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December 2014 Moms
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SO leaves the house this morning...

nextworldwondernextworldwonder member
in December 2014 Moms
"I'm going to just look at this trailer. I know we can't afford it. I'm just going to look at it."

8 hours later and there is a 28 foot surprise taking up the entire driveway. 
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Re: SO leaves the house this morning...

  • nextworldwondernextworldwonder member
    Oh no. I was eating dinner and I hear a noise. DD1 goes to the window and says "THERE'S A TRAILER!" I was not pre-informed and yet somehow I'm not surprised. His business partner was with him (to provide an audience I'm sure) and he was all like "aren't you proud?" Umm no. Especially for it to be followed by how SO's current truck doesn't have enough power to carry the trailer (duh). I give it less than a month before he brings home a new truck. Not a truck that can be afforded, but a truck WAAAAY out of the budget. Because apparently that's what's important.
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  • nextworldwondernextworldwonder member
    jessblair101 said:
    I'm sorry he didn't consult you!! I would have killed him!!!(not literally of course)
    Hence why he brought home and audience
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  • Shortstack06Shortstack06 member
    Obviously you said business partner, so tax right off if he bought it in the business name. My husband is self employed and if it is a business purchase, eh.
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  • LinziLoo09LinziLoo09 member
    Geez, that's annoying! Sorry you're having to deal with that.
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  • nextworldwondernextworldwonder member
    Shortstack06 said:
    Obviously you said business partner, so tax right off if he bought it in the business name. My husband is self employed and if it is a business purchase, eh.
    Tax write off if he had any intention of filing taxes. He's not exactly that organized.
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  • nextworldwondernextworldwonder member
    This is my entire driveway
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  • racheldiariesracheldiaries member
    Wow. I would be absolutely livid if DH did that. I'm sorry...
    BFP #1 - 12.25.13 // MMC - 01.23.14
    BFP #2 - 03.27.14 // EDD - 12.07.14

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  • amedberyamedbery member
    I just got mad at my husband from thinking about how mad I'd be if he pulled that shit. Usually you can get out of the deal within a day or so - can't he take it back? Does he have any reason he needs it? So sorry he did that to you!
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  • nextworldwondernextworldwonder member
    CandEChicago said:
    Shortstack06 said:
    Obviously you said business partner, so tax right off if he bought it in the business name. My husband is self employed and if it is a business purchase, eh.
    Tax write off if he had any intention of filing taxes. He's not exactly that organized.
    --------------- La...la...la...la....I did not hear this.
    A huge part of why he is SO and not DH. Pisses me off
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  • nextworldwondernextworldwonder member
    He thinks I'm upset because it's unnecessarily large. Why is it that some people cannot hear the words coming out of one's mouth? I'm talking and all he hears is "it's big." WTF. And apparently he didn't work today like he was supposed to. All 8 hours of the day were spent with the trailer. 
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  • BankerBSNBankerBSN member
    edited November 2014
    CandEChicago said:

    nextworldwonder said:


    Shortstack06 said:

    Obviously you said business partner, so tax right off if he bought it in the business name. My husband is self employed and if it is a business purchase, eh.

    Tax write off if he had any intention of filing taxes. He's not exactly that organized.
    ---------------
    La...la...la...la....I did not hear this.


    Ummm....

    image

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  • ColoradoBoatColoradoBoat member
    Wow, just wow! So sorry, maybe u should chat about why he is buying this right before baby? Maybe he's struggling with all the upcoming changes.
    EDD 12/3/14 First time Mom!

    D14 Free for All

    These two are just so funny...

    Also, due date has come, gone and I am just so anxious to meet baby!  Please be healthy and strong baby, mama can't wait to meet you :)
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  • designchicadesignchica member
    Wow, this sucks. How are you feeling, OP?  I'm sorry you weren't consulted.
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  • sarals24sarals24 member
    There seems to be a serious lack of communication between you two. I would never purchase something like that without consulting my husband, pregnant or not. He wouldn't either. How is this something that you put up with?
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img 
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  • BankerBSNBankerBSN member
    kaylam714 said:

    This is why DH is only allowed to have one card, no check book, no debit card and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know which bank we use.

    It works well for us. I just pay his credit card off every month and he's a happy man...and we get air miles.

    If he wants to make a big purchase he has to take me with him. But, in all seriousness, we talk EVERYTHING through before we do anything out of the ordinary. Good luck with that trailer!


    Has your DH been know to have a spending problem?

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  • Shortstack06Shortstack06 member
    I guess when I thought trailer, I didn't think of a camper. I was thinking a flatbed or something to haul equipment. If you are anywhere near a gas boom, rent it out to out of town workers.
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  • nextworldwondernextworldwonder member
    ColoradoBoat said:
    Wow, just wow! So sorry, maybe u should chat about why he is buying this right before baby? Maybe he's struggling with all the upcoming changes.
    We've been talking about it for weeks. Last I knew he was on board with the fact that it wasn't practical to get a trailer right now. He is the one that stresses about money more than I do. But when he gets gung ho about something... ugh.
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  • BankerBSNBankerBSN member
    Shortstack06 said:

    I guess when I thought trailer, I didn't think of a camper. I was thinking a flatbed or something to haul equipment. If you are anywhere near a gas boom, rent it out to out of town workers.


    I thought he went out to look at double wides.

    image

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  • LinziLoo09LinziLoo09 member
    I imagine this might not be the first communication issue you've encountered? Perhaps the largest though...
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    ~BFP 03/22/14 EDD 12/05/14~                       
    ~Baby Z born 11/28/14~
                           
    Baby #2
    ~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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  • designchicadesignchica member
    I know a woman who divorced her husband of 15 years when he came home with a sports car that would not accommodate their four kids.  Granted, there had been other problems but that was the final straw. They still remain good friends and have both remarried and they even go on family vacations with their new spouses and kids and each other, so it all worked out for the best in the end, but when he came home with that sports car without discussing it with her, she laid down the law! 
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  • xc1148xc1148 member
    nextworldwonder said:
    CandEChicago said:
    Shortstack06 said:
    Obviously you said business partner, so tax right off if he bought it in the business name. My husband is self employed and if it is a business purchase, eh.
    Tax write off if he had any intention of filing taxes. He's not exactly that organized.
    --------------- La...la...la...la....I did not hear this.
    A huge part of why he is SO and not DH. Pisses me off
    But....you're having his child? And trust him to be serious/grow up once a baby shows up?
    TTC since June 2011
    DH: perfect SA
    Me: 30, moderate endo, unexplained infertility
    IUI or IVF in December



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  • hollycnhollycn member
    You don't sound that mad OP.

    I would be so pissed off!
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  • nextworldwondernextworldwonder member
    @xc1148 there's extenuating circumstances that lead to this pregnancy. Trust me when I say it wasn't planned. @hollycn i am numbingly livid. I am still trying to process why he even thought this was a good idea... why he thought this was acceptable
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  • hollycnhollycn member
    nextworldwonder said:

    @xc1148 there's extenuating circumstances that lead to this pregnancy. Trust me when I say it wasn't planned. @hollycn i am numbingly livid. I am still trying to process why he even thought this was a good idea... why he thought this was acceptable

    Ah... Anger to the point of speechlessness. I've been there! Sorry you're feeling that.
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  • nextworldwondernextworldwonder member
    It's completely gutted out for the purpose of holding all his tools and crap (he's in construction). At least he says it's already gutted. I refuse to go look in it.
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  • kirstey728kirstey728 member
    I'm sorry OP!!! It sucks to not be consulted about things! Hopefully he won't make any more decisions like this one.

    I see posts like this and think of how lucky I am that my DH is better with money than I am. He is in charge of the funds, and I prefer it. I HATE managing money
    DH and I: Married 6/9/2017
    DS: birthday 12/17/14

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  • aksue22aksue22 member
    Reminds me of an episode of Mind of the Married Man. He bought a sports car and then his wife overheard him calling her a c*#t. She returned it behind his back for a minivan and told him that before he calls someone that, he should think of what a c*#t would do.

     

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  • byrne15byrne15 member

    DH and I weren't married or having children at the time, but about 8 years ago that is the same exact way we got a boat.

    We talked about getting the boat.  Didn't agree on getting the boat.  Sent me photo of boat in our driveway.

    ~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
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  • diz1313diz1313 member
    Oh, I am so sorry he did that. I would be beyond livid. Spending money one shouldn't is bad enough, but disrespecting you that way is completely uncalled for. From the sound of it he's done it before..... I would have a serious talk about how he sees your relationship and how he expects it to continue if he is going to treat you that way.
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  • CandaceC1020CandaceC1020 member
    Not to be mean, but it sounds like this relationship is doomed. 
    Married on October 20, 2012.  Began trying in January 2013.
    RE appointment & testing December 2013 - February 2014= Unexplained IF, possible endometriosis
    IUI#1- March 22 (100mg clomid, 75 mg of Bravelle, Ovidrel trigger) = BFP!!!


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  • JunkieBrewsterJunkieBrewster member
    Shortstack06 said:

    Obviously you said business partner, so tax right off if he bought it in the business name. My husband is self employed and if it is a business purchase, eh.

    Write-offs help, but they certainly do not negate the stress/burden of a large purchase.
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  • nextworldwondernextworldwonder member
    I will not disagree that this relationship is doomed. I think I was really hoping the new baby would llght a fire under his ass and he just proved otherwise. Either way I am pissed. It was a mess trying to get to sleep last night and after 2 hours of sleep I woke back up and have been in constant stages of panic attack since. I am freaking out and don't even know how to logically express my feelings to him because he refuses to see it any way other than his way,
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