At the fed up point...

lenaaaabee · October 2014

So I'm slowly starting to get fed up with my boyfriend...

Naturally we have been discussing names for a couple months now. a few months ago we couldnt even agree on a name at all but now we've come to an agreement on a girls first name but everyone I've tried to suggest any name for a boy or a middle name for a girl he's like I don't like it. At one point he suggested that we go with his initials which are DMH just mixed up lol MDH for both the girl and boy and I agreed thinking that would help but lately I've been thinking that he's just been getting his way. And yes I know we have plenty of time to figure out a name.

When it comes to finding out the sex of the baby I don't want to find out and he does...just to calm the water with that I suggested that we don't find out at the ultrasound date but get it in an envelope and reveal with both of our parents.

But I still honestly don't want to find out and am only doing it so we won't argue. But with this name situation I'm at that point were ok the baby is already gonna have your last name...and we're gonna find out whether it's a girl or boy. So I can have some input on a name that I actually really really like.

I'm tried of pleasing to keep the peace now. I'm the one that is carrying this child and dealing with multiple other things can one thing be my sole decision with him just agreeing.

Sorry for the long rant I'm just annoyed. Am I overthinking this??

redneckmomma25 · October 2014

I think communication is important. Talk to him about it. Can he find out and keep it a secret from you? Keep all major stuff gender neutral. You have a while before you need a name. I wouldn't worry so much about the name right now. It is important that your opinion is heard. Eventually you guys may be able to come up with a short list that you both like. You may have favorites but others that are acceptable as well. We haven't discussed names yet. We will be finding out gender and thought there is no reason to yet. Good luck. Talk to him. Make sure he knows how you feel.

drmrsmantis · October 2014

I agree with all the other ladies--parenting and relationships are all about compromise. Would it be easy for you to let him have any sole decisions? Sounds like that would be hard. Definitely would be for me.

When we named DS, DH was insistent for months that we name him Valentine. We kept looking and both kept open minds, and eventually found a name we both liked. You have plenty of time.

MitoRachel · October 2014

Quite frankly I'm impressed that your BF has been willing to talk about names for the last couple months.

jk3610 · October 2014

Have you actually talked to him openly about your feelings about this?

A) I'm not sure how long you guys have been together/your history, but if you avoid having conversations just because you don't want to argue, it will be a long, tense lifetime together. Yeah, arguing sucks. No one actually enjoys it (to my knowledge), but sometimes you have to let those feelings come to the surface. Not every argument is a deal breaker, and I think an argument over name choice will not make or break your relationship. If it does, it is the right relationship to be in?

Make sure you talk to him because if I had stuff going on with DH and posted our issues on here without talking to him about it, he would be hurt if he found out, or at the least, embarrassed. I know sometimes it's natural to want advice from women who have possibly BTDT, but as someone else mentioned, think about his side of things.

Best wishes, and hope you can work things out! You have a while before any of these decisions need to be made.

islandmom79 · October 2014

I agree with the others. Parenting requires alot of compromise on both sides, but I think it is important to get on the same page with each other. If you are going to find out the sex table the conversation until then. I would try to keep an open mind because 6 months is still a long time and you may find yourself liking other names he mentioned or he make like names you mentioned or you may discover a name you never thought of. Keeping score helps no one.

lenaaaabee · October 2014

I was pretty pissed when I first posted this. And yeah finding out the sex will make picking the name much easier it's just that even when throwing suggestions for names any and every name I say he doesn't like.

I know it's a petty argument and I really do hate arguing specifically with him. Mainly because we both are very stubborn people and even when we have a heated discussion that's all it is a discussion never an argument....names and finding out the sex has been our only real arguments and I don't like it.

And I know that communication is key in all relationships and even when I try to explain to him how I'm feeling I don't think he understands.

I love the fact that he has been so involved but I don't want to feel like I'm compromising all the time for what he wants and never getting what I want...

bowman958 · October 2014

OP do you and your BF live together? How do you handle compromise in that situation?

lneice0160 · October 2014

Totally agree with the ladies.

My DH still hates the baby name game, though we have still decided to go with our previous boy name from DD...that's all he's said.

Holding petty things like "I'm carrying the baby I should get my way" is not going to fix anything. It's going to make it worse and him resent you and every opinion you have.

Be thankful he wants to willingly discuss anything baby related, some women don't get that from their SO. Like mine. It's not always sunshine and rainbows to have every decision on you and the other half just say "Whatever you think, you're mom." Its a luxury to have someone have input on it. Talk y'alls opinions out, you have plenty of time. Co-parent.

bsdub · October 2014

My husband doesn't want to know the sex and I do - I told him a Givenchy bag or a new Long Champ bag may sway my opinion on finding out!!!

Just compromise - don't stress about everything so much or you'll be a single mom by the time u get there.

Enjoy your bump and the awesome decisions you both get to make together and don't forget a little bribe here and there can go a long way!!

miahbelle · October 2014

When DH and I found out we are having our second, we dug out all the names we had written down for our first. Going back over them almost two years later, we realized we don't like a lot of them. So opinions can change. Maybe a name he hates now, he'll like later. Also, if there was a name one of us just adored, we wrote it down, even if the other person hates it. There is a chance it will fit the baby or maybe grow on the other person. We don't discuss the names again after the original sit down until after we know the sex. Trust me, knowing makes it so much easier.
But that being said, there are men who are simply controlling and are hard to get along with simply to force their own way. If this is your case, just so you know, that isn't a healthy relationship.

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