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March 2014 Moms
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UO (10/23)

yalllowyalllow member
in March 2014 Moms
Starting this because I don't think anyone else has yet? And, I'm feeling bold today.  :D
Domesticated: 1 Hubs; 2 sons; 3 cats; & Broke
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Re: UO (10/23)

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  • yalllowyalllow member
    My thoughts when "perfect mom's" give me advice. 

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    Domesticated: 1 Hubs; 2 sons; 3 cats; & Broke
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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  • defri17defri17 member
    UO: I don't like holidays. Any of them. 
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  • SurpriseAt39SurpriseAt39 member
    defri17 said:

    UO: I don't like holidays. Any of them. 

    We can be friends just because you said this.
    This has been my feeling for many years. As far as I'm concerned, it's just another day... :D
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  • CruiseGirl28CruiseGirl28 member
    @bunnyfungo My baby will never throw a tantrum. She's a perfect angel. Just kidding! She already throws tantrums. I swear she acts more like a toddler than an infant.

    @babycaps I agree with you about the traveling thing. When I was opening gifts at our shower, I made a comment about traveling with her, and everyone laughed at me. We've done 2 vacations so far (driving) and we have a cruise planned (flying to) in April. I'm not dumb, I know vacations are going to be completely different than before. But part of why we want kids is to let them experience everything with us.

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  • SurpriseAt39SurpriseAt39 member
    I'm a TTM and I STILL get advice from people about what to do.
    MIL keeps telling me how it was when DH was a baby ...40 years ago... 8-}
    She expects me to do things the way SHE did, and I push back. I don't think she likes it.

    I agree that the 'this is what worked for me' is better than 'do it my way' approach.

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  • kelley72kelley72 member
    edited October 2014
    I just typed a whole bunch of stuff and then deleted it.  way shorter:

    If you think when I was  a ftm /sahm of one I mothered the way I did less than 5 years later with 4 you're crazy, and if you think the way I do things with Levi is the same I did years ago you're even more  wrong.  Not only does each child affect the way you parent, but you change not only with mothering experience but with age. It's called life.  

    I hate for people to tell me what I must do, certainly the delivery of suggestions is important, but it is not more important than the message.  
    opps edit for spelling
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  • tsmith312tsmith312 member
    Every baby/child is different.  That being said  ,parenting is going to have to be   different you have to do what's  best for your family . And sometimes what was best for your first child may not be what's best for your second .... or third , or other peoples children etc...

     

    Married  : ** 09/09/2011  ** BFP : 07-18-13 ** Baby #1 is a GIRL , Born 03/12/14 ** 
    ** BFP 2 :  01- 05-15 ** EDD 09-11-15 **

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  • BethRN1987BethRN1987 member
    I also think disposable's are gross- they smell awful and the poop explosions are frequent. I love that my cloth contains everything.

    Is the thought of messing with it gross? Yep but I have a sprayer that gets all the poop off and gloves :)

    You put clothes that have gotten poop on them in the wash after rinsing them off- almost same things.


    As far as ftm/stm thing- I'm uptight about certain things and really laid back about others. Give advice if it is wanted otherwise keep it to yourself
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  • SurpriseAt39SurpriseAt39 member
    lovethatdirtywater said:


    lincbeesmom said:

    I feel like if you are having CONSTANT poopsplosions in disposable diapers, you're not doing something right.

    This, It's time to move up to the next size.

    Or check that the ruffles are out...
    Or try a different brand...

    My DD and DS1 leaked in Huggies frequently.
    Otherwise, The only leaks were when they had liquid poo (liquid while EBF), but even then, leaks were rare.
    We have used Pampers except the few times we tried Huggies. Extremely rare to have messes.
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  • jcoffeebeansjcoffeebeans member
    @lincbeesmom‌ agree on Vera Bradley! It just reminds me of old fashioned grandmothers.

    But I do love me some QVC!!
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  • kelley72kelley72 member
    Monster1984 said:
    I agree with @Babylimas that this issue is less about ftm/stm+ and more about personality. The idea of a ftm being super neurotic/anixious/stressed/whatever is a stereotype. I'm a FTM and am super relaxed. As a well-educated, 30 year old woman I resent being called a "kid" just because I happen to be a FTM. Just because it is someones experience that they were a stress-case with their first child and more relaxed with their second, doesn't mean that experience is true for others. 

    Stereotypes are ridiculous. Maybe that is my second UO of the day. 
    yikes who said kid=ftm

    Anyway, yes I agree with the idea that your particular personality has as much or more to do with anything than being ftm or stm.   I do think on this board and in general irl I hear more absolute I'll never's, I wouldn't ever, my child will never, etc with ftm's no matter their personality.  It just comes with the territory and I'm sure I said/did that sort of thing too.  I'll never forget a few months after my brother and his wife had their first child he apologized for all the "tips" he'd given me.  He said something like I guess I knew everything before I had kids and now I know how much I didn't have a clue on.  It was a very sweet conversation.
    It reminded me of how I had never realized how much my mother loved me until I had my first child.  That was a powerful gut punch!

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  • SurpriseAt39SurpriseAt39 member
    Blonderedhead781 said:

    I think (and I could be wrong) but SAHM are more likely to be freaked out more easily than working moms. I only say this because we are forced to trust others to take care of our LOs.

    I disagree.
    At least for me.
    I don't get 'freaked' out about stuff. They eat off the floor, which may not be as clean as I like. They lick the shopping cart handles because I can't control their every move.
    I think about what it must have been like when I was a baby in a shabby old farm house with hardwood floors and playing outside in piles of sand, coming in to eat without washing our hands, breathing in second hand smoke all day long wherever we went and we are still alive.
    Sick people cough on my kids, I don't rush them to the doctor.
    I don't stress when a new sitter comes over.

    I don't think it makes a difference about SAHM vs WM or FTM vs STM+.
    I think it's primarily your own personal attitude and how you feel about things in general.
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  • linzerdlinzerd member
    edited October 2014
    Monster1984 said:

    I agree with @Babylimas that this issue is less about ftm/stm+ and more about personality. The idea of a ftm being super neurotic/anixious/stressed/whatever is a stereotype. I'm a FTM and am super relaxed. As a well-educated, 30 year old woman I resent being called a "kid" just because I happen to be a FTM. Just because it is someones experience that they were a stress-case with their first child and more relaxed with their second, doesn't mean that experience is true for others. 


    Stereotypes are ridiculous. Maybe that is my second UO of the day. 
    This. Especially when the person/high priestess sanctimommy calling you a "kid" is a decade younger than you. Yup. I said it. No shame.
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  • SurpriseAt39SurpriseAt39 member
    CHPhotoMama said:


    My UO for the day: mobile babies are more fun than potted plant babies. :-)

    I think mobile is more fun. :D
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  • kelley72kelley72 member
    lovethatdirtywater said:
    SurpriseAt39 said:
    I don't think it makes a difference about SAHM vs WM or FTM vs STM+. I think it's primarily your own personal attitude and how you feel about things in general.
    Ichoices re: how you prioritize). Having more than one kid does change you and how you parent. 
    Yes, this is true.

    And look at this how crazy I have managed to get inside the quote and highlight, delete crazy!
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  • babylimasbabylimas member
    I agree that I roll my eyes at any definitive rule or "I would never." I just disagree that it comes from FTMs only. I see it as much from STMs as FTM. So I don't really see that distinction. 

    CoughIcingCough. 
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  • babylimasbabylimas member
    mfarmer0811 said:
    I don't like all the STM, TTM, etc. talk. What if someone doesn't ever get the opportunity to be a STM? The whole "you just wait till another one comes along" phrase is a slap in the face! I would be ecstatic if we were blessed with another one, but I raise my son every day knowing that he may never have a sibling, and that I may NEVER get to do this again. 
    My online BFF is a singleton mother because of IF. She kicks my ass in the mom department. 
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  • mfarmer0811mfarmer0811 member
    babylimas said:
    mfarmer0811 said:
    I don't like all the STM, TTM, etc. talk. What if someone doesn't ever get the opportunity to be a STM? The whole "you just wait till another one comes along" phrase is a slap in the face! I would be ecstatic if we were blessed with another one, but I raise my son every day knowing that he may never have a sibling, and that I may NEVER get to do this again. 
    My online BFF is a singleton mother because of IF. She kicks my ass in the mom department. 
    @babylimas that is interesting. My friends IRL ask me all the time how I make it look so easy, and that I'm so relaxed, and do such a good job. I don't want to be over-confident in the mommy department, but I think the difference is IF moms/couples had years (usually) thinking about how they were going to be as a parent. I went through so many scenarios in my head before we got our BFP of how I would handle certain situations, and just how I would be a mom in general. Don't get me wrong, this mom thing is hard, but I think I was able to mentally prepare myself for that more than the average parent. I guess if there is one positive thing about going through IF is that you know without a shadow of a doubt that you want to be a parent, at least that is how it was for me. 
    Me 28 DH 30 Married 08-11-07 TTC since 07/11 HSG 01-21-13 Left FTB Seeing RE 1-28-13 RE 1-28-13 Both tubes blocked LAP surgery 2-15-13 Both tubes removed Started IVF #1 June 2013 Meds: BCP, Lupron, Gonal-F, Ovidrel, Medrol, Doxycycline
    Beta #1-BFP!!! HCG-55 Beta #2--111 Beta #3--2,825 Beta #4 22,031 1st U/S 7-29-13 Saw and heard our little sweet pea's heartbeat!! 109 bpm 


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  • jcoffeebeansjcoffeebeans member
    My UO: I don't think anyone should share someone else's news anywhere on social media unless they ok it with the other person first or they are part of the news.

    It's rather annoying when I get tagged in a post to FB saying congratulations are in order and now I have to field nosy requests about whether I'm pregnant again from people on FB. My M I L is notorious for doing this and did it with our house news - we signed the contract but haven't signed the mortgage loan provisions yet so, call me superstitious, but I don't want to count my chickens before they are hatched with people other than the people I choose to tell my news to (like my favorite Bumpies!).
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  • kelley72kelley72 member
    mfarmer0811 said:
    I don't like all the STM, TTM, etc. talk. What if someone doesn't ever get the opportunity to be a STM? The whole "you just wait till another one comes along" phrase is a slap in the face! I would be ecstatic if we were blessed with another one, but I raise my son every day knowing that he may never have a sibling, and that I may NEVER get to do this again. 
    Valid point @mfarmer0811   no disrespect to you or any other couple that desires more lo's and are unable for various reasons, there are differences between all families. I have a different family /parenting style than a mom with all girls, and moms of multiples, etc.  and I can appreciate the emotional tug based on that.  The topic being discussed I can see could be hurtful to you, it was not my intent.  
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  • linzerdlinzerd member
    FarmBoysWife said:
    I agree with @Babylimas that this issue is less about ftm/stm+ and more about personality. The idea of a ftm being super neurotic/anixious/stressed/whatever is a stereotype. I'm a FTM and am super relaxed. As a well-educated, 30 year old woman I resent being called a "kid" just because I happen to be a FTM. Just because it is someones experience that they were a stress-case with their first child and more relaxed with their second, doesn't mean that experience is true for others. 

    Stereotypes are ridiculous. Maybe that is my second UO of the day. 
    This. Especially when the person/high priestess sanctimommy calling you a "kid" is a decade younger than you. Yup. I said it. No shame.
    This was pretty civil until you strolled in.. Again.
    Oh you're right, I just ruin everything!! Psshhht. Please. I love how everyone can jump down my throat and call me a sanctimommy like a bunch of vicious chihuahuas over BF vs. FF, but if I say it regarding someone else, well I am just ruining a "civil" debate.  Last time I checked it's not particularly civil to call a bunch of grown women "kids".  You may have well just said we are all immature/childish and have no idea what we are doing. I reiterate...PLEASE. Monster eyeroll over here.
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  • kelley72kelley72 member
    @YankeePeach08 you're pretty perfect!  
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  • jcoffeebeansjcoffeebeans member
    I love @YankeePeach08‌ !! But I'm pretty sure that's not an UO.
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  • YankeePeach08YankeePeach08 member
    kelley72 said:
    @YankeePeach08 you're pretty perfect!  

    jcoffeebeans said:
    I love @YankeePeach08‌ !! But I'm pretty sure that's not an UO.
    y'all googled MILF meme didn't ya  ;)
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  • fish8412fish8412 member
    LO doesn't have a Sophie the giraffe. I think it's dangerous, stupid, and overpriced.
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  • mfarmer0811mfarmer0811 member
    kelley72 said:
    mfarmer0811 said:
    I don't like all the STM, TTM, etc. talk. What if someone doesn't ever get the opportunity to be a STM? The whole "you just wait till another one comes along" phrase is a slap in the face! I would be ecstatic if we were blessed with another one, but I raise my son every day knowing that he may never have a sibling, and that I may NEVER get to do this again. 
    Valid point @mfarmer0811   no disrespect to you or any other couple that desires more lo's and are unable for various reasons, there are differences between all families. I have a different family /parenting style than a mom with all girls, and moms of multiples, etc.  and I can appreciate the emotional tug based on that.  The topic being discussed I can see could be hurtful to you, it was not my intent.  
    @kelley72 Thanks for that. I didn't think it was your intent. ;) No harm, no foul? 
    Me 28 DH 30 Married 08-11-07 TTC since 07/11 HSG 01-21-13 Left FTB Seeing RE 1-28-13 RE 1-28-13 Both tubes blocked LAP surgery 2-15-13 Both tubes removed Started IVF #1 June 2013 Meds: BCP, Lupron, Gonal-F, Ovidrel, Medrol, Doxycycline
    Beta #1-BFP!!! HCG-55 Beta #2--111 Beta #3--2,825 Beta #4 22,031 1st U/S 7-29-13 Saw and heard our little sweet pea's heartbeat!! 109 bpm 


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