"You don't even look pregnant!"

xomegabee1218ox · October 2014

I have had many people say this to me lately in different ways.. I'm 18 weeks and I have already gained about 20 lbs. I was pretty thin when I conceived and I feel like I definitely look pregnant ...but I don't know if it's just me being hormonal and my typical over analyzing self but to me this statement really offends me... Am I crazy and people are just complimenting me ?

xomegabee1218ox · October 2014

Also meant to say that this was said by two friends who didn't show until about 6 months since they were a little heavier and a few family members ( the most recent person to be pregnant was my sister In law who had twins.. So obviously she or big much quicker )

CoozieInMyPurse · October 2014

I asked my husband yesterday for reassurance that I looked pregnant and not just fat. I think this is simply the part of pregnancy that comes with a lot of anxiety about appearance, especially for FTMs.

xomegabee1218ox · October 2014

CoozieInMyPurse said:
I asked my husband yesterday for reassurance that I looked pregnant and not just fat. I think this is simply the part of pregnancy that comes with a lot of anxiety about appearance, especially for FTMs.

Yes thank you! I've done the same thing everytime we hav had somewhere to go I'm a ftm and I am at that awkward stage between pre pregnancy clothes and maternity clothes where nothing is fitting right

Ladylec · October 2014

All last pregnancy I got was "are you sure you're not having twins?" and that was even said to me by a woman who had given birth to twins. By that I'm guessing they meant "wow you are huge!"

All this pregnancy I have gotten "you don't even look pregnant!" By that I am guessing they mean "can't believe you aren't as fat as last time."

Either way, people are annoying and even compliments can come off bitchy when you're pregnant and sensitive about the way you looke and the only "compliment" anyone should say to a pregnant woman is "wow, you are so beautiful!"

xomegabee1218ox · October 2014

Next time I will say something in the moment... When it was said to me last night I blew it off then I couldn't get it out of my head and my hubby even said to me how frustrated he was about it being said. So next time I'll just say well you must forget I was very thin and now I have this belly or something. I took offense but then when I mentioned this to my mom today she said people might mean it as a compliment so I wasn't sure if I was overreacting

xomegabee1218ox · October 2014

I just don't get it. Everyone who said it is close family and friends who are genuinely excited for our first pregnancy but I couldn't. Imagine saying that to someone

janda426 · October 2014

I can't stand hearing that either. I've only gained 8 pounds so far (not bragplaining, dr and I are fine with my weight gain so far) so obviously I'm not showing that much yet. I wish I had a little bit more of a belly and actually looked 5.5 months pregnant but whatever, I'm sure it'll come.

koshveily · October 2014

You could ask them, "Do you mean that I'm carrying so beautifully and you're astonished by my incredible feminine physique? If that's the case, then thank you." 8->

ninamyspace · October 2014

I gained over 10 pounds and I hear about how I don't look pregnant, just that I gained some weight ha. I think it's meant to be a compliment.

drudolph11 · October 2014

Your not crazy this really bothers me too. Since getting pregnant i have actually lost weight about 5 lbs because of how bad my MS has been. I am desperately trying to gain weight but i literally just can't. According to my dr I'm about 10 - 15 lbs behind right now:/ i have had people asking me if i was eating since i didn't look like im 19 weeks. I feel like it's them saying "your not taking care of your self or your starving your baby". I mean really really close friends and family can get away with it but other than that i get super pissed about any bump comments.

Bostonchelle · October 2014

I've had people tell me I don't look pregnant and others tell me wow- that's a big bump for this early. I chock it up to people are just stupid!

LBeez13 · October 2014

Yeah I got this a lot my last pregnancy and I got it a bunch yesterday. I honestly do think in most cases they were trying to be nice or complimenting. I do think people sometimes just don't know what to say.

I remember once I told a mom that she looked great especially for having 2 kids in the past 2 years. She looked at me and said yeah I just want to look great without people having to add the "especially for having 2 kids." It really hit me that I thought I was being nice but that isn't really nice. Now I just tell moms, "you look great."

blueroad · October 2014

I have gotten this a lot in the last few weeks. I just take it as a compliment. There is still plenty of time for our bumps to fill out.

genmccarley · October 2014

I think people mean this as a compliment. I've got it a few times the last few weeks and maybe people just expect women to be larger earlier than they actually are? I know that it is starting to become pretty obvious and definitely will be in the coming weeks so I just try not to take it personally.

Biscotto · October 2014

I've had many people say I don't look pregnant at all. I'm 20 weeks and feel enourmous. It's weird that people say whatever they want.

ajacot924 · October 2014

I'm glad you posted this. I've been experiencing the same thing. I often ask my husband "Do I look pregnant or fat?" I'm sure he loves it.

Ashlee692 · October 2014

I get annoyed when people say this to me lol I'm glad you posted it. It's like iv gained 30lbs dude are you just trying to call me a fatty or what? My boss says it constantly because I wear scrubs all day and my bump is just now showing through them at 21 weeks.

allachkat · October 2014

I feel the same. I'm extremely tired of weight comments. When I was home last week, people kept telling me I'm 'too thin'. It makes me really mad because I'm eating well and comments like that make me feel like I'm hurting the baby or something.

ngolimento · October 2014

It's most likely people that are trying to be nice. Especially moms who where treated to the "you're so big!" crap. I personally got told I barely show the other day, and I could have cried, I was so grateful.

Of course, this was not long after my boss asked me if my doctor was OK with how big I was getting already. I was so shocked that I couldn't even process it for like a day.

wishiwaspreggo · October 2014

I'm glad I'm not the only one I've been feeling kind of self-conscious about my figure lately because I really do feel like I'm that weird in-between phase. I haven't gained any weight (thankfully) but my shape is shifting for sure. My belly is hard and rounder but it's not any larger than it was before so I feel like a weenie wearing my maternity clothes. But the problem is if I wear regular shirts they roll up and expose my maternity pants, which I definitely do need now that my stomach is hard and won't compress down with my buttons or zippers.

Kind of sucks. But then I'm still glad no one is saying anything to me about it yet (i.e. no creepy strangers rubbing my belly and no one is commenting on how I look).

I don't even understand why people feel like they can take the liberty to comment on our size, weight, etc. just because we're pregnant. Even if a woman is clearly 8-9 months pregnant, I don't say a damned thing unless she brings it up to me first. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about it. I hate attention and dread when people start making ME talk about it.

Our babies won't get any smaller so it's coming.

wishiwaspreggo · October 2014

Peledreamsofrain said:

It's most likely people that are trying to be nice. Especially moms who where treated to the "you're so big!" crap. I personally got told I barely show the other day, and I could have cried, I was so grateful. Of course, this was not long after my boss asked me if my doctor was OK with how big I was getting already. I was so shocked that I couldn't even process it for like a day.

Who does that?! Seriously!!! That is between YOU and your doctor. Every woman is different. Some will show from 8 weeks on, some don't show until 30 weeks. It's no one's fucking business though, that's for sure.

UGH, I HATE that people can do this to us and it's somehow socially acceptable!!! From your boss no less That's rough, I'm so sorry.

xomegabee1218ox · October 2014

Thank you all so much for responding I appreciate all the input and other people "venting" about their experiences like mine.. Thanks for the support!

lankyhobbit · October 2014

This is why I refuse to do "bump update photos" because I feel like it's just inviting people to tell me I'm not eating enough and neglecting my baby. Even though I know I look healthy and right on schedule for 17 weeks compared to pre-preg body, strangers would think I'm not pregnant.

I've gained 13 lb and I'm 17 weeks today and i'm at that in-between of regular clothes being too painful on my "bump" even though it's not protruding more than 2 inch than my normal belly but XS maternity clothes are too big under the black stretch part.

honkytonk_kid · October 2014

I think people just like to hear words come out of their own mouths, or feel like they have to say something. It's not necessarily a compliment or an insult (I mean, some are- but "you look ready to pop!/ "You're barely showing!" =/= "wow, even your arms got really fat.")

People are weird about babies too. The same baby can get, "Oh what a chunker! He's huge!" and 10 minutes later, "Ohh he's so tiny!"

Agentluna · October 2014

I just got a job right when I got pregnant and it's pretty physical at times and always on my feet. I've been losing weight from being sick, eating better and the work so when people see me they all think it's crazy when I say I'm pregnant. My belly is rounding so it kinda hits me hard to hear that since then I just feel like I'm fat and nothing else to people. Only people that know me really notice but everyone else is oblivious.

corysgirls · October 2014

I take it as a compliment now, but as a ftm it really bugged me. Thanks to a tilted uterus I don't really show until I'm between 24-28 weeks. I literally go to bed looking "normal" not preg me and wake up with a good size bump. For me it's got it's perks- I can still wear all my normal clothes (20 weeks yesterday!) and my tummy doesn't get in the way yet. But sometimes I get side looks like maybe I've slipped back into old habits (I had some eating disorder tendencies) and once someone even accused me of faking a pregnancy to get "pregnancy perks". I figure as long as my baby is healthy, I'm healthy, and my dr is ok with our health, everyone else can go take a leap.

TwinsCitiesMomma · October 2014

Being thin all my life (not bragging), I've been so happy to actually put on some weight. I've also dealt with infertility for 6 years so I too get pissed when people tell me that I "don't look" pregnant. I usually want to tell them to fuck off but instead I just smile. Next time I'm going to use Koshveily's quote, "Do you mean that I'm carrying so beautifully and you're astonished by my incredible feminine physique? If that's the case, then thank you"- Loved that!

In general, I get annoyed when people tell me I'm skinny. To someone who has been called Olive Oil throughout high school, it is NOT a compliment. One time, some chick said to me, "Ugh, you are so skinny" and guess what I replied back…. "Ugh, you are so fat". That's all.

mamaparz430 · October 2014

Two things that bring out unwarranted ignorant comment: weddings and pregnancy. I don't let much get to me and I don't really pay attention to how fat or not fat I'm looking or feeling. There is a line in the wizard of oz where Dorothy and the scarecrow are chatting and She asks him how he can talk if he hasn't got a brain and his reply that I love is "there people without any brains that do an aweful lot of talking"...wise words from a brainless scarecrow. There's also a proverb "better remain silent and leave your foolishness a mystery, than to open your mouth and confirm their suspicions." You keep dancing like no ones watching, sing like no one is listening and turn the volume down on the ignorance, there's too much of it out there to go around.

jpavenski · October 2014

When I was around 7 months with my son my hubby & I went to a resort spa & a women there told me I looked like I was ready to pop! I was like ya in like three more months:( but this time I have actually gotten a lot of you look so small comments which I haven't minded. Of course I also got the "your all belly comment" at the end of my first pregnancy which I was not, almost 40 pounds so no it was not all in my belly. I wanted to be like no your insulting my regular body now cause my ass & thighs were def not this big before! So ya I guess I like the you don't even look pregnant comment a little better:)

nicoleB22815 · October 2014

Im very petite and I also get that all the time! I've only gained about 7 lbs but the dr said it's totally fine for my small frame. I'm 21 weeks tomorrow and everyone I work with gives me such a hard time about it!! I guess by the end I'll be happy I didn't gain very much but it is kind of frustrating when people are always saying "where is your bump?!'" "Are you sure there's a little girl in there?!"

suzyq0525 · October 2014

My husband keeps asking when I'm going to start showing. It drives me nuts. I wish I looked pregnant!

lib1974 · October 2014

Early on in mine I got the "are you sure there aren't two in there?" Ugh. NO I am just extremely bloated thank you not very much. Now I look normal like my bump has caught up to the bloat. People just say dumb shit without thinking, it's annoying but since dealing with so much infertility I LOVE it when they say now "Oh look you are showing!". Totally get your, ALL OF YOUR pain. Hugs

kct711 · October 2014

My coworkers are constantly talking about my bump and it drives me crazy! I know they aren't trying to be rude, but I'm so self conscience that the comments make me want to cry! I'm having a hard time with my changing body, I would rather them not comment at all.

LadySnowblood · October 2014

jpavenski said:

When I was around 7 months with my son my hubby & I went to a resort spa & a women there told me I looked like I was ready to pop! I was like ya in like three more months:( but this time I have actually gotten a lot of you look so small comments which I haven't minded. Of course I also got the "your all belly comment" at the end of my first pregnancy which I was not, almost 40 pounds so no it was not all in my belly. I wanted to be like no your insulting my regular body now cause my ass & thighs were def not this big before! So ya I guess I like the you don't even look pregnant comment a little better

Yeah, me too. When I was pregnant with DS, every time I saw him towards the end, my FIL would say, "Man, you're going to have a BIIIIGGGG baby!" And every time, I wanted to punch him in the fucking face. The baby weighted 5.10 when he was born (40 weeks on the dot). Yeah, way to go FIL.

TwinsCitiesMomma · October 2014

kct711 said:

My coworkers are constantly talking about my bump and it drives me crazy! I know they aren't trying to be rude, but I'm so self conscience that the comments make me want to cry! I'm having a hard time with my changing body, I would rather them not comment at all.

I would say next time start crying right in front of them…maybe then the insensitive jerks will get the point. Or just crotch punch them.

bdazzld · October 2014

aylacbw said:

It annoys me in general when people comment on the size of my bump. I just think it's weird. I have had people recently ask if I'm about to pop (I'm as big as a house when pregnant, because I have a really short torso). I have also had people tell me I look tiny, maybe to try to pay a compliment? I don't know. But I agree with you, it's offensive. Next time maybe try to give it right back to them, no matter what they say? That way they realize it was kind of rude without you having to actually confront them?

I look about 8 months pregnant atm for the same reason -.- think it's worrying my bosses a little earlier then it should LOL I have to remind them, MARCH!

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