Post partum questions you are dreading...

moroccojade · October 2014

Speaking of sticking around after all of these babies arrive...

I am wondering which questions/discussions on this board you are not looking forward to?

We know the ones that have been a PITA the last 30+ weeks (US/guess the "gender" questions, name questions, MP questions). But what do you think is to come that might get on your nerves?

moroccojade · October 2014

I have two....

I am not looking forward to sleep training discussions. (ie, "Is it ok to let my baby CIO (cry it out) at 3 weeks?")

And the second....

"My baby is SOOO cute. Like the cutest thing ever. Everyone says so and is telling me I need to get him (or her) into modeling and acting ASAP. How do I go about finding an agent, building a portfolio and getting my wee cutie pie some work?"

Snuffy007 · October 2014

Good question! As a FTM I have no idea what is coming, but I'd like to see the answers so I can prepare myself

I'm guessing questions along the lines of
-How are you feeling?
-Are you getting any sleep?
-Isn't it life changing?
will become completely obnoxious after a few days

wildflower75 · October 2014

The questions on this board that will annoy me will probably be the ones that can usually be googled... about baby's poo or sleeping or eating or stuff like baby acne.
And depending on how they are presented weight loss threads could make me ragey as well...

moroccojade · October 2014

wildflower75 said: The questions on this board that will annoy me will probably be the ones that can usually be googled... about baby's poo or sleeping or eating or stuff like baby acne.
And depending on how they are presented weight loss threads could make me ragey as well...
~~~quote box dysfunction~~~
A good friend of mine who gave birth in August just had someone phone her and said "You are going to hate me, but I have to let you know because we are getting together this weekend. I have lost ALL the baby weight and am in pre-pregnancy clothes. I know you are no where near that and just wanted to give you a heads up..."

So yeah. Weight loss stuff can be a bit touchy if not brought up in the right way!

Maelara · October 2014

I am also somewhat dreading the sleep questions. I'm also dreading people coming on here and toting the baby wise books as a solution. I sort of get all preachy when it comes to following your babies lead over them 'fitting' into your life. I have very strong opinions in this area.

Dimples0101 · October 2014

aragosta said:

I thought this was gonna be from other people. Because when DS1 was born about a week later my DH's grandpa asked me how my bottom was. That was awkward.

That's what I thought, too. My MIL used to always ask, "So, are you still nursing?" Yup...I am...

I also lost a ton of weight after DD and she would ask "How much weight have you lost?" Or "How much do you weigh now?" Literally every.single.time. I saw her (which was pretty frequent). It made me so self-conscious.

moroccojade · October 2014

Dimples0101 said:

aragosta said:

I thought this was gonna be from other people. Because when DS1 was born about a week later my DH's grandpa asked me how my bottom was. That was awkward.

That's what I thought, too. My MIL used to always ask, "So, are you still nursing?" Yup...I am...
I also lost a ton of weight after DD and she would ask "How much weight have you lost?" Or "How much do you weigh now?" Literally every.single.time. I saw her (which was pretty frequent). It made me so self-conscious.

Take the question anyway you like, friends. There are PLENTY of post partum Qs to dread. Here and IRL. :P

absolutelymaybe · October 2014

Oooh, good thread idea! Since I am one of the FTMs who hasn't BTDT, I'll know what not to ask :-)

So far, I'm pretty good at researching things myself. Plus, the whole having twins thing means I'll probably target my ignorant/annoying questions at the multiples board. You ladies lucked out!

howin23 · October 2014

I expect to be annoyed by everyone who posts about how they already lost all the weight before they even got home from the hospital, or in the first week, or whatever.

MissN06 · October 2014

I'm thinking baby poo questions with pictures will drive me nuts.

Also my baby is showing symptoms X, Y, Z should I call the Dr.?

JFH2010 · October 2014

By far my least favorite non-board question is, when are you due?

wildflower75 · October 2014

IRL I am hoping people don't ask me if we are having another... I made it pretty clear to everyone that this is our last baby.

MuchlyGen · October 2014

JFH2010 said:

By far my least favorite non-board question is, when are you due?

Yeah, this one sucks postpartum. Though it is kind of amusing to see the look of utter panic in their eyes when you tell them you aren't.

Um... I dread random cutiepants pictures of babies that are inevitably strapped into their carseat wrong. Plus the "I know the law says not to but can I turn my baby forward facing at six months because I think she'll like it better!!!"

venussapphire · October 2014

Maelara said:

I am also somewhat dreading the sleep questions. I'm also dreading people coming on here and toting the baby wise books as a solution. I sort of get all preachy when it comes to following your babies lead over them 'fitting' into your life. I have very strong opinions in this area.

same here. If someone tries to put their babies on schedules right away I will laugh at them.

hiketheworld · October 2014

I'm dreading questions from the people I know about how I'm sleeping and my weight. I don't understand what makes people think weight questions are acceptable to ask just because some is/was pregnant.

As for internet people questions, I don't know. I feel like everything will be so new to me that even the dumbest question may not faze me very much.

CPM13 · October 2014

I hate when people ask how baby is sleeping.

"Is she sleeping through the night?"

"Um, no. She's 3 weeks old."

abbyful · October 2014

MuchlyGen said:
Um... I dread random cutiepants pictures of babies that are inevitably strapped into their carseat wrong. Plus the "I know the law says not to but can I turn my baby forward facing at six months because I think she'll like it better!!!"

And as someone who tries to follow best-practices with car seats (DS is 2 and still rear-facing, I'm not flipping him any time soon), I hate the comments & questions "he's not forward facing yet?!", "he can't be comfortable like that, his legs are squished!", etc.

hidingangel82 · October 2014

Board Questions Ill Hate: Re all of you answering weight, I could not agree more! I have avoided those threads here like the plague for the last 9 months, I don't look forward to the humble brags at all!

Real Life Question I Already Hate: "When are you having the next baby" question - UGH! Agree on this, too! Already know we are one and done, so *why* do people feel the need to convince us otherwise? I will be living at the OAD board after baby comes.

MissN06 · October 2014

hidingangel82 said:

Real Life Question I Already Hate: "When are you having the next baby" question - UGH! Agree on this, too! Already know we are one and done, so *why* do people feel the need to convince us otherwise? I will be living at the OAD board after baby comes.

We have talked about being one and done and I've made comments about it. I had a co-worker/friend freak out on me and let me know she would be talking to DH because we aren't allowed to be OAD. I smiled and turned to her in a group and said "since I wasn't supposed to be able to have any, I'd glad take just one" the group quickly dispersed.

MuchlyGen · October 2014

This is my third and I'm /still/ getting comments/questions/knowing looks about "the next one." We are done after this. My husband was done /before/ this, but we got a little surprise *cough* which we are truly joyful about but... we don't want anymore.

And when I tell you that we're done, we don't want anymore, that our family is complete... don't give me that look and that nod and that "mmm hmm, we'll see!" Chortlechortlechortle.

Srsly. With Charlie (my second) I didn't feel done. I knew my husband didn't want any more, so I tried to convince myself throughout the entire pregnancy and throughout the newborn stage, that I was doing it for the last time. I tried to cherish every moment because I wouldn't be doing it again... but I never believed it. Not really.

This time? This time FEELS like the last time.

So RL people, quit asking.

carcrashheart · October 2014

-give him rice cereal in his bottle.
-how is he sleeping?
-are you breast feeding?
-you should definitely put rice cereal in his bottle so he will sleep.

Rage.

howin23 · October 2014

@WildFlower810 I agree on not looking forward to the nosy questions, but sometimes there's a magnanimous motive to the diaper one. A family friend asked my mom what I'd be using, which I thought was pretty odd until they gave me two large packages of diapers. A lot of folks buy too many of one size so there's always the (small) chance they're just asking so they can give you some!

megbanachek · October 2014

IRL: I'm not ready for people to ask me about my labour & delivery (which hasn't even happened yet).
I feel like if I don't bring it up to share it with you, then you shouldn't be asking.

ssstephanie214 · October 2014

In real life, I am going to kill everyone who tells me I look tired, I must be so tired, i have new mom tired face.

On here, I will probably not enjoy "my baby slept for a four/five/six hour stretch is that normal" or any other kind of backdoor brag

jillybean7582 · October 2014

IRL I am not looking forward to all the questions I know I will get from my DH's family about if I plan to go back to work, then the inquisition on our daycare plans and how many hrs the kids are there, etc etc.....

This happened last time and is always a topic of discussion at any family gatherings with them 2yrs later...

Drives me insane that they just can't wrap their heads around the fact that I have a carreer and they are so judgmental about us letting other people raise our kids(their words not mine)

(Note this is his extended family like aunts, uncles, and cousins. His dad and sister do not say things like that and typically try to shut them up when they start)

Maelara · October 2014

carcrashheart said:

-give him rice cereal in his bottle. -how is he sleeping? -are you breast feeding? -you should definitely put rice cereal in his bottle so he will sleep. Rage.

This. So this. I once had a complete stranger ask/tell me all these things. Also, they told me to give N water at 4 months old. No, just no.

Maelara · October 2014

I am also not looking forward and already don't appreciate when people IRL ask about our future reproduction plans because we will have two girls. We are done with two. No matter what. I also had a customer ask 'what were you thinking?' When she found out I was pregnant and N is only 15 months old. Who asks that? It was an accident if you MUST know but my reproduction plans have nothing to do with you so stop commenting.

JustJainey · October 2014

I think I'm going to get an OAD t-shirt.

meeshybee · October 2014

As far as the board, I am already dreading the "Am I in labor?" posts. And I second the "baby has X symptoms, do I call the dr?"

IRL, I am already getting the "You've got your hands full" and "You're braver than me!" Maybe it's just the hormones, but the "How do you do it?" comments are starting to make me stabby, too. It's not like I have a choice. I'm a mom! It's not exactly something I can just quit doing when it gets stressful. I know people are trying to sound supportive, but it just puts even more pressure on me when my kids do misbehave.

JFH2010 · October 2014

CPM13 said:
I hate when people ask how baby is sleeping.

"Is she sleeping through the night?"
"Um, no. She's 3 weeks old."

Yes, and the worst is when this is framed as, "is he a good baby?" Why, no. The fact that he doesn't STTN at 3 weeks old is clearly indicative that I have spawned Satan's hell child. WTF?? People equate "good" with "easy," which is weird and stupid.

JFH2010 · October 2014

meeshybee said:
As far as the board, I am already dreading the "Am I in labor?" posts.

Last time I didn't mind the first 500 "Am I in labor posts." But the ladies who have already given birth will probably be dying over them by Thanksgiving! I had a 2-month-old baby before those started to taper off.

ColtiersMom · October 2014

I'm not looking forward to the a**holes who ask you how far along you are while you are holding a newborn...it happened to me after DS was born

soulcupcake · October 2014

I have a feeling I'll get questions about my decision to birth at home, or how long I'm going to breastfeed. Most likely from MIL. I can only imagine her reaction or expression to the "until she weans, but I'd like to make it to at least 24 months." My family doesn't ask those kinds of questions, and they already know I'm crunchy.

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