I have so much work to be doing...but instead I'm planning our outdoor Christmas decor since we actually have to purchase some. We've only ever lived in apartments at Christmas time and last Christmas, decorating the outside of our house with a newborn was super low on our priority list.
Also, the night the contractor came to measure our space for our new mantle/built-ins? I may or may not have played out a "carpenter and apprentice" fantasy in my head while DTD with DH that night...

#LOLFITMAMA
Re: FFFC
Most days, I think it would have been better for everyone if I had been the one to get in an accident and not MH.
And on a lighter note, before Tuesday I had not been to the dentist in at least 8 years ::hangs head in shame::
@TJHine that is 1,000% NOT TRUE. My heart breaks for you and I can't imagine having gone through what you have myself. You're a tough cookie. REMEMBER that; never doubt yourself. You can do this and you are a strong woman and wonderful mother. I'm coming from a concerned Bumpie place now. I'm not sure whether or not you're speaking to or have spoken to any medical professionals at all, but I really really think you may need to take some time to sort these feelings and emotions out with a professional. You deserve peace and happiness and positivity...and so does your son.
#LOLFITMAMA
Hugs @TJHine... please never think that... You are an amazing momma and we all love you!!
FFFC: I'm kinda bummed that the New BMB post died out yesterday, I love me some good drama.
Life began when I saw your face
I.J.C. born 11.3.13
Life began when I saw your face
I.J.C. born 11.3.13
I'm tired and frustrated and hate parenting alone. Actually I just hate doing life alone, period.
I promise, even though I feel this way, it in no way means I would ever do anything irrational. I love my son too much. I just honestly think Tim would have done a better job at all of this than me. And he for sure was the better person. I know I'm doing the best I can and most times am doing a good job. I'm just f-ing sad. I have had bad experiences with counseling and am nervous about trying again - that and I don't have someone to watch him for appt on a consistent basis.
ETA; posted too soon
Life began when I saw your face
I.J.C. born 11.3.13
What were your previous counseling experiences like? I know sometimes it takes individuals many appointments to find a good match and someone that "gets you."
#LOLFITMAMA
I literally just laughed out loud!
I've become close with some women in the area that have lost children in the very worst way, and they have been a tremendous support. And it's been helpful.
I think I'm just going through a tough season of grief right now. I've been told year 2 is harder than year one and I think they are right.
My FFFC: if DH falls asleep on the couch, I dont wake him to come to bed. I sleep so much better alone because of his snoring.
MMC 01/26/12
MC 12/25/12, D&C 01/05/13
BFP 03/05/13, EDD 11/12/13. HB 175 @ 9w2d. Its a Girl!
DX with EA/TEF Type C & Tracheomalaysia
MC @ 13wks 01/15/15
BFP 1/11/18, EDD 9/21/18
(Shocking, right?)
My fffc I was looking up preschool options this morning to see what the earliest ones are...jase has been a whiny BEAR lately all waking hours.
@UntaggableKatie I like Clay Matthews also.
@Megswen Let's just say Mormonism is not for me, but I will say I like how family centered it is and the Mormons I've known are wonderful people. The belief system itself I can't embrace, but it does produce kind people, and I think that's great.
@TJHine expect a PM later. I really think you need a break. You're in a unique position and it's hard enough doing this with the support of a SO.
It was crowded and he likes to get out of the stroller and walk but I can't let him in that setting. I would let him walk a little and then have to pick him up to get back in the stroller and he was so frustrated. A leash would have made him a lot happier, I think.
I might hurt the next person that remarks, "He is so strong-willed."
Even if that person is my mom.
I say you're fine as long as you aren't applying styling products!
Here's a couple..
I am wearing Payless Uggs today... (IT's COLD OUTSIDE!!!)
@cagoldi, LO got some product in his hair after his first haircut at my salon... it was the most adorable mohawk.. but other than that no products..
Life began when I saw your face
I.J.C. born 11.3.13
#LOLFITMAMA
@Smilz4782 I appreciate your comments - and you are right, I could marry again someday...and who knows, if that is part of the plan than maybe I will. I will say that right now, the thought is incredibly hard for me, our marriage was pretty amazing and he was kind of my everything, and I was excited to see him every single day. I have felt this way about him since I was 15 years old. It is just going to take a good long time before I could ever even consider a different relationship.
Also, for those of you who suggested counseling again, I wanted to say thank you. I decided to reach out to someone that had been recommended to me, I will be meeting her the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. And I can bring T. The only thing is she doesn't accept insurance - so we will see if I can afford it.
In the meantime, thank you all so much, seriously, for your help through this. I have a hard time being real about this IRL, so I really appreciate that I can be real here.
But I want you to know you are never alone. Both God and Tim are watching over you and little Tim always. And you have that beautiful little boy in your life to love and hug every day.
I can't fathom what you are going through, but I am so happy that you trust our group enough to confide in us, you always can- we are always here. And we will help in any way that we can. Sending you love and hugs today and everyday !!!!
@TJHine, SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!! It is so hard to reach out. I remember the day of my first therapy session... I WAS SO SCARED!!!! I wanted to bail.
You are so strong, you will do this and we will always be here no matter what!!
Life began when I saw your face
I.J.C. born 11.3.13
#LOLFITMAMA