Ok, so I don't know why I didn't try to seek out a board like this before. I was diagnosed with PPD when my DD was about a year old. She is now 16 months and I've been on Prozac and taken off. Now I am on Wellbutrin 300mg. Any of you ladies taking the same thing? My main problem with my PPD is extreme anger. I have had frequent outbursts, and the wellbutrin has helped some, but I feel maybe I could be better. I just recently stopped BF, but that doesn't really bother me. I might be able to get some medicine that's a little more aggressive now. Also I wanted to know if I was the only one who felt this way? DD was born 5 weeks early and stayed in the NICU for 34 days, which was pretty traumatic for me and I think added to my condition. I was so happy to have her home, until she started crying all the time. I was so angry and frustrated that she was crying and I couldn't figure out why. I yelled at her all the time, and handled her more roughly than I should have. I hope that doesn't make you see me as a monster. I resisted seeking help, as I thought I could do it all. The yelling continued for a long time, and what finally made me seek help is when I grabbed her arm and left red marks....when she was about 12 months. I felt so horrible. And for most moms, that would make you stop immediately. Thing is, I can't stop. I have spanked her and smacked her hands more than I should. If she isn't doing what I ask or something I don't like, I instantly see red. I can't even try to leave the room or count to 10. I yell automatically. The fact is I know she's just a toddler that doesn't understand all the rules or even what she's doing yet, but I just lose it every time. I think it might be a control issue for me, and I don't know what to do. I hate this person that I am, and I feel I have missed out on her life so much already because I'm constantly pushing her away and wanting her to leave me alone. I have good moments with her, but sometimes I dwell on the bad so much it doesn't matter. Am I crazy? Do I sound like a completely horrible mother? Sorry this has gone on for so long, I just don't want to feel alone.