January 2015 Moms

I think I hate my DH ;)

Seriously, please tell me I'm not the only one that wants to inflict severe physical pain on their Husband for no reason other than I'm mad that this pregnancy doesn't hurt his body. It hurts for me to stand in one place for longer than a minute. My legs feel like someone took a bat to them. My abs feel like their being torn from my rib cage. My hands are so swollen I can barely hold my phone, or hold the steering wheel. Yet he has the audacity to say his biceps are sore because he lifted too much weight at the gym. Are you freaking kidding me?!?! If I wasn't so out of breath and dizzy just from standing I would sucker punch him in the crotch!!!

Re: I think I hate my DH ;)

  • YES! YES! ALL the YES! My DH has complained that his back hurts from work (he lifts heavy pieces of sheet metal, etc all day) but has the ability to drink a beer and take something for the back pain...and it typically goes away after a half hour or so.  Me on the other hand, my back hurts all day every day...only relief - hot shower and laying down!  I wanted to punch him in the throat after he complained last night that he was tired...seriously? I was up at 7am yesterday and didn't get a nap...he did.  ASS!

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  • I can relate!  My husband complained yesterday that the hours I work in 4 days, he has to work in 3 days.  I was like, 'yeah?  well try doing it while pregnant and disabled!' He doesn't seem to comprehend how much more physically draining things are while pregnant.  Fortunately, he actually volunteers himself as my personal punching bag, so when I get frustrated, he lets me punch him in the arm.  It definitely helps with my hormone rage haha.
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  • Oh the beer thing!!! That gets to me like crazy. He asked me to bring him a cold one, it took all the restraint I could muster not to thrown the beer can at his face!!! And then I giggled because I got the mental image of me actually doing that. Ha ha
  • Yes yes yes!!! Last week my DH told me he had a crick in his neck and it must be sympathy pains... I could have killed him. I told him if he really wanted sympathy pains, I'd be happy to saw him in half or shove a cantaloupe up his penis. He didn't go for it... Men are such wimps!
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  • I drives me crazy when DH tells me how tired/exhausted he is. I usually just stare at him like "seriously bro?"  [-(
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  • DH pulled something in his back last weekend and was complaining about it. I made sure it was nothing too serious and then kind of didn't acknowledge it. I feel like that every day, dude.

    Re: the beer thing - last night I asked him if he'd please have a beer because I could really use a few sips after our 5 hour car ride. Now he drinks when I ask him to - haha.
  • My H knows better, but I feel your pain!
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  • Agghhhhhh to the playing in toilet water.  :-&
  • I told H that I think it would make me happy if I could chuck a beer can at his face. He said, "that's fine, it's not like you'll actually hit me, your aim sucks". The truth hurts, but it made me laugh.
  • All this beer talk (and after writing about beer myself) is making me want a pumpkin ale.

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  • My DH is the king of couvade...and yes, it makes me want to punch him in the face.
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  • Ugh...mine drives me nuts, he complains all of the time that he can't sleep in when I go to work and leave our 5 year old with him but he chooses to stay up until 4 or 5 AM even though I tell him that she will be getting up early.  Plus he knows that I am supposed to be to work at 9 AM and that she always gets up with me.  He is supposed to take her to pre-school at 12:30 but they are almost always late which really irks me.  He acts like I should be so super grateful if he does something small around the house even though he only works part time and I work full time and do the shopping and take care of our daughter.  He is super lazy about taking care of stuff around the house too, I ended up painting my daughter's room on Saturday because I knew if I left it for him it would never get done.  I swear it feels like I have a teenage son instead of a partner!  Before we had kids, it was totally different...
  • @‌babytime1778
    I did the same thing I should DH these posts. He has no sympathy towards me being pregnant. I mention a symptom or something bothering me and then he starts to complain about his and how he spear sleep ect. He works yes, but I work as well, and I take care of out DS, and our home. I do all the shopping (which I walk to wholefoods and carry the bags home almost daily. I keep all the appointments, mine our sons, doctor and dentist, school ect. But in his eyes I just sit around all day and don't really work. I can't say how my back hurts without him ignoring me and then whining about what's wrong with him. I get no special treatment while pregnant. He asked me why I couldn't carry an old printer, 2 vcrs and a box in one trip down 3 flights of stairs! Grrr


    Ps he has yet to say anything about this post lol, but he hasn't complained at all since.

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  • I hate my H all. the. time. And that's not even an exaggeration. I can't remember the last time he's made me laugh or even smile.

    I'm really sorry to hear that. Was it that way pre pregnancy? I despised my H and we were barely speaking when I found out I was PG with DD#1. The sight of him repulsed me, but I decided I needed to give us some time and told myself I wouldn't make any major decisions until after DD was born. I'm glad we stuck it out. We make a good team and he is a pretty great guy.....even if he does have a counter symptom for anything I might be feeling.
  • I am finally in the boat of "I hate my H"  but in my case it's FI.  And it's not because he isn't amazing because 9 times out of 10 he is.  It's that 1 time...he makes it count...Let's take last night as an example.  He was so unaffectionate that it was like pulling teeth to even get a hug let alone get a kiss or snuggles.  And we're a pretty affectionate couple so that behavior is out of the ordinary for him.  I was feeling huggy last night because he has 24-30 hrs of overtime coming up in the next week and being all preggo and hormonal it has me bummed that we won't get a lot of time together in the next week.  So asked him if everything was okay, why he was being kind of a butthead and he shrugged it off like nothing was wrong.  So I go through 4 hrs of him being all unaffectionate and distant...and out of nowhere he starts asking about getting a...*ahem*...because we can't have sexy times for a while thanks to some preterm contractions.  Let me tell you how offended he was when I flat out told him no dice because he'd been acting like a jerk all night.  Yay, vicious cycle that I added to....weeeee.  But still, for the love of God SOs, please start realizing that this pregnancy thing is not a walk in the park! 

    And now after that little rant, I want nothing more than to go home and be able to cuddle up with FI and watch Copper or Flashpoint except he won't be home until at least 10pm.  Oh, hormones stahp!

  • Put me in this club! DH has been having sciatic pain for the last 6 weeks. He finally goes to the doctor and they gave him meds and physical therapy. We are trying to prepare to sell our house and I gave him a list at the beginning of the summer of things I was not capable of doing (putting the downspouts back on our house that fell last winter, scrape and paint the trim around our front door, power wash the house, and with help from our neighbor get 2 old washers out of our basement).
    He did NOTHING from this list before his back started bothering him. He managed to get the washers out a couple weeks into his back pain when it wasn't too bad. He now blames the back pain on me asking him to get the washers out. Like I somehow caused it.
    Then he was feeling better Monday morning and around 11 I get a call that he is laying on the floor in our living room not able to move. I leave my 3 and 4 year old with MIL and race home where I had to call him an ambulance because he couldn't get up to get in the car. We spent 8 hours in the er and when he finally got out of bed he says he thinks he could have managed to get up out of the bed earlier and that he wasn't pushing himself enough...So we spent 8 hours in the ER because he couldn't toughen up enough to stand up? All I could think of is getting up after the Csec the first time and how unbearably painful that was. If someone told me I could go home earlier if I got up I would have struggled to get out of that bed. He wasn't even trying. I was honestly incredibly disappointed in him.
    I have been his slave the last couple of days taking care of everything he and our 3 and 4 year old need. This includes keeping track of his meds, getting him food and anything else he wants. He gets up to grab comic books here and there and he is walking just great. Better than before he started having back issues. Yesterday his company contacted him and told him they were covering him under workman's comp since he collapsed after twisting to shake the hand of a store owner on the job. He just needs a doctor note through next Tuesday. The ER gave him a note for two days so we had to follow up with his primary doc.
    He tells me he is just going to walk in there and ask for a note. I told him that he can't do that. He has to explain that he is still in pain and needs the time. He responds that I must think he is an idiot and a child, right in front of our kids, that he would obviously let them know he needed the time. It was just so nasty and ungrateful! I didn't know he was capable of being such an a hole after I have been waiting on him hand and foot, constantly asking him how he is and taking care of all the insurance stuff. On top of it crying triggers migraines for me so I have been spending the last day and a half in tons of pain.
    He never even asked me how I was feeling when I was suffering from some really bad morning sickness the first 14 weeks. Sometimes he can just be so effing selfish. He thinks everything revolves around him. I do everything around the house since I am a SAHM. Cannot even remember the last time he helped with any kind of housework prior to his back issue too. Sorry this was long but I really needed to get it off my chest. I am really nothing but wildly supportive of this man in his work and at home and i always let him know how much i appreciate how hard he works. Sometimes I think no one cares about what I am going through in my pregnancy including H. It is amazing how quick everyone I know turns the conversation back on themselves. I am a good listener and sometimes I think people take advantage of that but forget that I need an ear sometimes too.
  • I finally told H last night that I'm sick of him whining about every little thing. I told him its annoying. He went and pouted for over an hour.
  • F15 lurker but OMG totally hate my dh sometimes and he just got back a couple weeks ago from being away for three months. I had suuuuch a bad headache last night and my back hurt and I am sooo tired from not sleeping since I was sick the night before, he got up to make his lunch so I asked him if he could make me a sandwich too, but put the meat in a separate bag. So he says, so you just want bread and mustard in one bag and the meat in the other? I said well put cheese and spinach and mustard on the bread. He was all--oh that's to hard your being a princess I only take meat and mustard. I totally thought he was joking. So I got up to go to bed and went to get water, there was only his sandwiches in the fridge, so I asked where mine is, and he was all, I told you it was too much work so I left it and one of us can do it in the morning. I was sooo mad I could barely look at him, so here I am with tears streaming down my face making a sandwich at 11pm with the worst head ache and hes all--why are you crying? here let me do that, go lie down, stop crying ect ect I just ignored him and finished and went and slept downstairs. Its too much work to CUT two pieces of cheese and add spinach (prewashed and in a container) when you are ALREADY making sandwiches?!! I am making a baby. You can make an effin sandwich. I didn't talk to him all morning and he kept saying, I don't know why you are so sad today. urgh.
  • @Alygohome‌ That's awful. He could have at least told you he wasn't doing it. What is with guys these days. I swear DH's mother completely spoiled him for me. Did all his laundry/dishes/made his bed for him, and she even still buys him all his clothes. He doesn't even know what size he is. He did get by doing these things for himself to manage to catch me and to some extent until I became a SAHM 3 years ago. Then it was like I became his mother except he also does so few of the "Dad" roles like fixing things around the house or going to investigate scary sounds at night. I might have set myself in this role but then he has to step up in his. Love him to death but so annoyed these days.
  • pleireypleirey member
    edited October 2014

    @kellyfo14‌ At least we understand :-) Even if your DH doesn't.

     

    Edit:  Because typing half awake and autocorrect don't mix well...DR is not the same as DH... :))

  • @pleirey‌ Thank god for that!
  • The sandwich thing would probably boil my blood too.  The other day I woke up and fixed myself a bowl of cereal then when I went to get the milk there was none!!  That means that while I was in bed DH had almost half a gallon of milk (because that is what was left when I went to bed).  I was so mad at him!!  I mean seriously, you couldn't have saved me a 1/4 cup for my morning cereal!!!
  • @Alygohome‌ - Yeah, I think I'd have lost it over the sandwich, too.  Because in my case (might be yours, too) It's not just the sandwich, it's because every time it just kind of gets put on you to take care of yourself AND everyone else, and seriously - asking for something as simple as a sandwich is too hard for him to do?  Then what can he be counted on for???

    Last night I didn't feel like making dinner.  We picked up a pizza Sunday, but I've made dinner every other night this week (and every night last week!), so last night I say "I don't feel like cooking, what should we do for supper?" trying to get him to take the ball & run with it for once . . .

    His response "well I guess I'll just have a bowl of cereal & I'll be fine".  X(
    Okay - so you just looked out for yourself.  Now what about feeding your son?  (And your wife who maybe wants to take a night off???)  They can be such asses sometimes, can't they???

    Hugs!!!  I feel like I'm right there with ya!
    Myles was so pumped about the baby . . . until he figured out he'd have to share all his toys!!!
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  • I woke up DH last night when I couldn't reach a horrible leg cramp. He sat up and stared at me. I finally yelled at him to get me water. 5 minutes later he comes back with water...and a snack for himself!!! Seriously??
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  • My husband is become a very smart man in our 12 years and 3 pregnsies LOL he wouldnt ever complain while i was pregnant lol
  • My DH hasn't done anything too bad but he just had the hiccups for 30 minutes, was loud and wouldn't do anything to try and stop them! It was so effing annoying. He said it happened 3 other times today and lasted for an hour. I know he can't totally help it but don't be mad when I don't want to listen to it!
  • My DH acts like I'm not pregnant. He makes no time for our DS. Lately he has been almost nasty to me, always yelling. Wants to be left alone all the time, if I ask him to do something for me it's like I'm asking for him to give birth. If I try to talk to him about ANYTHING its me starting a fight, or bitching. It's never trying to communicate with him. He was very supportive and helpful and kind before I got pregnant. And he is the one who really wanted another child. I can never talk about a symptom I'm experiencing ithout him complaining about something. (Back pain, tired, stressed ect). Larely I can sit there and cry and cry and he won't even look in my direction. He hasn't helped out with anything really. I'm just so tired and fed up. We've been together for a really long time, so I know how he can be under a lot of stress, but it is really unfair for me to understand that, but not for him to understand what I'm going through.

    End rant.

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  • DH told me I need to cook this baby better because I was put on modified bedrest for a week due to preterm labor ... As if I wasn't already feeling stressed about this and trying to do everything I can do to prevent a long NICU visit for this baby. I told him that he's welcome to take a turn at this. He's since apologized but I'm still upset :( Pregnant tears are not fun.
    Excuse me?!?!?! I would have completely lost my shit on that one.  We are hard enough on ourselves when it comes to pregnancy, comments like that don't help at all.  I'm sorry he said that to you.
  • DH told me I need to cook this baby better because I was put on modified bedrest for a week due to preterm labor ... As if I wasn't already feeling stressed about this and trying to do everything I can do to prevent a long NICU visit for this baby. I told him that he's welcome to take a turn at this. He's since apologized but I'm still upset :( Pregnant tears are not fun.
    Excuse me?!?!?! I would have completely lost my shit on that one.  We are hard enough on ourselves when it comes to pregnancy, comments like that don't help at all.  I'm sorry he said that to you.
    Sucks that I can only love tit this once . . . . I would have flipped on my H if he said that, too!!

    I hope you find a way to not let that get to you!  HUGS!!!!!
    Myles was so pumped about the baby . . . until he figured out he'd have to share all his toys!!!
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