DDF Halloween Edition

pettycrocker

Hope you all have a fun and safe Halloween with the littles. 

I'm sure there will be plenty of aggravation, there always is. 

CheesyPeas

DD,

When I eventually go postal on all of the insensitive ass holes, let's keep it between us, okay?  We both know they deserve it.  Stupid bitches.  Fuck everyone.  Fuck everything. 

And seriously, if one more person crosses me with a vomit-worthy AW pregnancy announcement today, I will be busting out an arsenal of passive aggressive Facebook posts and make sure they know it's directed towards them.  That or I choke a bitch.  So all of those fertiles surrounding me best check my rage meter before they flaunt a pregnancy Halloween costume in front of me expecting me to congratulate them or send me an email squeeing their pregnancy a week after my due date for my deceased daughter.  I am not in the fucking mood today.

P.S. to 2IF, thanks for allowing me to drop in to spew some profanity and get out some of my anger.  You're among a very small sliver of the population who actually help lower my blood pressure rather than making me want to explode.

Jodee37

DDF,

I may or may not be cutting bitches with @cheesypeas.

Fuck everything. Fuck AF. This Is by far the worst AF of my life. Completely mortified at work yesterday when I bleed through all feminine products known to man and left a pool of it all over a chair. Fucking awesome.

I am embracing the rage.

CheesyPeas

@jodee37, hugs to you my fellow rage filled sista!  I'm so sorry to hear about the AF nightmare.  I have had to resort to a menstrual cup.  Blood thinners and AF are an incredibly messy combination.

pettycrocker

@cheesypeas and @jodee37

Cheesy... Come back home, we miss  

Sincerely, 

All potatoes

pdxveg

DDF,

I wish the nurses at my RE could graphically describe the difference between spotting and real flow so I could know what the hell is going on.  I am so annoyed with my fucking body that I could just scream.

I am worried that I am actually on CD1, but I won't get into the RE until next week so it will be too late (I assume) to have a medicated cycle.  I just want to get on with it.  The thought of waiting 30+ days to start trying again is so disheartening.  I feel like I have been out of the game for forever.

annibes

Hugs @CheesyPeas‌ and @Jodee37‌

annibes

DDF... This is an open letter to AF/body: I hate you. Thanks a lot for being a total mind fuck this month. We get bad news about DH's s/a and then you go ahead and decide to wait and make this the longest cycle I've had in 4 years of trying. And now I suspect you'll be showing up with a rage today, just in time for cleaning, trick-or-treat, and my soccer game.

Also, I cannot handle all the pregnancy announcements right now. Everyone I know is on baby 2 or 3 now and I've just been hiding, watching baby videos of DS and wishing I had taken more and spent more time enjoying the baby stage, as hard a baby as he was.

I am so frustrated because I feel like I am so much better armed to handle another baby, even one with Autism. I just want another chance to do it "right-" I know we didn't fail DS, but how much better could things have been for him if I knew then what I know now? I love my son, but I do not know what it is like to parent a "typical" kid and I want that. I want it so much. I never got over the grieving process after DS's diagnosis- I think I still mourn the loss of our original expectations and on top of that we have to readjust our expectations for what our family will be.

Just feeling sorry for myself this week/month. I need to get over it before I sink into a depression. The amazing child I do have needs me and deserves a fully-functioning mother. Fuck 2IF for taking that away from him, even if just a little bit at a time.

lawmom747

DDS,

Please make the massive, nonstop headache stop (thank you Follistim).  I am borderline non-functional with this headache.  I am so blurred by the headache that I didn't even get upset when it took them nearly 2 hours to move me through the doctor's office this morning for bloodwork, ultrasound, physical and meeting with nurse (sigh). 

I will say that I am thankful that things are looking good so far.  Praying my bloodwork still looks good on call back and that we're moving forward.  [In 2011 they cancelled my first fresh cycle about a week and a half in - so I am a bundle of nerves each time I go praying that all is well and I don't have to stop and then start this nightmare all over again.]

jen4ny

DDS,

Thank you prednisone for turning my son into a crazed, whiny lunatic who doesn't sleep and acts like an animal for most of the day. And thanks MIL for canceling plans with us (second time she has done this) because my SIL and BIL (and their daughter) asked her to do something with them the same day. They have to learn that she isn't always available and that they aren't her only family. 

sailorgal

DDF

We waited over 5 frigging months for a specialist appointment for my son because my stupid doctor's office screwed up the requisition multiple times.

It was a two hour commute (because my stupid doctor's office gave us the wrong address) and over an hour wait.

The doctor spent less than 5 min with us and in that time he implied my son has behavioural issues that would make school difficult (ironically my son was missing an assembly for this appointment where he was being presented with an award for GOOD behaviour) and he told my kid he was making up pain...when we left my son said "mommy I wasn't lying!". Plus we have test results which say otherwise. I thought doctors relied on science! 

I'm just so angry and drained. We aren't sure where to go from here.

bumpuser6119831

DDF, it is bad enough that I have sad dreams over horrible position we are in but there is no reason my best friend should dream about it also. She dreamed last night that she came over to our new house and I was showing her around and she got to one room that was decorated for a little girl. She asked what the room was for and I said my future daughter (she said the room was beautiful) and then she said told me that it has been 10 years and I should give up the dream of having another child. I said that I would never give up.

For her benefit she really did not want to tell me the dream because she knew it would hurt my feelings and it has sent me spiraling this afternoon.