Thinking about quitting job

deeandsteve · October 2014

Has anyone gone back to work and decided to quit because you miss your little one so much? I'm thinking about it but I'm on the fence about it all. If you have, any deciding factors that swung you either way? I'm having trouble deciding what to do! I'm so torn!

busterbeagle · October 2014

The biggest deciding factor for me would be if we could afford to go without my income. We can't, so I work the minimum hours necessary to balance our budget. I still don't like messing with my kids' routine two days a week, and commuting with them both screaming in the car is a fun form of torture, but mama gotta pay the bills. (Or at least 2 or 3 of them.)

deeandsteve · October 2014

I think mostly I'm afraid of leaving the workforce. I was thinking I would leave and return when he's one. We all know how that works out after being home a certain amount of time, you just never know how easy it will be to find a job.

busterbeagle · October 2014

That's a really valid point. I'm sure it depends a lot on your field, but is part time an option?

bumpuser10194737 · October 2014

I worked for about a year after I had my first. For me, I missed my little guy and I hated feeling like I wasn't able to do my job the way I wanted without sacrificing time with my son and husband. I was a teacher and before kids I had been able to put in a lot of extra time after school and even went in on the weekends, but I just couldn't do that with a little one as much. I was a fairly new teacher and so with low seniority I was constantly being switched grade levels and having to learn new things, write new lesson plans, etc. I hated feeling like I was mediocre at my job.

That first year DH's job was 100% commission and no benefits, so my staying home was just not going to work. Once he had a position that was salaried with benefits I resigned at the end of the school year and have been home ever since!

Some days I really miss teaching/working outside the home, but I wouldn't trade what I am doing now being home with my boys for anything! It's totally worth it even if you have to make some sacrifices along the way. :-)

kat8805 · October 2014

I've been thinking of quiting my job too. The pay and hours suck, my managers are assholes, and I never get any kind of appreciation.

Do you think my kids would notice if I just walked out, without putting in my 2 weeks? Think they'll let me back after that if I can find work elsewhere? I really don't want to shoot myself in the foot by just leaving, but if my one manager, whose wayyyyyy younger than me, might I add, licks the underside of my arm one more time...

awisern · October 2014

I quit my job a long time ago so I could play on the Internet all day...my kids don't mind...they still get fed because we get food stamps.

flockofmoosen3 · October 2014

Doooo it!! Quit! Then you can clutter up the grocery store aisles at 2:00p like every other person who apparently doesn't work. Seriously, where do those people come from??

I'm a SAHM for now, considering part-time work at my old job. As long as we're not losing money by me going back (daycare/sitter costs and travel costs) then I might do it just for my intellectual health. do you need the stimulation?

dp1320 · October 2014

If we could afford to live our same life style on DH's salary alone I would stay at home in a heartbeat but we can't so I don't. There are other things to take into consideration like the ability to get another job down the road (as you mentioned), 401k contributions (or lack there of), etc. At the end of the day, it's a personal choice and what makes one person happy wont' work for another. I hope you're able to find something you feel comfortable with!

IBackBevo · October 2014

Have you just recently gone back? I felt like this for about the first month but it is Has gotten better over time.also, I find that it helps that I have a nanny that I really like right now. I feel very good about leaving my kids with her. If I didn't feel good about my child care, I would probably feel totally different about work.

other options to think about would be if you could work from home. Or if you could work part time. Of course, I know that is very much job and field dependent. Sorry for any typos I'm doing this with voice command

IBackBevo · October 2014

my other reason for staying in the workforce is that I am afraid that if I totally left it I would have a very hard time getting back into my specific field (which is a competitive field of legal practice) or I would have to start from basically an entry level position again.

IBackBevo · October 2014

becole42 said:
I have said it before, but I think part time would be ideal if you can swing it.

I am currently part time. Honestly, I wish I would have never gone part time. But that's probably specific to my career field. I am in a field where it is very difficult to work part time and I end up putting in way more hours being so called part-time just to keep up with the demands of my job. Hours that I'm not compensated for. basically, when I went part time I got about half the pay but still work about 70-80% of the hours. but again this may be a problem specific to my field

bridetobe9132013 · October 2014

@kat8805 I think I may have clicked report on accident. I went to scroll and instead it clicked the button...so sorry!

talkthewholetime · October 2014

If I could afford it, I would be gone in a minute. Or less than a minute.

hfooter · October 2014

I choose to work part time from the home. It's a struggle everyday to maintain a balance but I want to keep my skills up for when the kids are in school. So maybe work part time if you
Can?

yvanehtnioj · October 2014

deeandsteve said:
I think mostly I'm afraid of leaving the workforce. I was thinking I would leave and return when he's one. We all know how that works out after being home a certain amount of time, you just never know how easy it will be to find a job.

don't wanna scare you but this is a serious consideration. it's a lot harder to return to the workforce than it seems. long gaps on resumes are viewed very unfavorably, which is stupid considering the recession we just came out of. but them's the breaks. If I wanted to spend more time at home I would move into part time for a couple of years. Much smoother for you if should choose to return full time later on.

bazingaa · October 2014

I truly enjoy my job and have chosen to continue working, but I totally understand why one would want to stay home. I think you've gotten a lot of good advice from PPs. Best of luck in figuring things out.

kat8805 · October 2014

aimeefarrahfowler said:

bridetobe9132013 said:
@kat8805 I think I may have clicked report on accident. I went to scroll and instead it clicked the button...so sorry!
It's ok, she probably deserves it.

Marcella05 · October 2014

If we could afford living on one income, I would leave work in a heartbeat to savor the precious moments of the first year and worry about returning to the workforce later. But, I can't even entertain the idea. Especially with DH's ex ripping him a new one on child support for their son. We have his daughter, but in Texas that doesn't make it an even split. (Stopping myself here before rant ensues.)

Craved1 · October 2014

With 1st LO I was able to stay home and not go to work until he was in 1st grade and eve then it was part time. I didn't go full time till he was a freshman in high school. Now with our newest addition I wish that I could be a SAHM. I have been lucky enough to take an extended maternity leave but I am dreading going back to work. It breaks my heart just thinking about all the things that I will miss. As it is, I told DH that if I miss any firsts never tell me, just to act like the first time is what I will see. If you can do it, take it!!!!

deeandsteve · October 2014

Yes, I've been back for 6 weeks now and I was able to swing something with my job where I work 3 days in the office and 2 from home. So essentially I'm with him 4 out of 7 days, but I can't keep this up forever- my job wouldn't be too happy. Even with the 3 days in the office, I feel like I'm missing everything about him and I get extremely sad. Do you think it's because he's my first I am just so attached?

operaghost · October 2014

@IBackBevo‌ - sounds like we are in the same boat. I'm an attorney and "part-time" means people still expect me to answer emails/phone calls all day but I get paid for part time.

Also - hook 'em Horns!

operaghost · October 2014

awisern said:
I quit my job a long time ago so I could play on the Internet all day...my kids don't mind...they still get fed because we get food stamps.

Is this for real?

IBackBevo · October 2014

operaghost said:

@IBackBevo‌ - sounds like we are in the same boat. I'm an attorney and "part-time" means people still expect me to answer emails/phone calls all day but I get paid for part time. Also - hook 'em Horns!

Yup. And I also get to go to depos and hearings on what are supposed to be my days off. And sometimes get called on my what are supposed to be my days off. I usually take comp time for days I have hearings or depos on my days off, but the annoying thing is that because it so frequently happens that I get scheduled for things on my days off, I can't keep part-time child care. So basically I have the expense of full-time child care just like I was working full-time, but not the benefit of a higher income. We tried just having part-time childcare for awhile when I just had one son and it did not work at all. At the time, I thought it was awesome that I was allowed to be part-time, but now I regret it. If I was advising anyone in this field, I would tell them to take as long as their firm will allow off for maternity leave, but go back full-time when you go back.

Did you go to UT Law?

IBackBevo · October 2014

Marcella05 said:

If we could afford living on one income, I would leave work in a heartbeat to savor the precious moments of the first year and worry about returning to the workforce later. But, I can't even entertain the idea. Especially with DH's ex ripping him a new one on child support for their son. We have his daughter, but in Texas that doesn't make it an even split. (Stopping myself here before rant ensues.)

I'm confused. If there were 2 children from the relationship and she has custody of 1 child and your DH has custody of the other, wouldn't she also have to pay you child support? Also, I would think child support would be lessened because there are 2 other children in the picture.

operaghost · October 2014

@IBackBevo‌ - yikes, that sounds awful. Are you with a BigLaw firm? My firm is pretty flexible, but unfortunately it's just the nature of my job that you end up having to work on your days off.

I didn't go to UT law, but I'm from Texas originally and I caught the Bevo reference.

Mimaloo · October 2014

You will never regret the time you spend at home with your LO. DH and I made major lifestyle changes (no more impromptu shopping sprees or $200 nights out) but we are getting by just fine. Yes, retirement contributions are on hold at the moment which isn't ideal. And I'm perfectly happy taking care of DD without a new Michael Kors bag or fall boots. That's how I look at it anyway.

IBackBevo · October 2014

operaghost said:
@IBackBevo‌ - yikes, that sounds awful. Are you with a BigLaw firm? My firm is pretty flexible, but unfortunately it's just the nature of my job that you end up having to work on your days off.

I didn't go to UT law, but I'm from Texas originally and I caught the Bevo reference.

No, it is a small firm. It does have its perks--hence, why I stay--but I do feel like I got royally screwed by going part time.

apinkpelican · October 2014

deeandsteve said:
Yes, I've been back for 6 weeks now and I was able to swing something with my job where I work 3 days in the office and 2 from home. So essentially I'm with him 4 out of 7 days, but I can't keep this up forever- my job wouldn't be too happy. Even with the 3 days in the office, I feel like I'm missing everything about him and I get extremely sad. Do you think it's because he's my first I am just so attached?

Do you enjoy your job? Both what you do and where you do it? I say all the time that if I didn't love what I do and really enjoy the team I work with that I would walk out tomorrow. Even with how happy I am there are days I second guess myself. Tonight I barely made it home for bedtime.
Is part time available? I agree that would be ideal.
Balancing work and home is so hard. LO is my first too and trying to do it all is exhausting. When I'm home I feel like I should be at work. But when I'm at work I feel like I should be home. The constant guilt is definitely an adjustment. I missed bath time tonight despite leaving earlier than I should have. So I felt double guilty.
Edited- oops

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