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October 2014 Moms
Motherhood Haiku Poems
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Re: Motherhood Haiku Poems
Stay the fuck on fucking hat!
Give up on the hat
Little old lady
"Your baby should wear a hat"
Throat punch old lady
Hat goes back on head
Screaming fit in parking lot
Hat now in puddle
My Ovulation Chart Simple Link: My Ovulation Chart
So you grunt and cry until
I turn up T Swift
What the fuck do you want, then?
Oh. You want your dad.
Totally throws off schedule
Will this baby sleep?
This makes my nethers tingle.
I'll be pregnant soon.
Projectile vomit on me
Friday nights have changed
Please, Mama's so tired right now
Sleep, baby boy, sleep
Husband let him sleep all day
Husband now snoring
Snoring so loudly
Put pillow over his head
Silence is so sweet
I Wake up in a puddle
Shirt is soaked right through
Stop at a red light
You scream like you're being hurt
Might start running reds
Spit it out - mom puts it back
Gonna tape it in
My Ovulation Chart Simple Link: My Ovulation Chart
Sleeps for 6 whole straight hours
Only during day :-S
My Ovulation Chart Simple Link: My Ovulation Chart
Lay me down and I wake up
Tricked you again mom!
Sleepy eyes. Happy noises.
Vomit everywhere.
Then sneezed in my direction
It's on my face now
Mommy is getting sleepy
Baby wide awake
Baby has a nose whistle
Buy vaporizer
Bulge in vagina
What the hell is that, poster?
Please call your doctor.
Thanksgiving thread, mouth waters
I am conflicted
I need baby whisperer
Make my baby sleep
Asleep while on the breast
You were just tired
Finally, but then I sneeze
Shit, startled awake.
I think I've got a problem
Thoughts all in haiku
I cannot stop haikuing.
Someone call buzzfeed.
The 'net needs to read.
They will understand our pain.
We all just need sleep.
She's laying on top of me.
But, I have to pee.
Water all over the floor
Mom has mental break
Blame the wet spot on APurp
She will understand
My Ovulation Chart Simple Link: My Ovulation Chart
Put fussy baby to sleep
Mom slept four hours
Just outside of the shower
Scrub a dub dub dub
Wimpers unless I hold him
Gripe water no help
All you wanted was your nuk
Slept for 2 more hours
Wake up crying now
Barely ate, changed your diaper
Just talking to me
Of the top 10 best haikus
I love to click things
My Ovulation Chart Simple Link: My Ovulation Chart
My Ovulation Chart Simple Link: My Ovulation Chart