I am almost 14 weeks and not going to be able to hide my bump very much longer. DH and I agreed that if IVF ever worked for us, we would be open about it for the sake of those who might still be struggling with IF in the closet, but this only applies for close family and friends (most of which also didn't know while we were going through the process). When neighbors or other semi-/complete strangers ask the "Are they natural question?" or any variation on it ("Do twins run in your family?", etc.), though, I am not comfortable sharing this information. I am wondering how others respond to this question, since I assume I will be getting it a lot in the next little bit as people find out we are expecting. ETA: There are set of twin cousins in DH's family, and most people know nothing about the inheritability of hyperovulation, so I have already said that, even though it is completely dishonest.
Well, my twins were natural, but I work in a infertility clinic and see the struggles people go through every day. I'd say that if you don't feel comfortable answering the question "are they natural" say yes... It will shut them up! If twins don't run in the family you can always say, "these are the 1st". If you don't give an answer at all I feel like rude people in this world will keep prying for answers even though it is none of their business! Hope this helps a little.
I have been pretty open with certain people- but when complete strangers ask- i always respond with "They were definitely a surprise to us" and that pretty much ends the discussion. Even though we went through treatment- twins were a total surprise.
I'm open about needing a LOT of help but I understand not everyone can be that way.. A response I like to "do twins run in your family" is "they do now!" As for natural--- maybe something snarky like "they aren't fake"....
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46 DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!! First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
It is so weird when people ask this. I mean, I understand what they are asking, and it is weird enough that they are asking such a personal question, but to phrase it like this "are they natural" kind of irritates me sometimes. I mean, what is the alternative to natural? Unnatural? Supernatural? (Sometimes I joke around with people and tell them they are supernatural or I'll tell them that they are actually robots - hahah.)
We did 2 years of IUI and IVF that all failed and then we conceived our girls by accident on one of our resting cycles, so I guess they are 'natural' but even if we had conceived via fertility treatments, I would probably lie most of the time to strangers just to avoid having to talk about it. I was pretty open about my fertility journey and most people who knew me knew about it, but at a certain point, you just don't want to talk about it any more - especially with strangers. So, I would have no problem just saying 'yup they're natural' just to get the conversation over with.
I haven't gotten the direct "are they natural" question but I get "was it a surprise" and "do twins run in your family?" I can't decide if they're genuine or if theyre trying to figure out if we had help. Mine are spontaneous and I always say it was a surprise and no they don't run in our families (because they ask about DH's too!) and the only answer I get is "wow" something. Never more questions or looks, and I honestly think they're not thinking of ART. If you get asked by strangers if they run in your family just try saying no and that might be the end of it.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
I'm open about needing a LOT of help but I understand not everyone can be that way.. A response I like to "do twins run in your family" is "they do now!" As for natural--- maybe something snarky like "they aren't fake"....
"They do now" is my typical response to the family one. People seem to find that amusing so that shuts them up.
I have never gotten the are they natural question. That would piss me off royally and I'd probably be too stunned to answer appropriately. But I think "Yes" would be sufficient.
The couple of times I've been asked I say of "Of course they are natural, just not spontaneous". We were open about IVF so all of our family and friends know not to ask that, it is just weird to have it from a complete stranger.
It depends on who asks how nice I am in my response. My babies were conceived through DEIVF. We don't think it is ANYONES business and innapropriate for them to even ask. If you ask me an inappropriate question you deserve whatever snarky comment or half truth I give back to you.
Do twins fun in the family? (just another way to ask if you did fertility treatments). I say yep. They do technically run on my mothers side so technically not a lie. Sometimes they get pushy and ask "which side" and I say my moms and change the subject.
Are they natural? The rudest of all questions in my opinion! Only one older lady at church asked me this and if it wasn't in front of a group of other people would have lit into her. I am sure the look on my face told her how inappropriate! I smiled and said " of course they were made by God" which I believe. Of course God used a lab, an RE, drugs and an embryologist but she doesn't need to know that. In the future I am going to say " no they are clingon".
Were you surprised? The answer is yes! I am still in shock I am pregnant much less with twins! a snarky answer would be " well we used the twin position so not really?" I haven't really said that to anyone yet
Did you do fertility treatments? Getting this one from strangers really irritates me! Our close friends and family know our history and struggles and that is how we want to keep it. I sometimes lie and just say "nope" or I will say something generic like "they are my little miracles" and not really answer the question. I can't believe people ask this.
the biggest comments/questions that bother me recently are:
So your going to be done after you have the twins right? my boss even asked me this! It shocks me that people are thinking about my future family planning and reproduction. I don't even respond usually or say "we shall see!"
So your finally catching up to _____? This is when they compare the amount of kids I am having to my sisters or cousins or friends. I actually responded to my aunt and said " I didn't realize it was a race?" I was so irritated.
I know these stupid and intrusive questions will only continue after the babies are born. My friend has spontaneous twins that are now 2 and she said it is never ending.
I admire the ladies on here that are nice and try to educate people, but I just odn't have the patience for that not think it is anyone's business on how my babies are conceived. All that to say share what you want to share and don't feel bad if you don't want to at all!
***siggy/ticker warning***
Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012 Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR, DH: normal
IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix. - poor responder ***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms FET 5/20- BFP 1st Beta- 641 2nd beta- 2166 Sono- TWINS!!!! Two Boys! Born January 2015 @36 weeks. Healthy and no NICU! So blessed!
Twins actually DO run in my family, so while ours are from IVF I have no problems saying yep, they do, there is at least one set every generation. And then I distract them with how my second cousin was due two weeks before me, also with twins.
Only our closest friends know we did IVF. I've considered being more open but neither of us is okay with H's family knowing and I'm also not sure I'm ok with the follow up questions of why, how long did we try, etc.
When I get asked the question "Are they natural?", I correct them by saying "I think the term you are looking for is spontaneous and yes we were very surprised" but I am a very outspoken person and don't get bothered when people get butthurt over being corrected. So I don't really answer the question per se, but at least one person has been corrected on the PC terminology to use and they may think twice before asking again. Same thing with "do they run in your or your husband's family?" I educate them that it is only my side that matters (mine are di/di) and I say no, since that is the truth. I think people usually regret asking me when it is all said and done.
Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart! #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14 M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
IVF MoM-to-be (I'm 29 weeks tomorrow) here. We are open to our IF journey and will gladly tell anyone we did IVF if they genuinely want to know more about it (and aren't just being nosey), BUT most of the time it's a long story and I don't feel like getting into it with random strangers who ask me about my pregnancy.
To be honest, no one has asked me if mine are "natural" or not. It wouldn't end well for them if it did. I'd probably respond with something sarcastic like, "No, they're plastic." I can't honestly say how I'd handle if someone asked me that question.
Most of the time, however, I get the more innocent, "Do twins run in your family?" To which I just respond "Yes, my grandpa was a twin and my dad had twin brothers." (Which is true. Doesn't mean that's why I have twins, but it answers their question.)
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
TTC since 2011
Aug. - Sept. 2013 - dIUIs = BFNs
January 2014 - IVF = 3 freezer babies
March 2014 - FET of AA and AB blast = BFP! Twins!
Nov. 7, 2014 - Wilhelmina "Willa" Suzanne (4lb 14oz) and Ari Jose (6lb 4oz) were born via CS
I haven't had anyone actually ask if they're natural but I've gotten a lot of "do twins run in your family" and I say yes because they do. But, I was on fertility meds when I got pregnant. I'm not ashamed of that but I am a private person so I don't really feel like sharing my medical history with strangers in the checkout line. Plus, since I was on a very low dose I really feel that it was a combination of the meds and family history
I had one 50ish lady, who claimed to have twins tell me "twins are everywhere now because so many do fertility treatments. Mine are REAL twins though."
We've gotten that a lot recently. It depends on my mood. Sometimes, I say they do run in the family but I find it simply an inappropriate questions, unless it's someone who's in the IF journey and genuinely wants to learn. We did do IVF and when I'm with my wife, it should seem pretty obvious there was some intervention involved! The babies are almost here and I imagine it will irritate me more once they can understand what's being asked. Luckily, 90% of the comments we get are just pure happiness and the idea of twins, and not conception nosiness.
It depends on my mood. Sometimes I say "well, they're not made of plastic" sometimes I say "well isn't that a direct question". Once I said "if you're asking me if I went through years of pokes, prodes, tears and heartbreak the answer is yes, thanks a lot for bring it all back for me".
I usually say it was a huge surprise and leave it at that.
If they ask if I found out early (which can be a thinly veiled attempt at asking about fertility treatments), I say yes but that i wasn't expecting an early u/s.
Some people are direct and I tell them they're spontaneous.
Since I have 3 boys, I also get a lot of "try again for a girl" comments. Haha, no.
I have not had this question, but I think I would just answer "yes." When I was pregnant I got the "do twins run in your family?" question a lot. I also answered "no, it was a surprise." That usually ended their nosiness. I don't get these questions anymore because people are distracted by how different mine look. So I deal with subtle racism instead of prying into fertility. Hooray!
It seems to be a common question when we say we're having twins. I've heard a lot more "do twins run in your family" than are they natural though, thank goodness. It depends who it is and how much I want to say. I have shared with a number of people that we tried for a long time and had help, for others I say my aunt has twins - which she does, she just isn't a blood relative, she married into the family but again, people don't need to know that. I sometimes have said it was an awesome surprise to us!
I want to be open about our IF, especially in case those we're talking to are dealing with it, as well as to hopefully normalize it a little more. I hate that there's such a taboo surrounding it. I'm just not always up for getting into it with random people.
IVF MoM here too - and I get these questions a ton. I expected comments from people (thanks to the forewarning of this board!) but I didn't expect the crazy amount that we do get.
As some said, in this situation it really depends on my mood (and how fussy the babies are) but normally I say they are IVF babes and will gladly get into it. I refuse to disclose our diagnosis since I feel like that is too personal but will happily explain the procedures/process. The question may be rude, but I've found the people who have asked me were just not well informed on the subject. I hope by the end of the conversation, they know just a bit more than when we started.
Honestly though, it's led to a ton of amazing discussions with random strangers who have also done IVF, knows someone whose going through it, or done other IF treatments. I don't think I've ever actually had someone react negatively to my story. I'm probably just very lucky But then again, the babes are only 5 months old.... I'm sure we'll have some jerk say something one day.
I am very open with everyone and their mom about the fact that all of our children were conceived via IVF, but that is just a personal preference. My answers to that question usually depend on the kind of mood I am in when asked. I have given responses ranging from "No, they're aliens," to "Our children were made with love." It is a very personal question, and people can be really rude about it. I think you should answer with whatever response makes you comfortable.
Oh my. Ours were a complete biological surprise (no fertility treatments) and I still get annoyed by this question. I think it's rude and none of their damn business.
That being said, it's easy to feel judged. We've suffered years of unexplained infertility, and nothing sucked more than random strangers telling us we better get to it, especially after a miscarriage or asking us when were we going to start a family (as if we as a couple weren't a family). But I think because so many people these days seem to be having fertility treatments that people are simply curious because so many multiples are the result of treatment. It's still rude, but I try and understand why people are crossing what I consider a line amongst strangers.
I haven't been asked this, but I almost always follow up my announcement of twins with the explanation that we did IVF. I am all about making it acceptable to others. There is nothing wrong or strange about getting pregnant that way and I feel like it's important to educate as much as possible. However, if someone is rude to me about it, he or she had better be prepared for a verbal shredding.
I feel really awkward about the question, because my twins were spontaneous AND I had OHSS (which is practically unheard of without clomid or other stimulation drugs)... so it doesn't bother me with strangers, but the majority of my family either assumes I had IVF or thinks I'm a damn liar when I insist they were spontaneous.
*Spontaneous* OHSS diagnosed 08.06.2012 Right ovary removed 09.04.2012 via vertical laparotomy Essure implant placed on remaining tube 06.13.2013; successful followup scan 09.30.2013
I just say yes, since they are. I always mention my cousin's twins, who are 4 months older, even though hers are identical and technically that isn't a genetic trait but it helps people stfu and move on. My mom had twin siblings but they died at birth so I hate to bring that up. My grandmother also had twin siblings. (all sororal twins btw!)
I hate how many IVF questions we get from strangers!!! I love people and strangers in general because I love to chat new people up. I now avoid them when I can anticipate the twin IVF question. I don't call my infants ' twins' in public. They are very different sizes so I have learned to stay clear of the dreaded topic by just calling them 'my kids'. I could rant on but it's not going to help
@Margritli DH and I did one round of ivf plus two FETs before getting a viable pregnancy, (I know for many others it takes more so I am very thankful that it worked 3rd try) but I have been open with ppl, the questions get really annoying just because ppl ALWAYS have something to say about twins. I just tell them "we did ivf three times" usually it either shuts them up and they don't say anything stupid to follow or they share personal experience with infertility. I usually don't share with random men but women I work with and sometimes if I just feel its right I share. Plus there is such a stigma attached to IF and it seems as if ppl believe IF is just this rare foreign thing I feel like sharing is my way of educating ppl about IF. I have had so many nurses ask "what's ivf"! This always just floors me!
....although after reading all these comments I'm getting lots of good ideas of how I will respond in the future to those ppl that I know are just being nosey :-) usual ppl ask which side twins run on (they are on DHs side but I just don't go into trying to explain genetics and reproduction, most ppl won't get it anyway) but if I do get "are they natural" after the twins are here I think ill pinch their cheeks and say they feel pretty real to me!
I had IVF too. When people ask, I tell them twins run in my family which is true. I have a cousin pregnant with boy/girl twins right at same time as me so people who are close to my family believe me
All babies are natural. I had 2 rounds of Clomid, after being told by an "expert" I had a 2% chance of getting pregnant without him and that Clomid would make no difference. So if you can trust him, then they are also "spontaneous" ;-) My husband gets mad if I say they are "natural" :-) I tell people there are twins in the family, but not close...maternal cousins and my paternal grandmother...
I have a girlfriend who was very open about her IVF and egg donor. And she advised not telling people if I went that route based on how people reacted with her (including her MIL, who kept saying "you can't even tell he's not yours, you're very good with him").
I support motherhood, no matter your journey to arrive there. All babies are natural and thwy do love their mommies :-) Naturally!
Twins actually do run pretty strong in my family, my mother is a twin and has a pair of twin siblings. I used femara, an ovidrel trigger and timed intercourse to conceive my twins due to PCOS, which increases the incidence of twins but not by a huge amount (my RE told me that with his method it bumped up the twin chances to 6% instead of slightly under 1% for people conceiving without treatment, his numbers not mine). So I imagine the treatment combined with the strong family incidence of twins put me over the edge. Annnndddd I don't share all that with strangers because it's none of their business.
Sometimes I'm seriously tempted to go into overwhelmingly graphic detail about what PCOS is and what my treatments were like, just to make them regret butting in where they don't belong.
So far I've only been asked if they were "natural" by well-meaning coworkers, who I can't really shame. If I ever get asked by a stranger I fully intend to respond that no, they were conceived through immaculate conception
At my last MFM appointment I got a new ultrasound tech. She asked if they were spontaneous or IVF. I said neither. She gave me a strange look and I explained that I took medication to help me mature follicles, HCG shot to trigger ovulation, and timed intercourse. She just looked at me for a moment and turning back to the computer said, "So, I'll put IVF in then." Grrrrrrrr......
At my last MFM appointment I got a new ultrasound tech. She asked if they were spontaneous or IVF. I said neither. She gave me a strange look and I explained that I took medication to help me mature follicles, HCG shot to trigger ovulation, and timed intercourse. She just looked at me for a moment and turning back to the computer said, "So, I'll put IVF in then." Grrrrrrrr......
This is why they shouldn't skip the fertility treatment section in nursing school! My instructor said she wasn't going over it because it was so rare that none of us would encounter anyone that did any of them. I spoke with the director about that one.
Singletons, Twins, multiples of any number are a blessing regardless of how they came to be and I believe that they are all miracles. I really wish people weren't nosy a-holes. I'm posting again bc I confided in a couple work people finally bc I had a wicked case of nausea today and a neighboring teacher had to cover my class. Anyway, I got married in August, conceived on my honeymoon and this crazy teacher STILL asked me this question!!!
Can I just say this question is so ignorant that it makes me want to scream. I have only been asked this once since the girls have been born. It was more common when I was pregnant. The last person to ask this question actually has twin grandbabies that are (both natural and) IVF. Why is it people think if babies are IVF they are not natural?! I was pretty disgusted by the question. My girls were conceived without IVF, but regardless of IVF or not, conception is natural; all babies are natural. It is not anyone's business. And it is fair enough to tell someone that. Some adults need to be reminded of manners.
Re: How do you respond to the "Are they natural?" question?
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
It is so weird when people ask this. I mean, I understand what they are asking, and it is weird enough that they are asking such a personal question, but to phrase it like this "are they natural" kind of irritates me sometimes. I mean, what is the alternative to natural? Unnatural? Supernatural? (Sometimes I joke around with people and tell them they are supernatural or I'll tell them that they are actually robots - hahah.)
We did 2 years of IUI and IVF that all failed and then we conceived our girls by accident on one of our resting cycles, so I guess they are 'natural' but even if we had conceived via fertility treatments, I would probably lie most of the time to strangers just to avoid having to talk about it. I was pretty open about my fertility journey and most people who knew me knew about it, but at a certain point, you just don't want to talk about it any more - especially with strangers. So, I would have no problem just saying 'yup they're natural' just to get the conversation over with.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
I have never gotten the are they natural question. That would piss me off royally and I'd probably be too stunned to answer appropriately. But I think "Yes" would be sufficient.
Baby Boy #1 born 1/15/2010
Babies #2 & #3 arriving Spring 2014 (EDD June 18)
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
It depends on who asks how nice I am in my response. My babies were conceived through DEIVF. We don't think it is ANYONES business and innapropriate for them to even ask. If you ask me an inappropriate question you deserve whatever snarky comment or half truth I give back to you.
Do twins fun in the family? (just another way to ask if you did fertility treatments). I say yep. They do technically run on my mothers side so technically not a lie. Sometimes they get pushy and ask "which side" and I say my moms and change the subject.
Are they natural? The rudest of all questions in my opinion! Only one older lady at church asked me this and if it wasn't in front of a group of other people would have lit into her. I am sure the look on my face told her how inappropriate! I smiled and said " of course they were made by God" which I believe. Of course God used a lab, an RE, drugs and an embryologist but she doesn't need to know that.
In the future I am going to say " no they are clingon".
Were you surprised? The answer is yes! I am still in shock I am pregnant much less with twins! a snarky answer would be " well we used the twin position so not really?" I haven't really said that to anyone yet
Did you do fertility treatments? Getting this one from strangers really irritates me! Our close friends and family know our history and struggles and that is how we want to keep it. I sometimes lie and just say "nope" or I will say something generic like "they are my little miracles" and not really answer the question. I can't believe people ask this.
the biggest comments/questions that bother me recently are:
So your going to be done after you have the twins right? my boss even asked me this! It shocks me that people are thinking about my future family planning and reproduction. I don't even respond usually or say "we shall see!"
So your finally catching up to _____? This is when they compare the amount of kids I am having to my sisters or cousins or friends. I actually responded to my aunt and said " I didn't realize it was a race?" I was so irritated.
I know these stupid and intrusive questions will only continue after the babies are born. My friend has spontaneous twins that are now 2 and she said it is never ending.
I admire the ladies on here that are nice and try to educate people, but I just odn't have the patience for that not think it is anyone's business on how my babies are conceived. All that to say share what you want to share and don't feel bad if you don't want to at all!
Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR, DH: normal
IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
- poor responder
***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
FET 5/20- BFP
1st Beta- 641
2nd beta- 2166
Sono- TWINS!!!!
Two Boys! Born January 2015 @36 weeks. Healthy and no NICU! So blessed!
Right ovary removed 09.04.2012 via vertical laparotomy
Essure implant placed on remaining tube 06.13.2013; successful followup scan 09.30.2013
Only our closest friends know we did IVF. I've considered being more open but neither of us is okay with H's family knowing and I'm also not sure I'm ok with the follow up questions of why, how long did we try, etc.
О Привязать! Z!
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
Right ovary removed 09.04.2012 via vertical laparotomy
Essure implant placed on remaining tube 06.13.2013; successful followup scan 09.30.2013
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
If they ask if I found out early (which can be a thinly veiled attempt at asking about fertility treatments), I say yes but that i wasn't expecting an early u/s.
Some people are direct and I tell them they're spontaneous.
Since I have 3 boys, I also get a lot of "try again for a girl" comments. Haha, no.
Team Purple!!!!
DX: DOR and MFI
IVF w/ICSI brought us our 1st precious miracle
V born via induction 4.29.11
TTC #2: IVF (MDLF) August/September 2012
ER 9/7: 6R, 5M, 4F ET 9/12: 5dt of 2 blasts
+HPT 9/17! Beta #1 (9/25) = 1,000 Beta #2 (9/27) = 1,860 U/S #1 (10/11)...TWINS!
1/8/13 - It's a..boy and a girl!!
S&B born via induction 5.8.13
That being said, it's easy to feel judged. We've suffered years of unexplained infertility, and nothing sucked more than random strangers telling us we better get to it, especially after a miscarriage or asking us when were we going to start a family (as if we as a couple weren't a family). But I think because so many people these days seem to be having fertility treatments that people are simply curious because so many multiples are the result of treatment. It's still rude, but I try and understand why people are crossing what I consider a line amongst strangers.
Right ovary removed 09.04.2012 via vertical laparotomy
Essure implant placed on remaining tube 06.13.2013; successful followup scan 09.30.2013
Trying since Jan 2011. Unexplained IF.
2 IUIs = BFN.
1 IVF (Dec 2013) = BFN.
FET, 2 frosties (June 13, 2014)
14dp5dt-June 27 -BFP, beta 2061. 2nd beta >5000, 3rd beta >5000, 2 sacs 06/30.
Twin Girls - 02/11/15 - at 37 weeks (no NICU, home with me at 3 days).
My husband gets mad if I say they are "natural" :-)
I tell people there are twins in the family, but not close...maternal cousins and my paternal grandmother...
I have a girlfriend who was very open about her IVF and egg donor. And she advised not telling people if I went that route based on how people reacted with her (including her MIL, who kept saying "you can't even tell he's not yours, you're very good with him").
I support motherhood, no matter your journey to arrive there. All babies are natural and thwy do love their mommies :-) Naturally!