Hope you all have a fun and safe Halloween with the littles.
I'm sure there will be plenty of aggravation, there always is.
Spontaneous pregnancy #1
DD1 July 31, 2011
Trying for #2 since Oct 11
732973 Clomid Cycles
2 IUIs
3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!!

Re: DDF Halloween Edition
DD,
When I eventually go postal on all of the insensitive ass holes, let's keep it between us, okay? We both know they deserve it. Stupid bitches. Fuck everyone. Fuck everything.
And seriously, if one more person crosses me with a vomit-worthy AW pregnancy announcement today, I will be busting out an arsenal of passive aggressive Facebook posts and make sure they know it's directed towards them. That or I choke a bitch. So all of those fertiles surrounding me best check my rage meter before they flaunt a pregnancy Halloween costume in front of me expecting me to congratulate them or send me an email squeeing their pregnancy a week after my due date for my deceased daughter. I am not in the fucking mood today.
P.S. to 2IF, thanks for allowing me to drop in to spew some profanity and get out some of my anger. You're among a very small sliver of the population who actually help lower my blood pressure rather than making me want to explode.
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
I may or may not be cutting bitches with @cheesypeas.
Fuck everything. Fuck AF. This Is by far the worst AF of my life. Completely mortified at work yesterday when I bleed through all feminine products known to man and left a pool of it all over a chair. Fucking awesome.
I am embracing the rage.
BFP #7 (beyond surprised again!) 4/26/16. EDD 1/5/17. beautiful betas!!!! and then near-fatal hemorrhagic corpus luteum. turns out baby was ectopic after all; another lap 5/6 (@24dpo).
the universe can fuck off.
"You are overly paranoid and delusional that every one is out to get you." -lastsliverofhope
@jodee37, hugs to you my fellow rage filled sista! I'm so sorry to hear about the AF nightmare. I have had to resort to a menstrual cup. Blood thinners and AF are an incredibly messy combination.
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
Spontaneous pregnancy #1
DD1 July 31, 2011
Trying for #2 since Oct 11
Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!!
Also, I cannot handle all the pregnancy announcements right now. Everyone I know is on baby 2 or 3 now and I've just been hiding, watching baby videos of DS and wishing I had taken more and spent more time enjoying the baby stage, as hard a baby as he was.
I am so frustrated because I feel like I am so much better armed to handle another baby, even one with Autism. I just want another chance to do it "right-" I know we didn't fail DS, but how much better could things have been for him if I knew then what I know now? I love my son, but I do not know what it is like to parent a "typical" kid and I want that. I want it so much. I never got over the grieving process after DS's diagnosis- I think I still mourn the loss of our original expectations and on top of that we have to readjust our expectations for what our family will be.
Just feeling sorry for myself this week/month. I need to get over it before I sink into a depression. The amazing child I do have needs me and deserves a fully-functioning mother. Fuck 2IF for taking that away from him, even if just a little bit at a time.
Please make the massive, nonstop headache stop (thank you Follistim). I am borderline non-functional with this headache. I am so blurred by the headache that I didn't even get upset when it took them nearly 2 hours to move me through the doctor's office this morning for bloodwork, ultrasound, physical and meeting with nurse (sigh).
I will say that I am thankful that things are looking good so far. Praying my bloodwork still looks good on call back and that we're moving forward. [In 2011 they cancelled my first fresh cycle about a week and a half in - so I am a bundle of nerves each time I go praying that all is well and I don't have to stop and then start this nightmare all over again.]
PCOS and MF
Two failed rounds IUI in 2010
IVF #1 in 2011 - BFP 8/5/11 - Our IVF miracle was born 4/8/12
FET 9/23/13; BFP -Twins-10/3/13; EDD 6/10/14; MC 11/1/13; D&C 11/4/13
FET 3/28/14; BFN - 4/7/14
IVF #2 - Transfer 2 embryos 11/14/14; BFP 11/24/14 - Beta 265;
11/26/14 - Beta 612; 11/28/14 - Beta 1263; 12/1/14 - Beta 3571;
12/3/14 - first u/s - two gestational sacs; 12/17/14 - two healthy heartbeats (132 and 134)
Our IVF miracles were born 7/16/15
We waited over 5 frigging months for a specialist appointment for my son because my stupid doctor's office screwed up the requisition multiple times.
It was a two hour commute (because my stupid doctor's office gave us the wrong address) and over an hour wait.
The doctor spent less than 5 min with us and in that time he implied my son has behavioural issues that would make school difficult (ironically my son was missing an assembly for this appointment where he was being presented with an award for GOOD behaviour) and he told my kid he was making up pain...when we left my son said "mommy I wasn't lying!". Plus we have test results which say otherwise. I thought doctors relied on science!
I'm just so angry and drained. We aren't sure where to go from here.
DS #1: April 2010
DS #2: July 2015 (preemie born at 31 weeks) - our little miracle conceived through ART - unexplained secondary infertility/adenomyosis
For her benefit she really did not want to tell me the dream because she knew it would hurt my feelings and it has sent me spiraling this afternoon.
DX: Severe MFI 9/1/11
Because of Undescended testicle at birth
IVF #1 October BFN; 5 snowbabies
FET: November/December 2011
ET: 12/7/11; Beta 1: 12/16/11: 66 Beta 2: 12/19/11: 212! 1st ultrasound 1/3/12! Graduated 1/10/12: heartbeat 160
SAIF Always Welcome