I know this will sound horrible but I feel so uncomfortable when other people hold my little boy.

jnaharo · November 2014

It gets even worse when people demand to hold him. Specifically my husbands dad. He really gets under my skin and my husband told me that I can't deny him from holding him. I just want to hold my baby and I really don't trust other people to hold or watch him. Is anyone else feeling like this with their new addition? :-/ I don't trust anyone except my husband with him.

lrobi13 · November 2014

I'm the opposite. I love it when I get a break and others hold my baby.

Waterlilly11 · November 2014

I feel like this 100%. This is my second baby... I bought a ktan so when I'm around others they are less inclined to ask.

Emerald27 · November 2014

I feel the same way. It's very hard to let others hold him, and my heart beats faster, I feel tense, I discover that I'm rocking (weird...) back and forth as though I'm consoling him when I'm not.

It helps me to remind myself that the arms he's in love him. And I set the boundary that if he fusses or cries I will take him back to console him/feed him. He mostly sleeps while others hold him anyway.

Follow your heart and your instincts. They're most likely right! Our bodies and hearts don't let us go far from our babies, because they need us to survive. Nature is pretty cool.

victoria+james · November 2014

You aren't alone! I feel more strongly about some people than others. When my FIL was here I would get oddly upset when he would call my son a "pretty boy" or repeat his name over and over. I never said anything but it made me cringe so hard.

Aurora1181 · November 2014

Right there with ya.. I can feel myself get tense when someone other than me or DH hold my twins. Lots of people have offered to come help with them, and it especially makes me nervous when someone else is trying to give them a bottle for some reason.

staryb · November 2014

Other people were insisting on holding my baby within hours of her birth so I kind of got used to it quick. It bothered me at first but now I actually get annoyed when no one wants to hold her so I can get a break. The only time it really bothers me is when she's crying and I know she's hungry or needs her diaper changed and everyone is passing her around. DH's family is bad about this but then no one wants to hold her later so I can eat, it's very frustrating.

Dani0329 · November 2014

I don't care about holding, but my Dad came over after I only got 2 hours of sleep the previous night to help out since DH had overnight duty. I had a hard time leaving them downstairs to go to bed even though I trust them completely.

It was wonderful though! I slept 10-5, pumped, slept another hour and feel like a new woman!

I say take advantage!

hspeed22 · November 2014

In the first couple weeks I had to restrain myself from turning into a crazy person every time someone else held her. But we had waaay too much company in the beginning. It's gotten a little bit easier, but I think it's normal to want your baby to yourself! We worked hard for these beautiful bundles of joy!

griffers · November 2014

I feel this way when H's parents hold him. I know it's not rational and they love him but it makes me cringe. I think it might have something to do with me feeling like I wasn't being respected as a parent basically since their first visit with him in the hospital, but that's a whole other story. I kind of just let them hold him and find something else to keep me occupied.

ashie0610 · November 2014

PurpleHippo19 said:
I felt like this a lot with my first, and I've felt like this a few times with this one. It's almost more of an instinctual urge than just a preference. Which makes me think it's mostly my hormones or something.

Not to go against your husband, but yes, I feel like you can deny your FIL holding your baby.

I was pretty much going to say this.

What's also interesting to me is that I hate how other people's scents get on him after they hold him.

shannonshare · November 2014

@keelyd‌ completely understand how you feel...I can't stand it when people think the baby can't possibly be hungry yet and won't give her back to me. Then by the time I can get her to feed, she is melting down and has a hard time focusing to feed.

slsl509 · November 2014

I too think it's instinctual. I clearly remember about 6 weeks PP with my DD telling my husband that if anyone hurt her, including him, I would kill them. And I was serious and also a tiny bit tipsy from a mimosa.

I'm a little less wound up this time around.

pnwlover12 · November 2014

ashie0610 said:

PurpleHippo19 said:
I felt like this a lot with my first, and I've felt like this a few times with this one. It's almost more of an instinctual urge than just a preference. Which makes me think it's mostly my hormones or something.

Not to go against your husband, but yes, I feel like you can deny your FIL holding your baby.
I was pretty much going to say this.

What's also interesting to me is that I hate how other people's scents get on him after they hold him.

I still feel like this with my 3yo. After being at my ILs for a few hours, she will come home and just reek of grandma. She always gets a bath after going there. I don't want to smell my MIL when I'm snuggling my kid.

angeltennis3 · November 2014

I am ok with close friends and family holding her, but I rarely offer to let someone hold her. Really only grandparents at this point. If a close friend asks, I will let them, but don't offer it up.

It does piss me off when my FIL is holding her and she starts to fuss. I ask to take her to feed her, and he takes a minute or two to let her go. I think some of it is they don't 100% support my choice to try to breast feed, and he is hoping I give him the formula bottle (because we are supplementing) before I try nursing. Sorry, but no. And honestly I prefer DH or I give her the formula bottle...I think it's my way of keeping some control since I am still a little tender about our breastfeeding struggles...but that's a personal issue.

teedaalee · November 2014

Hmmmm…are you and your husband on the same page with this? The most important thing is that you guys are on the same page about it!

teedaalee0712

rosalie12 · November 2014

I understand how you feel and am embarrassed to say that I cringe the whole time my in laws hold my daughter. I think it stems from many hard feelings before she was born. I'm trying to push those feelings aside and try to give them the benefit of the doubt - but they won't be alone with her anytime soon. I am fighting the mama bear urges with them.

Mewwwwws · November 2014

keelyd said:
We haven't had too many visitors, but I definitely felt this way about my MIL when she was here -- mostly bc she wanted to take him the moment he unlatched from me constantly and didn't want to believe he was hungry again when he'd fuss. She kind of Nader me feel selfish for wanting to hold him at times he wasn't eating when she was here, and that pissed me off.

@keelyd‌

I feel the same. At one point baby was crying , I knew she was hungry , it'd also been two or three hours since last feed , I was engorged , and I wanted feed her. MIL was holding her and didn't want to give her yet, saying "let's Just wait a minute ... Let's just wait and see". I kid you not I saw white flash before my eyes and I was hot with anger. I knew enough too just stop and let it pass before I said something inappropriate. I think it was an instinctual need to tend to her combined with exacerbation over feeling like they didn't believe that I could possibly know when she was and wasnt hungry. But I knew she was hungry and would escalate cause no amount of rocking will calm her when she's hungry and within a minute or two MIL gave her to me . Now the same thing happens but when it does I will physically take my baby away to feed her.

Mewwwwws · November 2014

I should say though that my MIL also tries to hold the LO in order to give us a break and let DH and I eat. I don't want to make it out like she tried to keep him from me on purpose- that part is my own inner struggles that I need to work on, not hers.

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I know this will sound horrible but I feel so uncomfortable when other people hold my little boy.

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