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February 2015 Moms
Sahara6971
member
~~~Big brother 11.29.05 & Little Brother 6.18.09~~~
Would you be hurt/upset?
Sahara6971
member
I know it's hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes but I will try to explain this the best I can without it getting too long.
I am most likely going to have a scheduled c-section on 2/19. I have it scheduled already, assuming I don't go in to labor earlier w/ the right conditions for a vbac. My mom died shortly after my first son was born. Family was everything to her (and my dad too). My husband's dad was never in the picture and his mom recently passed away. So my dad is the only grand parent left.
I work for my dad. We have a small family business w/ a few part time employees. I am the only full time employee and I run the office from my home.
My dad has had a girlfriend for the past couple of years. She has $$ and likes to travel. Family is not as important to her. She doesn't really include us in her family like I would have hoped. She bought a house in FL (we live in WI) about 2 years ago. She and my dad go down there a few times a year for a week or 2. I told him about the c-section/due date several time so that he wouldn't book a trip then. I asked him to take care of my kids while I am in the hospital. He of course agreed. He loves my boys and they have a really close relationship with him.
Well yesterday he goes "so when do you need me around in February? If I am there from like the 17th to the 24th will that work?" He went on to tell me that he was going to go to FL from January - April and that he would fly back for a few days when the baby is born.
I don't know, I just feel like he should want to be here for me. I am his only daughter and most likely having major surgery. Instead, he is leaving to go on a 4 month vacation and leaving me to run the business for that entire time all while recovering from a c-section. I feel like my family is dwindling down day by day and at times I feel really alone.
If you made it through this, thank you. What would you say/do?
I am most likely going to have a scheduled c-section on 2/19. I have it scheduled already, assuming I don't go in to labor earlier w/ the right conditions for a vbac. My mom died shortly after my first son was born. Family was everything to her (and my dad too). My husband's dad was never in the picture and his mom recently passed away. So my dad is the only grand parent left.
I work for my dad. We have a small family business w/ a few part time employees. I am the only full time employee and I run the office from my home.
My dad has had a girlfriend for the past couple of years. She has $$ and likes to travel. Family is not as important to her. She doesn't really include us in her family like I would have hoped. She bought a house in FL (we live in WI) about 2 years ago. She and my dad go down there a few times a year for a week or 2. I told him about the c-section/due date several time so that he wouldn't book a trip then. I asked him to take care of my kids while I am in the hospital. He of course agreed. He loves my boys and they have a really close relationship with him.
Well yesterday he goes "so when do you need me around in February? If I am there from like the 17th to the 24th will that work?" He went on to tell me that he was going to go to FL from January - April and that he would fly back for a few days when the baby is born.
I don't know, I just feel like he should want to be here for me. I am his only daughter and most likely having major surgery. Instead, he is leaving to go on a 4 month vacation and leaving me to run the business for that entire time all while recovering from a c-section. I feel like my family is dwindling down day by day and at times I feel really alone.
If you made it through this, thank you. What would you say/do?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Would you be hurt/upset?
January Siggy Challenge:
Being able to get out of bed on the first try
Don't get me wrong, I am extremely grateful that he is going to be here to take care of my kids while I am in the hospital. I know from my past two experiences that I will be needing my husband there with me at night especially. All of the hormones raging combined with really missing my mom, and remembering how sick she was in that same hospital really gets to me. Ugh, sorry to be Debbie Downer!
I also feel your pain on this situation. My DH mom is leaving on vaca a week after we have the baby and we just found out his Aunt is going on vaca the week we are due. It bothers me and hurts my feelings that they wouldn't want to be there for my DH! I know baby's don't come on time but still. I hope you figure everything out. Good luck.
Team Purple!!!!
Ps. My scheduled csection is 2/19 too!
I agree with all the PPs though that you definitely have to talk to him about it. Maybe just start out trying to tell him your concerns about there being too much pressure on you during what will be a very stressful time. That way you aren't asking him to change his plans right off, but hopefully he will come to it on his own.
Hopefully you can have a conversation with your dad, maybe he just didn't think about all of the things that he will be needed for. He may be getting poor counsel from his other half and let's be real, sometimes guys just don't see the bigger picture. It sounds like you have a good relationship with him, so hopefully everything goes well!
If all else fails...you know I'm right down the road!! We can be crazy together!
So sorry that you have to deal with this. I don't think it's fair you're left to run the business. You're in your third trimester, have children already, and now you're going to have a C-section and a newborn. That's WAY too much to handle. I'm sad he doesn't realize this and couldn't give up going to FL this year. I did see one pp said to write down your feelings and have him read them. Maybe he just doesn't understand the huge workload and stress this will all put on you and the fact that it is extremely important to you for him to be there for you. Best wishes to you.
Married 9/10/11 * BFP 6/9/14 * EDD 1/25/15
Yes, I would be hurt by this and frustrated. I also think you got some really good suggestions. From how you described your dad, it sounds like he would be receptive to you telling him how you're feeling and also telling him what you think you need, including time frames and business particulars. What does your husband think you should do?
FreeButterfly70
thank you! I will.
BTW, just saw your bump pic. Could you be any cuter?!? I think not.