To know or not to know...

incir · October 2014

We found out the first time and will again. I just like knowing. So many other things about parenthood are a mystery it made me feel a little more in control. This time I also think it will help DS prepare more if we can say "baby brother" or "baby sister".

Also, for FTMs you should think about if you have any preference on sex, even slight. For some people who have a preference finding out at delivery is best when the rush of emotions and new baby can overwhelm any disappointment if it isn't your preferred sex. However some people need time to prepare and get over their disappointment. I know someone who really had trouble bonding with her son because she always wanted a girl and was convinced she would have one. They had a rocky start until she got over her disappointment. Depends on who you are, but something to think about.

mamahawk12 · October 2014

We found out with the first two but are very excited about being team green this time around.

I had absolutely zero desire to be team green before now. I loved knowing. I felt so much more connected to them, almost like I suddenly knew exactly who they were.

I'm not sure what hit me this time. Maybe that it is quite possibly our last and I want to experience that "It's a....!!" moment? I don't know. But I feel no need to know and and am very content with waiting. If it's another boy we already have everything we could possibly need. If it's a girl I'm quite certain our friends and family are going to inundate us with clothes so I'm not worried about that. We'll start the nursery once he/she is here - my first two didn't so much as enter their nurseries until they were 6 months old so I don't have that typical FTM "omg the nursery must be done" feeling.

Lodenstein · October 2014

We both want to find out. It will be a surprise either way, unless my gut instinct is right. (I was right the first time!) I am a planner and would really like to tweak the nursery just so. We already have our names and I would like to personalize & monogram baby items.

I am just so happy and excited to even be pregnant!

tinybugsmom · October 2014

This is a hard one...

I want to, but not really.

DH wants to and feels it's silly not to....

He did with his first 2 kiddos (my step kiddos).... who are 13b, 7g now.

For me, I think I want to wait because then everyone will be excited. I don't know if I can handle the comments from people if we find out (and if we share it) before the birth.

My DSD really wants a sister. She doesn't even know we are pregnant yet and has voiced many times that she only wants a sister. And she isn't exactly a very flexible child. So I don't know if I could handle 5 months of her voicing her "I wish it was a girl, why does it have to be a boy???" comments if it does turn out to be a boy.

I don't know if I could handle my own sister's comments if it turns out to be a girl, since she has 3 boys and has told me flat out I will have boys as well.

People get so opinionated....and I think I am started to understand why some couples just prefer not to know.

All our stuff will be pretty neutral.... so not really worried about that.

Guess I need to think about this more and talk to DH.....

BostonGayGal · October 2014

Team green.

My wife and I LOVED being team green last time and we will do it again.

My grandfather thought it was weird that my parents talked about how we were keeping it a surprise. "What do you mean a surprise? It's a girl or it's a boy. What is there to be surprised about?"

Nothing beats finding out after the rush of delivery. Right before I started pushing my wife looked at me tearfully and told me were about to find out whether we were having a boy or a girl. It was pretty amazing.

I had not wanted a girl, but in the hormonal rush post-delivery she was immediately my whole world.

veggiemo · October 2014

incir said:

Also, for FTMs you should think about if you have any preference on sex, even slight. For some people who have a preference finding out at delivery is best when the rush of emotions and new baby can overwhelm any disappointment if it isn't your preferred sex. However some people need time to prepare and get over their disappointment. I know someone who really had trouble bonding with her son because she always wanted a girl and was convinced she would have one. They had a rocky start until she got over her disappointment. Depends on who you are, but something to think about.

I agree with this. I always wanted a girl but I kind of had this feeling my first would be a boy. I knew I would need time to prepare myself, since I had always imagined having girls. Of course they told me I was having a boy and admittedly I felt a pang of disappointment. That disappointment grew into excitement very quickly and we had a name picked and I started imagining all the things I wanted to do with him once he was here. I always feel weird and guilty for having that initial disappointment, so I appreciate you bringing up that point of view @incir

That being said, this time I am prepared either way. Boy=awesome, been there. Girl=cool, something new. Therefore: TEAM GREEN!

ktjohnson87 · October 2014

I don't think I could stand not knowing. Even the idea of waiting to know until our gender revealing party with whole family gives me anxiety. Lol.

kmleon83 · October 2014

I was all for finding out but reading all of these wonderful stories of you guys finding out after delivery has me leaning towards team green!

Belle0720 · October 2014

Definitely finding out! IMO it's a surprise regardless of when you find out and I'm just too excited to wait until birth :-)

forthedogs · October 2014

We are going to find out but not tell anyone until my baby shower so that we can get all gender neutral stuff and so we can play gender guessing games. We want gender neutral because we don't want to have to buy all new stuff if our next one is the opposite gender.

juniebaby · October 2014

Ya'll are helping me want to stay Team Green! I hope my curiosity doesn't get the best of me and I cave. This is our last one and we have both always found out (we have children from previous marriages, this is our one and only for our marriage) so that helps us keep our mind right about waiting to find out as well.

missflint · October 2014

I'm OCD. Surprises scare me to death.

missflint · October 2014

Type A, super anxious.....

effthisnoise · October 2014

If I already had a boy and a girl, I'd probably be team green for another pregnancy because it would be nice to be surprised. For our first baby, though, I think we're going to find out. I'd really like a girl and, even though I'll be happy with a boy, I'd rather know in advance if it's going to be a boy instead.

dirtymartini · October 2014

It's our first and I want a boy and girl equally, so...Team Green!!! I'm doing a gender neutral nursery anyway. Gender neutral newborn clothes are A-ok by me too. I (and I'm sure our moms, aunts, etc). will be buying boy or girl onesies and other stuff right after birth anyway. So as for planning I am not too worried about it. It's fun not knowing I know several people who waited until birth to find out and they said it was an awesome experience.

delujm0 · October 2014

I'm a planner, and i need to know. I'm not over 35, so my insurance won't cover it, but i'm already considering paying out of pocket for the blood test that tests for chromosomal abnormalities, mostly because i know that it can also tell you the baby's sex at the end of the first trimester (rather than waiting for the anatomy scan).

My SIL didn't find out before hand, and that made me want to find out even more. First, it was really difficult finding gender-neutral stuff to buy for her. Second, she said that she didn't even hear the doctor when she told her it was a boy because she was all hopped up on endorphins and the epidural. She didn't realize it was a boy until they put him on her and he immediately started peeing on her chest. I don't want to find out such important information when i'm all drugged up really.

I don't like surprises much...but i'm of the opinion that it is a surprise no matter when you find out...and at the delivery there will surely be multiple other surprises to deal with...so it's best to find out this one ahead of time. :-)

That being said, if i was having a thrid and i already had a girl and a boy, i might wait. Because it's not like i'd need to plan to buy anything; i'd have hand me downs from both already, and that might be a fun change of pace.

Joolschweetheart · October 2014

Even if *I* could wait (which I'd totally have trouble with) the hubbers is desperate to know. I'm having enough trouble keeping the pregnancy a secret so keeping the gender under wraps would be near impossible too!

I take my hat off to team greeners, the anticipation is killing me! : )

MrsRucinski85 · October 2014

We waited with our first and will wait again. Doc asked for last minute guessing then BAM its a girl!! Most amazing feeling ever!

For me waiting wasn't hard, it was fun! And I think It honestly saved me money. Haha. Every time I went to a store id visit the baby isle first and if I had known it was a girl/boy I would have splurged a lot more.

So we will wait again

holliberry28 · October 2014

I'm with you, @delujm0‌. I hate surprises and definitely will do the chromosomal testing, gd willing, if I make it til then. Not knowing would drive me nuts.

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