MIRACLES HAPPEN AFTER IVF

Saintelizabeth · November 2014

@theblessingofababy first off, thank you for apologizing on the IFV board and here.

Since you stated that you are new to the Bump I have a few suggestions that will help you navigate your way around the boards. I would suggest “lurking” for a little while which means that you would read through threads, but back off on posting anything until you’ve got a good feel for how things operate. Lurk on boards that would pertain to you like this board, the trimester boards and your birth month board (BMB). Make sure to especially read any important sticky posts located at the top of the boards. Again, it’s good that you apologized on the IFV board, but like some of the other girls have said I would refrain from replying. The best thing to do is apologize and bow out. Once you feel more comfortable on boards where you think you may belong to like here and your BMB then feel free to intro and begin contributing.

theblessingofababy · November 2014

Saintelizabeth said:
@theblessingofababy first off, thank you for apologizing on
the IFV board and here.

Since you stated that you are new to the Bump I have a few
suggestions that will help you navigate your way around the boards. I would suggest “lurking” for a little while
which means that you would read through threads, but back off on posting
anything until you’ve got a good feel for how things operate. Lurk on boards
that would pertain to you like this board, the trimester boards and your birth
month board (BMB). Make sure to especially read any important sticky posts
located at the top of the boards. Again,
it’s good that you apologized on the IFV board, but like some of the other
girls have said I would refrain from replying. The best thing to do is apologize
and bow out. Once you feel more comfortable on boards where you think you may
belong to like here and your BMB then feel free to intro and begin
contributing.

@Saintelizabeth‌
Thank you...going to spend more time looking around here. Your honesty is appreciated. Blessings to you.

theblessingofababy · November 2014

AMShark said:
Most of the ladies on the IF boards have been through a lot together. Sometimes, we can be very sensitive, and defensive, but we're also a great group that can be very supportive.

I have seen new members that start off on the wrong foot with their first post, but then stick around, and become part of the community. My advice would be to stick around, and check out some posts to get a feel for the "flavor" of the board, then hop in when you have something to add.

The IF Veterans board is a group of special ladies, some of whom have really been through the wringer - and I think a lot of the reaction you've gotten is a result of ladies being protective of IFV. But, in my experience, people around here don't really hold grudges.

I think we're all speaking more of the same language now, and if you want to, you shoudl be able to hang around here and join us.

@AMShark‌ hello and thanxx for your input. I do understand how sensitive the topic of IVF is...I have become close to many members on other sites as well. We all go through so much to become mothers...I just want us all to experience joy...call me a dreamer but I still believe in miracles no matter what the circumstances are. I've had my days of feeling completely numb and hopeless and it's not a good feeling. I'm going to look around, read more and learn more about some of the forums...again, thank you so much for being kind and reaching out

MrsC430 · November 2014

theblessingofababy said:
"So much for inspiring others."

"...call me me a dreamer but I still believe in miracles no matter what the circumstances are."

@theblessingofababy‌ Your apology was respectable, and I don't think you intentionally meant to hurt anyone's feelings. However, the point that I feel is being missed is that many of the women here & over on IFV (myself included) physically cannot get pregnant without treatment. The only "miracle" for me (with my lack of tubes) is science.

We thankfully just welcomed our twin girls on 11/2, but it was a hard, ugly battle including surgeries, OHSS, & 5 embryo transfers. So many tears. Knowing that science was our only answer (and that a natural miracle was impossible for us) weighed heavily on me, particularly after failed cycles. The last thing I wanted to hear during our struggles was to hold out hope, or pray for a "natural" miracle, as it could never happen here.

Again, I think your intentions were in the right place, and I'm not looking to drag out any negativity. I just think it's important to see the situation from all perspectives before offering advice.

chucktgirl · November 2014

Ugh. Congratulations to the OP. I hope you have a healthy, happy pregnancy that results in a perfect THB.

With that being said, please do not suggest to me, or any other IF strangers that we should rely on a miraculous blessing to solve our IF problems. It took me over five years of IF struggles to get an embryo to stick this long (22wks) and I'm still paranoid every single day that I will lose it. SCIENCE made this pregnancy happen. Your god did not grant me any miracles each of the other four times I've had an embryo growing inside of me, only to lose them each in devastating manners. Right before this pregnancy (my FIFTH IVF!), I, too, was surprised by a natural pregnancy early this year. It was awesome. I also lost that pregnancy at 12 weeks.

I do wish you well, but please don't count your miracles before they hatch... and don't prosthelytize to women you have not yet met.

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