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WWYD: Baby shower!

yoitsloooyoitslooo member
edited October 2014 in March 2015 Moms
My EDD is March 21st and I was thinking of having my baby shower at the end of January maybe the 27th. But, I feel like it might be a little late in case I have to deal with returns and setting up the nursery still. I just don't know what a good alternate day would be. Anyone suggestions? Also, I want my baby shower to be just the most important women in my life. How do I get that across on my invitation without being rude?
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Re: WWYD: Baby shower!

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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    crunchymamaof2 said:
    I suggest you forget all the thoughts you're having. Seriously. Let someone offer to host a shower for you. You guys can then work on dates together. But the date is about as much as you should be involved with when it comes to a baby shower being thrown in your honor.

    Am I the only one who never even thought about having to return things and not being able to set up an entire bedroom when thinking about my shower? A bit presumptuous IMO.
    OP is also 18, so age may play a factor in baby shower expectations.
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    thejucheidea said:
    If you're planning it yourself and sending out the invitations, you're already being rude, and may god have mercy on your soul for throwing a party to honor yourself.
    My mother and best friend are throwing it, but I do have the say so in the date considering I am the one carrying my baby for 9 months. How is it rude if I would've been planning and sending out the invitations myself? I know plenty of mothers who did it all by themselves. The reason I wanted it all women is because I've been to plenty of showers where in MY opinion it just felt uncomfortable with a bunch of men who would rather not be there in the first place. The shower is for my baby and honoring only the baby. I don't know what I could have said in my post to possibly make you so aggravated and passionate about MY shower and decisions, but it's most definitely not needed :)
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    mel7806 said:
    You don't. You leave it up to the person planning your shower, as it shouldn't be you. I think the date you have "picked" would be just fine. There will still be plenty of time for returns and final touches on the nursery.
    I assure you I am not planning my shower. My mother and best friend are and I'm just helping out. :)
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    yoitslooo said:
    thejucheidea said:
    If you're planning it yourself and sending out the invitations, you're already being rude, and may god have mercy on your soul for throwing a party to honor yourself.
    My mother and best friend are throwing it, but I do have the say so in the date considering I am the one carrying my baby for 9 months. How is it rude if I would've been planning and sending out the invitations myself? I know plenty of mothers who did it all by themselves. The reason I wanted it all women is because I've been to plenty of showers where in MY opinion it just felt uncomfortable with a bunch of men who would rather not be there in the first place. The shower is for my baby and honoring only the baby. I don't know what I could have said in my post to possibly make you so aggravated and passionate about MY shower and decisions, but it's most definitely not needed :)
    A baby shower is the singular event that welcomes a woman into motherhood. The honored person is the mother, and people 'shower' her with gifts. If you throw it for yourself, you're basically telling people that you deserve and expect gifts, and that you're not above orchestrating an event to receive said presents. And that, my dear, is a very rude thing indeed.
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  • crunchymamaof2 crunchymamaof2 member
    yoitslooo said:
    mel7806 said:
    You don't. You leave it up to the person planning your shower, as it shouldn't be you. I think the date you have "picked" would be just fine. There will still be plenty of time for returns and final touches on the nursery.
    I assure you I am not planning my shower. My mother and best friend are and I'm just helping out. :)

    You shouldn't even be doing that.
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    mel7806 said:
    I definitely had most of the big things already bought as I saw it as my responsibility to buy things for my child and I didn't think it was right to ask others to buy the big ticket items. I knew (because she told me) that my mother was buying baby's bedding, and obviously a few other details of the nursery would be covered by the shower. But I also knew the baby would be sleeping in my room for a while anyway, so that didn't matter much to me.
    Point is, don't depend on others to do all your shopping. Also, there probably won't be as many returns as you think. I only ended up returning one thing.
    My big things are already bought for by me and I'm not depending on anyone to do all my shopping. I am just a planner and like to have enough time to deal with any hiccups along the way if there happens to be any.
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    crunchymamaof2 said:
    yoitslooo said:
    thejucheidea said:
    If you're planning it yourself and sending out the invitations, you're already being rude, and may god have mercy on your soul for throwing a party to honor yourself.
    My mother and best friend are throwing it, but I do have the say so in the date considering I am the one carrying my baby for 9 months. How is it rude if I would've been planning and sending out the invitations myself? I know plenty of mothers who did it all by themselves. The reason I wanted it all women is because I've been to plenty of showers where in MY opinion it just felt uncomfortable with a bunch of men who would rather not be there in the first place. The shower is for my baby and honoring only the baby. I don't know what I could have said in my post to possibly make you so aggravated and passionate about MY shower and decisions, but it's most definitely not needed :)

    Um no. A baby shower is to welcome you into motherhood and to "shower" you with gifts. To plan one for yourself is not only attention seeking, but asking people to buy you stuff. Not cool.
    Well, my opinion of a shower was to be welcoming a new baby into the world and have the baby be the one everything is surrounded around. But I do see what you meant by welcoming me into motherhood also. I am the farthest thing from an attention seeker and as you can tell by my previous comments by wanting the shower about my baby and only my baby I am not looking for a party where people can come and shower me with tons of things for myself when the baby should be the center of everything. I have all my big items paid for by myself and my registry and gifts are definitely not my main concern. I don't expect much and I am just excited to have a day to celebrate my baby.
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    thejucheidea said:
    yoitslooo said:
    thejucheidea said:
    If you're planning it yourself and sending out the invitations, you're already being rude, and may god have mercy on your soul for throwing a party to honor yourself.
    My mother and best friend are throwing it, but I do have the say so in the date considering I am the one carrying my baby for 9 months. How is it rude if I would've been planning and sending out the invitations myself? I know plenty of mothers who did it all by themselves. The reason I wanted it all women is because I've been to plenty of showers where in MY opinion it just felt uncomfortable with a bunch of men who would rather not be there in the first place. The shower is for my baby and honoring only the baby. I don't know what I could have said in my post to possibly make you so aggravated and passionate about MY shower and decisions, but it's most definitely not needed :)
    A baby shower is the singular event that welcomes a woman into motherhood. The honored person is the mother, and people 'shower' her with gifts. If you throw it for yourself, you're basically telling people that you deserve and expect gifts, and that you're not above orchestrating an event to receive said presents. And that, my dear, is a very rude thing indeed.
    Good thing I'm not orchestrating my shower like I have repeated multiple times. 
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  • LilMamaDezLilMamaDez member
    I don't understand why everyone is finding it necessary to be so rude and hateful to this woman. I first originally thought the mother planned her own shower as well until my own mother told me otherwise plus she has said multiple times that she is not planning her own shower. I think this is a bunch of mama's to be getting worked up over nothing. This the second pregnancy forum I've joined where it's filled with nothing but hateful arrogant people.
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  • crunchymamaof2 crunchymamaof2 member
    LilMamaDez said:
    I don't understand why everyone is finding it necessary to be so rude and hateful to this woman. I first originally thought the mother planned her own shower as well until my own mother told me otherwise plus she has said multiple times that she is not planning her own shower. I think this is a bunch of mama's to be getting worked up over nothing. This the second pregnancy forum I've joined where it's filled with nothing but hateful arrogant people.

    Then why are you here?
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    Darbie914 said:
    Then have a meet the baby party after baby is born. If it's truly about celebrating the baby.
    This. If its about the baby then the baby should be in attendance. Also, I never understood the reasoning of making returns/ going to the store before the baby comes. You CAN still go out and do stuff after the baby arrives. Heaven forbid you run out of milk or diapers ZOMG!
    I think i'm just OCD about everything and like to have everything planned and dealt with so when the baby comes I won't feel like i'm not as prepared as I should be. I wasn't aware a meet the baby party was something people did, but thank you for the suggestion! I'll just stick to the "baby" shower before though because my best friend and mother already offered.
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  • crunchymamaof2 crunchymamaof2 member
    happymamax2 said:
    Well, my opinion of a shower was to be welcoming a new baby into the world and have the baby be the one everything is surrounded around. But I do see what you meant by welcoming me into motherhood also. I am the farthest thing from an attention seeker and as you can tell by my previous comments by wanting the shower about my baby and only my baby I am not looking for a party where people can come and shower me with tons of things for myself when the baby should be the center of everything. I have all my big items paid for by myself and my registry and gifts are definitely not my main concern. I don't expect much and I am just excited to have a day to celebrate my baby.
    -------------------------------- I think you're not going to get the answers you want here. You should try the baby shower board :).
    Don't send the torture to @mandjs!
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  • janda426janda426 member
    yoitslooo said:

    Darbie914 said:

    crunchymamaof2 said:

    Then have a meet the baby party after baby is born. If it's truly about celebrating the baby.

    This. If its about the baby then the baby should be in attendance.

    Also, I never understood the reasoning of making returns/ going to the store before the baby comes. You CAN still go out and do stuff after the baby arrives. Heaven forbid you run out of milk or diapers ZOMG!


    I think i'm just OCD about everything and like to have everything planned and dealt with so when the baby comes I won't feel like i'm not as prepared as I should be. I wasn't aware a meet the baby party was something people did, but thank you for the suggestion! I'll just stick to the "baby" shower before though because my best friend and mother already offered.

    --end quote--

    You're never going to be fully prepared or have everything you need. You'll get things you end up not needing and you'll have to return or exchange stuff. You'll buy things you hadn't thought you would need. It only takes one day to go return or buy things you need, so having the shower 2 months in advance shouldn't be an issue.
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    LilMamaDez said:
    I don't understand why everyone is finding it necessary to be so rude and hateful to this woman. I first originally thought the mother planned her own shower as well until my own mother told me otherwise plus she has said multiple times that she is not planning her own shower. I think this is a bunch of mama's to be getting worked up over nothing. This the second pregnancy forum I've joined where it's filled with nothing but hateful arrogant people.
    Thank you, I really appreciate it. It's just constant catty women when I thought this was somewhere we come together to share the joys of pregnancy and bringing a baby into the world.  
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    happymamax2 said:
    happymamax2 said:
    Well, my opinion of a shower was to be welcoming a new baby into the world and have the baby be the one everything is surrounded around. But I do see what you meant by welcoming me into motherhood also. I am the farthest thing from an attention seeker and as you can tell by my previous comments by wanting the shower about my baby and only my baby I am not looking for a party where people can come and shower me with tons of things for myself when the baby should be the center of everything. I have all my big items paid for by myself and my registry and gifts are definitely not my main concern. I don't expect much and I am just excited to have a day to celebrate my baby.
    -------------------------------- I think you're not going to get the answers you want here. You should try the baby shower board :).

    Don't send the torture to @mandjs! Haha. Well she doesn't like the answers here*, that's the next best option ;)


    It's not that I don't like the answers here, if these women would have originally approached this and told me in a decent way that I have my definition of a baby shower a little mixed up and it's tradition to not be involved at all I would've respected it, but I got attacked for my age and was told that I was rude and may God have mercy on my soul. Why? Not quite sure.
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  • jpavenskijpavenski member
    I think most people assume showers are for women only mostly. Your mom can just address the invitations to the women. If it was co-ed it would say both peoples names. Nothing rude about that. I am def a planner but love a surprise. I wish I had been surprised, people ended up telling me where & when my baby shower & wedding shower were.
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  • janda426janda426 member
    No one "attacked" you. Nothing here was a TOU violation. Quit being dramatic. And she only said "May God have mercy on your soul" if you're planning your own shower, which you insist you aren't. So that shouldn't apply to you.
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    janda426 said:
    LilMamaDez said:
    I don't understand why everyone is finding it necessary to be so rude and hateful to this woman. I first originally thought the mother planned her own shower as well until my own mother told me otherwise plus she has said multiple times that she is not planning her own shower. I think this is a bunch of mama's to be getting worked up over nothing. This the second pregnancy forum I've joined where it's filled with nothing but hateful arrogant people.
    Thank you, I really appreciate it. It's just constant catty women when I thought this was somewhere we come together to share the joys of pregnancy and bringing a baby into the world.  
    --end quote-- FFS. Fine, be inconsiderate and make your guests feel stupid by writing something on the invitation reminding them not to bring anyone with them. Do what you want. The moment you ask for advice you need to be prepared to hear opinions you don't agree with. Welcome to the real world. I know you're still a teenager, but other opinions exist outside of your own. Get used to it. No one is "hateful" here. I don't think that word means what either of you think it means.
    I now understand that it is rude to ask someone to not bring anyone else. I can accept what advice people are trying to give me. But, it was unnecessary to come on my post and attack me for not understanding I shouldn't be involved in the shower process/planning at all. Me being a teenager has nothing to do with anything. I understood from the get go there are opinions other than my own, but I don't understand why people don't have respect for others and think about the way they speak to anyone else. You are completely ignorant for making a comment about my age when you know nothing about me, but feel the need to join the other women who came on here for no good reason with nothing nice to say and sit behind a computer screen and attack someone else who you know nothing about to make yourself feel better and empowered.
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    janda426 said:
    No one "attacked" you. Nothing here was a TOU violation. Quit being dramatic. And she only said "May God have mercy on your soul" if you're planning your own shower, which you insist you aren't. So that shouldn't apply to you.
    Okay, great. I'm just confused as to why you are still commenting on my post. You have nothing relevant to say yet you continue an argument that had nothing to do with you and you're a brick wall. You just want to hear yourself talk at this point, you should really understand that "you need to be prepared to hear opinions you don't agree with. Welcome to the real world" ;) 
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  • lsilva19lsilva19 member
    I so agree with you. As I am scrolling I am getting mad because there is no reason to be so rude and hateful. If you don't have anything nice or helpful to add then keep your attitude and all negativity to yourself.
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    @RQuinlin Thank you for explaining it. I was just very confused and didn't know that there was a proper way to have a baby shower. My mother planned her own so I assumed I would be fairly involved with the planning process. I appreciate you explaining it for me! :)
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  • mangomimosamangomimosa member
    edited October 2014
    I'm just gonna say -- I'm glad you're not hosting your own shower. I can understand being a little OCD obsessive about things. (I ask neurotic questions, too. I ask them over on the tri boards & get flamed, every time. They just don't understand how awesome I am. :P ) These forums are definitely no-nonsense, but I think the advice (both health-related & social/etiquette) you'll get here is far more trustworthy than any other pregnancy website. Enjoy your shower, whenever it ends up happening. IA with everything @RQuinlin said.

    edited to not be an ass
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  • lsilva19lsilva19 member
    Who says what is and what is not correct. People plan things for themselves all the time. Is it common no but that doesn't mean it's not right. Some of you women are just plain rude and there is nothing you can do to fix your nastiness.
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    @lsilva19 Exactly. Thank you :) And I'm sorry in advance if they come for your head next for sticking up for me lol
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  • yoitsloooyoitslooo member
    @mangomimosa lol I just was not prepared for it since I just recently joined and very recently decided to join in on the converstaions. but it's good to know i'm not the only ocd one here  :P
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  • lsilva19lsilva19 member
    Janda426, nobody's going to play into your antics. I simply don't have the time. I come here to speak my mind in a respectable way. If you can't do the same then don't comment on my post. I'm grown just like you regardless of age so let's act our ages and be respectful. No need for your rudeness, I can do without. Thanks!
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