Telling baby "no" (Mod edit: possible abuse triggers)

karinak1977 · November 2014

So our little one is all over the place- crawling and pulling himself up. How do you go about effectively teaching the word no or not to do certain things like wanting to crawl up the fireplace or play in the dogs water bowl?

candypantsls · November 2014

Oh, no success here yet. He's standing up in the bathtub, opening drawers, and getting into everything. I just manage the space he is in the best I can and move him away from dangerous things. Honestly I don't know.

MiaMyPuggle · November 2014

Redirect him is pretty much the only effective thing at this point. Too young to grasp the concept of "no". If you say, "no, don't touch that", you should say, "play with this red ball instead" afterwards.

jhjocelyn · November 2014

I remember hearing somewhere to make the main space lo is in baby-proof so they can explore without hearing no constantly. In other spaces just be consistent with it, remove lo n distract works well with dd.
She understands what no means and what I am saying no about, she prefers to make a run for it, but its a start I think?

chicki1012 · November 2014

sclover92 said:

We pretty much just keep an eye on him wherever he is... pull him away from things he doesn't need to be touching. We always say no, don't do/touch/eat that, but he doesn't comprehend it yet.

I figure at this age he's learning and exploring what everything is, he's just curious & isn't trying to be bad. So we try to be gentle about it.

Though, we are trying to teach NO biting. and that is not working at all.

This exactly, u just have to be consistant

kiki1978 · November 2014

I do use no when he's pulling on my glasses or the cat's tail. I have read though that you have to do more than just say no all the time. Redirect, move them away from the temptation, etc.

Lena122 · November 2014

They're much too young to grasp "no" at this point. Redirection is really the only thing will work.

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painttheair14 · November 2014

I'm glad you posted this! We also redirect him.

I'm sick of my mom telling me "he needs to learn the word no."

blue_elle · November 2014

We use "no" and redirect. He knows what no means. He'll stop whatever it is you can see the wheels turning. Sometimes he moves on, but sometimes he'll go for it and glance to see if I'm still looking. That's when repeat "no, don't (whatever)" and move him to something else.

NenaMarie84 · November 2014

^^ same as she said.

bensmommy518 · November 2014

Say no and redirect. Keep redirecting.

SandFHasse · November 2014

We say no and redirect. He's been pulling hair a lot and biting a lot. I say no or ow and redirect him, but now he cries when I tell him no.

mommabird77 · November 2014

natalawson said:

Mine knows the word no and choses not to listen sometimes. I can tell her no on most things and she'll move on, but if it's something she really wants...we pop hands in this household. Redirecting doesn't work for strong-willed little ones.

Redirection does work for "strong willed children," you just need to do it correctly. You can also just remove them from the whole situation if redirection isn't working. Also, a 10 month old being labeled strong willed is kind of silly to me. Babies are exploring their environment, they do not fully understand why they can't do something because it is dangerous etc.

Also, not gonna lie, popping a 10 month old hand, totally not appropriate to me.

EDIT: So glad I quoted her.

chicki1012 · November 2014

mamatoosh said:
Does popping a hand = hitting? I missed this the first time.

My dog ate my brand new sofa and I didn't hit her. No way I'm treating my kid worse than my dog.

Pretty sure it means a slap on the hand, which I also agree with @mammabird77 it's inappropriate

SandFHasse · November 2014

I missed the hand popping. I'm going to have to agree that it's totally inappropriate.

blue_elle · November 2014

^ I was wondering when that was going to be brought up! In also in camp too early for discipline

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TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

karinak1977 said:
So our little one is all over the place- crawling and pulling himself up.

How do you go about effectively teaching the word no or not to do certain things like wanting to crawl up the fireplace or play in the dogs water bowl?

Lol

umma4babes · November 2014

We have been saying no and redirecting, and I think she's starting to realize what's okay and what's not. She used to crawl up to tv stand to pull herself up all the time, and now she'll only do it if she thinks no one is watching. If she sees me popping my head in, she'll jump and do a weird fake laugh, then crawl back to the rug area.
But for the most part we just watch her closely. Her brother takes a great pleasure in yelling "no, it's dangerous!" so that's been helping too lol

pinkyxboo · November 2014

natalawson said:
I'm sorry. I forget that some parents believe spanking is child abuse and find other forms of "discipline". You're never going to make me feel bad for doing what I do. I'm going to have well mannered children while you try redirecting your 10 year old in a temper tantrum.

Yes let's all preach and teach our children that its okay to hit someone if they are doing something they perceive as bad or wrong. Spanking is the most hypocritical discipline technique. Yes, let's teach our children that hitting and violence are okay and acceptable as long as the circumstances are correct. Oh, you hit mommy? Well let me teach you hitting is wrong by hitting you back. Oh, you were being a normal 10 month old baby and exploring your surroundings? Well let me smack your hand so you can associate what you are doing with pain and fear since you are an infant and you cannot understand discipline or right from wrong yet. Good luck with that.

holly142 · November 2014

mamatoosh said:

@natalawson‌ I feel like there's a little pot-kettle thing happening in your response, but putting that aside for a minute -- can you describe hand popping for me then? I truly have not heard the term before this thread. To me it sounds like hitting your baby's hand. Please tell me if I have it wrong.

I honestly had never heard of this term before and never seen anyone do it. Maybe it is more common in certain areas?

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tylynngrace94 · November 2014

I try not to say no a whole lot, I just redirect him like others have said. Like if he pulls my hair or bites me I say "be nice ashton" and he stops.

pinkyxboo · November 2014

How are you going to tell me you're "fine" when you are sitting here trying to justify smacking a 10 month old infant on the hand as "discipline"?

And eta...
You're not teaching respect. You're teaching fear. Which you said so yourself...you do it to scare. You can't teach respect when you're not even giving your child respect enough to teach her using a concious method of discipline.

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breadpudding · November 2014

Lurking from F14.

@natalawson‌ I just... I can't. WTAF?! How are you going to gain respect from your
child(ren) by forcing them to fear you? I'm seriously side-eyeing you here. Hard.

ETA- Removed Bill Cosby meme. Sorry, everyone. I had no clue.
<----- Lives under a rock

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breadpudding · November 2014

kellydew09 said:

breadpudding said:
Lurking from F14.

@natalawson‌ I just... I can't. WTAF?! How are you going to gain respect from your
child(ren) by forcing them to fear you? I'm seriously side-eyeing you here. Hard.

I get what you're saying, but not sure a Bill Cosby image is the best choice...

I must live under a rock because I had not heard about any of that.

A quick and simple "Bill Cosby" google search led me to the answer as to why that meme was an issue here. I'm so, so, so sorry that I chose that one, I had no clue about what has been going on with him. I'm going to remove it out of my original comment just because it's bothering me now too. I'm sorry if I upset anyone.

breadpudding · November 2014

itsmeally said:
@breadpudding‌

I wouldn't worry. You were trying to be funny, and honestly I had no clue about this until 2 days ago. And my first reaction was "NO. That is not true".

Thanks!

I had to stop reading it because my reaction was similar to yours. It's very sad.
Again, I'm sorry.

MissMeegs · November 2014

My favorite part of this type of discussion is that people who got their "asses whipped" as children are always the ones bleating about how they are totally fine and normal now...while in the same breath arguing vigorously on the internet in favor of hitting babies. :-D

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mommabird77 · November 2014

@natalawson‌ I am LOLing at the fact you are butthurt by many of us telling you we do not think popping a 10 month old on the hand is appropriate, and somehow think we shouldn't comment on how we don't agree with an outdated form of discipline. Any kind of physical punishment: popping hands, smacking, spanking etc. is, as you even said, causing your children to fear you, is outdated and can cause emotional harm. I don't strive for my children to fear me, and I do not need to use fear to make my children do what I want them to do.

You seem to get agitated and angry easily.