money troubles but want to ttc

Rowansmom08 · November 2014

Hello Ladies ... would just like to get some advise. I turned 36 in August. DH is almost 38. We would like to begin TTC right away, but our financial situation leaves much to be desired. We aren’t doing “bad” exactly. We make decent money. $135,000 a year in Hicksville, FL. The problem is that due to some medical problems and sheer stupidity we have a lot of credit card debt, student loan debt, and an embarrassing savings account. I have no idea how long it would take to pay this off. Im guessing 20 years or more. But because of our ages, Im hesitant to wait. I think we should wait another year to get our finances somewhat of an order, but Im wondering if another year is asking for fertility problems. I don’t actually have any known fertility problems. I had DS 6 years ago, but Im worried about fertility reduction and perhaps a need for IVF which we could never afford. Im just so mad at myself that we are in this situation and sad.I know nobody can give me an actual answer to my issue, but Id love to hear some opinions. Thanks, ladies J

stemi · November 2014

I really don't know what to tell you-- I guess it depends on how much debt you have. It sounds like you make plenty of money to have another child (many people do it with far less), but perhaps meeting with a debt counselor would help?

I have a lot of student loan debt, but we've finally gotten the bulk of our credit card debt under control-- it means sacrificing, for sure. It may be a matter of selling off some possessions to chip away at some of your debt... It's partially a matter of prioritizing what you want vs. what you have vs. what you're willing to sacrifice.

Having a lot of debt definitely sucks, and I can sympathize. But ultimately, it's for you and your H to decide what you are comfortable with.

Good luck with whichever path you choose!

vh2014 · November 2014

I've been on both sides. Plenty of debt, and finally in a position that may not be Suzie Orman approved, but still is comfortable. I think the key is to have a plan and hold your self accountable.

For me that means using mint.com (I don't work for them and any other tool you find will work too) and entering a budget and goals. I need that reassurance that I am on track especially for long term goals. I paid my car off that way and it was really cool to see it ticking away at "expected completion: month year" When I paid a little extra it was fun to see the month go down. I have my retirement goal, emergency fund, vacation plans, paying off our house, all in there. And nothing irritated me more then seeing the little bar go red when I go over budget so it keeps me on budget too for "extras"

You have a 6 year old, so you know what a baby will cost. I'd put that in your budget now and maybe even open a special savings account that you are putting that into. Then you'll know you can handle it later and build up an emergency fund (or even a fund if you need help later- but you really aren't there yet).

I'd say you want to at least feel like you have a plan and are in control before you start adding the stress of TTC.

rspalding001 · November 2014

In my opinion there is never a perfect time to have a baby, life will always be throwing something at you and you will have to make compromises of some sort. If it's what you want you should do it and trust that things will work themselves out. Maybe it takes 30 years instead if 20 to pay off the debt, oh well right? Anyway. That's my 2 cents

kelley72 · November 2014

Welcome. You've been given some great advice, I'd just suggest looking into Dave Ramsey if you are really ready to get your debt under control/change your life.

Most I want to point you to fertility friend and/or Toni Weschler's excellent book Taking Charge Of Your Fertility so that you gain understanding of how your body and cycles work and when/if the appropriate time comes for specialist assistance. Best wishes!

Davie813 · November 2014

Welcome. I agree with @rspalding001, but you might consider getting some preliminary testing (FSH, AMH, etc) to give you an idea of how much urgency there is to TTC right now. If you meet with a debt consolidation company, be very careful to pick a reputable, non-predatory one. Good luck!

rspalding001 said:

In my opinion there is never a perfect time to have a baby, life will always be throwing something at you and you will have to make compromises of some sort. If it's what you want you should do it and trust that things will work themselves out. Maybe it takes 30 years instead if 20 to pay off the debt, oh well right? Anyway. That's my 2 cents

wannabmama23 · November 2014

I agree with pp's and don't have much to add other than I'm in a similar boat. It's hard being stick between a rock and a hard place with time ticking but life not "quite" right yet, too. I agree with @rspalding001‌ that there's always *something*...

I think you can only do the best you can do with what you've got. So, for us that means we are doing a little bit each month to move in the right direction, while TTC. I'm not being overly aggressive with TTC yet and might wait more than six months to see a doc (planning on right around my 37th bday next May) and in the meantime squirrel away what I can while working on the "urgent" debts first.

@vh2014‌ I'm going to check out mint.com you're one of many who has suggested it!

Edit: damn autocorrect

MySallyGirl · November 2014

I guess if I knew I could swing trying to work on my debt and TTC I would totally TTC now while I have my best chances. There is never an ideal time to take on extra bills/stresses but like others said you have to decide what you want most and what you are able to sacrifice. I have this feeling for some reason that if I get pregnant again it will be twins. Probably won't happen, but they run in my family and it's always a possibility. If that happens, we'll have 4 kids and my entire lifestyle and financial situation will change. I would freak out, but it would be worth not going out to eat, buying less, totally changing out lifestyle to have another little one. I hope you make a decision you can feel good about.

Nikolie93 · November 2014

Late to the advice party and it seems like everyone has said some good stuff!

I would just like to reiterate that if you wait for the "perfect" time to have a baby, it may never come.

I think it's definitely important to get a handle on your debt plan wise so you and your husband feel more comfortable before moving forward.

Good luck!

flyliceandcoffee · November 2014

Late to the party as well, but like others have said, there may never be a "perfect" time to have a child. You've already gotten a lot of really good advice from everyone else, so I won't belabor the point. One thing I'd add, though, is that even if you were to get pregnant right away, you still have almost an entire year to bring down that debt....just sayin'...

C_Girlie · November 2014

TTC now and if it happens you can adjust. We all know the older we get we put ourself at a disadvantage to have a baby. Good luck

Rowansmom08 · November 2014

Great advice. Thank you ladies.

gscoville · November 2014

I think on top of focusing on your income/debt ratio, make sure you have proper insurance and the ability to either absorb or pay for anything above and beyond a 'normal' pregnancy and birth. Having such high debt means you're likely spending a great percentage of your income on payments/interest on your debt, which usually means you have less disposable income. You said already you can't afford IVF - think about whether you could also afford complications, if you had to be on extended bed rest and off work or deal with other expensive complications such as extended hospital stay, C-section, etc. I'm not trying to scare you as there's every possibility you'll have a normal pregnancy, but if money or the lack of it is already such a huge factor in things you also have to make sure to take into account 'worst case scenarios' that might eat up your already limited spending power.

money troubles but want to ttc

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