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Thank you all (update)

CarolinaGirl2014CarolinaGirl2014 member
in Adoption
I can't express how much it's helped me to know I have a safe place to vent/reach out here. Last week, your love and support warmed my heart. Your suggestions helped, and I was able to get the groundwork started for a support group. I'm now in contact with several birthmoms. I often felt guilty posting here, like I prevented you all from having a "safe" place due to my presence. I know the other side is hard and painful, and I respect you all for your strength in what you've been through.

Also, I had an incredible visit Saturday. A wanted me to hold her even though she's now mobile, and laid her head on me and held my hand for over an hour. This relationship is magical. I'm not a second mom, nor have I ever wanted that. It's clear who Mom is, but I know that our relationship will benefit both of us through life- it's obviously already something she wants. Her mom and I talked hours while she napped, and she said how great it was to be able to process everything out loud with someone. It was HARD to get where we are, but we persisted and it paid off. I owe a lot of that to your encouragement.

Ok, enough gushy feelings!
Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

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Re: Thank you all (update)

  • Icedtea12Icedtea12 member
    That's wonderful. You and A's adoptive family have really found something special.
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  • leisemomtobeleisemomtobe member
    I am so glad you had a good visit with A!! Your relationship with A's adoptive family is what I hope to have someday. I know it'll be hard, but it'll be worth it also. 

    Thank you for being apart of this board! It's so awesome to hear a Birth Mom's take on things. You put so much in perspective for me, as an adoptive parent-to-be, and I just hope to be matched with someone like you one day. <3<3
    January 2014--Picked Agency, had informational Meeting and turned in Application
    June      2014--Started our Home Study (all paperwork &fingerprinting that ensued)
    August  2014--Finished our Home Study and Officially Waiting


    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
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  • CheleChele member
    Your voice is an important one on this board and is the kind we don't hear from very often. Your presence is just as important as anyone as in the adoption process.

    Many of us have frustrations and struggles and you are as welcome as anybody to voice your feelings. As someone who wants to adopt one day, I know your feelings and perspective are very interesting to me.

    I'm glad you are getting a support group together. You're really incredible!
    10/27/07
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  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member
    edited October 2014
    Please don't ever feel like you are infringing by being an active member of this board. It's not that we don't want expectant and birth moms here, it's that most who have come eventually left because they felt out of place. Many of us have actively tried to change the culture of the board to make it more accepting, open, and equally supportive of all members of the triad, but it is difficult with so many adoptive and prospective adoptive parents, competitively.

    Your voice and prospective is not only valued and desired, but needed, to help make this board a more accurate representation of all the emotions and issues involved in addition. Only through understanding all sides can we offer better support to anyone touched by adoption.

    Please don't ever feel you should leave.

    Also, I am beyond thrilled that things are working so wonderfully with your daughter's family. That's wonderful to hear!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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  • oliv0026oliv0026 member
    I love reading posts from birth moms as well because that allows me to understand a tiny bit " the other side" too. I believ we will never understand both sides fully because you either experience being a birth mom or adoptive mom, but never both. Being here made me take a peek on the other side of the fence and bw more understanding.
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  • CarolinaGirl2014CarolinaGirl2014 member
    Y'all are the best! I don't mean to accuse you of being inhospitable because you've been anything but. My own insecurities run away with me, and like @captainserious said most emoms and bmoms move on from the board. The one birthmother forum I found is the same way.

    @marshmallowevening I love yours, too! I stalk it like a fangirl. You'll love my most recent post (if you can make it through the insanely long wall of text) because I got real. Maybe a bit too real, but it felt good.
    Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

    A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

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  • ChicagoChicago member
    I echo all of the above. My husband and I were just wondering something from the BMs perspective. I was telling him how great it was because there are a couple on the message board.
    Thanks for being here.
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  • CeCe8579CeCe8579 member
    You are awesome! You help out so much!
    Carly
    (Former UN: iloveshanej)

    Birdie born 05/01/2007
    Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017                                          


    Potato Launcher


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  • isenbergbethisenbergbeth member
    Your insight has been valuable!
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