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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
ashleyann62215
member
What was my blighted ovum?
ashleyann62215
member
Today has been a rough day. Everyone has been so supportive and I'm sorry for so many on here who are going through losses. Today has been particularly rough because I was thinking about my doctor, and when he confirmed that I had a blighted ovum, he said "the most important thing to remember here is that you didn't lose a baby." (Which scientifically that may be true;the embryo never developeD, but an egg met a sperm and therefore conception happened)But I feel like I did. I wrote to my baby, I talked to it, I prayed for it, and when I found out it wasn't there I felt like I had been tricked. So to me I did lose a baby. So my question is, has anyone else that has suffered from a blighted ovum feel like they lost a soul? It makes me feel empty to think that I don't have an angel baby but I asked someone the other day and they said it was "just a ball of cells." Does anyone feel like that they lost more than just a ball of cells? I hope this doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. I'm just hoping to find someone who understands what I'm feeling.
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Re: What was my blighted ovum?
(Hugs) I don't have any experiene with bo. However, technically or scientifically even a loss of a baby or fetus early on is a "ball of cells." Don't let anyone tell you that you should not grieve, not that this is what your dr was saying though. As soon as you see that positive result, the world changes and your mind goes into planning and thinking about it all. It is a loss.
I know exactly what you mean by feeling the loss of what was there. I remember significantly feeling that way with my first loss. It seemed as if I could feel that the life was gone. I am so sorry you are having a rough time. It will get better, but it will always come back in waves. Another (Hug). Thinking of you.
Me: 31 DH: 36
Dated Since ‘02, Married in ‘06
BFP#1 05/16/06, EDD01/16/07, MC 06/12/06 at 8 weeks
BFP #2 08/14/14, EDD 04/22/15, MC 09/17/14 at 9 weeks
My Chart
My first loss may have been a BO. My doctor never referred to it as that, she just called it a miscarriage. The surgeon who did my d&c said it could have been a BO. I just tell people I had a miscarriage.
My second loss was discovered much earlier, when it was discovered there was no sack yet, just a cyst. My doctors still called it a miscarriage, not a chemical pregnancy.
Regardless, chemical pregnancy, blighted ovum, miscarriage you were pregnant and you loved your baby, idea of your baby, whatever. It is still a loss in my mind.
Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve, or to move on, it's no big deal etc. The second that double line appears you fall in love. Take all the time you need.
BFP #1 05/03/12 DD: 12/18/12
BFP #2 05/26/14 MMC: 6/26/14 D&C: 7/18/14
BFP #3 10/09/14 MC 10/24/14
Don't let anyone try to downplay your situation. Like Flyoffeve said, once you get that positive result, it's your baby. It pisses me off to think that people have the right to say things like that.
As for your friend, you may want to talk to her and lay some boundaries. That must have been very difficult to see. She may want to share this experience with you but you're raw right now and if she is a true friend, she would understand.
Also don't feel bad about the random crying. I did that for quite some time.
I hope you have a little better day today *hug*