☆UO Thursday☆

CTri17 · October 2014

@JerseyAKL I totally agree with your caffeine post, I drank caffeine through all of my pregnancies previously, but I can admit that I'm being more neurotic (see I'm calling it like it is) and not drinking hardly any at all because I'm afraid of having a m/c again. I know it's neurotic , but that's where I'm at.

I'm guessing there are some others that fall into that group. That being said, I'm having some today because I want to

ETA: and I want to know why scatteredtrees got banned?!

OnceInLoveWithAmy · October 2014

itsmevkb said:

lovebeingblonde said:

I'm not sure I'm going to breastfeed. I understand the benefits to both of us, and even with my office having a dedicated room for nursing/pumping mothers... after reading about some of why other women had to give it up, I'm not sure its for me.

I can't stand the idea of my child being "raised" and getting their crucial learning from someone other than DH and I. There's no feasible way I could be a SAHM (unless DH gets a fat promotion), but I struggle with the idea of someone else being the first to experience something from MY CHILD. And I have this somewhat irrational fear that the child is going to become attached/bonded to that other person/those other people and not be as attached/bonded to DH and I if it spends the time we're at work in daycare or in the care of someone else.

Even though I'm a FTM... I'm not getting into pregnancy journals, blogs, weekly photos, etc. I just want to pop out a happy healthy kid in May. End of story.

So, are you opposed to children attending school? Do you consider a first grade teacher to be "raising" the students? I'm always fascinated by how daycare is considered having someone else raise your kids but for the vast majority, school isn't.

This. this this this this THIS. I got into an argument with a women in my real estate class because I mentioned my son going to daycare and she made some snide remark about someone else raising him. I raise my son. I teach him right from wrong. I teach him about love. His teachers may be teaching him the colors of the rainbow and numbers and such, but my husband and I teach him the morals we want him to have as an adult. No one else.

jennz201 · October 2014

Christ, I would be a terrible mother if I didn't work outside of the home and get some time away from my little darling. I suppose that is my UO.

Morenajuliet · October 2014

jennz201 said:
Christ, I would be a terrible mother if I didn't work outside of the home and get some time away from my little darling. I suppose that is my UO.

Agreed lady!

sarahchrismck · October 2014

mpiemont said:

I wash all our clothes together- whites, darks, delicates, jeans, etc. Separate loads????

I do this too! Everything goes in together, and comes out fine.

CTri17 · October 2014

sarahchrismck said:

mpiemont said:

I wash all our clothes together- whites, darks, delicates, jeans, etc. Separate loads????

I do this too! Everything goes in together, and comes out fine.

add me to this group. Wash on cold. done.

beezybaby · October 2014

I don't like snark! I think it is pointless and a waste of time and a poor excuse for grown women to be bullies.

At first I was really happy with how this board was going- a sense of accountability for questions/comment that truly don't belong here, but a general acceptance and great support and advice.

But now, I mean, It is just so boring! Soooooooooooooo many repeats. I almost find myself wanting more snark...

kj808 · October 2014

I guess my UO is that i'm sad that some of my favorite posters don't like this board because it's too P&R. I personally think it has a good balance of snark and P&R. That said, I'm excited for 2nd tri when by that time we'll pretty much have established regular posters and we can get to know each other much better.

LOL, I guess that's my P&R post for the day!

beezybaby · October 2014

GFJ48 said:

I don't like snark! I think it is pointless and a waste of time and a poor excuse for grown women to be bullies

FYI snark =/= bullying

Sometimes it crosses the line. Its just how I feel. I still participate on TB, and I'm not WK'ing all over the place. I don't complain about it. And, I am now gaining a healthy appreciation for it.

sarahchrismck · October 2014

OnceInLoveWithAmy said:

This. this this this this THIS. I got into an argument with a women in my real estate class because I mentioned my son going to daycare and she made some snide remark about someone else raising him. I raise my son. I teach him right from wrong. I teach him about love. His teachers may be teaching him the colors of the rainbow and numbers and such, but my husband and I teach him the morals we want him to have as an adult. No one else.

Oh, I would NOT be able to handle such a comment. I would love to SAH, but it's not going to happen. It's great that some women can, but some have to work, like myself. My husband's job does not provide insurance, and so if I didn't work, we'd need to buy our own. And on his income, we wouldn't be able to make ends meet. I would hate to have to "justify" why I have to continue working.

I guess my UO is that some (definitely NOT all!!!) SAHM's can be a little smug about the fact that they get to stay at home and "raise" their children. I get that it's amazing to be able to do that, but it's not a reality for everyone.

But don't you dare make a comment about how I won't be raising my child because he/she will be going to daycare for 8 hours a day.

OnceInLoveWithAmy · October 2014

Starbuck128 said:

Oh yay. It's time for the if you work someone else is raising your child convo.

DH works away from home full time. Sometimes he has to travel with his work. I guess this makes him a bad dad. I guess this means he isn't there for the firsts, isn't raising his son and hasn't bonded with his son. Let's dad shame all the men who reproduce without the financial ability or desire to stay home full time. Why don't we do this? Oh yeah, because it's stupid. Because it isn't true. We do this to women not because it's true, but because some women are insecure and deal with it by trying to shame other women. Pathetic.

I work a night shift every other week. Even though I am home with the monster for 6 hours in the morning, I still missed the first time he rolled over and the first time he sat up. But I still got to see it for the first time myself. And that was good enough for me.

Pintobean39 · October 2014

I'm so tired of listening to the news media causing unnecessary panic over an Ebola outbreak in the Us that just isn't happening. 2 people contacted Ebola when taking care of a dying man who was highly contagious at the time. Yet the 4 other patients that were treated in the us no one has contacted Ebola from them. This does not make an outbreak of Ebola.

It's not a conspiracy, the CDC isn't hiding things from us. Mistakes were made, end of story. It's time to learn from those mistakes and quit feeding the hysteria.

You shouldn't be worried about getting Ebola, now the flu ..... That's very possible. Go get your flu shot!!!

blastocarrier30 · October 2014

robotpcr said:

I give no fucks about weight gain and I don't even open the threads that have titles about gaining weight because all I can do is roll my eyes. I am doing exactly what I normally do- eat when I'm hungry (even if that's more often these days), stop when I'm full. Eat what sounds good. One day that might be Taco Bell, the next it will be salad. Again, no fucks given. I don't own a scale and couldn't tell you what I weighed at my last Ob appointment if you paid me. I am growing a child. I will gain what I gain. I trust that my body knows what it's doing.

THIS. The only time I care is when I can't find something to wear. And that's just for the 5 minutes until I find something that my bloat fits into. There are bigger fish to fry than this.

SassyPants150 · October 2014

Pintobean39 said:

I'm so tired of listening to the news media causing unnecessary panic over an Ebola outbreak in the Us that just isn't happening. 2 people contacted Ebola when taking care of a dying man who was highly contagious at the time. Yet the 4 other patients that were treated in the us no one has contacted Ebola from them. This does not make an outbreak of Ebola. It's not a conspiracy, the CDC isn't hiding things from us. Mistakes were made, end of story. It's time to learn from those mistakes and quit feeding the hysteria. You shouldn't be worried about getting Ebola, now the flu ..... That's very possible. Go get your flu shot!!!

These are usually the same people who post their sources from websites with names like bigpurpleeggplant.biz

jennz201 · October 2014

Pintobean39 said:

I'm so tired of listening to the news media causing unnecessary panic over an Ebola outbreak in the Us that just isn't happening. 2 people contacted Ebola when taking care of a dying man who was highly contagious at the time. Yet the 4 other patients that were treated in the us no one has contacted Ebola from them. This does not make an outbreak of Ebola. It's not a conspiracy, the CDC isn't hiding things from us. Mistakes were made, end of story. It's time to learn from those mistakes and quit feeding the hysteria. You shouldn't be worried about getting Ebola, now the flu ..... That's very possible. Go get your flu shot!!!

Yes! Gezus, I am sick of the panic. If you are a nurse, I can understand being uneasy. If you are not, simply do not kiss someone actively infected with Ebola, and you'll be fine.

jil1210 · October 2014

@OnceInLoveWithAmy‌ I was a stay at home mom for the first year and still missed my daughter rolling over for the first time and her first laugh! Both times I had left the room for under five minutes.
At the time I was sad but within a week I thought it was hilarious.

Poppy715 · October 2014

GFJ48 said:

beezybaby said:
I don't like snark! I think it is pointless and a waste of time and a poor excuse for grown women to be bullies

FYI snark =/= bullying

H god please don't ale is drag out that shot show of a thread again. They are not the same thing. Can they be at times? Sure but mostly no.

DawnLilly · October 2014

Pintobean39 said:
I'm so tired of listening to the news media causing unnecessary panic over an Ebola outbreak in the Us that just isn't happening. 2 people contacted Ebola when taking care of a dying man who was highly contagious at the time. Yet the 4 other patients that were treated in the us no one has contacted Ebola from them. This does not make an outbreak of Ebola.

It's not a conspiracy, the CDC isn't hiding things from us. Mistakes were made, end of story. It's time to learn from those mistakes and quit feeding the hysteria.

You shouldn't be worried about getting Ebola, now the flu ..... That's very possible. Go get your flu shot!!!

I agree with ebola. However, my son had enterovirus and I don't think the CDC has taken it seriously enough. There was an interview on CBS is Aug and a rep was addressing parents' concern. He chuckled and said it's very common and not deadly. Guess what kids have experienced paralysis and others have died.

I'm still ragey about the amount of time it took them to release the swab findings and notify people that it had come to our state. It was four weeks after my son experienced a high fever, decreased lung capacity (one side was nearly collapsed) and pneumonia before they released publicly that it was here. He's still on meds.

chetasu · October 2014

DawnLilly said:

I'm so tired of listening to the news media causing unnecessary panic over an Ebola outbreak in the Us that just isn't happening. 2 people contacted Ebola when taking care of a dying man who was highly contagious at the time. Yet the 4 other patients that were treated in the us no one has contacted Ebola from them. This does not make an outbreak of Ebola. It's not a conspiracy, the CDC isn't hiding things from us. Mistakes were made, end of story. It's time to learn from those mistakes and quit feeding the hysteria. You shouldn't be worried about getting Ebola, now the flu ..... That's very possible. Go get your flu shot!!!
I agree with ebola. However, my son had enterovirus and I don't think the CDC has taken it seriously enough. There was an interview on CBS is Aug and a rep was addressing parents' concern. He chuckled and said it's very common and not deadly. Guess what kids have experienced paralysis and others have died. I'm still ragey about the amount of time it took them to release the swab findings and notify people that it had come to our state. It was four weeks after my son experienced a high fever, decreased lung capacity (one side was nearly collapsed) and pneumonia before they released publicly that it was here. He's still on meds.

I'm sorry to hear about your son having this, I hope he gets better soon. Not sure where you are but here in AZ it's beginning to be a bigger fear than Ebola.

heaterb12 · October 2014

I don't think baby "firsts" are that big of a deal. Like, I couldn't care less if I missed seeing my DD's first time rolling over or her first steps. Once she reached a milestone, she did it over and over again for the next few days, so I saw it happen eventually.

AliceKC9876 · October 2014

lovebeingblonde said:

shmeell25 said:

lovebeingblonde said:

I'm not sure I'm going to breastfeed. I understand the benefits to both of us, and even with my office having a dedicated room for nursing/pumping mothers... after reading about some of why other women had to give it up, I'm not sure its for me.

Just curious... Why? I am all about you deciding how to feed your own baby, but I'm honestly curious what reasons caused you to not want to?

I think a lot of it just has to do with inexperience and having the tendency to become easily frustrated. And there is just something about the physical act itself. I know loads of women praise how it makes them feel more bonded with their child and it develops a different kind of attachment, but I'm still working through the thought of having an infant latched on to one of my boobs. My mom breastfed all of us, but because we were raised on WIC she took advantage of the formula and supplemented when she couldn't feed in person or pump. I don't want to deprive my child of all of the wonderful benefits obtained from breast milk, but just worry about not being able to do it, produce enough, etc. Plus, I'm not a big fan of 3rd party intervention... ie a lactation coach or consultant. I'm still struggling with the idea of all of the classes that everyone recommends taking if you are a FTM. I trust nature more than anything, and figure if the earth was populated for thousands of years without the assistance of science, why is it so necessary now? I think a lot of it stems from this ridiculous thread I read on another forum where someone posed the question of "if you aren't going to BF, post your reasons because I'm curious". A lot of the responses were well received and informative, and I read a lot of women in similar work/life situations as me and wondered if I'm going to end up in the same boat (inability to pump so production drops, latching issues, privacy issues, etc).

Sorry for the long response and if I offended anyone.

Lurker joining the party late...but this explanation is so bizarre! I don't care if you breastfeed or not but I find it extremely strange that you say you "trust nature more than anything and figure the earth was populated for thousands of years without the assistance of science so why is it so necessary now." Uhhh....do you think formula comes from nature? I'd say it was created because of science...and the earth was populated for "thousands of years" with breast milk, not formula. Not all women need "3rd party intervention" to successfully breastfeed...I sure did because I had all sorts of issues at first...but my sister had zero issues from day 1...it's different for every woman/baby. Again, it's up to you to decide how to feed your child but your reasons sound like you are a little confused about things.

CoPilot2012 · October 2014

lgsdesigner said:
I don't read books for fun and entertainment purposes, and really have no interest to start.

Ouch, that hurt our friendship a little but...Ahhh wth I'll let it go this time.

Edit: spelling

itsmevkb · October 2014

My question regarding "raising" your child was just in an attempt to get you to look at things perhaps in a little different way. If there is one thing I find endlessly frustrating, it's women living their lives with regrets or guilt or whatnot over how they are RAISING their children. If you are in a situation where you can't financially stay at home then it's really better to accept that sooner rather than later. Find a way to see the best in that situation vs spending the next five years wishing things were different.

And trust me, no matter if you stay home, put your child in some form of daycare, half and half it, you will be raising your child. Perhaps it's hard to see that as you are a first time mom, but as a mother to four, I guarantee you, I am raising every one of them (as is my working husband but I'll leave out my rant regarding how sexist society is when it comes to working moms vs dads.)

Pintobean39 · October 2014

udubbaby said:

SassyPants150 said:

Pintobean39 said:

I'm so tired of listening to the news media causing unnecessary panic over an Ebola outbreak in the Us that just isn't happening. 2 people contacted Ebola when taking care of a dying man who was highly contagious at the time. Yet the 4 other patients that were treated in the us no one has contacted Ebola from them. This does not make an outbreak of Ebola.

It's not a conspiracy, the CDC isn't hiding things from us. Mistakes were made, end of story. It's time to learn from those mistakes and quit feeding the hysteria.

You shouldn't be worried about getting Ebola, now the flu ..... That's very possible. Go get your flu shot!!!

These are usually the same people who post their sources from websites with names like bigpurpleeggplant.biz

Didn't someone from CNN try to get a source form here yesterday? I gave myself a headache with all the side-eyeing that caused me to do.

OMG I'm glad I'm not the only one that side-eyed that. I had to walk away, I couldn't take it anymore. I'd really hate to know they actually got their information from people on a forum like this rather than the actual hospital. For all I know she could have been completely full of shit.

sarahchrismck · October 2014

Starbuck128 said:

DH works away from home full time. Sometimes he has to travel with his work. I guess this makes him a bad dad. I guess this means he isn't there for the firsts, isn't raising his son and hasn't bonded with his son. Let's dad shame all the men who reproduce without the financial ability or desire to stay home full time. Why don't we do this? Oh yeah, because it's stupid. Because it isn't true. We do this to women not because it's true, but because some women are insecure and deal with it by trying to shame other women. Pathetic.

YES! 100% agree. This is part of our sexist society.

I don't know if anyone watches Master Chef at all, but on this past season there was a SAHD on the show. Some other contestants on the show criticized him for "not having a real job" and "letting his wife bring home the money." Yet, if this were a SAHM, she would not be getting the same comments. If one parent stays at home with the kids, why does it matter? Why does it always have to be mom?

If we could swing it and DH could be a SAHD for a while, I would love to have him stay at home. I'm sure he would be wonderful.

Pintobean39 · October 2014

Starbuck128 said:

Pintobean39 said:

OMG I'm glad I'm not the only one that side-eyed that. I had to walk away, I couldn't take it anymore. I'd really hate to know they actually got their information from people on a forum like this rather than the actual hospital. For all I know she could have been completely full of shit.

I feel so left out of this entire discussion. Can some kind person point me towards the side eyeing?

It was the Ebola in ER thread

Pintobean39 · October 2014

udubbaby said:

Pintobean39 said:

udubbaby said:

OMG I'm glad I'm not the only one that side-eyed that. I had to walk away, I couldn't take it anymore. I'd really hate to know they actually got their information from people on a forum like this rather than the actual hospital. For all I know she could have been completely full of shit.

This makes me feel so much better. I started typing so many responses and finally just told myself to walk away.

I have so much respect for the medical professionals. My husband is a Dr and he deals with the sickest of the sick patients on a daily basis. He's exposed to all kinds of crap. So I try to understand the fear in any job that you may be exposed to stuff because it is a different kind of job. That thread was basically just throwing out all kinds of half truths trying to scare people. I actually read it to my husband and he just shook his head. He said you are more at risk to get the swine flu, bird flu, or west Nile before Ebola.

I tried but to many were joining the "OMG Were all going to get Ebola" bandwagon.

I need to learn to post GIF's because i can't help but think of Antoine Dodson "hide your kids, hide your wife". It's much funnier as a gif.

Poppy715 · October 2014

HilarityEnsued said:

I hate when people just throw around "bullying" when it is not applicable. It shows such ignorance and also downplays actual bullying which is such a terrible thing. We are all here by choice. Nothing is stopping anyone from clicking on the red "x" if you don't like it. This thread has renewed my hope for this board. I knew there were cool bitches here.

Look at all the cool bitches who liked your thread! And yes, I did just lump myself into that statement.

heaterb12 · October 2014

HilarityEnsued said:

veenie2009 said:
I don't understand how people feel this *strong* bond with their baby already. I would guess that DD was a week old before I really felt a bond with her. I am not an emotional person, but it makes me feel emotionless when I hear people talk about the bond.

It took my months to feels that strong bond. It buult over time, but the moment that he was born and placed on my chest, all I could think was two things

"holy fuck he is actually here what the hell"

"I am goddamn starving "

All of this. I don't think I felt a bond with DD until she started smiling, maybe around 6 weeks old? Before that, she was this blob of a human who cried whenever she was awake and kept us up all night.

DawnLilly · October 2014

I may be missing something here, on both sides of this discussion I think. I don't want to be the only one who "raises" my children. They will only learn and gain the attributes I or my husband have. I want them to be raised by grandparents, aunts and uncles, peers in daycare, and yes, even the daycare provider herself. It takes a village. The things they learn from other people, or the firsts that happen, are just as important as the ones that happen with me.

blue2mango · October 2014

JerseyAKL said:
I shared mine prematurely yesterday, but it's still on my mind and still probably unpopular with many so I'll share it again.

I am sick of hearing people complain about how much they miss coffee. COFFEE HAS BEEN PROVEN SAFE. It does not fall under the same category as, say, deli meat or unpasteurized cheeses. In those cases, there are mixed opinions, even with doctors and medical professionals. With coffee, research tells us that up to 200mg a day (some even say 300mg) is safe. So not matter how strong your coffee is, if you have one cup a day, you are fine. I hate to see people being martyrs when it comes to coffee and dammit, it really pisses me of.

Allow me to preach for a second....drink your coffee, ladies. Don't deprive yourself (or drink unnatural decaf thinking it is a safer alternative -- ick!). Wave those Dunkin Donuts cups, coffee mugs and travel containers in the air. Keep Starbucks in business. Brew it up and drink it down. Make your Keurig work harder.Don't go through the next 6+ months in a haze or crying about how much you miss coffee. With so many things on the "no" list right now, why add coffee when there is no reason to do so?

And... I'm done.

I miss it but I can't drink it because it makes me nauseous not that I don't want my morning cup.

blue2mango · October 2014

@mpiemont‌ I am the same way (minus the medical degree, my MA is in special education). Last time I added a weeks counter I mc the next week. :-(

Smbx0 · October 2014

SaraKayTell said:
I plan on riding my horse until I can't manage to get on any more.
My DH knows better than to question me on this, but everyone else gives me the side eye. Even some horse people.
Shhh nurse, you don't know my horse or my mad skillz.

I feel you 100% though, mine is with roller skating. Witch I've doing almost as long as I have been walking! Keep on riding girl!!!

gypsyheart85 · October 2014

I had actually given up coffee prior to conceiving. I was three months caffeine free for reasons related to a cleaner diet. Now that I can keep things down I have absolutely added back two cups a day- I'm a mom to a two year old, work three over nights a week, and first tri is kicking my ass. I am sofa-king tired. My new favorite thing ever is a white chocolate mocha latte from Starbucks. Never been a huge SB fan but I drank the cool aid and I'm hooked.
My UO:
I do not enjoy The Walking Dead or the Sons of Anarchy. I feel like I must be the only person in the world who doesn't watch these shows, especially the walking dead and I get so annoyed when my FB feed is blowing up about them. Why it bothers me when I don't even watch the show? I guess it is just one of those irrational irritations.

kac22 · October 2014

DawnLilly said:

I'm so tired of listening to the news media causing unnecessary panic over an Ebola outbreak in the Us that just isn't happening. 2 people contacted Ebola when taking care of a dying man who was highly contagious at the time. Yet the 4 other patients that were treated in the us no one has contacted Ebola from them. This does not make an outbreak of Ebola. It's not a conspiracy, the CDC isn't hiding things from us. Mistakes were made, end of story. It's time to learn from those mistakes and quit feeding the hysteria. You shouldn't be worried about getting Ebola, now the flu ..... That's very possible. Go get your flu shot!!!
I agree with ebola. However, my son had enterovirus and I don't think the CDC has taken it seriously enough. There was an interview on CBS is Aug and a rep was addressing parents' concern. He chuckled and said it's very common and not deadly. Guess what kids have experienced paralysis and others have died. I'm still ragey about the amount of time it took them to release the swab findings and notify people that it had come to our state. It was four weeks after my son experienced a high fever, decreased lung capacity (one side was nearly collapsed) and pneumonia before they released publicly that it was here. He's still on meds.

I am so sorry to hear about your son! Enterovirus definitely has me more worried than Ebola probably ever will. A young kid in my neighborhood just died from it yesterday

blue2mango · October 2014

DawnLilly said:
I may be missing something here, on both sides of this discussion I think. I don't want to be the only one who "raises" my children. They will only learn and gain the attributes I or my husband have. I want them to be raised by grandparents, aunts and uncles, peers in daycare, and yes, even the daycare provider herself. It takes a village. The things they learn from other people, or the firsts that happen, are just as important as the ones that happen with me.

Damn right! I went to 9 years of school to learn how to teach your kids shit!(Not saying I know everything but saying I am highly qualified) I fully hope my kids learn from many people. Not only does it teach acceptance but every person has their individual talents & gems to share. I don't know everything.

Unknown · October 2014

This content has been removed.

Gatorsgirl731 · October 2014

I drink coffee, I also eat cold lunch meat. Fucking rebel.

Don't care about weight gain.

I SAH and miss shit all the time.

I'd rather be snarky or flat out a bitch than be fake. If I tell you I'm sending prayers, good vibes, hugs, love etc you bet your ass I'm actually doing it.

Insert standing ovation to everything @HilarityEnsued‌ has said.

I really want to like this board. But so far the people I have really really liked have had to leave, been banned, or are so bored they don't even want to come around.

The whole thought process that if I can't say anything agreeable to an OP who is "SO EXCITED TO GET HEMROIDS FOR THE FIRST TIME" is stupid. That's not how the real world works.

I've lost my train of thought now so I'll end with this gem.

My first thought about DD when she was born was, "why does this baby smell like vagina?"

JenGrl8503 · October 2014

YES! 100% agree. This is part of our sexist society.

I don't know if anyone watches Master Chef at all, but on this past season there was a SAHD on the show. Some other contestants on the show criticized him for "not having a real job" and "letting his wife bring home the money." Yet, if this were a SAHM, she would not be getting the same comments. If one parent stays at home with the kids, why does it matter? Why does it always have to be mom?

If we could swing it and DH could be a SAHD for a while, I would love to have him stay at home. I'm sure he would be wonderful.

My husband is a part-time stay at home dad and we side-eyed the guy on Master Chef a little bit along with the rest of the contestants because he didn't become a stay at home dad until his youngest was like 12 or older....yet he kept acting like he had raised their kids and ran their house all by himself even though at one point he let it slip that his wife was the stay at home parent when the children were actually at home full-time. Not that being a stay at home parent of older kids isn't a worthy thing as well, it just annoyed us that he took ALL the credit, his wife got none.

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