Should I go?

normandyn7 · October 2014

Quick details: Second shower. Same sex as first baby who just turned 2. Mother is sister of my best friend. Grew up with her family. I'm having a hard time deciding if I should just suck it up and go. I hate baby showers in general and I don't know how much tacky I can take. Also, I'm very short on cash this month so I really have no extra money for another gift. Should I just go or politely decline and bring her a small gift when the baby is born? Edit: ipad formatted this strange. Sorry!

Amstreagle · October 2014

Definitely decline.
Showers are to welcome a woman to motherhood and she is already a mother. Different sex, or age gap wouldn't warrant one anyway.
This is so tacky and gift grabby.
No. Just no.

VOR · October 2014

If you don't want to go, then don't. It's an invitation, not a subpeona. Showers are NOT "must attend' events, even it if was for her first.

dufferoo · October 2014

If it was your best friend or your sister, I'd go regardless of the tack-factor, but the sister of your best friend? Nah.

neverblushed · October 2014

Unfortunately, you have something else to do that day and you'll have to politely decline :P

jennypolkadots · October 2014

Agreed with others.

The sister of your best friend, no matter how long you have known her, won't be traumatized by your absence. This is also just all sorts of silly - second shower 2 years after having a baby of the same sex. I have heard weird justifications for showers before (not that any of them excuse the tacky) but I have no clue why she would have a shower. Please tell me she or her family are not throwing it

)

Politely decline by the RSVP date. It's no biggie really and you don't even need a good excuse. If you WANT to get her baby a present when they are born that's really nice of you but also don't feel obligated.

normandyn7 · October 2014

Thank you for all the responses ladies. I was leaning towards declining. My best friend is pregnant with her second (but opposite sex) so I know for sure they will have a huge second shower for her since it's the first boy after 5 girls. I'll have to go to that one for sure. I can only handle so many baby shower games and people asking me when I'll be having my second baby.

EDIT: I will be declining. I agree with not needing a reason. Just a polite, "I will not be able to make it but have fun!"

normandyn7 · October 2014

msspeedymarie said:

MandJS said:

normandyn7 said:

Thank you for all the responses ladies. I was leaning towards declining. My best friend is pregnant with her second (but opposite sex) so I know for sure they will have a huge second shower for her since it's the first boy after 5 girls. I'll have to go to that one for sure. I can only handle so many baby shower games and people asking me when I'll be having my second baby.

EDIT: I will be declining. I agree with not needing a reason. Just a polite, "I will not be able to make it but have fun!"

FWIW, re: the bolded... most of us here don't think the baby's genitalia is a valid excuse for a second shower, and most certainly not a "huge" one.

I don't think OP necessarily agrees that showers should happen for different sex. Just that if these people are throwing a shower for someone who is having the same sex 2 years later, then clearly they are going to go all out for an opposite sex.

Exactly this. I think second showers are tacky regardless. I just know she will have one too since it's the opposite sex.

526SadieSadie · October 2014

VOR said:
If you don't want to go, then don't. It's an invitation, not a subpeona. Showers are NOT "must attend' events, even it if was for her first.

I agree. If you want to bring the baby a small gift when he/she arrives that's totally appropriate. Showers are for new moms, a gift would be just for the baby.

ccam · October 2014

Decline.

neverblushed · October 2014

somerandomchick said:

neverblushed said:

Unfortunately, you have something else to do that day and you'll have to politely decline :P

You don't have to make excuses and pretend to be busy... that implies that you're required to go unless you have a commitment. You're not. You can just RSVP no and leave it at that.

Yes. Clearly. That's why I put the "sticking tongue out" smiley on there. The smiley indicated the presence of subtext in my post.

Here's the intended subtext: "Politely declining" MEANS just saying "Sorry I can't be there."

The "something else to do that day" could be laundry or watching Netflix. Either of which would be better uses of time than attending this shower. But the OP obviously wouldn't state that to the hostess.

That help clarify?

nurse714 · October 2014

If you don't want to go, RSVP, no. Simple.

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