STM's - what's your "sibling plan" during delivery?

Re: STM's - what's your "sibling plan" during delivery?

• britb618 member

  October 2014 edited October 2014

  So I've asked my friends that had CS's what they thought of the nurses helping if their husband didn't stay and they all said the nurses were not super helpful, which unfortunately is what I found when I had my daughter as well. I was hoping it was just because my husband was around so there was no need for them to be helpful but they said it was a major pain and recommended having my husband stay. My mom will be able to stay with my daughter at our house so childcare is covered and we don't have to worry about time off because regardless of if he stays at hospital or not he gets 3 weeks paternity leave which starts the day I give birth. Can't move it. Union rules and all. He will probably be able to take more time if he wants because its the winter. This was much more difficult in the summer but I've heard the winter dads get extra time because no one else is on vacation. So if he isn't working and someone is around to watch my daughter, why shouldn't he suffer in the hospital with me??  

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• longcat07 member

  October 2014

  we still haven't figured ours out. it would help if SO would actually TALK to his dad about this, so we'd know if he was comfortable with looking after DS or not, but he keeps dodging it and "forgetting".  we live in MN.  my parents are in NJ, as are DS's other grandparents.  no RCS here...this birth will be spontaneous, so who the eff knows when it'll happen.  i have very close friends who would do it for me who live 2.5 hours north of us...but they have a son DS's age, another son who is 2.5, and will have a third son who will be like 5w old at that time.  no dice.  SO has a brother who literally lives 5min down the road (he's actually only a couple blocks from where i'll be delivering), but he works nights, and even if he didn't...just no.  no.  he can't handle it and hates kids.  that leaves FFIL (SO's dad), who lives 2.5 hours south of here.
  
  even then, if i go into labor in the middle of the night, i'm not sure FFIL would be keen on us calling him and him rolling out of bed to hightail it up here.  labor with DS was only 14 hours, so if i go into labor at midnight and we wait till 7am to call FFIL, we could wind up with an accidental homebirth.  i really don't know what to do.  i don't want to take DS with us because i'm afraid of him being traumatized by seeing me in so much pain, plus, middle of the night?  the kid'll be exhausted and where will he sleep?  no, i guess what would have to happen is that we'd get DS up, strap him in the car seat, SO would drive me up to the hospital, and then they'd go home till morning.  it's actually making me really sad.
  
  maybe i could talk to my neighbor who offered to watch him during our childbirth class.  she might be ok with us transferring him from his bed to their couch in the middle of the night if SO came right away in the morning to get him so they could go to work.  DS is pretty good friends with their little girl.
  

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  BFP#1 EDD 04.20.2010, SUNSHINE baby boy born 03.31.2010
  BFP#2 EDD 12.07.2014, natural mc 04.09.2014 at 5w3d
  BFP#3 EDD 01.14.15, RAINBOW baby girl born 01.16.2015
  
       
  
   
  jan'15 january siggy challenge: baby fails
  
  

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• summererobinson member

  October 2014

  I am having a c section. My mom will be coming and staying at my house for the day we have her, that night, and a little bit into the next day. After that, my husband will go home with the other 2 kids. I have an 11 year old and a 14 month old ( will be 16 months at delivery) and the 14 month old is very clingy. He couldnt handle us both being gone like that. So my husband wont be there after that first day
  

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