STM+ Moms: Share the things no one warned you about re: labor/delivery

nesenotes · October 2014

Also a c-sec here and no one told me how ridiculously swollen I would be for about 1 week after surgery. At first I was really scared my legs were going to stay that way. Thank god it was just fluid retention.

The PP insane sweating

Everyone talks about pp hormones but holy shit it's insane. I was hit the hardest pp for some reason. Talk about crazy. I was crazy. Very possessive. I was trying to do the no paci thing you read about in books to avoid nipple confusion but my mom was convinced she needed one and stuck her pinky in DDs mouth. I told her if she ever did it again I would cut her finger off. And I meant it. I remember it clear as day too.

ThePregosaurus · October 2014

The itching. Oh god. The itching. Also, as @JunkieBrewster‌ mentioned, just how intense transition is. Holding that baby in and not pushing was the hardest thing I think I've ever done. I think I yelled "I can't" about 500 times lol.. Glad DH missed that part...

lynelise04 · October 2014

I wish I knew the first time that you seriously can be fully dilated and not ready to push. LO#1 I got to the hospital and was a 9. It took 16hrs to have her, pushed for a good 2+.hrs. She couldn't fully drop BC my pelvis was introverted. The sweats after were crazy. I sat on ice packs for days and the internal stitches left scar tissue that were horrible for sex until I birthed baby#2 and it kind of corrected itself.

tucks pads and dermoplast were life changing.

with #2, I got to the hospital fully dilated, they broke my waters and I delivered her at 11lbs, in an hour. It was a breeze of a delivery, but the back labor was out of this world. Until she passed the canal, I thought I would die. Nobody told me about the rapid hormone changes. After I delivered her, I was shaking so much I thought I would drop her. They game me a shot of demerol(?) just to get my body to stop to do stitches.

And, that major case of identity crisis I had around 4-6 weeks. You find yourself so lost. It was hard, and took a break down to get me back to doing things for me. Mommyhood is a huge adjustment, not always enjoyable. And that is ok!

lynelise04 · October 2014

ThePregosaurus said:
The itching. Oh god. The itching. Also, as @JunkieBrewster‌ mentioned, just how intense transition is. Holding that baby in and not pushing was the hardest thing I think I've ever done. I think I yelled "I can't" about 500 times lol.. Glad DH missed that part...

Lordy, I forgot about the itching! I had a Cs with my last, as everything was wearing off I swear I was ripping my skin open. I was begging for a shower and Benadryl

Zelda925 · October 2014

I had a csection as well. I was not prepared for the blood clots you pee out as some of you ladies have mentioned and that the nurse had to check it every time I peed before I could flush. Speaking of peeing... My bladder was still asleep for so long after surgery they had to put a catheter back in me to relieve the pressure and allow me to pee normally. (I filled up 1.5 bags- insane). I was also extremely swollen (my legs) and could not put my own underwear on for over a week. Also, I ate tons of parsley chopped (fresh) to help with the swelling and I would wake up in pools of water around my legs from sweating. Hmmm... What else. I was induced bc of high bp dilated to 10 no problem and after 3 hours of hard pushing the baby didn't budge. She was still way up there so I ended up having to have a csection. (Which of course my knowledge from multiple episodes of watching a baby story on tlc lol- most women who are induced stall out in dilation and then result in having a csection). Honestly at that point I wasn't scared (which Is surprising) when the dr called a csection i was relieved bc I was exhausted from pushing.

ThePregosaurus · October 2014

stormygrace said:

Wait...what makes you itch?

For me- the stitches healing and the hemorrhoids.

Tarene · October 2014

drpayne said:

BrainCellSup said:

JunkieBrewster said:
No one warned me about transition and how I would basically lose complete control over my body and mind, not to mention the words that came out of my mouth.
This is a very eye-opening thread so far for this FTM. What is transition? I've never heard of it.

Seriously? Have you read about labor at all? You might want to read about the basics...

I've read the basics but never heard this particular term for that moment in time....

mlee116 · October 2014

I'm repeating some of the things other moms said but:

I had a cs too and I was really surprised by the swelling. I had HBP so the sudden swelling was alarming to me...I thought I was having pp eclampsia or something. Then the night sweats...OMG, so much liquid has never come out of my body. Between sweating and nursing so much, there were a few days where I barely even peed.

The hormones. No one is exaggerating. I thought something was wrong with me, but I know now its perfectly normal.

Call me naive, but I was surprised by the amount of pain I was in for a couple of weeks after birth. Between healing from surgery, after pains, breastfeeding, clogged ducts and not sleeping, I thought the pain would never end. But luckily it finally did!

I was surprised by how not scared I was at having a cs. My whole pregnancy, I was terrified of having one. But after 2 days of labor, it was a relief to know it'd be over soon.

RayRay007 · October 2014

stormygrace said:
Wait...what makes you itch?

I believe it was morphine I received during the c/s. In recovery when the spinal wore off I was itchy allll over. It passed in an hour or two, but it drove me crazy.

soulcupcake · October 2014

The idea of throwing up during labor... :shudder:

ashleykadlec · October 2014

I also forgot about the shaking from the epidural. I knew that it was a possible side effect but it really sucked and it freaked me out how long it lasted

SissynJitters · October 2014

I had a c-section after a failed induction. No one warned me that after 14 hours of an induction you could still only be 1 cm dilated.

Also, no one warned me that you could feel gushes of blood coming out of you after you deliver. The entire first night I kept calling the nurse because I thought there is no way this much blood flowing out of me is normal....totally is. Totally disgusting.

No one warned me about the itching after the c-section. Holy crap did I itch so bad....nurse said that was a good thing. It meant the pain meds were working.

kboyet · October 2014

Love learning as much as possible typically but I'm beginning to think ignorance is bliss

ibnagy99 · October 2014

No one told me about the icing of my parts, or the tucks pads or how much bleeding there would be or that I would have to use a squirt bottle every time I went to the bathroom for weeks after.

I wasn't prepared for the cramping every time I breastfed my little girl or pumped.

I wasn't prepared at home with the things I really needed and had all those things I really didn't need at all.

The amount of sweat that I would produce and feeling like I needed to change the sheets in the middle of the night.

The lack of sleep I really thought I was ready for that but nope.

The hormone change and wanting to cry and laugh all at the same time.

soulcupcake · October 2014

AJIrishMama said:

I wish moms weren't told 10 cm = ready to push. You're only "ready" when the baby is low enough in the pelvis for pushing to be effective (ideally when there's an involuntary urge). Pushing too soon after reaching "complete" can lead to prolonged pushing and maternal exhaustion, because, ya know, it is ineffective. That's why some providers like to let moms "labor down" before beginning the second stage. It's better that way. Let the contractions and baby move down on its own to avoid over-exhausting yourself.

My midwife with #1 had me labor down for over 30 minutes before she felt she was low enough to begin pushing. I pushed a couple times and she was born. I was informed I could end up pushing for 1+ hours, especially with her being LGA.
I had the urge to push before I even hit 10cm. I was between an 8 and a 9 when I couldn't control it anymore. I'm convinced that DS wouldn't drop below a negative station was because I had been trapped in a bed for 2 days straight. Like I said - I will never have an induction again if I can avoid it.

I also had a "pushy" urge at 8 cm with dd1 and dd2, which was shortly after contractions started. I kept being told I wasn't ready with dd1, and dd2 was born shortly after my last VE where I was 8 cm.

And I totally get you on being trapped it bed making it worse or inefficient. They didn't allow you to move around or change positions to encourage him to descend?

NELSMD · October 2014

JunkieBrewster said:

BrainCellSup said:

JunkieBrewster said:
No one warned me about transition and how I would basically lose complete control over my body and mind, not to mention the words that came out of my mouth.
This is a very eye-opening thread so far for this FTM. What is transition? I've never heard of it.

The final stage of labor. It is truely a unique experience.

My friend is an L&D nurse and she said that almost every mom starts shaking uncontrollably during transition. It's crazy what our bodies do. I'm a FTM so this thread is so helpful.

ColeyCannoli · October 2014

Tarene said:

No one warned me about transition and how I would basically lose complete control over my body and mind, not to mention the words that came out of my mouth.
This is a very eye-opening thread so far for this FTM. What is transition? I've never heard of it.
Seriously? Have you read about labor at all? You might want to read about the basics...
I've read the basics but never heard this particular term for that moment in time....

Weird, every book I've picked up has mentioned transition. My worry was that most of the books end about when you leave the hospital. They don't tend to warn you about things like crazy hormone swings.

My little boy is lucky I love him so much already. This is scary :P

Jdogs12 · October 2014

If I was reading this as a FTM I'd be scared but please take this all more as information so you know it's normal if it's happening to you. All of it doesn't happen to everyone. I never had postpartum cramping, and they let me leave the hospital without pooping for example. And they still massaged my ute after a c-section (super fun).

1. The shaking from the drugs. It was ridiculous...just constant shivering.
2. I always thought I had "birthing hips". Nope, only way baby was coming out was via c-section.
3. Don't listen when they tell you "it shouldn't hurt if baby is latching correctly". It was toe-fucking-curling pain every time he latched from about 6 days after birth to 2 weeks after birth.

This I knew about from a friend, which was awesome to know. That the hormones that kick in, or completely drop out of your system, after birth make you feel like a crazy person. I'd think of crazy shit like someone dropping my baby and would cry uncontrollably for almost 2 weeks after I got home. But only at night for some reason. I was fine during the day.

momtoE25 · October 2014

@nesenotes‌ I was the same way. Except DS had jaundice and I was told that supplementing would help him get rid of it faster and I refused because my baby was getting nothing but my breastmilk and yelled at the nurse for even suggesting this.

SeahorseMama · October 2014

Jdogs12 said:
1. The shaking from the drugs. It was ridiculous...just constant shivering.
2. I always thought I had "birthing hips". Nope, only way baby was coming out was via c-section.

ITA with both of these! I was shaking uncontrollably after my c-section and DH kept trying to hand me DD1. I told him to only give me the baby if he wanted her thrown across the room. I think it took 2-3 hours for me to get control back over my arms. Then I just went from sweating to shivering for about 24 hours.
And I have big hips...but only on the outside. There's no room for a baby to actually get out, try as they might (and DD1 tried hard!)
Also as a c-section mama I was not prepared for the nurses to all be asking me if I had passed gas or pooped yet. I was not allowed to eat anything until I had passed gas and after a 17 hour failed induction + c section I was STARVING. So as soon as I farted I was calling the nurses station asking if I could order Jimmy Johns.
I was not prepared for the fact that I didn't instantly just *know* my baby. I thought that of course I would automatically recognize her because she was mine. NOPE. I wondered more than once if they had brought the right baby down from the nursery.

talianza · October 2014

As a PP commented, I wasn't aware that you could be 10cm and not ready to push and that if you did push it would just make you tired and not help deliver at all!

No one told me that pushing the baby's head out would feel like I was pushing a soccer ball out of my butthole.

Also no one told me that the muscles you use to push feel more like what you'd use to take a big dump. I kept trying to push out of my vagina, to no avail. As soon as I started pushing like I was trying to poop, the nurse was like, "yay, we're making huge progress"!

Also I didn't know that you could be pushing and they'd still have the catheter inside because of the epidural, until almost the very end. It would hurt when they'd check the baby's head and I asked for it to be removed many times.

The poop/pee you do right after birth feels like all your intestines are falling out!

drpayne · October 2014

As for ladies mentioning itching.... I had this after my hospital birth and asked them to switch my pain medicine. You should be able to ask for something else.

abcmom12 · October 2014

You go numb when it's time to push and the contractions don't hurt anymore

The baby can be facing the "correct way" and still end up with back labor

The heat and amount of water that comes out from breaking the bag is impressive and disgusting. (I don't know why I expected it to be room temp lol)

For contact wearers, how dry your eyes can get. Hint: bring drops

For those going au naturale labor, good luck trying "not" to push. yea fricking right.

JRod13 · October 2014

That first pp poop- dear lord. I thought I was going to die. Worse than birth for sure.

allitor12 · October 2014

I shook after both births - one with an epidural and one without an epidural. Both times they said it was normal

drpayne · October 2014

abcmom12 said:
You go numb when it's time to push and the contractions don't hurt anymore
The baby can be facing the "correct way" and still end up with back labor
The heat and amount of water that comes out from breaking the bag is impressive and disgusting. (I don't know why I expected it to be room temp lol)
For contact wearers, how dry your eyes can get. Hint: bring drops
For those going au naturale labor, good luck trying "not" to push. yea fricking right.

Huh? I never went numb and my contractions didn't stop hurting. Sounds nice though.

gdaniels77 · October 2014

As a FTM reading all of these is like watching a train wreck. I would really really rather not know, but the intense morbid curiosity is making it impossible to stop reading!

Apsalartoll · October 2014

As another FTM reading all of these, I like to be prepared, at least mentally in situations where I can't actually do anything about it. I think of the things that have been brought up here like a list of all possible worst-case scenarios. Some of this stuff seems really likely to happen, but not all of it, so I think it'll help me look on the bright side when something horrible is happening to me, but I can think "Well, at least I'm not having [other thing]."

Caraluvs · October 2014

Not delivery related, but something that shocked me with a new baby: No one told me that your breasts could shoot out milk like water pistols even if your baby isn't sucking. A couple months after the baby was born, I was in the mall with my mom. I left the baby with her while I went into the dressing room to try some things on. The second my bra came off, both sides started gushing! I shoved all the clothes out of harms way, but had nothing to catch the milk or stop the flow. I just helplessly watched as this huge puddle of milk grew at my feet. When they finally quit, I put my clothes back on, grabbed my mom to guard the door, and ran to the bathroom to get towels to clean up the mess. It was SO stressful and humiliating. Despite my best efforts, there was milk all over my shirt and I reeked, so of course that outing was cut short. Lesson learned the hard way: the diaper bag is for mom too. And it needs to be stocked with wash clothes, breast pads, and a clean shirt.

amieeyoung · October 2014

For the love of all that is good in the world- take stool softeners. I was truly miserable. I had a c-section (after a long labor and long pushing period) and was super swollen- everywhere- I was bigger than when I went in to give birth. It did go away but the scariest was my lady regions. I literally called my mom crying about it. Things don't always go to plan (well your plan anyway) when giving birth- just remember in the end the goal is a healthy baby. Hormones going crazy- I cried a lot about nothing- just plain ole hormones for a week or so.