It's Thursday somewhere....TPT

theholmanherd · October 2014

Posting this now in case I have no desire to get up before noon tomorrow.

theholmanherd · October 2014

I might as well post my TP now. So, after six weeks of not speaking to me (after saying some really awful things to me in front of my uncles - his brothers, both of whom I'm close enough to, like 2nd/3rd fathers), out of the blue he texted me. When I went to abuela's birthday, he sent me a woe-is-me excuse text (without so much as saying hi or how are you), sure, but tonight takes the cake. Still no hi, hey, how are you, what's up. No, he texted this little gem: "Well, I hear all kinds of news about you - about DH's job, that you've moved, had bronchitis, etc. - but never from you. So I guess I'm excommunicated?"

I love my abuela, but she broadcasts everything, so I'm not surprised he knows all that. I'm annoyed that he took a 'tone' with me, so to speak. No apology for what he said, no greeting or attempt at small talk, nothing. I don't know what to think or how to respond. SO, I'm just going to TP him and ignore it for now. #$%^&*(*&^%$

BunnyBerry · October 2014

@theholmanherd I'm so sorry. I hate when things in family get so heated.

You've made it clear to him before what your boundaries are with him and why it's like that (if I remember correctly) but somehow (as mean people often do) he has it turned around that you are the one doing something to him.

Saying a prayer for your peace.

mmmKayy · October 2014

@theholmanherd Yikes... Sorry you are dealing with this nonsense. Some ppl just.......suck. (((hugs))) for you!

TP to the bank guy we've been working with for our mortgage pre-approval. We've been in the application stage for 2 weeks now because his communication BLOWS. I brought all the docs I needed to our initial meeting, and he scanned them. Then when I was following up with him a week later he said he needed all the docs again because there was no scan. So I sent them all to him Friday, and he acknowledged receiving them. I followed up with him again yesterday morning, and at 6pm he emailed me back asking me for some of THE SAME docs again. He is really really annoying me and I'm losing my patience.

BunnyBerry · October 2014

@mmmkayy Ugh I am so sorry, why is it that banks always do that? When we bought a house last year our realtor said to keep a record of the date and time that we submitted any document to the bank and who we gave/sent it to. Then anytime they ask again, you tell them the specifics, and very quickly they just get their ish together and stop bothering you about it. It worked for us. He said basically they are just too lazy to check in the files and stay organized so they put it on the clients.

mmmKayy · October 2014

@BunnyBerry Lazy and unorganized describes this situation perfectly!! Everything has been given to him, he just has to look for it. And what's extra annoying is that he only contacts me (almost always by email) after 6pm. So nothing can be done until the next day. Yesterday he called me at 5:50pm (I emailed him at 7am), and I didn't answer it because I didn't recognize the number. But after listening to the voicemail I immediatley called him back and got no answer. I tried 2 more times and still no answer. So I emailed him. And he emailed me right back, from his phone.

BandM14 · October 2014

Sorry about AF @iPutKetchupOnKetchup‌

.

@mmmKayy‌ that sounds sooo frustrating!!

@amlrunner‌ I'm so feeling you on the TP to IF today.

I would like TP my left ovary and tell it to get it's shit together!!! I most often feel O pains on my right (blocked side) and was really hoping the Femara would push my left to make some damn follies. I went in for my u/s today and I have two BEAUTIFUL follies and one smaller-but-still-good one ALL ON MY RIGHT. So basically, no hope for this month at all. I'm going to drink all the wine this weekend and pray that my left ovary gets off it's ass next cycle.

Hollowvic · October 2014

@theholmanherd‌ some people are just jerks! Sorry. A TP to the D bag that drives up and down my street every night/morning at 3am on his motorcycle (revs it of course, why not it's 3am?) and wakes me up, then I can't fall back asleep. Somehow my husband sleeps through it, shocking!

Hollowvic · October 2014

I have to add, @mmmKayy‌ my ex boyfriend was a loan officer, omg biggest D bag, he was the worst, totally incompetent, so I don't have a high opinion of them. Also, I worked for a real estate appraiser for 7 years and had to deal with them all the time, they all seem to be morons (sorry if I offended anyone who is a loan officer, my experience with them is not good).

BunnyBerry · October 2014

@iputketchuponketchup So sorry, that was really rude of AF! I hope the move and RE search goes smoothly for you guys.

@hollowvic That is so rude! I used to have a cheap little studio with one small window overlooking the highway onramp, so after semis blew past all night nothing wakes me...but this morning I was up about 5:30am and noticed the neighbor kid ride his motorcycle way up into the driveway of the neighbor across the street as his family was switching cars to get them out. I was totally shocked.

@bandm14 Sorry about your lazy lefty.

I have the same thing, my lefty for whatever reason is scrawny and oblong (measured 1.3 x 2.7cm) and when it does O (rarely) my luteal phase is way shorter. But it did its job once on Letrozole, so I have hopes for yours too!

@triathlete23 What is wrong with some people? Who is such a cocky jerk that joining a league like yours and kicking butt does anything for them?

TTCBabyJ · October 2014

@holmanherd I absolutely hate when people come back like nothing ever happened....I mean really take responsibility for your actions.

TP to Univfy PreIVF Predictor test that just gave me a 31% chance of IVF working for me the first time. I know that the percentage isn't horrible but it puts me in the low category of success. And I think the test is just based on your BMI.

theholmanherd · October 2014

@TTCBabyJ, I'm sorry you're outlook isn't ideal. FX the test is wrong and you get a BFP on the first try!

@triathlete23‌, wow. What a great accomplishment for him to railroad inexperienced players with his obvious experience and skill. *eyeroll*

@DaydreamSam, TP to the firestarters! That makes me so angry! I've pretty always lived in fire danger areas and have seen some really awful ones in my day. Longer prison sentences and more fines for those assholes. Also, you SIL sounds like my dad. He doesn't the same thing! I hate that. I had to make sure that all our mutual friends and family knew we weren't talking so they wouldn't feed him info (not accounting for abuela, of course, but she gets the reader's digest version of things anyway because she can't handle more).

@BandM14, ugh, that's awful! I'm sorry

I hope your left ovary gets its shit together.

@iPutKetchupOnKetchup‌, you and me both, doll (about my dad). Sorry AF was such a cruel bitch this month. Many bottles of wine for you.

@amlrunner‌, wine for you. IF is the motherfucking worst.

@mmmKayy‌, I second BunnyBerry. FX for getting through the rest of the process easily.

AFM (and to answer some questions/respond to comments): I agree with Rainbow that he's making it all about him and his anger. As Bunny said, I have set clear boundaries and he overlooks them EVERY SINGLE TIME. I haven't responded yet, but mostly because I don't know if 1) I should, and 2) what the fuck to say. If I respond passive aggressively or in anger, he wins. He always uses my anger to make me seem like an "emotional woman" without valid points or feelings because I'm just "hysterical" or "dramatic". If I don't respond, well he will probably just keep texting me or his stupid wife will be on me (I've already unfriended them on FB). If I respond like nothing happened, he still wins. If I say "well you could have broken the ice, too", he still wins, because it bypasses the whole he needs to apologize bit. I just don't know what to say to him and I hate that I have to strategize over everything. It's exhausting and stressful.

Edit: wording

dominicandreamer · October 2014

@hollowvic I think you need to start setting up twisted ketchup packets at 2:00 AM. Lol

My TPT is to DH's family. I sent them all the info for his birthday next week and not one of them has responded. I'm pretty sure some of them are joining us but they can't seem to text back unless it happens to be a group text to 30+ people. Then I get all that sh!t.

BunnyBerry · October 2014

theholmanherd said:

As Bunny said, I have set clear boundaries and he overlooks them EVERY SINGLE TIME. I haven't responded yet, but mostly because I don't know if 1) I should, and 2) what the fuck to say. If I respond passive aggressively or in anger, he wins. He always uses my anger to make me seem like an "emotional woman" without valid points or feelings because I'm just "hysterical" or "dramatic". If I don't respond, well he will probably just keep texting me or his stupid wife will be on me (I've already unfriended them on FB). If I respond like nothing happened, he still wins. If I say "well you could have broken the ice, too", he still wins, because it bypasses the whole he needs to apologize bit. I just don't know what to say to him and I hate that I have to strategize over everything. It's exhausting and stressful.

Edit: wording

Straight up emotional abuse there. I am so sorry. I guess it's a good and sad thing that you recognize the web he can create.

I've been in that kind of situation - my counselor said the only way "out" is to keep ignoring the communication no matter how constant, mean, sweet, or whatever they get...until the person responds the way you had requested before all that (i.e. with an apology).

Since it's important to have people who care about you giving you constant reminders that you are not the bad guy, or unreasonable, etc. to counterract the manipulation of emotional abuse...you are a kind person and daughter, you've done all you can, this is on him now. When a family member purposefully creates situations to draw out your negative emotions based on his knowledge of you as a person, it's no wonder that it can work sometimes and doesn't make you an emotional/dramatic person!

BandM14 · October 2014

@BlueFairy5‌ sorry you are dealing with anxiety!! I felt some spikes of it while I was taking Femara, but I'm pretty sure it was self-induced because of all of the worrying that I was doing about whether or not it would work. I hope you find some zen soon, maybe do something fun and distracting this weekend! Hugs.

chicory · October 2014

TP to people who take, take, take without ever doing anything in return or showing gratitude. There is this bish in my life who does just that, and it's exhausting. If I could, I'd cut her out of my life. She's neither friend nor family, but my relationship (association?) with her is complex and there's no way to cut the cord without making major job/lifestyle changes I'm unwilling to make. I'm stuck with her until she hopefully grows up and moves out of her small pond. Yuck.

theholmanherd · October 2014

@BunnyBerry and @rainbowbridge14‌, I hadn't thought of it as emotional abuse before, but it makes sense. DH scoffed at the text and he agreed I shouldn't say anything back. My uncle was at a loss, too. So, nothing it is, if for no other reason than I wouldn't know what to say even if I did. Is it bad I've been getting my parent coping skill ideas from Lorelei Gilmore?

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