My twins are 5 weeks and I am drowning. My MIL is coming back in town for another week and a half long visit and I have a mother's helper 2 days a week for a few hours plus my mom helps some during the day but I still can't keep it together most days. I feel like everyone cries all the time unless I am nursing them when I am alone. And they do nothing but nurse! No one will nap at the same time either. We also have a 22 month old DS who is awesome, but a wild man but he's in daycare. I know I have it good compared to some but I guess I just needed to vent. How do you all hold your sh!t together??
When does the light at the end of the tunnel come?? I'm already wanting to go back to work and that makes me feel like crap
Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
Re: Yet Another MOM Drowning Post
dx: hypothalamic ammenorhea & MFI. TTC #1 since 7/09.12/09: DH had varicocele surgery. 5/10-8/10: IUI + Clomid #1-4 BFN, 9/10: IUI #5 + Clomid: BFP!!! Tyler Liam 6/3/11 7 lbs. 2 oz. 20 in. TTC #2 since 11/12. IUI + Clomid #1-2 Clomid: BFN, new RE: IUI + injectibles: BFN. Onto IVF#1 Antagonist: July '13: Estrogen, Provera, Menopur/Gonal/Cetrotide; ER 8/6: 8 eggs, 6 mature, 5 fert. with ICSI; 5D SET 8/11: BFN FET 2 embryos scheduled 9/13: BFP!!! 10/13: 2 heartbeats! Twin boys due 6/1/14!
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
My oldest was 3y2m when the twins were born, so a bit older. He was also in daycare. It was very hard for a while to have all 3 by myself especially if I had to tandem BF in that window. We allowed a lot of screen time. A lot. More than I liked, but I didn't trust him left to his own devices while I had a baby on each boob.
It got incrementally better every 3 mo. Seriously. And since they turned a year, it's been (relatively) smooth sailing. Either that or I've been so normalized to the chaos I don't even notice it anymore. Prob a bit of both
The beginning is really hard. I'd call my sister a lot to have to come and hold a baby for a few hours. The best was actually having people come and play w my oldest since I felt like he was getting the shaft attention-wise.
This too shall pass and will soon be a distant memory and no one will any worse for the wear. I think that's a record for idioms in one sentence, btw.
I am tandem feeding but sometimes when I have to wake and rouse one baby who isn't as hungry, he seems to not eat well so he's back up an hour and a half later and the schedule gets off. I am trying to utilize the swings and bouncers as much as I can but when they cry in them I get frustrated. I need to work on my patience.
I just cant image how I will ever survive this but I know we will and that my 3 boys who will be 21 months apart will the the very best friends!
Just.got.to.push.through! I know we don't really know each other but you have all been instrumental in helping me through my pregnancy and navigating these insane twinfant waters. Hugs!
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
I am still waiting for it to get easier too and I don't any other kids. My hats off to you ladies who handle 3 at home!
Hang in there mama - it will get better. I felt exactly the same way. I had a lot of help from my mother, a hired helper, but I was a DISASTER for several months. My girls were screamers too. So. Much. Crying, it was awful, those double meltdowns were terrible at that age. I spent a good part of those first 3 months crying along with them and developed major anxiety about bedtime. They were terrible sleepers, terrible nappers. At night I never got more than 2 consecutive hours out of them. They would take 4 half hour naps a day, there was no way to get their schedules in synch with naps that short and I never knew if I was coming or going. Things started to turn the corner for me around 4-6 months. Around then, it became much easier to sooth them when they were both upset. I could hold one and sing or talk to the other one or distract them with a toy.
Their naps also started to settle into a more predictable pattern at 5ish months, and that was when I was able to start getting their schedules in synch. It took awhile though - it was much more difficult than other MOMs made it sound, so don't get discouraged if you are having trouble with that, I think it just can take awhile with some babies.
I also recommend earplugs during the screamfests. These were a lifesaver when I discovered these. You can still hear them and tend to them, but it takes the edge off. Baby screaming really sets me off into a panic and I would get so upset myself, that it was impossible to calm them if I myself, was freaking out too.
Good luck hun! I will tell you that we just passed the 1 year mark and we are having a lot of fun now, so good times are ahead for you!
TTC #2 since July 2010
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS! Boy/Girl Twins delivered at 36 weeks 6 days
This thread brought back a lot of memories. Have you tried walks or car rides? My girls liked to either be in the stroller or in the ergo and I could get at least 30 minutes of peace that way. I didn't even have to walk very fast, it could be very slow and leisurely. Or we'd go in the car. They usually would fall right to sleep in the car. I know now at 2, they like car rides and their DVD player keeps their attention for at least 45 minutes. Maybe all 3 of your kids would be okay going on a 45 minute car ride?
I think the hardest part about that age is the fact that most of my day was spent in my recliner. I was either nursing or holding sleeping babies or doing both at the same time. It was so frustrating to look around at my filthy house and just sit there, or to know that I hadn't showered or brushed my teeth and it was 3 o'clock. I would have fleeting thoughts of just running away. I would never do that but it definitely crossed my mind.
I promise it will get better. You just have to ride through this any way you can.
It gets better. It will still be hard, but it gets better. My boys will be 6 months tomorrow. They are getting close to sitting up on their own and they will play in their bouncers for a while. SOmetimes I put them in their high chairs and roll them into the bathroom while I get ready. It's still hard, but so much better.
Right now all those babies do is take - they can't give anything back yet. In a week or two they will start to smile...and that will help. Then they'll start to coo and babble...and that will help. And then they wont want to nurse all day every day...and that will help.
one day at a time. You can do it. Accept every single offer of help (I still do).
xoxo...it's especially hard with a toddler in the mix too. Just keep swimming.
I can barely remember those first 4 months because all I did was sit around and hold babies all day long. I felt useless and I pretty much lost my mind some days. However I'm here today as my almost 11 month old boys (how the heck are they that old already?!?) are fast asleep and I can't believe how fast time has flown. Take a deep breath, cherish the cuddles when you can, and remember that in 10 months you'll be sitting in my shoes patting yourself on the back because you did it. And you did it well. Very well. Every day gets a little better and once they can establish a schedule you will be able to breath a sigh of relief. Remember that God hand picks moms of multiples because he knows we are the strongest. Hang in there momma...there are such GREAT times ahead!