Sibling verbal / emotional abuse — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Sibling verbal / emotional abuse

edited October 2014 in Postpartum Depression
I have been dealing with verbal and emotional abuse from my older brother for several years and became a real danger when I was pregnant.  My husband and I are trying to move on and raise our baby with positive influence.  Unfortunately, my mom doesn't agree with me and says I need to forgive and accept him since he is my brother.  I've pretty much gave him multiple chances and encouraged him to get help but he refuses.  On top of that, he is a drug addict and alcoholic with a violent temper.  Sadly, some of my other relatives agree with my mom to "move on from the past" and be more understanding.  My husband and I are very firm with our decision to not allow him in our baby life for her health and safety.  It's just frustrating because it seems verbal and emotional abuse does not get taken seriously as physical abuse.  There are long-term psychological effects on the victim for years and we are simply much happier and healthier without him in our lives.  Any experience?
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Re: Sibling verbal / emotional abuse

  • Hello,

    I'm sorry you're going through this, but I have some experience and advice.

    We cut DH's grandparents out of our lives a while ago due to verbal abuse.  Initially we got a lot of people telling us that we need to let it go because they're family, they're old, that's how they've always been... etc.  The best advice I can give is to not engage these people in why you've made your decision.  Simply say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry you feel that way; however, I am not comfortable around BRO."  They may press, but just let them know, "I'm not comfortable, the decision has been made and it's not up for discussion.  If you bring it up again I'm going to leave/ask you to leave."  Then if it comes up, leave or have them leave.  We had to leave FIL's house a few times before he accepted that we were done with his parents and that was that.  He never brings it up now.

    Good luck to you.
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  • teedaaleeteedaalee member
    edited October 2014

    I’m so sorry that’s such a tough situation and hard on your entire family. I’ll be praying for you and your family. Hang in there.


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