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April 2015 Moms
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Lurker that needs etiquette advice.

futuremrstarterfuturemrstarter member
in April 2015 Moms
I am expecting my second child in April. When we found out in July and told some close friends one mentioned doing a shower and I told her I appreciated her offer but my family doesn't really do showers for the second baby. We recently found out we're having a girl (our first is a boy) and another friend said she wanted to do a "sprinkle" since this baby is the opposite gender and it's been six years since our first was born. I explained my thoughts and she insisted that she wanted to do something. She asked if I had any other friends who might like to help and I mentioned my other friend (who she doesn't know). She asked if I would check with her to see if she wants to help, but I feel uncomfortable asking. But I also worry that it will hurt her feelings since she offered first and I turned her down. I'm always concerned about hurting feelings but I don't want to be tacky. Thoughts?
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Re: Lurker that needs etiquette advice.

  • tigerlily25tigerlily25 member
    Since you turned down the first friend, I would politely decline the second. If they really want to get you something for the baby, I'm sure that they will do so anyway. You could always have a celebration without gifts to celebrate your second pregnancy after the baby is born (Sip and See)

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  • knjzacherknjzacher member
    I would decline.
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  • JJBodenJJBoden member
    6 years later you'll need some new stuff.... And it's a girl. I think it's fine if your friends want to throw you a sprinkle. Why not? ( I know the people on the shower board would disagree) Seems like a few of your friends think it's a good idea too. No idea on how to talk to friend #2... Maybe tell her you're more open to the idea of a sprinkle know that you know it's a girl.
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  • catlover790catlover790 member
    Personally I think if there is a group of people who genuinely want to throw another shower/sprinkle I really don't see a problem with it. Those people will most likely buy you gifts regardless. I don't like the rationale that it's a girl/boy or "it's been X years" as a reason for having another shower though.

    It sounds like you aren't really comfortable with it so I would decline any offers since you already did before. If you accept a shower now from another friend it would look bad in my opinion.
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  • Mel&John2013Mel&John2013 member
    It's personal preference. But in general, I'm against 2nd showers. I have a friend who keeps saying she wants to throw me a "sprinkle" for this new baby, even tho I JUST had a shower for my son a little over a year ago, and I've had to say no many times. I suggested a lunch (no gifts) to get together with friends and celebrate new baby and that seemed to gain some traction. Maybe you could do that?
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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member
    I would turn down the second offer too.  Like others have said, maybe get together with each friend for lunch or something special.
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  • palm513palm513 member
    I have decided to have a second shower with this baby (The people around me are the type to through a shower for a pregnant fish. And were quite upset that I refused a shower with my middle child which was a boy just like my twins before him)... If you feel awkward about having a shower then decline. If you have actually changed your mind casually bring it up to the other friend don't just ask but try to get her to volunteer.

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  • clover28clover28 member
    I second the recommendation of a Sip and See.  It sounds fun.  Plus, you could drink if you wanted.
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  • taramantertaramanter member
    My mom and mother in law are throwing me a second shower but my daughter is 9 so it's basically like starting over. My sister in law is having twin boys this week with an almost 2 year old girl at home- she didn't want any kind of shower so my mother in law set up a sprinkle for her where everyone just mailed her diapers and gifts the last few months. I would say do what you're comfortable with or ask your friend to make gifts optional because you could still have a party to celebrate without all the gifts if your family doesn't do that.
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