TTC After a Loss

***** FFFC *****

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Re: ***** FFFC *****

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  • buggirl72 said:
    Due to my amazing failure in being able to secure an interview, let alone a job, Mr. Bug suggested that I get an LLM - which allows me to 1) defer my student loan payments, and 2) overcome my lack of experience by become highly specialized in a certain field.

    My FFFC is that I'm relieved at the thought. Life is much easier when I can say that I'm a student compared to "I"m an attorney without a job".  Also, I could still continue doing my contract gigs while going to school so my unpredictable income would not change.
    There are a lot of government agencies which are hiring attorneys now!! check out usajobs!

    My FFFC: I told DH I was at work, but left early and came to hang out at my parents. He's been so wonderful and so supportive through everything, but I just need time to watch Gilmore Girls, eat leftover Halloween candy and sob/ugly cry a bit without him trying to comfort me. 
    DH & me - 31. 

    BFP #1 09/27/14 -- MMC 5w (discovered 8w) 
    IUI #1 - #4  - bfn (late 2015 to early 2016)
    01/03/17 - 12mm x 6mm polyp removed from uterus- neg path, yay!
    IUI #5 - February 2017. Hoping for some magic 
    02.22.17 - BFP! EDD 11/01/17

    Baby G has arrived! 10/14/17
  • @buggirl72 and @megrae12, that makes me feel so much better!  Thank you :)
                                                                                              BFP #1 3/2/12, T born 11/7/12
                                                                                                 BFP #2  7/2/14, CP 7/6/14
                                 BFP #3 8/28/14, MMC 10/2/14 @ 9wks - misoprostol 10/6/14, D&C 11/3/14 for retained tissue
                                       BFP #4 12/25/14, EDD 9/7/15 - please stick baby, you are so loved and wanted!!!!!                                                                                           
                                                                                                                                                   
                                            image  image                                                                      
  • Responding to everyone in the check-ins I'm trying to participate in intimidates me.  I had to seriously pull out a sticky and list the people I wanted to tag and respond to.  I completely avoided the Ladies in Waiting check-in because I was just overwhelmed.  I guess its because I'm new and don't know everyone yet?  :-S

    I really like when I'm on TB when a checkin gets posted so I'm paged so I'm one if the first. It's so hard to try to respond to all the posts and members once the afternoon rolls around, especially since I'm in mobile. My thumb gets sore from scrolling up and down. I feel bad when I don't get a chance to come back on a PC to respond to everyone.
    Lol, I always try to respond quickly too so I'm one of the first.
                                                                                              BFP #1 3/2/12, T born 11/7/12
                                                                                                 BFP #2  7/2/14, CP 7/6/14
                                 BFP #3 8/28/14, MMC 10/2/14 @ 9wks - misoprostol 10/6/14, D&C 11/3/14 for retained tissue
                                       BFP #4 12/25/14, EDD 9/7/15 - please stick baby, you are so loved and wanted!!!!!                                                                                           
                                                                                                                                                   
                                            image  image                                                                      
  • cavewmn said:
    FFFC: I read every single board that is posted on here. It makes me feel like a stalker at times. 

    FFFC2: I think I might be the only one that doesn't drink on here. It's only because my stomach can no longer handle it. 


    I don't drink. I may have 1 or 2 drinks twice a year.
  • *snip
    But I intentionally included no punctuation after the word "congratulations" on the card.

    ---------
    @HoldingOutHope‌ I'm a little late to the party, but I love that you stuck it to them with punctuation. Seriously dying over here. I would have done the same thing. :)
  • Another FFFC: last night we came home after a rehearsal dinner and because yesterday was probably O day, we needed to have sex. We were both exhausted and laying in bed and I confessed to DH that it's not fair how people can get pregnant easily with timing once in their FW (yes I know it only takes 1time) but we have been at it long enough that it's scheduled. I almost wanted to just say fuck it, we will just have O-1 timing, but I knew I would regret not giving it our best later. I'm over this cycle already.
    It's so frustrating ((hugs))
  • agpjt413 said:
    @LDubHawksFan‌ - YES!! Did you see the thread on TTGP where some chick said she miscarried even though she kept getting BFNs?! I wanted to respond but felt weird since I didn't introduce myself yet.
    Yeah I saw that. I wasn't sure what to make of it.
    ~X(
  • @LDubHawksFan‌ - YES!! Did you see the thread on TTGP where some chick said she miscarried even though she kept getting BFNs?! I wanted to respond but felt weird since I didn't introduce myself yet.
    Oh yeah that one made me so ragey. I posted on it, but had to back away because it was such bullshit. Fwiw, I think you could have totally responded and then intro'd later (maybe prefaced with **lurker**). TTGP is great and my first "home board". However I really love this board too. It's a little more personal IMO, because we all share this unfortunate background but understand it.
    I think this board seems more intimate because there are far less ladies who are active. TTGP is very very busy compared to TTCAL
  • I have a totally Debbie downer confession: I still can't shake the feeling that I lost this baby because I'm not supposed to have it. That I'm not equipped and don't have the emotional bandwidth, and that I'll fail my rainbow baby if I have one. I really need to call and schedule that therapy appointment.
    I am sorry you are so down. If you are having thoughts to schedule with a therapist please do so. You are not to blame for what happened.

    Me: 31 DH: 36
    Dated Since ‘02, Married in ‘06
    BFP#1 05/16/06, EDD01/16/07, MC 06/12/06 at 8 weeks
    BFP #2 08/14/14, EDD 04/22/15, MC 09/17/14 at 9 weeks

    image 

     My Chart

  • @Sterling13 ((Hugs)) love. I am so sorry you feel this way. I agree with Pink, you are not to blame for this. You are capable of much more than you know, sweetie. 
    Multiple TTCAL 1IF 3
    imageimage
    DX: stage 2 Endo 2012, PCOS 7/2/14,  HSG 6/11/14, Lefty open!!
    BFP#1, EDD: 4/27/14, Missed EP confirmed: 9/23/13, R tube removal: 9/25/13 
    Clomid/TI #1=BFN, 
    Clomid/TI#2=BFN, Clomid/TI #3=CP
    BFP #2 CP, EDD 7/12/15
    On a treatment break: 2 natural cycles. Saving money, sigh*

    Goodbye my sweet babies. We miss you so much
    All Welcome


  • mlal78 said:
    FFFC#2 I was excited to see this had 113 responses when I got home from grocery shopping.  I came right in expecting there to be drama.... and then I was kinda disappointed that there wasn't!
    I'll start some potential drama. :p

    I have a problem with people who compare their bench time (for personal reasons) to mine (for medical reasons). I never say anything because I know how much it sucks to be there but sometimes I feel like yelling you can change your mind tomorrow and start TTC if you really wanted to.
  • mlal78 said:
    I have a totally Debbie downer confession: I still can't shake the feeling that I lost this baby because I'm not supposed to have it. That I'm not equipped and don't have the emotional bandwidth, and that I'll fail my rainbow baby if I have one. I really need to call and schedule that therapy appointment.
    ((hugs)) please please please don't think like that.  Do we need to get the snuggle going?  @sterling13


    image

     

    Me: 31 DH: 36
    Dated Since ‘02, Married in ‘06
    BFP#1 05/16/06, EDD01/16/07, MC 06/12/06 at 8 weeks
    BFP #2 08/14/14, EDD 04/22/15, MC 09/17/14 at 9 weeks

    image 

     My Chart

  • @mlal78 That looks amazing!!
    Multiple TTCAL 1IF 3
    imageimage
    DX: stage 2 Endo 2012, PCOS 7/2/14,  HSG 6/11/14, Lefty open!!
    BFP#1, EDD: 4/27/14, Missed EP confirmed: 9/23/13, R tube removal: 9/25/13 
    Clomid/TI #1=BFN, 
    Clomid/TI#2=BFN, Clomid/TI #3=CP
    BFP #2 CP, EDD 7/12/15
    On a treatment break: 2 natural cycles. Saving money, sigh*

    Goodbye my sweet babies. We miss you so much
    All Welcome


  • I have a totally Debbie downer confession: I still can't shake the feeling that I lost this baby because I'm not supposed to have it. That I'm not equipped and don't have the emotional bandwidth, and that I'll fail my rainbow baby if I have one.

    I really need to call and schedule that therapy appointment.


    I sometimes struggle with this, too. You are not to blame. ((Hugs))
  • AngieL610 said:
    buggirl72 said:
    Due to my amazing failure in being able to secure an interview, let alone a job, Mr. Bug suggested that I get an LLM - which allows me to 1) defer my student loan payments, and 2) overcome my lack of experience by become highly specialized in a certain field.

    My FFFC is that I'm relieved at the thought. Life is much easier when I can say that I'm a student compared to "I"m an attorney without a job".  Also, I could still continue doing my contract gigs while going to school so my unpredictable income would not change.
    There are a lot of government agencies which are hiring attorneys now!! check out usajobs!

    My FFFC: I told DH I was at work, but left early and came to hang out at my parents. He's been so wonderful and so supportive through everything, but I just need time to watch Gilmore Girls, eat leftover Halloween candy and sob/ugly cry a bit without him trying to comfort me. 
    Thanks! Unfortunately, only two are in my state and the nearest one would be a 2 1/2 commute one way.



    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • ktlovess said:
    mlal78 said:
    FFFC#2 I was excited to see this had 113 responses when I got home from grocery shopping.  I came right in expecting there to be drama.... and then I was kinda disappointed that there wasn't!
    I'll start some potential drama. :p

    I have a problem with people who compare their bench time (for personal reasons) to mine (for medical reasons). I never say anything because I know how much it sucks to be there but sometimes I feel like yelling you can change your mind tomorrow and start TTC if you really wanted to.
    I hope you don't mean me, @PinkCamino. Because, FWIW, I don't think my situation is/was anything like yours. I know I am TTA for personal reasons (I would say more professional ones, but same deal), but I couldn't really have turned around and started to TTC, or else I wouldn't be doing my fellowship, and I am really happy that I am now. The only thing that is similar is that it sucks. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like this.
    No, I don't think you've ever specifically compared the two. So, no worries okay?
  • I have a totally Debbie downer confession: I still can't shake the feeling that I lost this baby because I'm not supposed to have it. That I'm not equipped and don't have the emotional bandwidth, and that I'll fail my rainbow baby if I have one.

    I really need to call and schedule that therapy appointment.

    I'm so sorry you feel this way. I really hope that these feelings go away soon for you. Loss is hard enough without feeling guilty about it. You are not to blame for this. Huge hugs to you!
    BFP #1: 5-14-2010, DD born 1-22-2011
    BFP #2: 4-20-2012, Natural MC 5-1-2012
    BFP #3: 7-19-2012, DS born 3-27-2013
    BFP #4: 9-13-2014, MMC discovered 10-27-14 at 10w, d&c on 11-6-14 

  • mlal78 said:
    @kcrkcs apparently you can get those bottles at Hobby Lobby, Michaels, and Ikea (the blog post was from 2011 so they may not carry them anymore)
    You can definitely find them at Hobby Lobby and Michaels. Can't vouch for IKEA. I always buy them for homemade limoncello! :D
    limoncello??!! Gah!! Now I want some!!
    Multiple TTCAL 1IF 3
    imageimage
    DX: stage 2 Endo 2012, PCOS 7/2/14,  HSG 6/11/14, Lefty open!!
    BFP#1, EDD: 4/27/14, Missed EP confirmed: 9/23/13, R tube removal: 9/25/13 
    Clomid/TI #1=BFN, 
    Clomid/TI#2=BFN, Clomid/TI #3=CP
    BFP #2 CP, EDD 7/12/15
    On a treatment break: 2 natural cycles. Saving money, sigh*

    Goodbye my sweet babies. We miss you so much
    All Welcome


  • Okay, here I go...

    Background: Living overseas has caused a lot of issues with MH's family and our relationship with them. My one SIL really seems to feed off the drama and I suspect enjoys making things worse.

    Confession: Lately I've been checking in her Facebook with the sole purpose of looking for something to get mad over. She never disappoints. Super healthy behavior on my part I know.
  • MrsPhD83 said:
    I'm the MOH in my sister's wedding next August. We are TTA this cycle because if I had gotten PG, I would have been 41 weeks on her wedding day. I previously had decided we would try next cycle, but then I talked to my mom and she's all "your sister would be so disappointed if you couldn't make it" blah blah blah. If we get PG next cycle I would be 37.5 weeks PG. Confession: I want to be there for my sister but I don't really care about disappointing her. She has been a huge asshat with regards to her wedding (she threatened to "demote me" the other day because I didn't call her back quickly enough to discuss outfit selection for her engagement pics 8-|) Confession part 2: I'm more worried about not being able to make it and then disappointing my mom. And I think maybe I should TTA one more cycle. But MH is gonna flip if I bring it up X_X UGH. I can't believe that dealing with this BS is even a thing.
    Just want to say, I am dealing with the same thing with my brother's wedding. My mom thought we should hold off on TTC because my brother and his fiancé would be so disappointed if I missed the wedding. I considered TTA this cycle but then said fuck it, we're gonna try, because if there is one thing I have learned through all this it's that you can never plan anything when it comes to TTC. If we do get pregnant this cycle I would be due the week of my brother's wedding, and I decided everyone would just have to deal with that (and really they would be fine in the end). My future SIL keeps trying to pressure me to get my bridesmaid dress (yes, for a wedding that is 10 months away!) but I keep delaying because I really hope I am in some stage of pregnancy by August!
    Married: 4/28/12
    BFP: 7/2/14 ;  1st US 7/21/14 Baby measuring 7w5d, HB of 138;  Discovered MMC 8/18/14 at 11w2d, baby measuring 8w5d, no hb ; 8/19/14 D&C
    image

    TTCAL December siggy challenge - Autocorrect Fails

    image

    | <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Tracker</My Chart

  • ktlovess said:
    CFearsy said:
    I have another FFFC that may stir it up a little. I rarely go into the TP threads anymore because it seems that no one uses the pregnancy warnings anymore and they tend to just be the same complaints about pregnancy announcements.

    ETA: I guess it's a little obvious that I went there recently, huh?
    @CFearsy - Did you read my mind?? Did you read what I just posted in the TP thread?
    I apologize ladies. I know I've done this before without even thinking about adding the warning. 
    BFP #1 12/19/13 We lost our Fenix 7/31/14 at 36 weeks due to torn umbilical cord
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    My Chart TTA until Feb 2015
    ~*ALL AL WELCOME*~
    image
  • FFFC 1 I'll say it, this board intimidates the fuck out of me

    FFFC 2 I just got home from work and I may or may not be on my 3 alcoholic beverage already.
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



  • FFFC 1- I read TTGP but too intimidated to join.    I am not sure why but I am super afraid to be flamed.  Mrs. Senitive over here.

    FFFC 2- I don't get scarasm... It is my H's second language.  It can cause a lot of mini arguments because I don't get it.

    FFFC 3- I am not really a newbie as I have been here for 6 months, but I am not really  a reg. I can't get on until most people are gone.  @mflowers929- complimented me this week and I may of teared up a little bit.   I am in that awkward middle stages that you hate. 

    December 4                     image

    Married-1/2012
    TTC-8/2013   BFP-4/18/14  EDD: 12/29/12 MC-5/17/14 @ 7w4d
    BFP #2-11/13/14  EDD: 7/26/14  Beta #1: 11/14/13 (135 progesterone: 19.5)   Beta #2" 11/17/14 (733 ) 
    Hoping for good news!

    Everyone Welcome

  • Responding to everyone in the check-ins I'm trying to participate in intimidates me.  I had to seriously pull out a sticky and list the people I wanted to tag and respond to.  I completely avoided the Ladies in Waiting check-in because I was just overwhelmed.  I guess its because I'm new and don't know everyone yet?  :-S

    I really like when I'm on TB when a checkin gets posted so I'm paged so I'm one if the first. It's so hard to try to respond to all the posts and members once the afternoon rolls around, especially since I'm in mobile. My thumb gets sore from scrolling up and down. I feel bad when I don't get a chance to come back on a PC to respond to everyone.

    Earlier this week when responding on the IF Checki-in, I had my iPad next to me, so I could respond to everyone as I typed my post on my laptop. Scrolling up and down when there's 20+ posts drives me batty, but with all the shit we have going on and the support I've received, I want to make sure and share the love. Definitely got the side eye from DH, though :))
    TTCAL December Siggy Challenge: Autocorrect Fails
    image


    ***siggy warning*** 

    TTC since 3/2012 
    DH - 34; nml swimmers; Me - 34; sinking AMH (now 0.55), low AFC, nml FSH/LH 
    Clomid + IUI #1 (6/2013) - BFN; #2 (7/2013) - BFFN 
    Bonus info: me - low TNF, low vitamin D, borderline low IGF (all improving) 
    IVF (May/June2014) 5R/5F/2T (ET 6/11) - no frosties. 
    + HPT 8dp5dt. Beta #1 - 71(6/20). Beta #2 381 (6/24) 
    U/S 7/11 (one perfect little bean, HB 150's). EDD 3/1/2015
    Baby boy Lincoln Alexander's HB stopped at 18w and was delivered at 19w (10/3/2014)
    All testing normal/negative including normal chromosomes - no answers... D&C 11/20/2014
    IVF#2 coming in Spring 2015
  • @FutureMrsWright2012 when I was at work the other day I had TB up on both of my monitors so I could use one to read and one to respond. :\">
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



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