Hubs and I have a bi-annual holiday we call "spank day". I got to the stripper store and buy a stripper outfit.. And a lot of times I'll choreograph a burlesque dance (I can twirl nipple tassels).. And I'll do the dance for DH.. I'll give him a killer lap dance (I was a stripper for three years before going to grad school and starting a real career).. And we have crazy sex all day. We treat it as a real holiday and take the day off of work to celebrate. DH's job is just to bring Popsicles. We don't do anything weird with them, they're just delicious
Meh, I'm not a real big pooper (once every other day more or less)...I'm not gonna force my body to do what it doesn't want to do.
Ugh, okay here goes a gross TMI (what else is new?)...
I normally poop multiple times daily. I have a freakishly high metabolism, which everyone always snarkily says shit about, like "oh but you're so skinny" or "oh you're so lucky" like being skinny makes your life so much easier or something. Maybe it would if life were all about hide-n-seek and I could maybe fit into smaller spaces? whatever. I digress...what no one knows is that it comes with some not so glamorous side-effects like constant gas. Horrible-smelling gas. And 2-3 times a day pooping. Not diahrrea. Big normal poops. If I go a day without pooping I consider myself constipated.
And plus also, if I go too long without eating I get the shakes, get a headache, start vomiting, have to get an IV, and if that doesn't work I have to get a shot in the ass to stop the vomiting and a suppository. Even getting the suppository is uncomfortable and obviously it's teensy tiny compared to H.
I think this may be affecting my ideas about how anal would go for me...
I'm naturally skinny too and get those comments all the fucking time. I tell people I'd like to be able to gain weight for the winter so I'd have some blubber to keep me warm. I don't tell people they look fat. Don't tell me I look skinny. I eat. I eat a lot. STFU.
Hubs and I have a bi-annual holiday we call "spank day". I got to the stripper store and buy a stripper outfit.. And a lot of times I'll choreograph a burlesque dance (I can twirl nipple tassels).. And I'll do the dance for DH.. I'll give him a killer lap dance (I was a stripper for three years before going to grad school and starting a real career).. And we have crazy sex all day. We treat it as a real holiday and take the day off of work to celebrate. DH's job is just to bring Popsicles. We don't do anything weird with them, they're just delicious
Having sex for hours usually involves lots of foreplay, oral and mutual masturbation. It's not all banging. It's alittle bit of this and alittle bit of that then some penetration. IM a BIG FAN!
It's not the having sex for hours part that is baffling. It's the 6 hours of sex while having a young infant. We love sex but it is definitely shorter since we have a baby who wakes up.
Lol yep, last night was like "if we're doing this, let's do it now. DS just went to bed and I don't wanna lose too much sleep." It was great but that's pretty much how we instigate sex lately over at our place.
Edit: I don't actually call him DS in front of FI. Just clarifying. Ha.
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
I don't understand why it's so important to make it known that you're a "dirty bitch". I'm all for being a freak in the bedroom but I would rather keep the intimate details of my sex life off a public forum and risk being called vanilla. I just don't see the point.
Soon to be mommy of 3! DS Grayson (3yrs) (Emergency Csec) DS Camden (1yr) (All natural Vbac) DD Isabella due 8/2/2014
I'm no prude. Honestly. But this thread just freaks me out...it keeps taking weird, and frankly, gross turns. My face is permanently like this as I'm reading-
Agreed. Nothing wrong with getting dirty. . And who is anyone to judge?! Every woman should do what they're comfortable doing... And if they want to be open about it, who cares?! It's entertaining to some (most). If you don't like it then don't open the thread. It's pretty self explaintory.
I've read far kinkier things than 50 shades.
I love the CD threads.
There is no such thing as vanilla sex. GTFOI and don't make comments on a thread that is obviously about sex if you are uncomfortable with the topic.
Really? 50 shades is much less graphic than some of the more weird posts. I'm all about sharing stories about BJ's and definitely tips on how to get sex fun again. There is just a line that crosses over to penthouse letters vs. having a fun conversation with the ladies about sex. I don't think any of the posters have issues with that or they wouldn't have read past @Scarfbandit's (@Lappyfoinker) initial pinned post. This is obvious. Lets pull the bunched up panties out of our crotches and get back to a fun conversation about BJ's and sex. That was what the initial post was about after all! Dirty, freaky, whatever. Just remember no matter how open you might feel there is a line that crosses over into full blown penthouse letters style porn. That's my opinion!
I'm no prude. Honestly. But this thread just freaks me out...it keeps taking weird, and frankly, gross turns. My face is permanently like this as I'm reading-
Then whhhyyyy do you keep reading it??? In so confused.
Because I can. because it's an open forum. Because it's like a train wreck, & I just can't look away as much as I want to.
I'm no prude. Honestly. But this thread just freaks me out...it keeps taking weird, and frankly, gross turns. My face is permanently like this as I'm reading-
Funny it seems FB'ers only join us when there something interesting going on. You're welcome for the entertainment.
That's like saying we only watch good tv shows. Uh yeah. Duh.
I'm no prude. Honestly. But this thread just freaks me out...it keeps taking weird, and frankly, gross turns. My face is permanently like this as I'm reading-
Funny it seems FB'ers only join us when there something interesting going on. You're welcome for the entertainment.
That's like saying we only watch good tv shows. Uh yeah. Duh.
....or some of us are just now returning to work...thus have some 'free time' to dabble on the internet.
Just sayin'....I didn't bump at ALL during mat. leave. Well, except once to do a fast and dirty birth announcement.
Now, I'm just lurkin'.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Proud Mother to 16 year old Austin (MCJROTC Sgt., Trumpet playing "Band Nerd" and hopeful Air Force Pilot!) Proud Stepmother to 12 year old Josh (Baseball playing, Saxophone playing "Band Nerd" and hopeful Doctor!) Proud Mother to baby Kaylee (Stuffed toy playing, Adorable smiling baby and hopeful Rodeo Princess!)
While I can agree that this thread is to each their own and you can skip the ones that are too tasteless for your cup of tea, everyone is entitled to their opinion. It IS an open forum whether we like it or not.
Some days you'll get a whole bunch of love its and other days you will get flamed. Thats how it works.
I dont think its fair to say that the "older regs" only come to start shit or for the awards, etc. just because there's a FB group, it doesnt exclude them from the bump. They have been here from the beginning, regardless of how active they've been lately.
Now, imo some discussions are a little much for me but generally i do enjoy this thread aswell and i do enjoy sharing experiences and/or sexual desires
Edit: mobile bumping is the reason for this big stupid paragraph.
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
So No one is allowed to voice an opinion unless it's one that is generally agreeable with the topic of this thread? I wasn't being rude or saying this thread shouldn't exist, I was simply stating my impression. This is a public forum...I didn't think that was a secret.
If you're only contribution to the board is negativity uh yeah we don't want that shit.
She was in no way being rude, sorry. No snark, just her opinion.
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
I think it's one thing to have a difference of opinion, and another thing to chime in and phrase your opinion in a way that makes someone else feel bad about themselves. I'm the first to admit I'm pretty much a prude, but I'm not going post shit that makes the more adventurous out there feel strange or out place. Which is pretty much what most of the FB people are doing. And yeah, it's the internet, so you're entitled to post what you want. But you better expect backlash from a community that's stuck around supporting each other for the past year rather than peacing out after six months or so.
Married since 8.2.08 DS born 8.11.14 BFP #2: 9.14.16, EDD: 5.24.17
If you don't like our opinions fine but what does being apart of the facebook group have to do with anything? Unless you're just mad you didn't join the group yourself.
The fact that we're all posting here is evidence we didn't just drop off the face of the planet anyways. The majority of us are around but most of the topics on the board are already covered in our group so it's only natural we would only post when there's a more interesting topic
I didn't say not to do it, that it was bad nor did I try and make anyone feel bad. I'm not offended in the least bit. But that's cool. Y'all bitch when we leave and stop posting and you bitch when we do try and post. )
Soon to be mommy of 3! DS Grayson (3yrs) (Emergency Csec) DS Camden (1yr) (All natural Vbac) DD Isabella due 8/2/2014
So because some ladies have disappeared for a while you assume it's because of Facebook? News flash: we had babies! We're busy! Now, we're back to work and less busy.
You have no idea who is in the Facebook group if you're not in it.
Lol to the awards post. Really? This board is so lame now.
Re: bj
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
I'm naturally skinny too and get those comments all the fucking time. I tell people I'd like to be able to gain weight for the winter so I'd have some blubber to keep me warm. I don't tell people they look fat. Don't tell me I look skinny. I eat. I eat a lot. STFU.
Anyway- I can only O with the showerhead.
I didn't even know anal orgasms existed :-<
ETA sad and sniffling face
Sleep > sex.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
Edit: I don't actually call him DS in front of FI. Just clarifying. Ha.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
DS Grayson (3yrs) (Emergency Csec)
DD Isabella due 8/2/2014
That's like saying we only watch good tv shows. Uh yeah. Duh.
Just sayin'....I didn't bump at ALL during mat. leave. Well, except once to do a fast and dirty birth announcement.
Now, I'm just lurkin'.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Proud Mother to 16 year old Austin (MCJROTC Sgt., Trumpet playing "Band Nerd" and hopeful Air Force Pilot!)
Proud Stepmother to 12 year old Josh (Baseball playing, Saxophone playing "Band Nerd" and hopeful Doctor!)
Proud Mother to baby Kaylee (Stuffed toy playing, Adorable smiling baby and hopeful Rodeo Princess!)
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
She was in no way being rude, sorry. No snark, just her opinion.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
DS born 8.11.14
BFP #2: 9.14.16, EDD: 5.24.17
The fact that we're all posting here is evidence we didn't just drop off the face of the planet anyways. The majority of us are around but most of the topics on the board are already covered in our group so it's only natural we would only post when there's a more interesting topic
DS Grayson (3yrs) (Emergency Csec)
DD Isabella due 8/2/2014
This. All of this.