April 2015 Moms
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~*~*~* Weekly IVF/TTTC/2IF/Infertility grads check-in 10/21*~*~*~
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Re: ~*~*~* Weekly IVF/TTTC/2IF/Infertility grads check-in 10/21*~*~*~
This week there isn't a whole lot new. Starting to work on some crochet projects for the girls since we're TEAM PINK x2 as announced last week
Next doctor appointment isn't until next Tuesday. Overall, I'm feeling better in general, although I still struggle with the occasional nausea, dizzy spells and headaches. In the last few days I've finally been able to eat chicken again - yay! I've had an aversion to it in all forms since about week 7, but this week I was able to eat a salad, a chicken pot pie, and a carved chicken sandwich, so that's happy news for me.
Cute moment of the week was when I wasn't feeling good and DS (age 3) said "It be ok, Mommy. I take those babies out for a widdle bit 'n play wiff dem until you feewl bettta" My heart melted!
QOTW:
Our fertility journey started in 2006 when we were initially getting DH diagnosed (we're primarily MF). We didn't really share anything with anyone. DH had a lot of anger and frustration around the whole thing. We spent from 2006 to 2008 having him go through different medications, then procedures to confirm sperm production and the viability of the sperm. When we finally were told that he was in fact making sperm of his own, but it just wasn't able to get out due to a massive blockage, we were able to have it harvested via a procedure and then did our first round of IVF in summer of 2009.
We only told parents about that first IVF round. When it wasn't successful, we had very few people to turn to for support and I sank into a depression. I went on a journey to lose weight, and by fall of 2010, I had lost 50+lb in an effort to try and increase our chances the next time we tried IVF.
That second round we were much more open. We told people close to us... parents, siblings and close friends. That time we were successful and it was very freeing to be able to open up about our IF journey. We didn't always go into deep specifics about our diagnosis, but would tell folks we were "having trouble" and doing IVF. I was very open about talking about that whole process. Still am. I'm very proud of our journey. We were open again for this time around... it helped with the stress.
I know that when I was young, I was very interested in knowing about details about when my mom was pregnant and how she found out and whatnot. I'd imagine that my own children will have these questions and DH and I have decided that we will always tell our children the truth when they ask questions. Now, that said, the truth may include more or less detail based on age appropriateness, but I see no reason to hide.
I will say that being raised Catholic, I did get some feedback from some of my more religious family and friends about the method in which we chose. My response back has always been that I felt that God gave doctors the means and ability to provide this to people who were unable to conceive on their own and if they had a big problem with that or my child(ren), then they wouldn't have to spend time with us.
@GrailSeeker14 I love your story about your baby hearing your DH! That is so cute! I hope your appointment goes well on Thursday!
Nothing much to update for me; my next appointment isn't for 3 more weeks. I missed getting my 12week NT scan; I guess it was a miscommunication, so I was bummed I won't get to see baby for ahwile. However, I think it also convinced my DH to go to an elective soon to find out if it's a boy or girl, so yay!
My symptoms have been the same; I thought MS was getting better but it seems to have come back, and I'm starting to get nauseous at night now too.
The cutest moments lately have been when my DH keeps asking how much longer until the baby can hear. I tell him, "a few more weeks" and he says, "Well as soon as baby can (hear) we have to sing to it." I just love how sweet he is being about everything. He also said, "I want to meet the baby now; April is too long to wait to meet the baby!" He's definitely earning some good H points!
We are team green at the moment, but only until we can find out!
Can I vent for a moment? I got a call from a relative congratulating us on our pregnancy. We only told parents and siblings. I found out my MIL told people about our pregnancy without our permission. I was really upset about it! I feel like I waited so much longer to even get to be pregnant and now she is taking our chance to announce away. I know there's nothing I can do about it now, but I really want her to know how much she hurt me. My H called his parents to let them know that we know, but she made excuses about how she's just "so excited". Thanks for listening; I just feel like she doesn't respect us as adults or as a couple.
QOTW: We haven't shared any information about IF with anyone. Part of me wants to tell people, but I know neither my mom or MIL had any difficulty so I really don't think they'll understand.
I do plan to tell my child if I have a daughter when she is an adult and/or teen if she is having any symptoms of PCOS or irregular cycles. I think I went into ttc thinking it would be so easy, and we might have started a little sooner if we knew it could take awhile.
GrailSeeker14
Not too much new here this week. I will be 16 weeks tomorrow, and the symptoms seem to be getting worse, but at least so far through out I haven't been tired yet. I can still run, and seem to feel best when running.
We are team pink. Since we had a few years to think about it, we already have a name picked out, Hayley Marie.
We don't have our next scan until 20 weeks, but we listen to her heart beat every few days. We recorded it the other day and sent it to our parents.
I think the cutest moments really have been how excited DH is. He always asks to see the bump, and was video taping me on his phone begging and trying to coerce me to turn side ways to show him. He also came up with our announcement and then bought the little pink camo shoes he used in them as a surprise. And they squeak too!
QOTW: Most everyone knew we were going through IF treatments and that we were doing IVF. So once we knew we were having problems TTC we were very open with friends and family. The support we got really helped get us through some of the hard times.
I will definately be open with our daughter and let her know.
Me: 34, DH: 32
TTC Since September 2012
Dx-PCOS, Anovulation, highly irregular cycles
March 2013 Comid 50 mg+ TI #1: BFN
April 2013 Clomid mg + TI #2: BFN
IVM#1 Aug 2012: BFN
20 FEB 2014: CP
IUI #1 Clomid 100mg 24 FEB 2014: BFN
IUI #2 Clomid 100mg 21 MAR 2014: BFN
IUI#3 Follistim & trigger 21 May 2014: BFN
IVF #1 Follistim & Menopur: 14R, 9M, 7F, transfered 2 day 3 8 cell embies
Beta #1: 7/30: 41 Beta #2 8/1: 96 Beta #3 8/4: 796 EDD:4/9/15
All Welcome@CaterinaC I'm sorry you're having so many aversions! I too, still haven't had any coffee and am getting sick. Glad baby is doing well though!
@Alicia_R1 Your H sounds so excited! Mine is like that too; wanting me to show my stomach to everyone when we're out with friends. I think they can see it and don't need you pointing it out!
1) Have you shared your experience with IVF and IF in general. If so, when (during the cycle(s), after conception)? Also, how do you plan on sharing that information with your LO when they are old enough, if at all?
2013 summary: Diagnosed with Hypothyroid; Cervical polyp removed (benign);
2 rounds ovidrel with timed intercourse (no result): 3 rounds IUI with clomid + ovidrel (no result)
2014 summary (to date):
IVF cycle 1 - ER: 4/17 (28 follicles, 3 fertilized, 2 survived to day 3);
ET: 4/20 (3rd day, 2 embryos - 1 @ 6 cells & 1 @ 4 cells); Beta 5/1 - BFP!;
1st scan 5/13 - development behind, no heartbeat detected; D&C 6/2; WTF 6/13
IVF cycle 2 - BCP begun 7/12; stims w/ HGH begun 7/26;
ER: 8/6, 12 follicles, 7 fertilized w/ ICSI; ET: 8/11, 3 blastocysts left, 2 transferred, 3rd arrested 8/12 - none to freeze
1st beta 8/19 - BFP! 294; 2nd beta 8/26 - 4976; 1st u/s 9/2; 2nd u/s 9/9 - two little heartbeats at 140 each!!!
EDD: 29-April-2015
Other Meds: Synthroid 100 mcg/daily
QOTW: I was fairly open with our journey. I would confide in close friends etc. We did not share with our families since We felt it would be a lot of added pressure.
I finally told my mother last weekend about our struggles to get pregnant. Every time we talk she says "when are you going to have another baby????" I finally lost my cool and in total freak out mode said "You need to stop asking!!! We have been trying for over 2 years and I can't take it anymore!" I was crying and a total mess. Even though we are pregnant now and I should feel relieved I am still in a constant state of worry that we will lose the baby. I just can't wait for a moment of relief. We plan to tell our families after a hopefully successful appointment next week. I'm not sure if it will make me feel better to get it off my chest or if I will still be worried about loss.
On a positive note we are both so excited. I can't wait to share with DD that she is going to be a big sister. That will be a highlight for sure.
Still nothing new to report. Appt this Friday, but don't except an u/s. A/S in 2 weeks. Main symptoms are also headaches and insomnia (or inability to get/stay comfortable). I had a massage last Friday and so far its helped with the headaches. Yesterday, randomly, MS suddenly appeared again. Not sure where that came from. Other than that, my bump isn't becoming more prominent. Anyone else?
Cutest moments: I love when DH rubs or kisses my belly and says "Hi baby girl" and he gets so excited when he sees "Daddy's little girl" stuff in the store. My second favorite is a video my sister sent me of my 4 year old niece when she told her I'm having a girl. Her excitement was adorable. Then when my sister asked her to help us name her, she said "um, I think we should give her a princess name. Ariel. Cinderella too." We will NOT be naming our daughter Ariel Cinderella, but we tell her its on the list.
We are Team PINK!
QOTW: During the whole process we shared with both our parents, my sister and some close friends knew. I also had to tell my direct supervisor primarily for scheduling purposes, and he got worried when I first said, "I have some medical stuff going on that requires me to have a lot of Dr.s appts, so I'll be late quite a bit. Oh and I need to have less stress." DH was pretty reluctant too tell people. I think he felt a little embarrassed about it. But he's since realized how unfortunately common IF is. I don't mind telling people, especially those that I know are struggling. I had a close friend that had to do IVF also, and she was a great support for me, answering all my questions and giving me hope. I don't plan to hide it from LO. I am working on making my own baby book/scrapbook, because I haven't found one I like to buy. Im starting it off with a page that will include a photo of all our embryos before transfers.
@Alicia_R1 - Love them name! Your OH sounds so cute. :x
@CaterinaC - Sorry about the nausea! Hope that ends soon.
@catlover790 - Ugh, so sorry about your MIL. My mom has done that to me repeatedly in this journey. I wonder if she has any clue how much she's damaged our relationship with that. It's SUCH a betrayal of trust.
@yarnymommy - That's a pretty cute quote from your DS!
@GrailSeeker14 - Thanks for taking this over, and how cool is your Doppler story?!
AFM, not much to report. Saw the new OB yesterday, and it looks like it will be a much happier fit for us. Our LO is very cooperative with the Doppler these days, and it's always super easy to find the heartbeat. All is looking great, but I have no idea how I'll make it a full month until our next appt, the A/S on Nov. 17th. We expanded the circle of people (it's about 20 people now, almost all relatives) who know this weekend, and it almost made me hyperventilate with panic. I pulled out the Doppler after almost every phone call. I know that having more people know doesn't affect our chances of a loss at all, but I'm hoping to keep the information within the present "circle of trust" for a while because it freaks me out too much. I've locked down my FB page and made some admin requests to keep the secret at work. I'm starting to show a teeny bit, but I assume I still have some weeks left when people will just think I've eaten too much Halloween candy (it's true!). Of course, I'm hosting a bunch of new hires at my house this weekend, and I haven't decided how I'll deal with the "you're not drinking?" questions. I don't think I should lie at this point, since I'll be visibly pregnant within just a few more weeks.
QOTD: We're not out about IF at all. I'm an assistant professor, and there are a lot of childless women senior professors who will eventually be voting on my tenure. I got an extra year from my dean to deal with "health issues," meaning my infertility and repeated losses, and I just don't know how those senior women would feel about that, nor do I want to take the chance and find out. They're supposed to rely on my scholarly record to make their vote, but everyone knows they don't have to. And every tenure package has flaws, so their resentment could well sway their vote. I did have to walk a fine line when I talked to other higher ups at work who knew about the clock stoppage and naturally asked if the pregnancy was okay/related. I just said "underlying health issues made this a very difficult process for us." I'm not sure if I'll stick with this line or not going forward.
Outside of work, I've told a very few friends, and just a couple of OH's family members. My parents, as I mentioned about, couldn't keep their mouths shut, so they have no idea we've even done IVF, let alone three fresh (attempted) cycles and one FET. Maybe I'll share eventually, but I have no intentions of it right now. I figure I might let them in on this secret if and when I donate extra embryos (we have ten screened blastocysts left) and other grandchildren are born. I think they'd have the right to know that.
Sorry to write so much!
***Losses mentioned.*** TTC #1 since May 2012. Me: 37, OH: 41. Ectopic August 2012 => tubal damage.
ME - 31, DH - 40
Married 06/25/2011, TTC since 03/2012
BFP #1 on 11/13/12 -- EDD 7/24/13 -- M/C (CP) on 11/21/12
BFP #2 on 7/21/13 -- EDD 3/29/14 -- M/C (CP) on 7/31/13
09/4/13 - 4/16/14 -- IUI #1 - 6 = BFNs
7/13/14 -- IVF #1 w/ ICSI
ER on 7/26/14 -- 20 R, 15 M, 11 F
ET on 7/31/14 -- 1 transferred (4bb); 8 frosties!!!
BFP #3 on 8/8/14 -- EDD 04/18/15
BETA #1: 473, BETA #2: 1009, BETA #3: 1975
** It's a BOY!!! **
QOTD- we haven't shared anything about IVF and plan to keep it between us I think.
*** BFPs and Loss Mentioned ***
TTC since 08/2012
BFP 12/28/12-- EDD 9/19/13-- M/C (d&c) on 1/31/13
7/15/14 -- IVF #1
ER on 7/26/14 -- 15 R, 8F
ET on 7/31/14 -- 1 transferred (4aa); 4 frosties!!!
BFP 8/5/14-- EDD 4/18/15
Beta #1 (14dpo): 223, Beta #2 (17dpo): 898
First u/s -- 8/28/14= 1 beautiful baby with a hb of 131
10/25/14- It's a GIRL!
11/24/14- DX with Complete Placenta Previa (Stage IV)
1/12/15- Placenta Previa has moved to Marginal!! (Stage II)
Thank you so much @gailseeker we love this checking thread
What's new with everyone this week? Im happy to report my spotting has stopped, we saw our baby boy on Sunday, her was kicking around and dong really well.
Symptoms to report? Still struggling with nausea, it comes in waves, and so unpredictable now. I get reminded by everyone I'm in the 2nd try now so i should be feeling great. I keep telling them, yes but my body hasn't caught up with the 2nd tri joys.
Scans? No scans this week, Im booked in for a 16 week scan next Tuesday
Appointments? No app this week, Im booked in for my prenatal after my scan next week.
Cute/sweet moment of the week? My DH is getting so excited, he has been researching baby monitors, and sat me down to tell me all the pro and cons.
If you have found out or will find out and want to share: are you team PINK, BLUE, or GREEN? BLUE!!!!! We are having a little boy, we have 2 girls, so everyone is very excited.
QOTW:
When we begun our journey we were very open about it. After our loss in Feb this year, when we started the process again in May i didn't want to share, i was so scared we would go through a loss and having to share that with close family and friends would be devastating. Only after we passed the 12 week mark i began opening up to everyone, many of them had no idea we were trying again. I think it is such a hard process to go through, and filed with highs and lows, I'm very happy to share my experience with anyone.1) Have you shared your experience with IVF and IF in general. If so, when (during the cycle(s), after conception)? Also, how do you plan on sharing that information with your LO when they are old enough, if at all?
Nothing new to report, as I posted late last week and don't have another appointment until November 6 (ack the wait! its the worst!)
QOTD:
We've been fairly open with our IF journey with close friends and my family. Hubby's family has no idea about any of it (they are, by nature, not supportive and warm people and he chose not to share this information with them as he thought it wouldn't be handled with the delicacy we needed) My family was a huge help during losses after rounds 1 and 2 of IVF, and couldn't be happier that round 3 was successful. My parents have also helped us a bit with the financing of the IVF procedures, which means more to hubs and I than we will ever be able to accurately express.
TTC #1 since 4/2012
3 failed IUIs
IVF #1: 23R / 18M / 14F - 7 frosties!
ET on 7/26 of one perfect blast
BFP on 8/1/14! EDD 4/13/15
Beta #1 10dp5dt: 438; Beta #2 12dp5dt: 864; Beta #3 16dp5dt: 3,226
Symptoms to report? Still with the morning sickness. Except it's all day sickness, and it's super hard to eat anything. My OB assures me that I'm not starving the baby, so I'm working on believing him.
Scans? Anatomy scan is 11/13!
Appointments? Last OB appointment was last Wednesday. Baby girl kicked the Doppler probe before she would finally cooperate. Next appointment is 11/13 after the anatomy scan.
Cute/sweet moment of the week? A scary moment? Need extra Ts&Ps? This little one loves her daddy! He was the first one that she let find her heartbeat with the Doppler (aside from my OB.) I'm trying really hard to relax and enjoy this, and it's still hard. It's amazing how much IF screws with your head, and pregnancy is just as hard sometimes.
If you have found out or will find out and want to share: are you team PINK, BLUE, or GREEN? We are team PINK!!
QOTW:
1) Have you shared your experience with IVF and IF in general. If so, when (during the cycle(s), after conception)? Also, how do you plan on sharing that information with your LO when they are old enough, if at all?
I've always been open about our IF struggles, from the time I was diagnosed with issues. I knew that I had to have other friends who were having problems, and I was lucky to be able to be a support for them. We were very lucky and conceived on a testing cycle without intervention, but I still plan to let DD know how difficult it was to get to this point and how very much she was wanted.
I got the results of the Panarama test and came back low risk on everything. We chose not to find out the sex with the test. I have another appointment next week I think. Everything seems to be going well.
QOTW: We were very open about IF both this pregnancy and the last one. I found that until I started talking about it, I didn't realize that a lot of other people I knew went through the same struggle. I also found that some people who just thought they couldn't get pregnant and had been trying for years just really didn't understand the other options. I have several friends after hearing the process we went through who later went through IF treatment. It also helped to have people who knew and who would ask about how it was going and if this cycle worked and such. Anyone who knew we were doing treatment, we let know right away when we got the BFP, mostly because they understood that it might not stick, but it was progress we were excited about! They also cried with me on the BFN's.
I plan on telling DD about our IF journey. I have been keeping a journal for the kids to read when they are bigger so they can see how much mommy and daddy really wanted them, and how we fought to have them. I also want to make sure if DD or LO has the same trouble when it's their turn to have kids that they know they aren't alone in that struggle.
Factor V Leiden Homozygous, Advanced Maternal Age
TTC #1, 5 yrs, PCOS, Femera + Ovidrel.
IUI#3 BFP, DD 5/31/2012
TTC #2, 2 yrs, PCOS, Femera+Ovidrel
IUI#2 BFP!
***Losses mentioned.*** TTC #1 since May 2012. Me: 37, OH: 41. Ectopic August 2012 => tubal damage.
@yarnymommy @sweetsurrender9 @Alicia_R1 and @Seachele98 congrats on your little girls! Girls are great!
@GrailSeeker14 thanks for taking over! I love your daddy/Doppler story. So cute!
@KellyA724 and @pblge I feel your pain on expanding the circle. I saw a posting on FB the other day from a girl who had to tell her social network that they were no longer expecting. My heart absolutely broke for her.
@taahira I'm so glad your spotting stopped. Congrats on Baby Boy! How exciting!
@jlb902 how exciting that you will know baby's sex soon!!
@jszy10 I bet you are so excited for your elective US!
@baby_blessings I hope you have a great appointment tomorrow!
@catlover790 sorry about your MIL. That is frustrating. So cute that your hubby wants to sing to baby.
@CaterinaC congrats on your boy! I hope your MS gets better soon.
@AMShark T&P that you have a great scan today!
Sorry if I missed anyone. I'm trying to do this in mobile.
IVF #1 = BFN
FET #1 = BFN
FET #2 = BFN
IVF #2 = BFP, b/g twins lost at 20w due to partial abruption/PPROM
IVF #3 = c/p 5w2d
Long-shot Clomid/Prednisone cycle before next IVF = BFP, our beautiful, healthy girl born 6/26/13!
~~
TTC again March 2014
FET #3 - May/June 2014 - all embryos arrested before xfer - back to the drawing board...
IVF #4 - July/August 2014
Formerly melissalee.t - finally figured out how to change my name so I can be tagged, then maybe I won't forget to check in
@catlover790 my MIL had told pretty much everyone she knows as soon as we got our blood test back with the same excuse of being so excited. I know where you're coming from, it's terribly frustrating.
@GrailSeeker14 - thanks for posting the thread this week
Feeling good this week and my belly is starting to pop which is exciting! I wasn't sick in my first trimester so I haven't been feeling very pregnant and this change definitely helps.
Today I had my monthly OB visit and got to listen to the heart rate which is always so reassuring. I have a Phase II ultrasound on Halloween where we'll be able to find out the sex as long as baby is cooperating. We can't wait to find out if we are Team Pink or Team Blue.
QOTW:
We have always been open about our IF struggles, from the time I had my ectopic on. At the beginning I was feeling very alone and broken and it really helped to find others dealing with IF and know we weren't the only ones. I have a lot of friends who haven't started trying yet and I want them to know what we have gone through so that I can be a support system for them if they need it. It also helped to have loved ones asking how we were doing week to week and to help cheer me up when we had setbacks.
We will tell our children when the time is right. My mother had issues conceiving as well and I'd want my daughter to know just in case.
TTC since 9/2012
Ectopic: 1/2013 - tubal damage
IVF #1 (2/2014): 40R / 16M / 1FET - BFN
IVF #2 (7/2014): 40R / 18M / 3FE / 2FET - BFP!
BFP on 8/16/14 EDD 4/03/15
I've also been having cramping ever since the day of the embryo transfer, which has gotten worse recently. My OB seems unconcerned and says as long as I'm not bleeding and my cervix is still closed that it's fine, but it still seems like a concerning symptom to me.
QOTW:
I told my closest friends from the very beginning when we started TTC. I mostly wanted the support, but ended up feeling sort of like an ambassador/educator for IF, correcting them about IF realities when they would say things like "you just need to relax and go on a vacation" after we'd been trying unsuccessfully for 11 months!
We didn't tell family until after we were 12 weeks pregnant because they would not have been supportive or helpful and would have just made us more stressed. It was sort of a "we're expecting. Oh, and by the way we did IVF."
My husband actually ended up being the most open about it to people who were just acquaintances. It was so hard for us to constantly hear pregnancy announcements during the last year while we were trying, that he said he didn't want to put anyone else through that. So he sent out group texts to friends announcing our pregnancy and that we had done IVF. He ended up hearing back from about 3 people who were also going through their own struggles, and it felt really nice that we could share our experience with them.
One of my motivations in being so open is to reduce the stigma of IVF. I have a friend who conceived on Femara + IUI and she tells everyone they got pregnant on a fun weekend away together. I think that kind of approach just perpetuates the myths of fertility, and it's baffling to me that she feels so ashamed about dealing with IF.
In terms of telling our children, we will definitely be very open about their conception. Again, because I want to reduce stigma. I don't think there's anything negative about it. If anything, it's representative of how much we were willing to go through and how much we wanted this child. It feels like a medical miracle to me - I still can't believe that I'm actually pregnant. Sometimes I shudder to think about what our situation would be like if this were 50 (or even 25) years ago. We may never have had children at all.
What's new with everyone this week? Not much, sorry I've been MIA lately but work has been crazy. So crazy that it made my blood pressure spike enough to get me a note from the MFM to work from home! Just started that this week, phew!
Symptoms to report? Still really tired and generally not feeling great. I'm laughing because I'm getting stuck on the couch and wondering how this is going to work in a few months
Scans? Had one last week at the MFM, everything is looking great! Aaaaand....we found out we're Team Blue again!!! We have our A/S next week
Appointments? I've got a regular OB appointment Friday. Those are boring compared to the MFM though because I don't get to see baby.
Cute/sweet moment of the week? A scary moment? Need extra Ts&Ps? Just really shocked baby is a boy....100% thought it was a girl.
QOTW:
1) Have you shared your experience with IVF and IF in general. If so, when (during the cycle(s), after conception)? Also, how do you plan on sharing that information with your LO when they are old enough, if at all?
I've shared with family and friends and I have a blog that I'm very open with. I'd imagine all that knowledge is out there in virtual land eventually our child might ask. I'm open to sharing but not until he's older and can understand. We do , however, plan to start from birth telling this baby about his big brother in heaven.
NTNP 2009-2012 TTC since 2012:
Jack has handpicked his sibling up there
My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog
