When does it get easier?

[Deleted User] · November 2014

My LO is 2 weeks old as of yesterday and I feel like I'm losing my mind! As a FTM, I had plenty of people tell me about the newborn stage and how hard it is, but now that I'm living it, it's so much more challenging than I could have ever expected. Everyone keeps telling me to hang in there, it gets easier. But when?

Breastfeeding sucks (no pun intended). I dread going to bed at night because I hate having to wake up to feed him. During the day I go stir crazy from literally sitting in the same spot on the couch all day long in my darkened living room, curtains drawn so I can nurse freely. I hate not having precious spare moments for myself, and having to scramble to eat, pee, brush my teeth etc between feedings.

STMs and those with Sept/early Oct babies...when does it all get better? I'm just having a really hard time adjusting and looking for a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like something is wrong with me for not being happier when this is what I really wanted and struggled to have. :-<

krazyinsane · November 2014

Within two weeks LO will have a growth spurt where it gets a little worse and then it gets better. LO will start being awake more and another 2-4 weeks you'll start getting real smiles. That makes it better.

Getting out for even a half hour a day will help tremendously!

Emerald27 · November 2014

((hugs)) Parenting is really hard, but amazingly rewarding. It doesn't really get easier, just different. You do get more sleep, spend less time nursing. They do grow such that they don't need to be held 24/7, but then they also throw tantrums, draw on the walls and on themselves, try to climb up and jump off of high places, puke in the car, make your heart race and your blood boil.

...and I've heard this only gets more exciting and intense as they grow more, become teenagers, and then eventually make you worry relentlessly as they head off to college or somewhere.

Each stage is different hard, but the snuggles, the "I love you mommy," the giggles and the love are all so worth every minute. It gets different hard, but it's also super fun and you'll feel like you never lived before you had kids. Promise!

vrj0522 · November 2014

Sorry you are having such a hard time! I know that being FTM was extremely hard for me. It was a complete life change and it was hard to adjust to, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. All I can say is that you'll get more used to it as the weeks go by. For me, there was a huge improvement on week 12 and another big improvement when DS was 5 months old. DH was told a little before DS was born that the first 6 months you just power-through and that's what we tried to keep in mind those first few months. It was true for us.

lrobi13 · November 2014

Ftm. Lo is 7 weeks at midnight. Four weeks it got a bit better but that is also when we switched to ff (low supply issues ). He sleeps nice stretches at night but doesn't sleep much during the day. But he isn't fussy either.

It still is hard but we tend to have some good days and some bad ones.

Hang in there. 2 week mark was rough.

rcm98 · November 2014

It gets better! The first two weeks were the hardest for me as a FTM, but now that my LO is 6 weeks I am feeling so much more "normal". My husband and I were just talking tonight about how nobody tells you how difficult and (in my case) depressing the first two weeks are, and that we are so glad to be past that. Hang in there!!!

Littledeer84 · November 2014

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. With DD1 I felt very much the same way. Like Emerald said, I'm not sure it gets easier, but you get used to the new normal. They change so fast but each stage has new challenges. Take it day by day. You will get through it...don't hesitate to talk to your doctor if you continue to feel really bad. Sending you good thoughts!

ariel06 · November 2014

vrj0522 said:
Sorry you are having such a hard time! I know that being FTM was extremely hard for me. It was a complete life change and it was hard to adjust to, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. All I can say is that you'll get more used to it as the weeks go by. For me, there was a huge improvement on week 12 and another big improvement when DS was 5 months old. DH was told a little before DS was born that the first 6 months you just power-through and that's what we tried to keep in mind those first few months. It was true for us.

I totally agree. It takes a while to figure out what works easiest. And as you start getting a little more sleep, everything looks better too.

Lindzoid · November 2014

Find one thing each day your happy or grateful for. Even if it's a shower! Try not to stress on the little things rather focus on the highlights. It will get better....each stage has it's ups and downs. Someday you will look back on this stage and miss it...or miss something about it.
Just remember this won't last forever!

Saragoeswest · November 2014

One thing that has helped me this week (week 5) is meditating on how grateful I am to have LO and to be able to nurse her and rock her in the MOTN. I also take that time to pray for people in my life. This is really improving my attitude.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

Thank you ladies for the support. It really made me feel better to read all your responses. I kind of just needed to vent and I'm so grateful this is a safe place to do so. I don't feel so alone knowing others have powered through the hard stuff and are so much happier now for it. You all are the best! :x

NavyFlyer · November 2014

I'm a FTM, DS born in Sep. I feel like it got a lot better when he was a month old and started taking a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Saved my sanity! You can get a LOT done in 2 hours lol. So now in the morning it's just "make it to naptime!!". Well, I mean I work now but when I was home thats how it was!

Klavanga74 · November 2014

I was so shell shocked when I had my first, so I understand. SHe was NOT an easy baby. She cried all the time, only cat-napped for the first few months and was generally difficult. Add to that that I was just really having a tough time with the loss of my own space and private time (or just the ability to go to the bathroom when I wanted!), it was just rough all around. I had a much easier time adjusting to my second. #3 is a very easy baby and I have more help than I have had in the past (she's asleep on my MOm right now), so that helps. And as PP's have said, each phase comes with it's own joys and difficulties. The issues they deal with as you get older are much harder in a different way - my older two are 10 and 12 - more emotionally taxing. Hang in there and I agree with PP - get out if you can. It will make a difference. And make sure you take the time to get the bare minimum in of what you need. Do you really need a daily shower to feel human? Well, make sure you get it - even if LO has to cry while you do it. I know that might not be at all relaxing for you, but do try to remind yourself that taking care of you will make you a better Mom to LO.

pinkshades05 · November 2014

Chloe is almost 7 weeks and I would say it gets better and easier with each growth spurt. Two months was when it got easier last time with Nat. I was more confident leaving the house by then. This time we were out of the house much sooner. I wish I had better advice but for me giving myself goals to leave the house helped my sanity.

cmac6186 · November 2014

I do find that leaving the house makes me feel better. I also notice that when I'm exhausted is when I get very emotional and feel doomed to be a dairy cow forever. Just getting 20min of sleep after one of those episodes is helpful. Also, DD is 4 weeks today and yesterday and today seemed somewhat easier. Hang in there OP!

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