JFF - Common misconceptions

peggels24 · October 2014

MusicFanatic said:

peggels24 said:

I'm very shy when it comes to people that I don't know - people assume I am a bitch when they meet me.

I am also this way. I'm super quiet when I first meet someone, it takes me time to open. I'm horrid at small talk with a stranger. Because of that, I've been called a snob or bitch. But I'm so not.. I'm really just shy until I know someone. It takes me an hour or so to kinda "open up". By that point, the person has moved on and labeled me.

Oh I hate small talk! I'm so awful at it. I always feel like I'm prying into someone's life when I ask questions so I just don't - and then people think that I don't like them.

I am much better if I met someone through somebody else. Like if I'm meeting my friend A for dinner and she brings her friend B - no problem talking to B at all.

marvan5 · October 2014

Oh and add me to resting bitch face roster. People are so intimidated by me! Must be that and my goody goody misconception that I was never invited to parties in high school. Their loss.

MusicFanatic · October 2014

peggels24 said:

MusicFanatic said:

peggels24 said:

I'm very shy when it comes to people that I don't know - people assume I am a bitch when they meet me.

I am also this way. I'm super quiet when I first meet someone, it takes me time to open. I'm horrid at small talk with a stranger. Because of that, I've been called a snob or bitch. But I'm so not.. I'm really just shy until I know someone. It takes me an hour or so to kinda "open up". By that point, the person has moved on and labeled me.

Oh I hate small talk! I'm so awful at it. I always feel like I'm prying into someone's life when I ask questions so I just don't - and then people think that I don't like them.

I am much better if I met someone through somebody else. Like if I'm meeting my friend A for dinner and she brings her friend B - no problem talking to B at all.

Blahhhh small talk.

The last time I got my hair done it was so awkward. Hair dressers should be required to be GREAT at small talking. And she was so QUIET. And I was quiet- I usually depend on them to spark the talk. Then once we're going, I'm fine. I swear you could hear a pin drop. The whole time.

Yet I can get in front of an entire ballet class and I'm at ease. I can teach, talk to them.. I don't even get nervous if it's a first day.

Apparently, my small talk or snobbiness is limited to certain situations

Lanatir · October 2014

My parents got this a lot and then I got this some growing up--

Farmers aren't smart.

Uh-huh. First off, farmers have to be to figure out a lot of the stuff and run a successful business. Secondly, have fun with all of your book knowledge when the world economy crashes and food isn't available in stores.

(Edit to add-- lol I totally added a potential misconception-- that people who think farmers aren't smart don't know how to grow food, either. Ooooops.)

cabbeeby · October 2014

Add me to the RBF list... except I'm not really that nice. Maybe about half as mean as my face looks.

LadyXaverian · October 2014

This whole thread makes me wonder if the whole "resting bitch face" thing is a term created by men who just think women should look happy all the time?? I mean, if we all have it, maybe it's not a real thing. Maybe it's just how non smiling faces look. Is there a male equivalent, or is it only women who are "supposed" to look happy and warm and fuzzy and welcoming to everyone she meets?

Deep thoughts.

honeybeee3 · October 2014

It bothers me when people assume that since we already have a boy, we are unhappy that we are not having a girl this time around. Not true! I'm happy we're having another boy. Plus, the sex of my LOs has never mattered to me, all I care about is that my baby is healthy.

luciddreamer106 · October 2014

MusicFanatic said:

peggels24 said:

I'm very shy when it comes to people that I don't know - people assume I am a bitch when they meet me.

I am also this way. I'm super quiet when I first meet someone, it takes me time to open. I'm horrid at small talk with a stranger. Because of that, I've been called a snob or bitch. But I'm so not.. I'm really just shy until I know someone. It takes me an hour or so to kinda "open up". By that point, the person has moved on and labeled me.

I'm the same way. People have told me that they initially thought I was a bitch or snob. I'm just shy and quiet! I'm not good at small talk and it just takes time for me to warm up to people. It's different at work when I tall to patients and their families, I'm much more outgoing right away.

WormyGo · October 2014

I'm also a scientist. People always assume this means you are an introvert with no social skills. In my field our work is always collaborative and you work with people daily. I actually like small talk and interacting with lot different kinds of people and students.

I come from rural Pennsylvania and grew up in the town my mother grew up in but now I work at a University in a city in another state. These means I get both sides of the assuming, people I work with assume most of my relatives are ignorant hicks, many people from my home town now assume I'm rich (college professors are comfortable but not rich) and that I now feel I'm too good for them. I would actually move back to the area if there was a job in my field.

rainbows · October 2014

I was taught how to make small talk and interact with people on a short time basis .... so, people who dont know me well dont realize im a complete introvert and HATE having to converse with people I dont know. I have no problem sitting in silence for hours, but other people find it awkward and so im forced to talk back.

caveat. If its a topic that im interested in I have no problem joining in.

WormyGo · October 2014

People seem to think that scientists are all people who want to just sit in the lab and not talk, and that somehow when you work in a lab it is a solitary occupation. I think some scientists are like this and that sometimes we get carried away with talking science when asked about what we do, which can come off as lack of social skills. But really I don't know where it comes from since most of the people I work with are outgoing and social.

TiffanyJill · November 2014

I work construction. I have a degree in kinesiology, but when I moved back home to my small town, there wasn't much a need for it. I worked a few jobs and am in school to become a teacher, but this pays the bills. When people ask me what I do and I tell them I work construction they look so baffled! A lot ask me what I exactly do and really, I do everything... Dump truck, excavator, dozer, labor... And occasionally office work. Plus laid off in the winter which will be wonderful when lo arrives! I want to tell people when they ask "I PAY MY BILLS" BUT instead I just smile and listen to their disbelieving rant

4littlebears · November 2014

I'm a little sensitive tonight. Someone posted an ignorant cartoon drawing on Facebook that depicted kids with different sensitivities and allergies as all complainers, who are ungrateful on Halloween because they're asking for different candy.

I don't get why this is ok. Allergic kids are the one disability group that adults feel it's ok and funny to make fun of and put down. This absolutely sickens me, literally I wanted to throw up after reading it. A lot of people have misconceptions about allergic people/children, that they are complainers, making it up, or the latest one is that they are misdiagnosed. I find this one highly offensive because you can't witness an anaphylactic reaction and misdiagnose it or make it up. Why??? Why on earth is this ok??? It's not ok. Why do I have to fight so hard to have my kids' disabilities respected?

My kids go to a peanut and tree nut restricted school (nuts are not allowed, but technically for insurance purposes can't claim to be "nut free". For Halloween, my son brought home from school a latex glove filled with candy. 2/3 of it was cross contaminated "made in a facility" and one was even a Hersey's with almonds. Really??? I feel like nobody takes it seriously and nobody is on our side. The side of innocent children who could actually die if they put the wrong food in their mouth. So, yeah I guess allergic people are often misunderstood. In a very dangerous way. Thanks for letting me vent.

becks2012 · November 2014

I am by training an engineer. The steriotypes are endless... Most of the time, my clothing matches, my shoes are not always practical, I like working with people, I consider myself reasonably attractive, and generally do not think I am a shy person at all.

I am however pretty blunt and don't put up with much.

nolansmom08 · November 2014

I, too, have resting bitch face...I've worked hard to not have it at work, but in my personal life it's there...especially if I'm not comfortable (i.e. with people I don't know or like). I'm from Wisconsin...I hate beer and most cheese, and I'm not overweight. I work in HR, but that doesn't mean I'm perfect at work or that I want to fire someone when I hear them swear at work or catch them looking at something non-work related. I HATE hearing "shhhh...HR is here."

cmaceachern · November 2014

Yup, being an east coaster you either love it or have it!

KnitPixy · November 2014

I come from a well off family. My father has worked incredibly hard over his career and has done very well for himself. People assume that because of this I should be some spoiled bitch. Yes I had a SAHM and yes my parents have helped to set me up for success in life but they also taught me to work for what I want and to never judge someone based on the amount of money they may or may not have.

I get told all the time that "you don't act like you came from a rich family" when people find out a bit about my background. It drives me nuts! I am a normal person who was lucky enough to be born in to a very hard working family.

The other misconception that drives me nuts (okay makes me outright stabby!) is when people assume that. I developed diabetes because I didn't eat right/weigh to much etc. sorry folks but developing diabetes, regardless of the type is rarely solely because of lifestyle choices (yes it can be a factor, in some cases a big factor) but to blame someone for their disease is disgusting! Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease that is usually developed in childhood. They still don't know exactly what triggers the onset though most scientists and doctors agree that it is usually some sort of stressor that sets it off

efujan · November 2014

Lanatir said:

My parents got this a lot and then I got this some growing up--

Farmers aren't smart.

Uh-huh. First off, farmers have to be to figure out a lot of the stuff and run a successful business. Secondly, have fun with all of your book knowledge when the world economy crashes and food isn't available in stores.

(Edit to add-- lol I totally added a potential misconception-- that people who think farmers aren't smart don't know how to grow food, either. Ooooops.)

AMEN to that!!!

We also got a lot of "rich farmer" comments with that, too, which always struck me funny because how can you be "so uneducated" yet "rich" at the same time? (Ever hear of asset-rich & cash-poor? That's how we grew up!!)

I also get a lot of comments because I still work in agriculture - like I "wasn't smart enough to do something better". Sorry, I'm not stupid. I graduated cum laude from my university, have a Master's Degree, I just choose to work in a field that's close to my heart - and I feel very fortunate that I can do that!

dash419 · November 2014

MusicFanatic said:

I get a lot of misconceptions based on my nationality. (i'm part Japanese and Polynesian)

Not that long ago when I met someone for the first time I got "wow, you don't sound Asian like you look!" .. uh. I said "I'm American, and was born here" and they said "but you look Asian!! Your voice just doesn't match your face" ~X(

I also had someone stop me on the streets a few years ago and ask where the best Chinese restaurant in town was for their dinner. A) who does this???! Not all Asians are Chinese and people shouldn't assume so and C) say what?

That's really been done to me my entire life. So I'm pretty careful about making misconceptions about entire "groups" of people. Unfortunately, a lot of people aren't.

This. I'm Korean AND adopted with a completely American name. I get asked all the time about where to find good Korean food. If I know so-and-so, because yes, all Asians know each other just like we all look alike. I get men hitting on me in Korean, which I don't speak. I get told I speak English very well and get asked where my accent is. I get asked if I'm from the "good side" or the "bad side". I got told once that I spoke like I was white- sorry, didn't know I could speak like I was a color. And one time when I went in for an interview I had the person interviewing me start the interview with "From your name you're not at all what I expected".

I'm a people watcher and I'm shy which people tend to mistake for being stuck up. Not in the least. My SO & I both have tattoos, though his are more visible than mine. People often assume we're a certain way because of this and are quite surprised to find out that we're not degenerates.

9513 · November 2014

KnitPixy said:

The other misconception that drives me nuts (okay makes me outright stabby!) is when people assume that. I developed diabetes because I didn't eat right/weigh to much etc. sorry folks but developing diabetes, regardless of the type is rarely solely because of lifestyle choices (yes it can be a factor, in some cases a big factor) but to blame someone for their disease is disgusting! Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease that is usually developed in childhood. They still don't know exactly what triggers the onset though most scientists and doctors agree that it is usually some sort of stressor that sets it off

This! My husband has T1D and people are always making comments about what he can and can't eat... He handles it better than I do. It gets to him sometimes but it drives me batty ALL the time. He is an adult, he can manage his own autoimmune disease (which you probably have no real clue about), thank you very much!

MusicFanatic · November 2014

dash419 said:
This. I'm Korean AND adopted with a completely American name. I get asked all the time about where to find good Korean food. If I know so-and-so, because yes, all Asians know each other just like we all look alike. I get men hitting on me in Korean, which I don't speak. I get told I speak English very well and get asked where my accent is.

lol I'm told I speak English well too. I also have an 'American' name.. and people say it doesn't match my face (whatever this means). My first name is your common 70's/80's name... because my father loved it, and he's not Japanese. So they compromised. My middle name is Japanese. But no one hears that.. just my first name.. "Your name totally doesn't match you" .. ok.

dash419 · November 2014

MusicFanatic said:

dash419 said:
This. I'm Korean AND adopted with a completely American name. I get asked all the time about where to find good Korean food. If I know so-and-so, because yes, all Asians know each other just like we all look alike. I get men hitting on me in Korean, which I don't speak. I get told I speak English very well and get asked where my accent is.

lol I'm told I speak English well too. I also have an 'American' name.. and people say it doesn't match my face (whatever this means). My first name is your common 70's/80's name... because my father loved it, and he's not Japanese. So they compromised. My middle name is Japanese. But no one hears that.. just my first name.. "Your name totally doesn't match you" .. ok.

lol I get the name thing too. My first and middle names were an uber popular 80's name combination because as my mom says "it wasn't popular when I named you".

Lanatir · November 2014

Wait. I have another one.

DH is 6' 3". Anytime anyone sees DD (who is 2.5 and 38 inches tall, which is like 4 year old size), they assume her height comes from DH. Sorry, at 5' 7", I'm not short for a woman and DH is the only one in his family over 6 feet. My family, on the other hand, has all of 2 men under 6 feet and most of the women are my height or taller. I know I'm the shortie, but height definitely comes from me.

KnitPixy · November 2014

@9513 "but doesn't that have sugar in it? You shouldn't eat that!" My absolute favourite stupid diabetes comment I've ever gotten. Thankfully you do eventually start to become a bit immune to it. My favourite retort is that my BIL has a friend with diabetes who works in a sugar factory. We aren't going to melt like the wicked witch of the west if exposed to sugar

@efujan‌ @Lanatir‌ I'm a prairie girl born and raised and while I have never been directly involved in agriculture I can honestly say that farmers are some of the best and smartest people I've ever met! The amount of work I saw the aggie students put in at university was amazing and their overall work ethic is still something I aspire to.

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