I'll be leaving now (loss mentioned)

KirstenAlecia · November 2014

cross posted in a couple places cause i can't bear to type it several times

Well friends, sad sad news. I can not believe I'm sitting here typing this.

My 1st appt did not go as planned. I didn't get to cry happy tears when my baby popped up on the monitor for the sono.

Instead the Dr said "Im so sorry Kirsten, this looks like its going to be a miscarriage"

LO stopped growing a few weeks prior apparently. Im beyond heartbroken. Im so confused. Im very angry and hurt and don't even know what to do with myself. I have to find a way to break the news to my parents when they come home from vacation. My brother and my sister in law who is ecstatic cause we are supposed to be having babies together and within weeks of each other.

I love my husband and he has been good to me about this in letting me be sad and cry and whatever i need.......but inside Im mad at him for being prepared for this in such a way that if he wanted to he could say "i told you so" While he would never do this....Im still irrationally mad at him for being so mentally prepared for it.

I don't even see sadness in him. He says he is but it doesn't look like it. I told him i can't go up north this week and so we are staying home. He says he understands but he still thinks that we should sort of.

We are waiting to see if my body takes care of the inevitable naturally but honestly I don't thing it will. I think Dr. intervention will be necessary. I can't even imagine how bad this is going to get mentally once that happens.

Im sorry for the long vent. I know so many of you have been here before so you get it...I guess I just need to figure out whats next.

mommydlc · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss, take as much time as you need to grieve

TheNewMrsY · November 2014

I am so, so sorry you're going through this heartache. I hope everything gets resolved soon. Take care of yourself.

mccall35 · November 2014

I'm so sorry. A loss can illicit so many different feelings. I experienced a lot of what you did back in the spring. Thoughts and prayers to you and your DH (because even if he's showing it differently, I'm sure he's just as heartbroken... My DH reacted similarly and he told me months later, that he was just trying to be strong for both of us)

sammi2884 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss, it is very hard to deal with and can be very hard on your relationship. Give yourself time to grieve. I have had multiple losses and it is never easy but talking to people who understand when you are ready can be helpful. Take care of yourself

Ana0927 · November 2014

I am so sorry for your loss.

tahitiandreamin · November 2014

I am so, so sorry! Guys tend to process things like this in a very different way and seem not to show emotion. It's super tough when we as women are emotional. Take care of yourself.

sewro · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Colee11 · November 2014

Big hugs. So sorry. No words an make it better but my prayers are with you!

honeybunches101 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Belle0720 · November 2014

I am so sorry for your loss, sending you lots of hugs. Please take care of yourself and lean on those around you.

I can resonate with how you're feeling. I know that my H didn't experience the same level of sadness when I lost my first pregnancy. I didn't see him cry, yet I cried for days and still have my bad moments. It's a terrible thing to happen and I truly think that only someone who has experienced it themselves can understand the pain. Please PM me if you need someone to talk to or have questions about a d&c if you end up having to go that route.

veggiemo · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your husband seeming to be "mentally prepared" could be his way of staying strong for the both of you. Please take care of yourself.

Stormy61 · November 2014

So sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve and be kind to yourself.

finchfeeder80 · November 2014

I'm so sorry.

luvindanimals · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss! Definitely take care of yourself and take the time you need to heal. As for your husband he may be sad but just not want to show it to spare your feelings. Men aren't always as good as showing emotions as women.
T&P for you during this difficult time!

KimberlyandThor2014 · November 2014

So sorry for your loss honey. Let yourself be whatever you need to be and feel what you feel. You'll work through that stuff, the important part is being loving and gentle with yourself through the grief. ❤️❤️❤️

redrocksmama · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss.

acethebase · November 2014

I'm so sorry!!

kimmarie1105 · November 2014

Im sorry for your loss. Please try not to add anger to your husband to the other emotions that you're feeling. Let yourself grieve and let your husband be your rock. People show emotion differently. You need each other right now. Big hugs.

littlechemist · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. T&P for you and your husband in this difficult time.

brody624 · November 2014

I am so incredibly sorry

Praying for you!

GirPipley · November 2014

I'm very sorry for your loss.

ohiodoxiemama08 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself. As for your husband, men tend to handle this type a tragedy differently. Give him time and be open with him about your feelings. Lots of T&Ps.

blu-eyedwife · November 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. And everything you're feeling right now- let yourself feel. Be angry, be hurt, be disappointed, be loss. Worry less about others (your parents, your siblings, even your husband) and take care of you for a bit. It's okay to be selfish right now. The rest of the world will still be there when you're able to come up for air.

blastocarrier30 · November 2014

I'm so, so sorry. Please take care of yourself.

MisDawnD · November 2014

So sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family.

ksimo6 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. We have been there. I often looked at my husband and thought "why isn't he sad?!" as we went through our first ms... many months later, he explained to me that while he was sad, he was trying to help me though it so he kept a lot to himself. If you are able, try ot give your husband a little latitude. Give yourself the time you need to grieve. Hugs.

sgarmand · November 2014

I'm so very sorry for your loss, please take care of yourself and take the time you need. You are in my thoughts.

jbartsy · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss.

taboullio84 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your husband will grieve differently try not to stress over that. ( I know easier said than done)
my 3rd pregnancy I found out I would lose my baby . they wanted to do a D&C .I opted to wait. It took over a month. They brought me in one a week to check my blood to make sure there was no infection. For me it was what I needed. I was able to grieve and trust my body.

Tmi alert....
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When it finally happened it felt like labor. It hurt.. I lost a lot of blood and didn't have any pain medicine. ( I didn't have to go to the ER ) the next day I called my Dr. She called me in for an u/s it was over.

If you need to talk I'm here

sscott2111 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard not being able to see the intensity of pain that you feel in the eyes of your husband. I hope you don't feel alone and that you can both be a support to one another in this difficult time. Take it one day, one appointment, and one family member at a time. Loss is hard.

housewifebecomesher · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. If you end up having to have a D&C, it really was not a bad experience for me, all things considered.

We got pregnant three months later with our healthy baby girl. You could still be pregnant with your sister in law.

It is a hard, terrible thing to go through. I am sure you and your husband will come out stronger on the other side. In the meantime, take care of yourself.

Elley1486 · November 2014

I am so sorry for your loss.

holliberry28 · November 2014

I'm so sorry

[Deleted User] · November 2014

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KirstenAlecia · November 2014

Thank you ladies. Im really trying to go about things in the normal way.

Hoping the pain and acceptance sets in as soon as the MC actually happens and passes.

I understand the difference in H and mine reactions. I honestly can't expect him to feel what I'm feeling and I logically know that. He is being as good as he can and I know that. He says all kinds of things to soften this blow. He tells me "something had to have been off" he tells me that as soon as we get the go ahead "he is going to get me PG that very month....just watch" He is trying. So am i

tiffbot1985 · November 2014

I'm so sorry, take care.

Katerina&Baby · November 2014

I'm so so sorry! T&P for you and DH. Grieve in whatever way feels natural to you. To that end, please be sure to articulate what you need from your family when you tell them - especially if you don't want to talk about it past giving them the FYI. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

tinavonsparkle · November 2014

I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I want to give you a massive hug. Men grieve differently and he probably acting like he is remaining strong so he can be there for you. Wishing you so much love, hope and strength x x x