Intro! 5wks4d. Excited but terrified. When did you announce?

Rahxy · November 2014

Hello ladies! I don't really know where to start here, but I guess I'll just jump into it.

My husband and I found out we were pregnant on his birthday (May 23rd) of this year. This was our first pregnancy, and we were so thrilled. Our life was perfect. We told our families and some close friends, and I could not have been happier! We lost that baby on the 17th of June. It was absolutely the worst, most painful experience of my life. We cried, we mourned, and we tried to move on. I still think about my little piggy everyday, and it's very bittersweet.

Moving on to November! Yesterday (November 8th), it was 5am and I hadn't fallen asleep. I just haven't been able to sleep this week and I had no idea why! I just felt off. I *KNEW* I wasn't pregnant, but here I am lying in bed, thinking I really need to pee, and I remember I have a pregnancy test from a few months back. So I thought, why the hell not?

Well let me tell you, ladies, I did NOT get the answer I thought I was going to get! POSITIVE? I was in shock! If I had thought I was pregnant, I would have woken DH up for it. So here I am, shaking in the bathroom, totally freaking out. I was in total denial! DH skipped work and bought some digital tests, and positive again!

IDK what to say! I'm ecstatic. I can't wait to experience this pregnancy, and even though I'm scared (As I'm sure we all are), I know this one is going to go well. I'm trying to stay positive. I'm GOING to stay positive!

With our first pregnancy earlier this year, we wanted to wait to tell people. But we told our families and our closest friends around the 5th or 6th week. After we lost it..people kept telling us we should have waited to tell people. And they would tell us to wait to tell people 'next time'. I understand that, I do. But I wouldn't have made it through that M/C if I was trying to hide it from people. And god, I would hate to announce a pregnancy by telling your loved ones it's gone. So we're telling people early this time. If something, by some crazy chance, does go wrong, I want to have enjoyed my pregnancy with the people I love. I want to be public, and talk to people about it, and be excited.

Am I the only one who feels that way? When did/will you announce that you're pregnant?

Sorry about the long, sloppy post! Feeling really anxious this morning, and just needed to get that off my chest.

RedCherry1109 · November 2014

I am so sorry for your loss! Congrats too! We told our parents and siblings right away but waited to tell everyone else after the 12 week mark. That was when I had my first appointment and got to see the baby's heartbeat. I was okay with telling some people because I knew I would need the support of something did happen.

Rahxy · November 2014

When I had my m/c, I hadn't even been able to have my first OB visit, so I saw an OB at a specialty clinic nearby. He was great, and said that with future pregnancies, it might be a good idea to go in more frequently in the first few weeks, have my levels monitored, and have an early ultrasound.

That sounds great to me, and was surprising to hear. Did your doctor suggest anything like that? I feel anxious waiting until 10-12 weeks to hear a heartbeat, as I never got to hear one with my last pregnancy. I feel like once I can hear it, I'll feel a lot safer.

(Sorry for the off-topic ramble! This site saved me during my loss earlier this year, so I guess I get too comfortable and ramble-y when I'm here!)

Congrats btw! 14 weeks, that's great!

RedCherry1109 · November 2014

Thank you! I didn't see they Dr. earlier because I was not having an problems at that time and I have had one Healthy pregnancy since my loss. It's good that your dr. Is willing to see you early!

carlsonbaby2014 · November 2014

So sorry for your loss ((((hugs))))). Congratulations on this pregnancy and welcome!! I think you'll find that everyone is different when it comes to their comfort level with announcing their pregnancy. It's something my H and I discussed a lot and if it had been entirely up to me we wouldn't have announced at all - to anyone - until 20 weeks! But together we decided 14 weeks was good. We took our time telling friends and family in person and didn't announce on FB until I was about 24 weeks. That's just where our comfort level was. Good luck deciding what's right for you!!

carlsonbaby2014 · November 2014

Oops I meant to mention that I combatted the anxiety of telling people by making use of my home Doppler. I'd often listen to the hb in the morning if I knew we'd be sharing the news with someone that day. That helped me a lot

. I got the Doppler around 12 weeks.

KikiCohen · November 2014

Welcome and congrats!

With my first pregnancy, we announced after we saw the baby's heartbeat b/c we thought we were safe. When we lost that baby a few weeks later, we had to "untell" everyone. We received soooo much support. As hard as it was to have everyone know, I couldn't imagine suffering through it alone.

With DS, we told our families and close friends right away. We were going to wait until the 2nd tri to post it on FB, but I had a bleeding scare around 10 weeks. All I could think about while we awaited an U/S was that if something terrible happened, we never got the chance to celebrate that baby with everyone. When the U/S showed a healthy baby, we announced that day.

With this pregnancy, we were going to wait until my U/S (on Tuesday) and then buy a "Big Brother" shirt for DS. Well I have been too sick to hide it, so we ended up spilling the beans on Halloween to our families. We haven't decided when to announce on FB and to friends just yet.

FWIW- There's no right or wrong time. Unfortunately, there's no "safe zone". You just have to decide what feels right to you.

mrsjg2013 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your previous loss. Congrats on this new LO and welcome to the board.

In reference to your question about being monitored early- After my first loss, my OB didn't want to proceed any differently than we did with the first pregnancy. It wasn't until after my second loss that I saw a specialist to monitor betas and have early ultrasounds.

For this pregnancy, MH and I decided to tell right away with those closest to us including immediate family and very close friends. They have helped us through each of our previous losses. We've gone back and forth about when to "go public," and have finally decided on announcing on FB at 12 weeks. Maybe because this is the fourth time I've been pregnant in the last year, but it's getting harder to hide by bloat/bump already. I'm looking forward to not having to worry about that anymore! Also, we've decided not to "What if" this pregnancy, so we're happy to share in our joy because this LO will be joining our family here on earth.

Rahxy · November 2014

How much was your doppler? I think those are a great tool, but I definitely don't think I'm ballsy enough to use one before I hear a heartbeat in the Drs office. (I have some friends who bought dopplers and would use them and use them for weeks until they could hear the heartbeat. I would be a mess!)

I think it's great when people can keep their baby their own little secret until further in their pregnancy.

I bet it's an amazing feeling! I just know I couldn't last that long, LOL! I'm the type of person who gets a new hair tie and has to announce it to the world! Congrats on your almost ripe little coconut!

Rahxy · November 2014

I hated the process of "untelling" people.

Luckily, while I was dealing with it, DH took a few days off of work and we just laid in bed together and watched Netflix. My parents took the responsibility of telling grandparents and extended family, thank god. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I waited a few days to tell most people, except the few people I told when we went to the ER. It was so good to have such a loving support group, though!

Congrats to you on your growing little one! I bet your Halloween this year was memorable and full of love!

ikrystal · November 2014

I am new here, too. Congratulations! I lost my twins near "viability" - so with this little girl, we did not announce until I was 4.5 months pregnant. I was terrified. But I've heard stories of people telling right away and people not announcing until they were ready to give birth. Congrats again.

Rahxy · November 2014

Oh I'm so sorry for your losses, I can't even imagine.

One was hard enough. You're tough as Hell.
:x

Congrats though! 11 weeks now? Almost FB announcement time!

I'm happy for you and your beautiful little growing baby! 12 weeks seems like an ETERNITY to me right now, but people keep telling me it flies by, so maybe 10-12 weeks would be a good FB announcement time for us, too! DH wants to wait until our confirmation appt to tell the rest of the family, just so we can tell them we've been to a doctor already and we have a little more information than "Yes we're pregnant IDK ANYTHING ELSE GUYS"

Good for you on the no "What if-ing"!!! That's going to be hard for me, for sure, but I won't keep myself from enjoying every second of this pregnancy just because of a past experience.

Rahxy · November 2014

Congrats to you!

It warms my heart to see so many women with healthy babies and healthy pregnancies after a loss, and I'm very sorry for the loss of your twins. It's hard to remind myself that one loss doesn't mean I'll have another.

How the heck did you keep a secret that long! I can't even keep little secrets, let alone big ones.
:P That's impressive!

LuvLoveXo · November 2014

Congrats and welcome. As for your monitoring question u had one loss which was a missed mc. I am 34 & this time they drew my levels a few times starting at 4 weeks a few days after by BFP until 6 weeks. I had an early us at 6 weeks and then another one a week and a half later. My next one will be with MFM at 12 weeks when I go for my genetic testing. I have a 2-year-old son and had no complications with that pregnancy until the end and so I think they're just erring on the side of caution with me.

We will announce on Thanksgiving at 13w 2d. I would've preferred to wait longer but I'm Sicilian and not drinking wine will raise the biggest red flag. I've already used the "I'm on antibiotics" excuse once so I think it will be time to fess up.

You've come to a great place for support and I wish you the very best with this pregnancy!!

beemaya83 · November 2014

Hey there!! Congratulations to you! Staying positive will help a lot!

We are still undecided of when to tell the family. I'll be having my next appointment on 11/25 we'll be one day off to being 11 weeks by then. If I feel comfortable we might tell on Thanksgiving...I have told my mom and my sister. We haven't told DH side because once the in laws find out EVERYONE will find out if you know what I mean. As far as social media we will not share until we find out sex of the baby or maybe longer.

kate6214 · November 2014

Congrats and welcome. I called my mom the day of my BFP because I needed t tell someone. I told the rest of my immediate family and one close friend that week. We called grandparents and such after the 8 week ultrasound. Now in the second trimester I've told work. I will not be announcing on Facebook. It was too hurtful for me to see announcements. Anyone who really should know does know at this point.

Rahxy · November 2014

Oh wow, I hadn't even considered not posting on facebook out of respect for other people who have suffered a loss.

I know how rough it was for me seeing friends and relatives announcing their pregnancies afterwards. Thanks for bringing that up! I'll really have to think about that, now!

Rahxy · November 2014

It REALLY has been very supportive here! And it feels good to be able to talk to people and ease my mind of certain worries.

All of the ladies here have been so great! This is a wonderful community full of beautiful people!

Bostonchelle · November 2014

I generally have only told people about a pregnancy early when it was someone I would tell if something happened any how- so, my mother and my two closest friends and husbands best friend. With my current pregnancy (22 weeks

Bostonchelle · November 2014

^^^ sorry don't know what happened to to the rest but that's basically the gyst.

Rahxy · November 2014

I do understand that most people (my grandmother, today for instance) think we should wait to tell people 'in case' something goes wrong, there's a big stigma about people knowing you lost a baby. Especially if you lose more than one. And I totally understand why some people would prefer to keep it private for that reason, or any other reason! It's your baby, it's your life, and any way you feel most comfortable living it is fine with me! :P

I would 100% support loved ones either way, and as much as I appreciate people's advice (The people telling me I should wait to go public, not you guys! You guys are great!

) it's always disappointing to hear that from people. I want support, not judgement. Then again, unsolicited advice when you're pregnant just kind comes with the whole package, right? LOL

Bigboneded · November 2014

We didn't tell too many people we were pregnant first time around. And you are right, it was sad telling family after the loss. This time around, told parents as soon as we had BFP, told sibs and his kids after first u/s. Told work at 13-14 weeks. I think you can tell anyone you want, as long as you feel comfortable with the same list for "untelling" that was how we decided who/when. So far no problems with this pregnancy. I am almost 29 weeks with twin girls and we are excited to meet them :-) Here's hoping you have a happy and healthy 9 months!

KMW08 · November 2014

My parents knew the day the pee stick dried. We told dh's parents at our 7wk appointment (seeing RE, so had early monitoring).

Everybody else found out at 13-15wks. Announced on Facebook at 15wks.

pblge · November 2014

Congratulations! We've told people in stages. Closest friends knew right away, immediate family at nine weeks, then extended family and my higher ups at work in the 13-14 week stage. I've been telling people since then on a need-to-know basis, or just when I talk to a friend and it seems right, but I haven't done a real announcement nor do I have any plans to. Pretty soon I won't have to (looks at belly).

carlsonbaby2014 · November 2014

Rahxy said:
How much was your doppler? I think those are a great tool, but I definitely don't think I'm ballsy enough to use one before I hear a heartbeat in the Drs office. (I have some friends who bought dopplers and would use them and use them for weeks until they could hear the heartbeat. I would be a mess!)

I think it's great when people can keep their baby their own little secret until further in their pregnancy. I bet it's an amazing feeling! I just know I couldn't last that long, LOL! I'm the type of person who gets a new hair tie and has to announce it to the world! Congrats on your almost ripe little coconut!

The Doppler was about $40? Somewhere around there. I didn't order it until I was 12 weeks and we had seen the hb a few times already via u/s. It helped keep me sane until I could feel regular movement (which, for me, was at about 22 weeks).

Enjoy telling people when, and how, it works best for you and your husband!

Rahxy · November 2014

Congrats on the twins!!!

I agree that untelling is definitely hard. But it makes me really sad when I'm talking to someone who I never told about my pregnancy, and I feel like I can't mention something that was such a huge part of my life, and changed me so much! It's such a weird thing. Hubby is still a little on the fence about telling the world before X amount of weeks, but once we can figure out a date we're both okay with, I'm ready to tell people, haha!

BackstreetPixie · November 2014

First congratulations! Only you know when you are ready to tell. We told our parents and a few close friends early but waited till week 14 to go conpletely public. I waited because i wasn't ready for questions or people saying things assuming the new pregnancy replaced our old one. So that was what we did.

Rahxy · November 2014

That's something I worry about! It's only been 4 months since we lost our pregnancy. But people don't seem to understand that we're "actively trying" to start a family, it's not just flukes, and we're not going to stop trying for a year because something awful happened. We want a family, and we're gonna work hard for it! Idk why that's such a bizarre concept for some people? :O

tigerlynx31413 · November 2014

Congratulations! With my DD we announced to siblings and out Mothers shortly after our first OB appt. That weekend at our annual memorial softball game we announced to other family and close friends. My OB thought I was just shy of 12 weeks, but when I went in for my U/S that Monday I confirmed my O chart and was just shy of 8 weeks.

This time I plan to wait until after my first OB appt again (which is two days before Thanksgiving). Depending how it all goes we will likely have our DD announce to family at Thanksgiving.

BookishMomma · November 2014

Congratulations. Everyone has different comfort levels about who they tell and when. Only a few close friends & family members know this time. We'll widen the circle as we move into 2nd tri (fingers crossed!)

Mel&John2013 · November 2014

Congratulations!

Don't let other people dictate how you want to share your news and your life, you do what's right for you. We told our close friends and family early on for the same reason you are, because we knew we'd need their support to get through a loss if that should happen. And I think every little life deserves it's celebration...even if sometimes I struggle and get scared instead of excited.

dianeg1017 · November 2014

Congrats and welcome. We told our parents a week after we found out we made our announcement after the dr said it was ok.

Bobbie1227 · November 2014

With the pregnancy we lost last Spring we told everyone at 7 weeks and found out we miscarried at 9 weeks. I wanted to wait until after the first tri to tell but this will be my boyfriends first baby so we told everyone. It was heartbreaking to have to go back and tell everyone including my 15 year old son. Most people were very supportive, others seemed angry they had to "deal" with that. And then of course there were a few people we forgot to tell(my 20 year old daughter who drops off the face of the planet for weeks at a time and a couple others) we miscarried which caused some awkward painful moments weeks later.

This time around, though we have heard the heartbeat twice we are both very cautious. Boyfriend would tell his parents again any day and sometimes I debate on telling mine too as God forbid if something happen we will need support again but we have agreed to wait until we are 12 weeks on Thanksgiving Day to tell. So the only people who know right now is us and my son and one of his therapists. We weren't going to tell my son either but in a moment of selfish teenager attitudes he said I was a bad mom because I had been sick all the time lately and I was using it as an excuse. It was a super emotional day for me and I just blurted it out. It has not been easy to hide this pregnancy, I have actually had to avoid contact with people a lot. I have been so bloated which when you usually have a very flat stomach is hard to hide, I have had the worst sinus issues, and terrible fatigue. We have a 10 week ultrasound on Thursday as well as Verifi testing so Thanksgiving seems to be a good time since there will be no avoiding everyone that day.

You have to tell when you feel comfortable. I would love to have the support this time around if something goes wrong but then a part of me just wants to keep it to myself also.

lilweenie · November 2014

Everyone is different and you have to do what is best for you and your family. I have had two miscarriages in the past and never told anyone. We are very private people and we didn't feel comfortable sharing what happened to us. Everyone mourns differently, and we preferred to do so alone. I am currently 5 weeks pregnant and we have decided to tell family at Christmas and everyone else at New Years.

Want a personalized experience?

Intro! 5wks4d. Excited but terrified. When did you announce?

Re: Intro! 5wks4d. Excited but terrified. When did you announce?

Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

Intro! 5wks4d. Excited but terrified. When did you announce?

Re: Intro! 5wks4d. Excited but terrified. When did you announce?

Began trying for a baby January 2012BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

Began trying for a baby January 2012BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

Began trying for a baby January 2012BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014