Would you let your 11yo go to a week-night movie opening?

CageyMack · November 2014

My 11yo's friends are going to a movie opening on Thursday night. Showtime is at 8pm, runtime 2hrs. One mom has initiated this and is going. I'm shocked that parents would even consider this. Would you let your 11yo go to a movie on a school night? By the way, I'm saying no way, but we are taking her on Friday night. It's Mockingjay, which is hard enough for me to deal with, but she read the book and it has a strong female lead, so on and so forth.

Jazibel · November 2014

That's a tough one. Personally I loooove opening nights for big movies like these (Harry Potter, etc.) But, 11 seems just a little young, so I'm with you on this one @cageymack. Mainly because getting to bed after 11 seems like it would upset the rhythm of the school day on Friday. Also since I go as an adult, I see how rowdy it gets in the theaters on opening night, I think it might be too much for 11 year olds on their own - maybe with a parent/guardian with the group?

KH826 · November 2014

So, I have one kiddo currently, and he is about 10.5 yrs shy of being ready for this sort of question... with that being said, I would say no. J would probably say yes if she went along. I am way more strict of the two of us, and I tend to think staying out late on a school night at that age is a non-starter in my house. BUT, I may very well change my mind once I have kids that are that age. I am all for "treats every once in a while;" however, they have to be truly special, for a good reason, and not frequent. If this movie was a "one night only" type of thing, it might be a different story. The movie will still be there on Friday!

ball.and.chain · November 2014

I voted "I want to see what others say," but the more I think about it, the more I realize my answer would be no. As a special treat in high school, probably. On a weekend, probably. On a school night at 11, no. But I'm already on track to be the least fun mom in the world, and I'm OK with that.

2brides · November 2014

Maybe. Yes, it would be late to get to bed - but then they only have to get through Friday at school (and this would be assuming no tests that day) before recovering over the weekend with a low-key weekend.

It would also depend on how my child does with staying up late. Neither of my kids /really enjoy staying up late. They get overly tired and cranky by 9pm (which is why we hold a strict 8pm bedtime Sunday - Thursday.)

Long and short, I am not hard in the camp of yes and no - and there would be a long discussion with L about it.

valeriegp · November 2014

Probably not, though I think I'd be in the minority. I taught school for 6 years and my partner worked in a junior high until this year, and this sort of thing was very common. But, I'm old school and would say no. A 14 or 15 year old, maybe. An 11 year old. No.

(PS: And, boy, do I understand the Mockingjay pull. I'll be going Saturday!!)

CageyMack · November 2014

Thanks, All!

Yeah, I feel a little guilty about my choice, but she does terribly when she stays up even a little past her 8 pm bedtime. And, yes, I make her go to bed at 8 pm. I'm realizing in the minority as a bed-time setting, no smart-phone, no video game (well, she has an old hand-held DS) family.

We are so lame. : )

The next set of kids (the toddler and the new baby)? I kind of want to raise them in my version of M. Night Shyamalan's "The Villiage." Except those people were crazy, and I'm totally not. But, yes, I think within two years we will live in the country and home-school and be "those" parents. Plus gay. Sheesh. My kids don't stand a chance.

I completely respect other parents' decisions, too, since I know there are all kinds of wonderful experiences in the world. Some families love opening night of blockbusters and it IS a great family thing!

JGY · November 2014

CageyMack said:

...

I completely respect other parents' decisions, too, since I know there are all kinds of wonderful experiences in the world. Some families love opening night of blockbusters and it IS a great family thing!

Yeah, so, if this was what it was (a family thing) I might feel differently about it. But it's not a family thing, it's a weird social pressure thing perpetuated by another parent who clearly has a different philosophy. Maybe that's a harsh way of putting it, but I'm tired. Forgive me.

I'd have a REALLY hard time going along with this but that's probably, at least in part, because movies just aren't a big deal in my family. Seeing a movie 1 day before other people just doesn't seem like a big enough deal to me to treat it as the level of "Special" that it would need to be to sacrifice the schoolnight routine. Perhaps my answer would be different if this were a one-night-only concert or theatre production. Hmmm ... now I'm going to have to go think more about it.

ATXmommas · November 2014

I voted No simply because 11 seems a bit too young for this particular treat. However, I don't feel SO strongly about it that I don't wonder if I might be in the camp that allows this type of thing in 10 years... I can see both sides for sure.

CageyMack · November 2014

@JGY: You perfectly articulate my view. Thanks, as usual.

I was feeling guilty just now, and got on to read more thoughts and there you are! Hee, hee!

How's the boy? Ours is HILARIOUS right now. He has started saying a lot more words, being less grouchy, and just generally more fun (although TERRIBLY clingy to me). And he still wakes up at 5am. Sigh. But he goes to sleep well, so I suppose we can't win them all.

KH826 · November 2014

@CageyMack - if you are lame, I want to be lame when I grow up. I am old school and proud of it. If other peeps don't like it, that's totally fine. I would have no problem sticking to my guns with a "no" on this one. The more thought I gave this throughout the day the more I felt confident in that answer. Good luck and keep us posted?

CageyMack · November 2014

Thanks @KH826! I appreciate your confidence. I'm normally a reasonably confident parent, but sometimes I just think something is so bizarre that I wonder if I'm way off track.

I will keep you posted!

mommamommy&me · November 2014

Hey it's a one night thing, all her friends that see it Thursday will be already talking about it Friday. Be the cool mom and let it be her treat for the week. Especially if she has at 11 read that huge book! This will be a memory that will stick with her and if you feel more comfortable definitely go with a It will give you some bonding time.

kristi&p · November 2014

I would allow my child to go with a group of friends and parent. It's a treat to do something out of the norm once and a while.

redrockmama · November 2014

That's hard, especially when it isn't your idea but another parent's idea. I think it's always nice when parents talk to other parents before they talk to kids about them, just my opinion though. I think I'd probably let my 11 y.o go, but it really depends on the kid and your family. I don't think movies are a big deal and think opening night things are silly and I hate crowds, so it's not my thing. I would be much more likely to say yes if it was a one time showing or some other live event-play, symphony, etc. Don't feel bad, hopefully your little (big) one won't be too upset, and one day she'll be glad she has parents that put her well-being first

wishiwaspreggo · November 2014

It would depend on my child's maturity at that point. My parents would have let me (provided an adult was going, too, which it sounds like is the case). But my parents were also relatively liberal in raising me and I was the last so I think they were just done lol... I've always been really independent and capable of taking care of myself, plus I'm a night owl.

Plus it's an opening premier with all her friends. I don't know if I could say no to that just because it would be so much fun for her. It's not like this sort of thing happens every weekend, right? And what better way to watch a movie that may be a little intense for her age than with a group of kids her own age so they can experience it together?

I don't know if C would agree with me. It's a tough choice but everyone is entitled to raise their kids as they see fit. If you're uncomfortable with it, she'll just have to wait.

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