March 2015 Moms

Babysitter Woes...vent

I have a wonderful in-home babysitter that we use for DS. She is so loving and patient and takes great care of him. She also watches three other babies, one of them being her own. I asked her today just to verify that she had space for DD in the spring.

And here's where I'm FUMING... she said one of the other kids' moms has the spot reserved already for a baby they HAVEN'T EVEN CONCEIVED YET.

What?! I had to reserve a space for a baby before I even got pregnant? For a small, in-home lady? WTF?! That is so not fair. First come, first serve lady.

I am heartbroken at the thought of having to eventually find a new sitter for LO's. Who the hell reserves a spot before they even start trying for a baby?!
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Re: Babysitter Woes...vent

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  • Honestly, that's really common where I live, but usually at centers, not in-home care. Most centers here have at least a 1 year waiting list, so you have to reserve a spot before you are pregnant, by at least 4 months. It's insane, but it's reality here. That said, if this other couple isn't even TRYING yet, I think your lady would be nuts to not let you have the space. 
    I'd ask her if you could have the space for now, and if/when this other couple who isn't pregnant yet does have a baby, you would find a new placement IF she doesn't have space for both at that time. 
  • She just said she promised them, and doesn't want to go back on the promise. Apparently she promised it to them before I even got pregnant. Which is worse- I am 22 weeks pregnant. So you promised someone more than 22 weeks ago they could have a spot, and they weren't even going to start trying until the end of the year?!
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  • I would expect this for an academy (Montessori, Goddard, etc) but not for an in home lady. There are several around me with 1 yr waiting lists as well.
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  • No they haven't even started trying yet. I told my babysitter as soon as my stick was dry lol. I was also the first person to sign up with her when she started the daycare.
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  • I'd really ask her if you can have the spot until the family that reserved it needs it... that way she gets income, and you get a spot... and who knows if/when the other family will actually need the spot. 
  • Do you think it's possible that maybe she doesn't want to add another child so she's making it up? It'd be odd but some people do odd things just to avoid confrontation cause this sounds bsc
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  • I'd ask her to put your kid in a reserve spot in case this lady isn't the fertile Myrtle she is assuming she will be. You can always research alternate caregivers in the meantime in case the woman does conceive.
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  • btrebus said:
    She just said she promised them, and doesn't want to go back on the promise. Apparently she promised it to them before I even got pregnant. Which is worse- I am 22 weeks pregnant. So you promised someone more than 22 weeks ago they could have a spot, and they weren't even going to start trying until the end of the year?!
    At first I thought maybe they were paying a small amount to keep the spot reserved, but now I agree with PPs. Maybe she doesn't know how to say "I have my hands full with 4 total, and can't imagine another." and is afraid to lose anyone's business? 
    Whatever the reasoning is, it's shady and bad business. Is she bffs with the other family? 'Cause this sounds like some junior high drama she's bringing on herself. 

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I hope you can get it sorted soon. :(

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  • If you have to find a new sitter, do you plan on moving your son too? I wasn't sure. Because she is losing 2 children on the chance this other couple will have a child. This just doesn't make good business sense. I agree with others. I'd ask her if you can have the spot if they still haven't conceived (or due date is far off) but the time you'd need the spot. That would at least give you more time to find other arrangements. Good luck!
  • When I went on mat leave with my daughter I was told that she didn't have space for my son and daughter. Then afew months before I went back to work she had room... Maybe she will have room when you are ready to go back.
    Saving a space for a not conceived child is very strange!
  • Sounds like she lacks common sense.
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