~~* FTM & BTDTM play date! 10/30 ~~*

AMShark · October 2014

Welcome to the First Time Mothers (FTM) & Been There Done That Mothers (BTDTM) Play Date!

This is a thread for the FTM's in our PAIF community. Check-ins will be posted every other Thursday. On alternating Thursdays, I'll post a FT & BTDT moms' "Play Date" thread - in which we inexperienced first timers ask for advice and feedback from the more experienced ladies in our communities.

Here are our FTM's, ordered by EDD:

Third Trimester

11/19/14 - @Ashris13

11/04/14 - @rox825

11/07/14 - @lincoln79

12/13/14 - @CandaceC1020

12/15/14 - @heleng5

12/15/14 - @xc1148

12/30/14 - @Saintelizabeth

01/13/15 - @southernyankeegirl

01/14/15 - @MKateG

Second Trimester

01/21/15 - @hopeby2015
01/24/15 - @Lady2010

02/02/15 - @WA1215

02/07/15 - @jaztastic

02/11/15 - @MissEm15

02/17/15 - @weansworld09

02/19/15 - @Escarabeo217

02/22/15 - @BeckyP005

02/22/15 - @runawaylaurel

03/14/15 - @Margritli (twins)

03/21/15 - @KT416

03/23/15 - @poohniki

04/17/15 - @pblge

04/25/15 - @BalletAn

04/25/15 - @Canuck13

First Trimester

04/25/15 - @BalletAn

04/25/15 - @Canuck13

04/29/15 - @AMShark (twins)

05/01/15 - @LO95

05/02/15 - @gsancho

05/07/15 - @sugar4bri (twins)

05/16/15 - @Aimothy (twins)

05/16/15 - @sunshinedaisies000

05/20/15 - @Lesliem0901

05/21/15 - @holberry5

05/25/15 - @1220winterbride

05/25/15 - @Champs28

05/25/15 - @Regan1976

05/25/15 - @yvonne0001
05/26/15 - @HCAMP123

05/26/15 - @viola27
05/29/15 - @kittenmittens9

05/30/15 - @MJ14323

05/31/15 - @IFinTN

05/31/15 - @sweetpotato123 (twins)

06/03/15 - @CarSaidYes

06/03/15 - @turquoisequeen

06/04/15 - @wendyful

06/06/15 - @Andy99

06/11/15 - @hbanana18

06/11/15 - @starlightgator (twins)

06/12/15 - @PurpleDaisy923 (twins)

06/15/15 - @jessimi06
PAIF Angels:
missmarypoppins

Graduates:
@Cutiecruz327 - Welcome, baby Manny, b. 10/22/14

@ekc0630 - Welcome, baby Jackson Thomas, b. 10/31/14

QOTW: What was your favorite Halloween costume? It can be something you've worn, or something you've seen someone else wear.

**Play Date Note** This week, we've tried to gather FTM questions in advance. Those questions are included in my next post.

Please respect our BTDT contributors & avoid duplicate questions. What to know what was already answered? Check out the links to previous Play Date threads:
10/02 Play Date session
10/17 Play Date session

ETA: 8+ edits to restore the end of this thread. Boo. Finger crossed for a good save.

pblge · October 2014

Edit: I posted before AMShark added the list, sorry!!

AMShark · October 2014

FTM Group Questions:

Sleeping Arrangements: What do the BTDT moms suggest for sleeping arrangements? Lucie's list and Baby Bargains suggest that bassinets and such are a waste of money. One of them suggested a PNP with bassinet feature for the first several weeks before transitioning to the crib. What the BTDT moms have done and how well did it work?

For small homes/living areas - can a bassinet or pack n'play substitute for a crib for a while if there is currently no room for a full nursery?

Do you use the same bed arrangement for both naps & nighttime, or do you separate the two so that baby knows the difference?

Did you only use/buy a crib mattress for the crib? When did you start to transition into a crib?

Sleeping Habits: At what age did your LO's start to sleep longer throughout the night? Were there any techniques that you found helpful when it came to getting your LO to sleep better?

Baby Registry: If you had a registry, when did you have it completed?

Child Care: What kinds of questions or things should the FTM's focus on when looking at daycare facilities? What things should we look for?

L&D: BTDT Mom's, prior to going into labor, what did you internal exams show (if you had one)? e.g. Did you start to dilate/efface in advance? Any BH or "practice" contractions? No dilation or signs of labor until contractions started, or water broke, etc?

How painful were your contractions on a scale of 1-10 (10 being most painful)? What birthing technique did you use to ease the pain?

If you had a doula, did you like her?

Pets/Fur kids: How did you acclimate your furry child(ren) to your new human addition(s)? Any tips for what should or shouldn't be done?

Bouncer v. Swing: Opinions on bouncers vs. swings vs. rockers? Any favorite brands of either?

Nursing: On a scale of 1 to10, describe the pain level of the very first time you nursed? Subsequent times? (Assume 10 is most painful, 1 is not painful at all).

AMShark · October 2014

Hello FTM's & BTDT-M's! Sorry for another late post. I'd tell you about my day at work, but then you'd want to stab your own eyes out with sharpened #2 pencils too. Let's just say that a PG woman should not be made to go to back-to-back-to-back-to-back meetings from 9-4:30 without a pee break, even if she is only in her 14th week. [end rant]

FTM's I hope I captured your questions well. I did a little combining & editing, but I think I got them all. Let me know if you think I changed the meaning of your question in my editing.

QOTW: I don't get dressed up for Halloween anymore, but a few years ago we got invited to a party, so I made my own costume. I made pig ears out of felt and a plastic head band, a pig snout with more felt, elastic and a paper towel tube, and then I went to the store to buy a snuggy,...... so I could be a Pig in a Blanket.

I was warm & comfy & for sure more comfortable than the ladies dressed as Hallo-whores. (Not to knock those costumes - if you got it, flaunt it, I guess, but don't get all jealous because you don't have two fuzzy, over-sized pockets to hold your candy & a solo cup).

hopeby2015 · October 2014

I thought u did a great job on the questions. I think the QOTW got cut off tho?

Robeano · October 2014

Hello ladies. I offer my own experience.

Bassinets. I love them! I used mine for 7 months. It was amazing. I had my DD in our room, which reduces the risk of SIDS. Mind you she was a quiet sleeper and it made middle of the night feedings easier.

For naps I used whatever or wherever she would sleep. For us I more stressed routine for the night time.

For fur babies I read it was a good idea to bring a blanket or outfit the baby was wearing and let the animal smell it before meeting baby. Also for us we made sure all the baby stuff was set up in advance so they got used to it.

mdiblasi10 · October 2014

Sleeping Arrangements: What do the BTDT moms suggest for sleeping arrangements? Lucie's list and Baby Bargains suggest that bassinets and such are a waste of money. One of them suggested a PNP with bassinet feature for the first several weeks before transitioning to the crib. What the BTDT moms have done and how well did it work?

For small homes/living areas - can a bassinet or pack n'play substitute for a crib for a while if there is currently no room for a full nursery?

Do you use the same bed arrangement for both naps & nighttime, or do you separate the two so that baby knows the difference?

Did you only use/buy a crib mattress for the crib? When did you start to transition into a crib?

We started with a pack 'n play next to our bed because it was easier for me to wake up and breastfeed LO in bed, especially after a c-section. We had a very small house at the time too. It worked great for us for the first 3 months, and then I transitioned him into his room in his crib. That went great for us as well. He started off napping in his swing or anywhere he was at, and eventually I worked on putting him in his crib for naps, mostly in anticipation for daycare at 5 months old.

Sleeping Habits: At what age did your LO's start to sleep longer throughout the night? Were there any techniques that you found helpful when it came to getting your LO to sleep better? Swaddling! At least for us, it was wonderful and LO loved it. Some do, some don't. I highly recommend the SwaddleMe wraps. We always had a great sleeper, so this is just our experience, but he slept 8 hours straight starting at 6 weeks old. During growth spurts, he would wake once around 3 or 4 am, but otherwise he maintained good sleep habits. I don't know if it's just by chance or what because I have no tricks!

Baby Registry: If you had a registry, when did you have it completed? I registered before our shower, which was just before 32 weeks.

Child Care: What kinds of questions or things should the FTM's focus on when looking at daycare facilities? What things should we look for? Great question and a very important one! I know from experience that there are things to look for that you may not think of when they are tiny babies, but you will appreciate later on. I will share the blog post I wrote so I don't have to re-write it all again

https://hopingforbabyb.blogspot.com/2013/06/daycare.html

L&D: BTDT Mom's, prior to going into labor, what did you internal exams show (if you had one)? e.g. Did you start to dilate/efface in advance? Any BH or "practice" contractions? No dilation or signs of labor until contractions started, or water broke, etc?

How painful were your contractions on a scale of 1-10 (10 being most painful)? What birthing technique did you use to ease the pain?

If you had a doula, did you like her?

My exams showed nothing, ha! I never got more than a cm dilated. I did have some contractions and they were pretty painful and caused me to vomit. And then I was hydrated at the hospital and they subsided. I ended up with an emergency c-section because LO's heart rate went way up, so I don't have any other labor experience.

Pets/Fur kids: How did you acclimate your furry child(ren) to your new human addition(s)? Any tips for what should or shouldn't be done? Our Mastiff and two kitties were fine with LO. I let them sniff him and check out the new family member. But they all adjusted well and are great friends now.

Bouncer v. Swing: Opinions on bouncers vs. swings vs. rockers? Any favorite brands of either? I used a really basic Graco swing and it worked great for naps or when he was fussy. I loved it for putting in the bathroom with me when I needed to get a shower in! I had a friend who used the Mamaroo and loved it.

Nursing: On a scale of 1 to10, describe the pain level of the very first time you nursed? Subsequent times? (Assume 10 is most painful, 1 is not painful at all). First time? pffft, zero! It didn't hurt at all the first time. It hurt most, at least for me, after baby is feeding every few hours for several days. It's like a raw sensitivity. But it goes away. For me, it felt like they literally became numb. Use that Lanolin and the cooling gel pads in the beginning. They helped me.

AMShark · October 2014

hopeby2015 said:

I thought u did a great job on the questions. I think the QOTW got cut off tho?

Thanks for the heads up @hopeby2015 - It looks like a LARGE chunk of my original post was eaten by the bump goblins including half the 1st Tri ladies, Angels & Graduates, the QOTW, an explanation that pre-gathered questions would appear in the next post, and hyper links to our last 2 play dates.
I'm trying to fix it now, but it's been ugly. So, now, I'm slowly trying to add back 1 item at a time. It's totally been that kind of day.

(Maybe TB doesn't like too long posts? I'll have to think about moving the FTM list to a 2nd post in the thread going forward - but then again, the bottom of my list got eaten in my Wednesday thread, and I had already separated the FTM list to post #2.. maybe my PC just hates me).

hopeby2015 · October 2014

Hope it gets easier!

Cwhitaker27 · October 2014

Jumping over from SAIF! Congrats to all of you, super exciting times. A little about me. I'm a mom to a 3 year old son and now 4 month old daughter. Even though I did it once I'm still learning more the second time around. And all babies are so different so try not to compare. There are soo many variations in parenting style and everyone will have advice for you. In the end, do what works best for your family!

Sleeping Arrangements: We originally bought a pack n play for our room and had the crib set up for transition later on but we ended up putting DS straight in his crib after my fur baby jumped in the pack n play on top of him, which was scary. It ended up working great for us. I'd say I'm definitely the minority on this though. It depends on what's comfortable for you. I would get up and go sit in the rocking chair to nurse DS anyway so it worked out well. Some moms find that having them right next to their bed is less disruptive and easier. I hear great things about the rock n play!

Sleeping Habits: With DS he started sleeping through the night around 5-6 months. DD started sleeping through the night at 3 months. I feel every baby is different. I swear by swaddling though!!! We use the Velcro swaddle me swaddles and they rock. DD would fight the swaddle at first but got used to it and it helps her sleep longer! Also some babies love the pacifier and others don't. DS would never take it but DD loves it and it really helps her sleep. I was anti pacifier until I had my second and realized how well it works to calm her... Be open to it if you can.

Baby Registry: I started soon after our anatomy scan and tried to finish it prior to my baby shower.

L&D: with #1 I never had BH contractions and never dilated but baby was breech. At 39 weeks I had an external version and induction which were successful. I had an epidural and am all for them! I had a positive experience with both induction and an epidural. The pain prior to an epidural was 10/10 but with the epidural about a 1/10. During pushing I felt more pressure/discomfort than pain.
With #2 I was 3cm dilated and 80effaced starting a couple weeks before my due date. Started having BH's a couple days before my due date but went 5 days overdue at which time my OB induced me. Again, I had a positive induction and epidural.

Pets/Fur kids: we have a little 12lb Yorkie .DH brought home a blanket that DS was wrapped in and put it on our dogs bed the day before we were discharged so our dog could get acclimated to the smell. First thing when we came in the door we let our dig sniff the baby in the carseat.

Bouncer v. Swing: we have both a swing and bouncer. Both kids love the swing. Ours has the ability to swing side to side or forward and backward. Each kid liked a different way. #1 didn't like the bouncer but #2 did. I say if you can afford it get both a swing and bouncer. The bouncer is a nice place to just set your baby when you need to do something ie: bathroom,shower, cook etc.

Nursing: pain level was probably a 3 or 4 in the beginning and quickly got better after a week or two. I would have pain during the latch but once we got nursing it would go away. I did get a blister with #2 because of incorrect latching and that was painful. If you have blistered, cracking or bleeding nipples lanolin cream definitely helped.

PennyLane26 · October 2014

Hi PAIF! Happy to visit and answer some Qs! Hope you are all feeling well! I have an 18 month old daughter and a baby boy due in 4 weeks! Hopefully you're finding our answers helpful.

Sleeping Arrangements: Honestly, the first few weeks there won't be much sleeping at all at night! DD "slept" in our room for about 1-2 hours at a time in the vibrating bouncy for the first 3 weeks. At 1 month we transitioned to a small cradle in our room and she slept in that until 3 months. She was STTN at that point so we then transitioned her to her crib in her own room. A small cradle/bassinet/PNP are all great options! I know a lot of parents use the RNP, too.

For naps she slept downstairs in the swing until 4 months. She loved the noise and I could even watch TV while she napped in the same room! I like having her nap in a noisy, light room so she would catch on that night time was different.

DD was sleeping in the crib at night at 3 months, napping by 5 months.

Sleeping Habits: DD was a great sleeper. She STTN for the first time at 8 weeks, then consistently by 3 months. There were occasional nights she would wake to nurse once, but usually only 1-2x a week. She was primarily BF. That does make a difference as BF tend to wake more to eat.

Baby Registry: About 2 months before my shower, 6 months-ish.

L&D: I was induced for Pre-E, but when I was admitted I was already dilated 3cm so I was able to start right on Pitocin rather than a cervix softening agent (like cytotec or cervidil).

How painful were your contractions on a scale of 1-10 (10 being most painful)? Well, on Pitocin it's supposedly a little different. You don't really ease into contractions like a natural labor, they come on full force, at least that was my experience. I was at a pain level 10 by hour 15 or so on Pitocin, I got an epidural at 20 hours or so. I was just tired!

What birthing technique did you use to ease the pain? Loved the birthing ball, I sat on that thing for a good 15 hours, no joke. Breathing also helps, vocalizing wasn't for me, I was pretty quiet and focused.

Pets/Fur kids: Eh, nothing special, My dog was very gentle with DD since we brought her home. The cat just ignores her.

Bouncer v. Swing: Love both! I use the Fisher Price Snugabunny swing for naps downstairs. I used the bouncer for night time sleeping when DD was a few weeks and also for when I showered or made dinner.

Nursing: I have to say, nursing was a breeze for me. I know that's not the case for a lot of people, but maybe you'll find it hopeful that it can come easy! I had a little pain upon latching in the beginning (first 2-3 weeks or so), but nothing major. I used lanolin from day one and never had cracks, never bled. I did leak a TON for 6 straight months, bamboobies were my lifesaver!

CarSaidYes · October 2014

Thank you! This post is very helpful

turquoisequeen · October 2014

Thanks to all the BTDT moms! Love reading the responses!

I like the idea of not having to have a swing, bouncer and RNP. Seems like a few of you really liked the RNP and maybe its use lasts a bit longer. For those that have them any particular ones you recommend?

mnj05 · October 2014

Sleeping arrangements: DS slept in a bassinet in our room until 2-3 months when he grew out of it. DH wasn't ready to move him so he slept in a bouncy seat until 6 months when we finally moved him to his crib. If I had it my way, he would've been in the crib by 2 months. Naps were in the swing until around 4 months, then we switched to the crib.

Sleep Habits: DS never slept fewer than 3 hours at a time from day one. He stretched that out to 4-5 hours by 3 months I believe. He didn't STTN until 9-10 months and we didn't train him. He learned how to do that on his own but we would've trained him by a year though.

Baby Registry: I had mine done by 24-26 weeks since my first shower was at 30 weeks.

L&D: I had BH beginning at 30 weeks but they were stronger around 34 weeks. My first internal exam was at 37 weeks and showed 1cm dilated and 75% effaced. OB stripped my membranes at that appointment and a week later I was at 4cm and 90%, all with contractions along the way that I barely felt. We induced at 39 weeks and I walked into the hospital at 5cm and 100%. OB broke my water and off it went! I wanted to feel contractions so we held off on the epi even though I could've gotten it right away. My most painful was about a 6 or 7 but as much of a wimp as I consider myself to be, it really wasn't as bad as I was thinking it would be. I also didn't feel them for hours so that could have made a difference.

Pets: my parents stayed at our house and took blankets home every night (c-section so we were in the hospital for 3.5 days). Both dogs avoided baby for a long time but as he became mobile, they started to acknowledge him and now it's no big deal.

Swing/Bouncers: swing all the way!! Those are lifesavers! I also loved the bouncer for trips since they're small.

luvboston · October 2014

Sleeping arrangements: we had LO in a pack in play in the raised position for 3 months. I think the bassinet option is a waste because they don't move and in the raised position you grab them at the same distance. For small houses there is no reason you cannot keep using the pnp. My LO is 14 mos and still sleeps in it at my parents every week.

Crib mattress we bought the naturpedic with springs, I hated the one without springs

Sleeping: LO started sleeping through the night at 4 mos, she no longer got fed any bottles at night however she goes to bed at 11pm. I don't believe in sleep training I just had the belief one day she would sleep and she did. She loves sleep sacks, hates being wrapped and never wanted her arms contained.

Breast feeding: it barely hurt like a 2 however I had an awful bf experience.

Swings an absolute must. LO didn't like sitting in the bouncer. She would nap in the swing.

Registry: finishes at 34 weeks.

Labor: never went into labor never dilated. LO dropped at 34 weeks and cervix was soft the day I had my emerg c/s. I don't see point in a doula unless your husband is totally useless or you have anxiety save your money.

Ruthie04 · October 2014

Sleeping Arrangements: From homecoming to 7 weeks, they slept in RnPs in our room. We then transitioned them into the bassinet part of the PnP by propping the top with books and slowly removing the books (to help them get used to sleeping without an incline- at the recommendation of the NP at the pedi's office). Once they started sleeping through the night at 4 months, we transitioned them into their room with absolutely no problem. For naps, we'd do whatever worked- bouncy chairs, RnPs, swing...whatever you have to do. But, I had twins and couldn't really rock them at the same time and put them down without waking one, so I'd hold one and bounce/ rock the other seat/RnP with my feet or spare hand. Or, I'd use the foot trick for both while hooked up to the pump!

Sleeping Habits: Until four months, we had to wake the boys to eat every 3-4 hours because they were growth restricted in utero and small birth weight. Once we stopped waking them, DS1 slept through the night right away. It took DS2 a couple weeks to stop waking. I strongly believe in the power of a good swaddle. DS2 could break any one (even the velcro Swaddlemes, plus you don't want to be messing with noisy velcro when another baby is trying to sleep in the room), but we had success with the Miracle Blanket. Also, don't be afraid to put the crib/ PnP at an incline. I mentioned that our pedi had us use books for the PnP and suggested lowering the bottom end of the mattress (by dropping it to the next lowest setting). For a baby with silent or active reflux, it will really help. Also, a sound machine can change your life. We never sleep trained the boys, just kinda rode out the sleep regressions as they came along.

Baby Registry: With twins, I wanted to be prepared for bed rest (I was placed on it at 34 weeks and delivered at 36 weeks). My shower was at 31 weeks, so I was probably finished by 28ish. I added things here and there, but I definitely wanted to be finished so I could take advantage of my completion coupon and get things set up by 32 weeks. For multiples moms- BrU told me to put down an earlier due date to get your completion coupon early in the event you are on bed rest or deliver early.

L&D: I had BHs, starting in the early 20s (I was probably measuring around 26-28 weeks). I started having true contractions around 30 weeks, but didn't realize it until my routine NSTs started at 32 weeks. I had 9 during the first test and realized- oh, that's what that is...I just thought the babies were balling up and sticking their bottoms in the air! I continued to have increasingly strong, but irregular contractions for five weeks. My cervix was holding strong, so no one really cared. Honestly, I'm glad my water broke...I wouldn't have known I was in labor! My OB checked me two hours before my water broke and I was fully effaced, but not dilated at all! I had a planned c-section within four hours of my water breaking, so I never got to the crazy pain part- just REALLY intense contractions. Like, I couldn't talk through them, but not because they hurt, just because they were so STRONG (does that even make sense?).

Bouncer v. Swing: My boys were never big swing fans, so I cant speak to that. We got a crazy fancy one and it was only occasionally used in times of desperation. We used the Tiny Love Gymini Bouncer. They LOVED that musical crab. It was great for tandem bottle feedings when they were bigger and I was hooked up to the pump!

Nursing: Honestly, it didn't hurt a bit the whole time I was in the hospital. I remember being shocked. The engorgement was the worst part in the beginning. But...holy hell...two weeks later was not okay. Both of my boys were horrific latchers. So bad, the LC actually encouraged me to give it up. We used all kinds of stuff to try to correct things, but it ended up impacting my supply and giving me permanent scar tissue and nipple damage. So, the kind of pain I had was ridiculous...like screaming for someone to help me unlatch him and shooting blood onto the pillow. That's NOT normal and NOT okay. Nipple shells (they are hard on the outside and soft on the inside with a hole in the middle) saved me. They gave my nipples a chance to heal without them rubbing against fabric. And, my OB prescribed All Purpose Nipple Ointment, which was AWESOME. So, my advice is- find a LC who will do everything for you if you are in pain like that. Make her come to your house and do whatever it takes. And, try not to hate your friends who have perfect latchers and wax poetically about the beauty of BFing. It isn't that way for some of us in the beginning, but it doesn't mean it can't get better.

beachbum913 · October 2014

FTM here(formerly bazinga, changed my name), but I've worked in many day cares and wanted to chime in on things to look out for. I hope you don't mind.

1. Know your state ratios and count the childto teacher ratio when touring. Ex: NJ infants is 1:4; so a 5th baby in the room would require two teachers. Ideally, you want the facility to have more teachers than required by law, but that's hard to find. Try to tour when it's not nap time. .. The ratios do change when children are sleeping.

2. When you drop off, do the children go to their own room, or do they combine until a certain time? I worked at one facility that combined toddlers through kindergarten era until 8:30, and it was pure chaos. This is important because dropping off a child into a chaotic environment is HARD for everyone.

3. Will the director give a price sheet? I worked for a woman who wouldn't give out a price sheet because she changed her prices for each parent after learning their occupation (this woman was a gem of a boss).

4. Staff turn around. Visit often and see if the same staff members are working.

5. It may sound silly, but look at the art work. Does it look like the teacher did most of the work? Child art should be messy. Your child will develop more skills by doing things themselves, and "perfect" art projects may be a sign that the facility is more concerned with appearances than development.

6. Security. Sadly, it's important these days. Can anyone get in the building? Is there a code to enter? A finger print scan?

7. Check out the playground. Make sure there are options. The outside should have just as many choices for play as inside. Make sure there are activities for all age groups as well.

8. Ask about the teachers' early childhood background, and if they claim certifications, ask for documentation. I worked in a couple that claimed all their teachers were certified, when only one or two were.

9. Is parent involvement allowed? To what extent? If they say no, it's a big red flag. ECE should encourage parent involvement when possible.

10. Will you have to pay for time you're on vacation?

I'm sure i have so much more, but it's late here and I'm exhausted. I've seen a lot of bad, and I've seen a lot of good, and willing to answer any questions about this.

blueberries8 · October 2014

AMShark said:

FTM Group Questions:

Sleeping Arrangements: What do the BTDT moms suggest for sleeping arrangements? Lucie's list and Baby Bargains suggest that bassinets and such are a waste of money. One of them suggested a PNP with bassinet feature for the first several weeks before transitioning to the crib. What the BTDT moms have done and how well did it work?
For small homes/living areas - can a bassinet or pack n'play substitute for a crib for a while if there is currently no room for a full nursery?
Do you use the same bed arrangement for both naps & nighttime, or do you separate the two so that baby knows the difference?
Did you only use/buy a crib mattress for the crib? When did you start to transition into a crib?
N slept in a rock n' play next to our bed until she was 4 months old (the age when she could turn over and the RNP was no longer safe). Tons of people swear by the RNP, though all things being equal, if your babe will sleep on a flat surface (like a PNP) that is probably better. There are some concerns with using a RNP for night-time sleeping (flat head, maybe not ideal for airway since at an incline, etc.) and I encourage people to do their own research, but lots of people including us swear by the RNP because their babies sleep so well in it. N would also sometimes nap in her swing during the first month or so. At 4 months, we put a PNP in our room and that's where she slept, and at 5.5 months we moved her to her proper crib in her own room. Some people transition their baby to their own room earlier and some later or not at all, though I believe the current AAP recommendation is ~6 months.

Sleeping Habits: At what age did your LO's start to sleep longer throughout the night? Were there any techniques that you found helpful when it came to getting your LO to sleep better?
N started sleeping through the night consistently (7:30pm-6:30 or 7am) at 9 months. Before then we would go through phases of better sleep and worse sleep, which I am sure was a developmental thing. I remember around 4-5 months being very challenging. A big sleep issue for us was that N really used me as a human pacifier and when I was tired, I would just scoop her up and let her latch on whenever she woke up. I weaned at 9 months so that we could do a FET, and that's actually when her sleeping improved dramatically (after about 2 weeks of hell while she adjusted her expectations of not being able to nurseon-demand all night long!).

Baby Registry: If you had a registry, when did you have it completed? n/a

Child Care: What kinds of questions or things should the FTM's focus on when looking at daycare facilities? What things should we look for? We had a nanny for the first year. Our daughter is in daycare now. Important to me was the staff:child ratio and also whether the kids had structured stimulating activities. Also, if it is very difficult to get a spot because the younger classes are filled with younger siblings of kids already at the daycare/preschool, this is a great sign.

L&D: BTDT Mom's, prior to going into labor, what did you internal exams show (if you had one)? e.g. Did you start to dilate/efface in advance? Any BH or "practice" contractions? No dilation or signs of labor until contractions started, or water broke, etc?
How painful were your contractions on a scale of 1-10 (10 being most painful)? What birthing technique did you use to ease the pain?
If you had a doula, did you like her? I had an induction at 37.5 weeks. My cervix was very thin and soft but not dilated. Something interesting to know about induction: in my case they put a prostaglandin gel in my cervix and that was all I needed to be induced, no pitocin necessary. I was having productive contractions within 5-10 minutes of the gel. So, while there are a lot of induction horror stories it is also good to know the flip side -- that if you end up needing an induction for whatever reason and your body is ready it is possible to have a very low-intervention induction that is very close to if not identical to a natural labor. I thought I was going to get an epidural but my hematologist didn't allow it in the last moment. They did give me fentanyl for the pain but it didn't do a whole lot. In retrospect, I wish I had prepared for the possibility of not getting an epidural.

Pets/Fur kids: How did you acclimate your furry child(ren) to your new human addition(s)? Any tips for what should or shouldn't be done? n/a

Bouncer v. Swing: Opinions on bouncers vs. swings vs. rockers? Any favorite brands of either? N really loved her FP cradle n swing. It was pretty great. A lot of friends have the mamaroo -- I might check that out this time around.

Nursing: On a scale of 1 to10, describe the pain level of the very first time you nursed? Subsequent times? (Assume 10 is most painful, 1 is not painful at all).

ccam · October 2014

Sleeping arrangements - DS slept in our room in the PNP bassinet until about 4 months. During rough nights and after his last early morning feeding, I would put DS in the RNP just to get a little more sleep. Until he transitioned to his crib, naps pretty much happened anywhere - bouncer, swing, RNP, etc. Once he was in his crib, both naps and nighttime sleep happened in his crib.

Sleeping habits - DS was swaddled until he started rolling over - he loved being swaddled and it helped him to fall asleep. We did sleep training at 4.5 / 5 months. DS was so ready to sleep through the night, he just didn't know how to soothe himself to sleep. He's been sleeping through the night ever since.

Baby registry - I finished my registry right before my shower invitations went out. I did the main registering in the store and then tweaked it online over a long period of time (not sure exactly when during pregnancy I started the registry but definitely after my A/S).

Child care - Since DS goes part time, we picked a center, so that quickly narrowed down our search. Things that were important to us were security, sick policy, hours/holidays, curriculum, time outside, whether or not the teachers were kept up to date with things like CPR training, etc. You really need to go with your gut when you walk in there. You will get a feel for the place and whether or not it would be a good fit for you and your child. And since the time in the infant room goes so quickly, be sure to also focus on the older rooms and whether or not they potty train, take the kids outside everyday, what kind of curriculum they have, etc. because before you know it, you'll be in those rooms!

L&D - I was dilated for weeks and was told by multiple OBs that I "won't make it to my due date". Ha, fat chance! I was induced at 41 weeks. So pretty much, I wouldn't put my stock in internal exams. I think contractions during an induction are probably a little different than going into labor on your own. With the Pitocin and once they broke my water, holy contractions! They were up there, like a 9, and then I got an epidural...

Pets - none for us.

Bouncers / swings - We had both. DS was a bigger fan of the bouncer. It was great to sit him in if I had to take a shower/get ready and he was up or when I was cooking dinner, etc. He was not a huge fan of the swing, but every kid is different with that.

Nursing - The first time wasn't extremely painful. It was after the constant nursing and moisture that I was just raw. So things like putting on a bra or showering were not comfortable. I also had a really hard time BFing since DS had a hard shallow latch and was tongue tied which ended up affecting my supply. I ended up using a nipple shield and switching to just pumping at around 6 weeks. Again, everyone is different and I hope to have a better experience this time around.

TJ1979 · October 2014

I'm a day late, but still wanted to answer anyway. Because I'm a know-it-all.

AMShark said:

FTM Group Questions:

Sleeping Arrangements: What do the BTDT moms suggest for sleeping arrangements? Lucie's list and Baby Bargains suggest that bassinets and such are a waste of money. One of them suggested a PNP with bassinet feature for the first several weeks before transitioning to the crib. What the BTDT moms have done and how well did it work?
For small homes/living areas - can a bassinet or pack n'play substitute for a crib for a while if there is currently no room for a full nursery? My babies sleep in a PNP in my room for the first 6 months. Then transition to a crib in their room. I think a PNP would be a perfectly fine crib for a while, but won't be very comfortable for LO once they get out of the bassinet portion and down into the regular size PNP.
Do you use the same bed arrangement for both naps & nighttime, or do you separate the two so that baby knows the difference? We do night sleep in the PNP and naps in the swing.
Did you only use/buy a crib mattress for the crib? When did you start to transition into a crib? 6m

Sleeping Habits: At what age did your LO's start to sleep longer throughout the night? Were there any techniques that you found helpful when it came to getting your LO to sleep better? My first didn't sleep until she was 10 months. It was awful. But she had reflux, food intolerances, then a bout of bronchitis that lasted 4 months. #2 started sleeping better around 6 weeks, but things got worse around the 4 month wakeful period. We are just now getting on good track, at 5 months, 1 week.

Baby Registry: If you had a registry, when did you have it completed? I had it complete before baby shower invites were sent out.

Child Care: What kinds of questions or things should the FTM's focus on when looking at daycare facilities? What things should we look for?
Trust your gut! Walk into every DC facility you can. Get that first impression gut feeling, and write it down. Then narrow down from the ones you get a good gut feeling about.
L&D: BTDT Mom's, prior to going into labor, what did you internal exams show (if you had one)? e.g. Did you start to dilate/efface in advance? I decline all internal exams, except the one at 36 weeks where they test you for GBS. Any BH or "practice" contractions? Yep, starting around 20 weeks, and picking up the more active I was. No dilation or signs of labor until contractions started, or water broke, etc?
How painful were your contractions on a scale of 1-10 (10 being most painful)? What birthing technique did you use to ease the pain? I did a med free birth. I don't think of the contractions as painful, so much as intense. Breathe, breathe, breathe. It's really hard to relax into the contractions, but if you fight them they are much worse.
If you had a doula, did you like her?

Pets/Fur kids: How did you acclimate your furry child(ren) to your new human addition(s)? Any tips for what should or shouldn't be done? My parents brought a baby blanket home for the pups to smell. They wanted to sniff the baby at first, but as soon as she cried, they took off. They looked at me like "I didn't do it!" They mostly ignored her until she was eating solid foods, and dropping them off her high chair for them to eat. Now they are all bff. (The cats have never cared one way or the other about the babies.)

Bouncer v. Swing: Opinions on bouncers vs. swings vs. rockers? Any favorite brands of either? Swing all the way baby! I couldn't imagine life without our swing. We have the Fisher Price Snugabunny. LOVE it! E didn't ever use her bouncer, but P likes it.

Nursing: On a scale of 1 to10, describe the pain level of the very first time you nursed? Subsequent times? (Assume 10 is most painful, 1 is not painful at all).
First time? 2? The more she sucked with a terrible latch, the worse it got, until they were cracked and bleeding and definitely a 10. Sorry. But if it's a bad latch and you are in pain GET IT FIXED! Don't be like me and think you can power through it! With my second baby, it was never worse than a 3, but for the most part was a 1.

Congrats to all of you and I can't wait to meet you all over at SAIF!

itsmevkb · October 2014

Sleeping Arrangements:

I beg to differ with anything that says a bassinet is a waste of money. For my first two I had an Arm's Reach mini-cosleeper which was great but for my next two I had a Rock 'n Play and all I can say is that thing rocks! It's so lightweight and easy to take up or downstairs or over to grandma's and your baby gets to sleep on an incline and you can rock them in it and I just love it!
I used one or the other for at least three months with each of my babies. Then, when they were getting too big, I moved them to a crib. EXCEPT for my youngest, who was in a pack 'n play for a year and a half before her brother vacated the crib. She never seemed to mind being in a pack 'n play, of course, she didn't know any different.

A crib mattress can also be used with most toddler beds so I've used ours for that as well as having used it in the crib.

Early on when they are in the Rock 'n Play I have them sleep there both at night and for naps when they aren't being held by me for naps. Like I said above, I transitioned them to a crib/pack 'n play all around three months. We are pretty cold turkey about things so one day the rock 'n play just disappeared and they were in the crib.

Sleeping Habits: I think the latest it took any of mine to sleep completely through the night was four months. Don't ever think that putting them to bed later will make them sleep longer. That doesn't work and, in fact, sometimes the opposite ends up being true that if you put them to bed earlier, they will sleep longer.

L&D: With my first I had no braxton hicks and the day I went into labor I saw my doctor and was told I was only a fingertip dilated and would definitely not go into labor for another two weeks. Yea, wrong. My water broke that night and I had my son the next day. I never had any painful contractions with him if you can believe that. My water broke, hours and hours later I was only have very mild contractions so they gave me pitocin, I got an epidural and had a basically pain-free delivery.
My other labors where all a bit different with two being very fast and furious and one being an induction. With the last three I was at least 3cm when I was checked and with the induction I was over 5cm when I checked into the hospital. I have had some braxton hicks with my last three pregnancies.
How painful were the contractions? I think I'm pretty unusual in that I don't really feel the contractions until I'm literally at transition. Sounds great, except when you consider that means I wake up with a bad contraction and literally give birth 40 minutes later. It's a good thing I dont' live too far from our hospital and all my babies came at night and not during rush hour. Now, back to the pain, they hurt, I'm not going to lie about that. Mine were quite intense, literally the most intense pain I've ever felt. With my second, I screamed a bunch (like those crazy ladies you see on tv) and with my fourth, I sort of just accepted that there would be no pain relief and concentrated on trying to breath like a normal person. That didn't really work though. I much prefer an epidural :-)

Bouncer v. Swing: I don't really get bouncers but have had a swing for all my babies. However, one word of warning, if you end up with a bigger baby, you may not get a ton of use out of a swing.

Nursing: I never had any pain nursing. I only nursed my first though.

mrs.willie · November 2014

I'm late to the party!!!

Sleeping Arrangements: I also think a bassinet is a waste of money. You don’t use it for that long and I can’t think of anything you could use it for after, besides another child. DS slept in the bassinet part of the PNP next to our bed. It was great for us. He stayed in there until he was almost 3 months old and transitioned to the crib. I think the bassinet part holds up to 15lbs. We used the PNP a lot for naps, trips and if we were at a friend’s house on special occasions. I don’t think it would be an issue to substitute for a crib for a while if you had to. DS napped pretty much everywhere when he was an infant - pretty much whatever he liked or was convenient… PNP, crib, my arms, swing, bouncy seat. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Sleeping Habits: LO will start sleeping longer a lot sooner than you think. It’s like heaven the first time they sleep 5-6 hours, but then you’re the one awake checking on them. The issue at nighttime started around the time he was 1. He would wake up screaming every night. The pedi said to put him to bed in his crib, instead of rocking him to sleep, because if they wake up in a different environment they become scared not knowing where they are. She said to let him cry it out. DH wasn’t so sure this would work. It took 2-3 nights and really wasn’t as awful as we though it would be.

Baby Registry: I think most complete it around 20 weeks. IF brain made me nervous about completing it, so I was getting yelled at to get on it a few weeks after that.

Child Care: I worked in daycare previously. I visited a few when I was looking for DS. One I definitely did not feel comfortable sending my baby there. You’ll know a lot by what your gut tells you. I visited a few centers and ultimately ended up with a home daycare whom a friend new. I never really thought I’d end up with a home daycare, not sure why, but I love it there and so does my DS.

I would look at child/staff ratios, if they combine classrooms in the morning/afternoon and what age groups are together, what they provide and what you need to bring, any special needs your child may have – food allergies, medications, etc., how the teachers and children are interacting during your visit, vacation/sick time – most places require you to pay for any days missed or closing, some charge a discounted rate, weather closings, sick policy, security.

L&D: I definitely had BH contractions, but I can’t remember when they started. I did not dilate or efface in advance. The OBs kept telling me FTM’s usually go late and expect to do so. If nothing was happening by a certain date, they would induce me. I was in L&D a few days before 39 week because I wasn’t feeling much movement, even after eating something sweet, drinking juice and laying on my side like they say to do. They checked everything out… still no dilating or anything, but the monitor said I was having some pretty strong contractions that I wasn’t feeling. My water broke in the evening at 39w2d, although I didn’t know because it was more like I peed myself a little rather than Niagara Falls everybody said it would be. Contractions started a few hours later. All after they kept telling me expect to go late. I ultimately ended up with a c/s, which really wasn't too awful.

Obviously contractions were painful, but definitely not a 10 before my epidural. It was bearable. And DH was upset that he didn’t get to speed down the highway yelling “Lady in labor!” Honestly, I had an AWFUL viral infection somewhere in my abdomen last year that was MUCH more painful than labor. I was crawling across the floor because I couldn’t walk. I would’ve rather been in labor. They were all set to bring me in to take my appendix out before doing a CT scan. Ended up ordering one first and that wasn’t it.

Bouncer v. Swing: We had a bouncy seat and swing for DS. He liked both. I know some babies may not end up liking one or the other, but there’s really no way to tell until you try it. I guess whatever you think you have room for and would use the most. Bouncy seats are easy to bring with you to family/friend’s houses also.

~~* FTM & BTDTM play date! 10/30 ~~*

Re: ~~* FTM &amp; BTDTM play date! 10/30 ~~*

Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)

Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old

Married on 03.01.2014

Officially TTC since April 2014

January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later

April 2014- First RE appointment

July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

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*~*~* FTM &amp; BTDTM play date! 10/30 *~*~*

Re: *~*~* FTM &amp;amp; BTDTM play date! 10/30 *~*~*

Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)

Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old

Married on 03.01.2014

Officially TTC since April 2014

January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later

April 2014- First RE appointment

July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

~~* FTM & BTDTM play date! 10/30 ~~*

Re: ~~* FTM & BTDTM play date! 10/30 ~~*