TTC after 35

money troubles but want to ttc

Rowansmom08Rowansmom08 member
edited November 2014 in TTC after 35


Hello Ladies ... would just like to get some advise. I turned 36 in August. DH is almost 38. We would like to begin TTC right away, but our financial situation leaves much to be desired. We aren’t doing “bad” exactly. We make decent money. $135,000 a year in Hicksville, FL. The problem is that due to some medical problems and sheer stupidity we have a lot of credit card debt, student loan debt, and an embarrassing savings account. I have no idea how long it would take to pay this off. Im guessing 20 years or more. But because of our ages, Im hesitant to wait. I think we should wait another year to get our finances somewhat of an order, but Im wondering if another year is asking for fertility problems. I don’t actually have any known fertility problems. I had DS 6 years ago, but Im worried about fertility reduction and perhaps a need for IVF which we could never afford.  Im just so mad at myself that we are in this situation and sad.I know nobody can give me an actual answer to my issue, but Id love to hear some opinions. Thanks, ladies J

Re: money troubles but want to ttc

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    I really don't know what to tell you-- I guess it depends on how much debt you have. It sounds like you make plenty of money to have another child (many people do it with far less), but perhaps meeting with a debt counselor would help?

    I have a lot of student loan debt, but we've finally gotten the bulk of our credit card debt under control-- it means sacrificing, for sure. It may be a matter of selling off some possessions to chip away at some of your debt... It's partially a matter of prioritizing what you want vs. what you have vs. what you're willing to sacrifice.

    Having a lot of debt definitely sucks, and I can sympathize. But ultimately, it's for you and your H to decide what you are comfortable with.

    Good luck with whichever path you choose!
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    I've been on both sides.  Plenty of debt, and finally in a position that may not be Suzie Orman approved, but still is comfortable.  I think the key is to have a plan and hold your self accountable.

    For me that means using (I don't work for them and any other tool you find will work too) and entering a budget and goals.  I need that reassurance that I am on track especially for long term goals.  I paid my car off that way and it was really cool to see it ticking away at "expected completion: month year"   When I paid a little extra it was fun to see the month go down.  I have my retirement goal, emergency fund, vacation plans, paying off our house, all in there.  And nothing irritated me more then seeing the little bar go red when I go over budget so it keeps me on budget too for "extras"  

    You have a 6 year old, so you know what a baby will cost.  I'd put that in your budget now and maybe even open a special savings account that you are putting that into.  Then you'll know you can handle it later and build up an emergency fund (or even a fund if you need help later- but you really aren't there yet). 

    I'd say you want to at least feel like you have a plan and are in control before you start adding the stress of TTC.  
    me:41   dh:43 
    Off Mirena Nov 2013, On Nuvaring end of Jan, Back off Sept 2014.  Never ending cycle starting end of Sept... 
    11/14 Provera failed... cycle continues 
    12/14 High FSH (57 "midcycle")  OBGYN had no clue... about anything 
    01/15 More lab results coming back from RE. U/S showed small (1")cyst on left ovary, thin lining, and couldn't locate right ovary so  possibly straight to DE and IVF 

    Occassionally mess with the chart below to see "what if" and learn (not to make it pretty but because FF stays drunk with me).  

    My Ovulation Chart
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    Welcome.  You've been given some great advice, I'd just suggest looking into Dave Ramsey if you are really ready to get your debt under control/change your life.  
    Most I want to point you to fertility friend and/or Toni Weschler's excellent book Taking Charge Of Your Fertility so that you gain understanding of how your body and cycles work and when/if the appropriate time comes for specialist assistance.  Best wishes!
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    Welcome.  I agree with @rspalding001, but you might consider getting some preliminary testing (FSH, AMH, etc) to give you an idea of how much urgency there is to TTC right now.  If you meet with a debt consolidation company, be very careful to pick a reputable, non-predatory one.  Good luck!
    In my opinion there is never a perfect time to have a baby, life will always be throwing something at you and you will have to make compromises of some sort. If it's what you want you should do it and trust that things will work themselves out. Maybe it takes 30 years instead if 20 to pay off the debt, oh well right? Anyway. That's my 2 cents ;)

    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.

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    My Ovulation Chart

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    wannabmama23wannabmama23 member
    edited November 2014
    I agree with pp's and don't have much to add other than I'm in a similar boat. It's hard being stick between a rock and a hard place with time ticking but life not "quite" right yet, too. I agree with @rspalding001‌ that there's always *something*...

    I think you can only do the best you can do with what you've got. So, for us that means we are doing a little bit each month to move in the right direction, while TTC. I'm not being overly aggressive with TTC yet and might wait more than six months to see a doc (planning on right around my 37th bday next May) and in the meantime squirrel away what I can while working on the "urgent" debts first.

    @vh2014‌ I'm going to check out you're one of many who has suggested it!

    Edit: damn autocorrect
    36, DH 31 TTC #1 since we got married, July 2014.
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    I guess if I knew I could swing trying to work on my debt and TTC I would totally TTC now while I have my best chances.  There is never an ideal time to take on extra bills/stresses but like others said you have to decide what you want most and what you are able to sacrifice.  I have this feeling  for some reason that if I get pregnant again it will be twins.  Probably won't happen, but they run in my family and it's always a possibility.  If that happens, we'll have 4 kids and my entire lifestyle and financial situation will change.  I would freak out, but it would be worth not going out to eat, buying less, totally changing out lifestyle to have another little one.  I hope you make a decision you can feel good about.  :)
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    Late to the advice party and it seems like everyone has said some good stuff!

    I would just like to reiterate that if you wait for the "perfect" time to have a baby, it may never come. 

    I think it's definitely important to get a handle on your debt plan wise so you and your husband feel more comfortable before moving forward. 

    Good luck! 
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 

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    Late to the party as well, but like others have said, there may never be a "perfect" time to have a child. You've already gotten a lot of really good advice from everyone else, so I won't belabor the point. One thing I'd add, though, is that even if you were to get pregnant right away, you still have almost an entire year to bring down that debt....just sayin'...
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    TTC now and if it happens you can adjust. We all know the older we get we put ourself at a disadvantage to have a baby. Good luck
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    Rowansmom08Rowansmom08 member
    edited November 2014
    Great advice. Thank you ladies.
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    I think on top of focusing on your income/debt ratio, make sure you have proper insurance and the ability to either absorb or pay for anything above and beyond a 'normal' pregnancy and birth. Having such high debt means you're likely spending a great percentage of your income on payments/interest on your debt, which usually means you have less disposable income. You said already you can't afford IVF - think about whether you could also afford complications, if you had to be on extended bed rest and off work or deal with other expensive complications such as extended hospital stay, C-section, etc. I'm not trying to scare you as there's every possibility you'll have a normal pregnancy, but if money or the lack of it is already such a huge factor in things you also have to make sure to take into account 'worst case scenarios' that might eat up your already limited spending power.



    Married August 2012. Me: 41  DH: 42 
    Daughter from previous marriage: 20

    BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
    June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
    Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014

    TTC journey over as of the end of October 2014


    All ALers welcome!

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