Just saw a Facebook announcement for a July due date.

chertmm · November 2014

A girl I went to high school with just posted a FB announcement for her pregnancy....she is due in July. I am 11 weeks and still feel its too early to share with anyone other than close friends and family. I am not sure why this irritates me, but it does. Perhaps, I feel irrationally miffed that she announced before I did even though my baby will be here first.....but I don't think that is the problem. At most, perhaps 5%. More of a fleeting thought. She is obviously excited and I am happy for her. But, I can't help but think of all the heartbreaking posts I have seen on this board of loss. Not that I think she will MC, although it is always a possibility I would would truly hate for her to have to deal with that publically. More importantly, I think about that may have suffered a loss before they ever announced who may see her post. I have a tendency to overthink things and be overly sensitive, and I found myself in tears last night worrying that a mutual friend of ours (who MC a few months ago) might see her it. I am not sure what I expect from posting this; it's more just a way to process and share my thoughts.

marijaa333 · November 2014

My cousin told me his wife was pregnant when they were all of four weeks along. I was already eight weeks at that point but I didn't even volunteer the news to him, even though we're very close. The idea of posting on Facebook, back then, or now, was and is a totally foreign concept to me; I use Facebook to share an article here and there but not for much else.

In other words, there will be as many "right" ways to announce as there are pregnant women, and timing is naturally one of the decisions that will factor into your announcement.

Perhaps some part of you wishes you could share your excitement with the world, but another part is being careful and taking into consideration wider consequences of announcing early (offending others, dealing with explanation in the unlikely event of a loss, etc.). That is totally normal. You're doing the right thing by not telling, if that's what you feel is the best choice for *you* on balance. It doesn't mean the decisions of others won't affect you, especially given the crazy hormones circulating in your system!

Ballet80 · November 2014

That is really early, I know some people get really excited and want to share the news with everyone. I found out I was pregnant a week after one of my coworkers announced to the office she was pregnant, she MC 5 weeks later. I have told all of my close friends and family, I will probably not announce on Facebook til late December or January. I have had a MC before and I just like to play it safe, plus I like keeping this private for a while.

jennadesigns · November 2014

I have a friend who announced her pregnancy on facebook when she was about six weeks along. The very next day she had to post an announcement stating she had a miscarriage. For that reason, I haven't made any announcement. I'm not sure when I'll feel comfortable, but even now, knowing I'm having a genetically healthy little girl, I'm still not ready to put it out there. You'll know when you're ready. Trust your gut.

epearlw · November 2014

I announced early after some thought. I never thought I could conceive. I wanted this child to be recognized and honored even if I miscarried. This may be my only child, and my only pregnancy - that was the decision that was best for me. My way of honoring life as I believe it begins at conception.

Pintobean39 · November 2014

That doesn't bother me so much because I was once oblivious to what can happen and some people it doesn't bother them. To each their own.

Now the girl in Motherhood Maternity that was due in July and had to come get clothes because she was "showing" already I really had to SMH. I think she was 4 1/2 weeks, the damn pee stick wasn't dry yet.

I guess that's what makes this world go around, their are all different kinds out there.

PlayboyMommy · November 2014

To each his/her own. My friend announced all 3 of hers before the stick dried. I don't begrudge her that.
Since having a loss myself, I've become more aware that sometimes people just want to celebrate their baby even if it's early on. That's okay. I'm sure they are aware that loss happens and are willing to deal with it should the unthinkable happen. Not everyone is comfortable with that, but it's okay if they are. Loss shouldn't be a taboo subject, and each life should be celebrated if that is what the couple chooses. There is no rule that says you can't announce until x amount of weeks--it's when you're ready.

rels09 · November 2014

I agree with @PlayboyMommy‌. Not sure why it would bother anyone else for someone to announce their pregnancy before they themselves would be comfortable doing so. There is no rule about this. On the chance that she does experience a loss, that will be her issue to deal with and not yours.

MrsKindy40 · November 2014

I cringe when people post so early. I think having had a m/c makes me more weird about it now. My best friend posted her announcement at 5 weeks and luckily nothing went wrong. It was hard enough having to untell the few people we told. Let alone doing it publicly.

rakle99 · November 2014

Last Feb I announced my pregnancy on FB early because the doctor didn't think it was going to make it and I wanted the support from my community. The love and encouragement I got from posting my situation and after I did end up losing it, is what helped me get through it.

With that being said, I have a cousin who announced her pregnancy as soon as she POAS and the same week had 'maternity photos' taken with her husband. She was seriously overweight because she and her husband lived on the McDonald's diet, and she posted all these pictures of him holding her fat. I ROFLMAO on that one. And majorly side eyed.

Aimothy · November 2014

The first time, I got to announce our pregnancy the same day that I announced we had lost our babies. I was waiting until I was safe, but never got to that point. It was still important to me to let it be known that we did have babies.

This time, I waited until I was almost 12 weeks, and still had to go back and make another loss announcement.

I don't regret announcing so early. Of course, I wish that I hadn't had losses, but I got support that I needed both times.

It may not work for you, but I wouldn't worry about what someone else does. Hopefully, you'll be supportive if they do have to make that loss announcement.

tashad18 · November 2014

There have been a few people I know do Facebook announcements already and they are due in late June. It is personal preference. I don't have an issue with it. Some people would rather people know to have the support if something does go wrong.

littlecookie · November 2014

Meh. You never really know what will happen. A friend of mine announced after first tri. Then lost her sweet LO a few weeks later. It can happen after those first few weeks. Women with losses (myself included) have to deal with announcements regardless of the mother's timing of her announcement. I don't think it being early in someone's pregnancy makes it any harder to see while you're trying after loss.

Snapdragon750 · November 2014

rakle99 said:
Last Feb I announced my pregnancy on FB early because the doctor didn't think it was going to make it and I wanted the support from my community. The love and encouragement I got from posting my situation and after I did end up losing it, is what helped me get through it.
With that being said, I have a cousin who announced her pregnancy as soon as she POAS and the same week had 'maternity photos' taken with her husband. She was seriously overweight because she and her husband lived on the McDonald's diet, and she posted all these pictures of him holding her fat. I ROFLMAO on that one. And majorly side eyed.

Imagining those pictures is making me lol so hard!!

Ndracer · November 2014

shmeell25 said:
See I struggle with this. On one hand, I haven't announced yet and won't until about 16 weeks. That's just when I feel comfortable. On the other hand, I am open about my loss and feel that if more women were open, maybe it would reduce the stigma behind miscarriage and pregnancy loss. While I personally wouldn't announce that early, my reasoning is a little hypocritical. I think mostly I envy the naïveté of the women who announce before the pee stick dries who assume a positive pregnancy test equals a healthy baby.

This is it for me. I don't care when someone announces. I just envy those who can go into their pregnancy with not a care in the world and not constantly fearful of what may happen.

dj99 · November 2014

I agree, that's way too early. I haven't posted on FB yet. I will probably post after my 18 week scan.

samiamagirl · November 2014

I think this is such a personal decision. I get where you're coming from with the social media announcing because that always, to me, feels slightly impersonal- you know? But telling friends and family as early as you want is completely up to you and your partner.

My husband and I started telling select people we were pregnant as early as 5 weeks, with the knowledge something could very well happen but these were the people we would seek support from if it did. We finally decided to "tell the world" aka social media at 9 weeks after we had an amazing appointment and the doctor told us the likelihood of something happening was pretty slim. But that was US. Everyone else needs to make decisions based on their family, emotional, and personal needs.

gsancho · November 2014

I definitely side eye those who announce way early...maybe b/c I also feel like they'll be an AW about their pregnancy, which isn't my cup of tea. But I don't think about it much past the side-eye moment. Like others said, to each their own.

lgsdesigner · November 2014

It really depends on who she has on FB. If it's only close friends and relatives (people she would normally tell early, and wouldn't also mind sharing if she DID have a m/c), then I see no issue.

However-- if she has like 1,000 random friends, then maybe it wasn't her brighest idea.

rakle99 · November 2014

Snapdragon750 said:

Last Feb I announced my pregnancy on FB early because the doctor didn't think it was going to make it and I wanted the support from my community. The love and encouragement I got from posting my situation and after I did end up losing it, is what helped me get through it.
With that being said, I have a cousin who announced her pregnancy as soon as she POAS and the same week had 'maternity photos' taken with her husband. She was seriously overweight because she and her husband lived on the McDonald's diet, and she posted all these pictures of him holding her fat. I ROFLMAO on that one. And majorly side eyed.
Imagining those pictures is making me lol so hard!!

If someone can teach me how to post a photo here I'll post a couple. With the heads blurred out of course.

KellyFM522 · November 2014

I don't care when you post, but pleeeeease don't post a picture of your pee stick saying "Just found out!!!" Not the way you want to tell your family or SO. I have seen this happen at least twice in the last year.

rakle99 · November 2014

gsancho · November 2014

@rakle99 Aww...poor thing. They must have been so excited, though. He's holding her belly the way I hold mine after too much queso.

ETA: Now I want queso

KellyFM522 · November 2014

@rakle99‌ our sweet little food baby.

bbmcblack · November 2014

I chose to get off of FB about a year ago because I couldn't handle one more FB pregnancy announcement, especially from people who were married for 30 seconds! After years of infertility, MC's, and failed IVF's, it was seriously messing with my emotionally well-being. I think a may re-activate my account in the new year, but I don't think I'll ever announce. My whole experience has made me a more private, humble person and I sympathize for other FB friends who may be going through the same thing. I understand wanting to shout it from the rooftops, but it's just not for me.

MallyJM128 · November 2014

I personally wouldn't post that early but it doesn't bother me when someone does. We waited until 17 weeks with DS, and I'm not sure when we will announce on FB this time.

I will say this..a girl I went to college with announced the day she and her husband found out. Thankfully she has had a healthy pregnancy, but I feel like she's been pregnant forever! I thought about her the other day and went to see when she delivered and what the sex was..she's only 32 weeks! What the heck!

rakle99 · November 2014

@ramy3 I may not agree with you, but I don't want to post something that makes someone so uncomfortable. I deleted them.

@chertmm sorry for the thread highjack!

robotgal · November 2014

I have a friend whose wife posted (with professional announcement photos) when the due date was 10 months out. (I'm still scratching my head on the math on that one - it must've been the day she POAS, near the end of the current month, and her due date must've been the start of the "tenth" month.)

Several weeks later they announced the loss. At almost 15 weeks I'm still nervous about sharing beyond immediate family because I wouldn't want to share a loss with a broad community, but different strokes for different folks.

fitnhealthy1 · November 2014

It seems kind of attention grabby to me. Just my personal opinion. Even with my first pregnancy, which was a miscarriage, I didn't tell close friends until like 10 weeks. Unfortunately I miscarried at 11 weeks. I guess if a miscarriage does happen to anyone who announced early, it will spread info about miscarriage. Most people no nothing about pregnancy loss until it happens to them, so I guess that's the bright side.

chertmm · November 2014

GFJ48 said:

A girl I went to high school with just posted a FB announcement for her pregnancy....she is due in July. I am 11 weeks and still feel its too early to share with anyone other than close friends and family. I am not sure why this irritates me, but it does. Perhaps, I feel irrationally miffed that she announced before I did even though my baby will be here first.....but I don't think that is the problem. At most, perhaps 5%. More of a fleeting thought. She is obviously excited and I am happy for her. But, I can't help but think of all the heartbreaking posts I have seen on this board of loss. Not that I think she will MC, although it is always a possibility I would would truly hate for her to have to deal with that publically. More importantly, I think about that may have suffered a loss before they ever announced who may see her post. I have a tendency to overthink things and be overly sensitive, and I found myself in tears last night worrying that a mutual friend of ours (who MC a few months ago) might see her it. I am not sure what I expect from posting this; it's more just a way to process and share my thoughts.
I didn't read this whole thread because I'm annoyed that you're annoyed. Who gives a shit when someone shares THEIR news. We announced my pregnancy at 10 weeks. And my cousin is due in July and announced hers. This post is gross.

Hmmm, Sorry you feel this post is "gross." You are welcome to scroll past it. I personally gathered a lot of information that has allowed me to see the situation form some different perspectives. Most responses were thoughtful and allowed me to consider others' points of view. Other responses made me chuckle, and that was nice too. Like I said in the original post, I shared my thoughts as a way for me to process and figure out why I was *admittedly* irrationally irritated. I accomplished that. I never judged you you for announcing at 10 weeks. I think you are being irrational by taking this personally.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

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2undertwo2bee · November 2014

I posted at 4 weeks. Honestly I look at it like this. That child is important to me if i miscarry or not to me it's still my child and I want their life no matter how short to be celebrated. I think it's crazy it bothers you so much. I would be happy for her and wish her well.

bbmcblack · November 2014

viola27 said:

bbmcblack said:
I chose to get off of FB about a year ago because I couldn't handle one more FB pregnancy announcement, especially from people who were married for 30 seconds! After years of infertility, MC's, and failed IVF's, it was seriously messing with my emotionally well-being. I think a may re-activate my account in the new year, but I don't think I'll ever announce. My whole experience has made me a more private, humble person and I sympathize for other FB friends who may be going through the same thing. I understand wanting to shout it from the rooftops, but it's just not for me.
I recently received a less than thrilled response from a family member about my pregnancy. I can only attribute it to the fact that I have been married "30 seconds". Id just like to remind you, from a fellow IFer, you don't know how long someone was trying or what they've been through.

I see your point, sorry. I should have said something more like "trying for 30 seconds" since I know that was the case.

Ndracer · November 2014

@robotpcr‌ I'm sorry you had to have that experience. I'm sure she was trying to be nice and may think she knows what's it like. But I don't think anyone knows the pain until they go through it.
My cousin and I both had IVF last year two days apart. Both got pregnant. I miscarried. Her pregnancy was a constant reminder of what I lost. It was hard at first but as her son has gotten older it's been easier. Of course I'm pregnant now too so that may be helping. Hopefully it will get easier for you too.

PlayboyMommy · November 2014

Aren't all fb baby announcements by their very nature AWish? At 5 weeks or 15, the point is to share the info and reap the accolades lol.

jraeohyeaaa · November 2014

viola27 said:

bbmcblack said:
I chose to get off of FB about a year ago because I couldn't handle one more FB pregnancy announcement, especially from people who were married for 30 seconds! After years of infertility, MC's, and failed IVF's, it was seriously messing with my emotionally well-being. I think a may re-activate my account in the new year, but I don't think I'll ever announce. My whole experience has made me a more private, humble person and I sympathize for other FB friends who may be going through the same thing. I understand wanting to shout it from the rooftops, but it's just not for me.
I recently received a less than thrilled response from a family member about my pregnancy. I can only attribute it to the fact that I have been married "30 seconds". Id just like to remind you, from a fellow IFer, you don't know how long someone was trying or what they've been through.

I got a response like that from a friend of mine! It really hurt and took me awhile to get over it and decide that she just didn't know what she was talking about. I was like, excuse me sorry that my husband and I didn't date since the 7th grade like you and your annoying husband.

Poppy715 · November 2014

I was totally that person last time. DH and I were do excited. We didn't do pics but we both posted "I'm going to be a mommy/daddy" at the same time. I think we were 6 weeks. I had no idea the percentage of pg's that ended in loss. TB open my eyes to that so quickly. Even after that I thought we were safe. We passed first tri and celebrated V-day. You just never know. My whole outlook on pg is different now.

I totally agree its AW-y but most people are just excited. I think lots of people just have little knowledge of the high rate of losses and how awful it is to "untell" people. I do envy the naïveté and the pregnancy is magical mentality. That's gone for me now. It's still amazing but in my world it's terrifying. It's not full of the amazing hope it was before having a loss. I totally agree about people being Aw-y about their whole pg. I had one girl announce at 5 ish weeks and then every single post from then on was of centered. It was obnoxious. She got the only show me life events option.

lindsey85d · November 2014

Go on Instagram and look up the hashtag #july2015 , it's crazy how many people annouce so early.

SassyPants150 · November 2014

PlayboyMommy said:
Aren't all fb baby announcements by their very nature AWish? At 5 weeks or 15, the point is to share the info and reap the accolades lol.

I wouldn't say reap the accolades. I use Facebook because we have a variety of social circles from multitudes if volunteering, jobs, community participation, and the list goes on. We personally told family and close friends and let FB do the rest so everyone knew all at once.

LimaD · November 2014

It's up to each woman when she wants to announce her own pregnancy. When I lost my baby this summer one of the things that bothered me was that I never got to share the exciting news with people I care about. I had to tell my parents I was pregnant by telling them I was having a miscarriage. There wasn't excitement, only heartbreak. I hated that no one got to celebrate that precious life with me before he or she was gone.

This pregnancy, I thought I'd wait until maybe 20 wks to announce because as stupid as it sounds I felt like I'd be "jinxing it" by announcing sooner. I changed my mind and announced at 10 wks. It's a hard thing to choose joy instead of fear, and that was one way I was able to do that.

gsancho · November 2014

Am I the only one that doesn't think 10w is too early? A little earlier than the norm, yes...but I think announcing on social media at 4 weeks versus 10 is pretty different. Either way, everyone has their own reason for if/when to share, so whatever...I just don't think 10w is too early, if that's what you decide.

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Just saw a Facebook announcement for a July due date.

Re: Just saw a Facebook announcement for a July due date.

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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Want a personalized experience?

Just saw a Facebook announcement for a July due date.

Re: Just saw a Facebook announcement for a July due date.

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!