Who will you tell first (or second, thrid, etc.)?

Unburnt · October 2014

If/when you get pregnant, who will you tell first, second, third, etc.?

Me: Husband, BFF, and other friend who knows I'm trying. And then eventually I'll tell everyone else via Facebook. Husband will tell his family when we decide to go public.

Bee1112 · October 2014

With DS my H was in the bathroom with me when I POAS, so he knew first. The next day I told my BFF. That week (was the week before Christmas) my work friends guessed and I am a terrible liar so they found out. Christmas we told our families. We lived across the state from them so we wanted to tell them in person, that is why it took a week to tell them. After our first ultrasound we

With the next H will know first again. Followed by close family, best friends and FB after first ultrasound.

ETA: I forgot TB. I will tell you guys right after I tell my H. We will probably tell our moms the same day.

WafflesFriendsWork · October 2014

My mom told me today that only DH and my sister can know before her.* I have a couple friends I'm pretty close with and also very open with about TTC so they'll know immediately after. They're also not stupid and know that as soon as I stop drinking it will be because I'm KTFU - I'd have to avoid them for months in order to hide it. We'll tell DH's family after the first tri/we go public because they can't keep a secret to save their lives.

I'm already pretty nervous about when/how to tell my boss and coworkers.

*edit: She said it as a joke. Sorry if this gives you flashbacks of being told what to do. Calm the fuck down.

elizabetheleven · October 2014

My H obviously would be the first to know. Second I'd tell my mom. When I had the loss I was very happy she knew early on so I had someone to talk to about it. Third would be my kids.

Cythe · October 2014

Husband

Mom

BFF whom every time I call her says "omg you're pregnant?" - doesnt know we're TTC

traversity773 · October 2014

1. Husband and son, though my son might know first, even though he won't care or understand lol

2. my bffs (all my bridesmaids)

3. my mom

4. the bump.

5. Everyone else

ramaholic · October 2014

Probably something along the lines of:

Husband, immediately
Bump, 1-2 days after first +
Close friends that can keep secrets
Siblings/Parents, after heartbeat confirmed
Everyone else (including employment) in 2nd Tri

hollyk224 · October 2014

1. Husband

2. Family

3. Close Friends

4. Facebook announcement around the 12 week mark

mandy522 · October 2014

DH seems obvious. No one else until we hear a heartbeat, and then just parents.

Work and other friends will be a minimum of 12 weeks but longer if I'm not showing.

I don't know why, I was just not anxious to share last time around and doubt I will be this time either. Nerves, I guess.

kristyn831 · October 2014

My husband right away. I will probably tell my mother soon after. Most everyone knows we're doing IVF so I started saying that we aren't moving forward with it til at least winter. Hopefully I'll be in 2nd tri by then, when I'll tell everyone else. I doubt that I will ever post on FB.

Ladymouse · October 2014

DH, my mom (and by extension my dad), MIL. Until we hear the heartbeat, no one else. Then FIL, brothers, sisters, grandparents, maybe a few close family members on DH's side=. Honestly not that close to my friends any more to bother telling them privately. Will probably have to tell DH's co-workers. Not sure whether to keep #2 under wraps until the anatomy scan or not.

catwine · October 2014

Husband first, then our families. We talked about maybe having our parents and siblings over for dinner once I am pregnant and telling them all at once. I'll admit I don't want to tell my mom alone because I know she will disapprove at first. Next we'd tell our close friends, and probably post on Facebook after a few months.

ETA: my boss at 3 or 4 months.

Peaseblossom55 · October 2014

My husband first, then my BFF, then bump. I'd feel more comfortable waiting until the second trimester to tell my parents but I may not be able to hold out that long but I'd want to wait until at least hearing the heartbeat or the first ultrasound.

GR8TDANEMOM · October 2014

After 2 losses in 6 months I don't want to tell anyone. Everyone was a great support but I feel like each time I have a loss it hurts my family and I hate doing that. I don't even want to tell my husband because he takes it so hard but I know I have to tell him. Realistically I may keep it quiet for a few weeks see how my first couple betas go then tell my mom too.

anfranklin2 · October 2014

H, bump, a few people in my unit that would need to know, and no one else until we have a heartbeat and ultrasound in hand - then it would be parents, siblings, everyone else.

tlc35 · October 2014

GR8TDANEMOM said:

After 2 losses in 6 months I don't want to tell anyone. Everyone was a great support but I feel like each time I have a loss it hurts my family and I hate doing that. I don't even want to tell my husband because he takes it so hard but I know I have to tell him. Realistically I may keep it quiet for a few weeks see how my first couple betas go then tell my mom too.

This. I think I will tell H and the bump and try not to tell anyone else till we see a good heartbeat. Then we will tell parents and siblings.

virginiaorjohn · October 2014

Before the stick is even dry, husband and my parents. Then the TWW thread. I'll probably never share on Facebook, just tell friends as I see them in 2nd/3rd tri.

garnetandgoldgrace · October 2014

DH, Sister-in-law, bump, assortment of trusted friends, family

brettanomyces · October 2014

H and Bump first.

Family and close friends when I start "showing". I'd prefer to not "tell" people and just let them figure it out, but my in-laws are very particular about being "the first" at whatever and if we don't call people according to a specific timeline and order we'll never hear the end of it. We're still getting flak from them because we didn't notify them about our engagement according to their liking.

I won't publicly announce anything on social media. Maybe some vague-booking when I'm in 3rd-tri, but I'm so not into publicly posting photos of inside my ute.

icaughtfire · October 2014

GR8TDANEMOM said:
After 2 losses in 6 months I don't want to tell anyone. Everyone was a great support but I feel like each time I have a loss it hurts my family and I hate doing that. I don't even want to tell my husband because he takes it so hard but I know I have to tell him. Realistically I may keep it quiet for a few weeks see how my first couple betas go then tell my mom too.

All of this. I feel guilty for telling people and then having to go back to "untell" them. The first time only H & our parents knew, second time around we'd told our families & closest friends. I'm pretty sure next time around we'll keep quiet until 12 weeks with family and we may not announce on Facebook at all.

femmepink · October 2014

1. Husband (but if he's at work I think 1 & 2 might be swapped)
2. Girls on my BMB FB group from when I had my son who are rooting for my BFP.
3. Maybe my BFF? (around the 8 week+ point, after our first ultrasound)
4. Parents (^^^ same as above)
5. Work at the 12 week point.
6. Public, FB, 18+ weeks, after the results from the combined screening come back. I did it this way with my son and it made me feel better announcing it later than earlier.

abcdefghijk12345678 · October 2014

1. DH.
2. The Bump. Probably just in the TWW thread, because I know how much we all hate drive-by BFPs.
3. DH has to notify his chain of command.
4. My friends and coworkers (but only if I can't hide my symptoms).
5. Parents and other family (planning on 2nd trimester, but definitely after heartbeat and first US).
6. Probably will not announce anything on Facebook. Definitely not posting an US pic!

kayladawn91 · October 2014

Husband first, then our immediate family when I'm 10-13 weeks along. Then we have a few friends we'll probably tell in person. Everyone else will find out via Facebook or through the grapevine!

rebecca+matt · October 2014

Hubby first. Absolutely.
Then I'm not sure. I have a friend I'd want to tell first, but my mother would murder me if I told anyone else before her. So probably parents, then super close friends, then friends, then the rest of the world in the second tri. I am struggling with how soon I'd want to share though. Hubby would be the instant the stick shows 2 lines, everyone else I'm not sure.
P.S. DarcyHermione I LOVE your siggy! Emperor's New Groove is one of my fav's

mylittlekitty · October 2014

1. H

2. Work (because xrays and other dangerous things)

3. Moms, Dads, siblings at 2nd tri.

4. Everyone else when we see them or they hear about it.

beinfamous · October 2014

Well husband of course. I would probably try to wait till 2nd trimester to start telling others.

MrsC0617 · October 2014

1. DH
2. Bumpies
3. My parents
4. My two BFF
5. In laws
6. A bunch of other people before I put it on FB. DH and I already have our video announcement ready for FB.

It would be nice if this actually ever happened.

KingLED · October 2014

MrsC0617 said:

1. DH 2. Bumpies 3. My parents 4. My two BFF 5. In laws 6. A bunch of other people before I put it on FB. DH and I already have our video announcement ready for FB. It would be nice if this actually ever happened.

Say what now? You really made a video announcement for a pregnancy that hasn't even happened yet?

nandaboob06 · October 2014

1. Dh and kids and the bump
2. Parents after the first ultrasound
3. Family shortly after
4. Close friends

ChuggingWater · October 2014

probably the same order as last time. Husband. Coworkers because we were at a barbecue with lots of booze and that was very unlike me to not be the sloppy drunk. Sister. Bump. And then we waited to tell our families until 8 weeks. However some of our closest friends knew before we told our families.

longhornwino0907 · October 2014

DH and I have had a lot of discussion about this. Our families would be crushed finding out via Facebook, so we've decided that DH will be the first to know, and then probably my BFF. After we have our first ob appointment, then we'll tell our parents. (Since mine live near us and his live across the country, we're thinking of overnighting a package to each with maybe a kids' book signed by "baby" or something like that, that way no one gets the privilege of being told in person and neither set of parents can get jealous). Prior to a Facebook announcement, we'll tell our closer extended family members. And then a general FB announcement.

My BFF will be doing a photo shoot with us, so I'm hoping to get some really great, fun announcement photos done (pets with a sign that they're being promoted to big sisters, posing with a "bump ahead" sign, you know, the usual!)

j&gmiller2015 · October 2014

amc2511 said:

1. DH. 2. The Bump. Probably just in the TWW thread, because I know how much we all hate drive-by BFPs. 3. DH has to notify his chain of command. 4. My friends and coworkers (but only if I can't hide my symptoms). 5. Parents and other family (planning on 2nd trimester, but definitely after heartbeat and first US). 6. Probably will not announce anything on Facebook. Definitely not posting an US pic!

THIS. But switching 4 & 5. I want my work to know after my family. And NO Facebook announcement....then people ask for pictures and updates. If I wanted you to be updated and have pictures of my baby...you would.

loisloan1118 · October 2014

With DD I told DH right after I got the call from the doctor's office. I wasn't turning a pee stick but no AF. I could practically hear the nurse I spoke with rolling her eyes over the phone (after spending more time here & finding out more about my cycle I can see why), but I wasn't taking no for an answer. It was the week before Christmas & I needed to know!

We told our families on Christmas Day (they would have guessed, it would be my first sober holiday since I was a teenager - lol!) and I told my 3 close friends in person a couple of weeks later, my boss "guessed" it about a week later. I suspect she was reading my email or checking my internet history.

I told my coworkers and announced on FB at the 12 week mark.

When I get my BFP this time around I'll tell DH first and maybe my close friends. I'm going to try and keep it from my family for a couple weeks. I plan to have DD announce to our parents. Everyone else can wait till 2nd tri.

ETA: I'd tell you guys right after getting BFP

Lottie&Paul · October 2014

H first, then my mom and BFF. We won't tell anyone else until 2nd tri. Then the order will be my son, my dad and stepmom, H's parents, our siblings, followed by close friends. There is no way I'd tell my son (he's 2.5 yrs) until I'm ready for everyone to know.

TRP85 · October 2014

Husband, BFF, TB, and then parents (specifically my mom) once we are a little further along. We'll do the whole Facebook announcement thing once I am into my second trimester and I've told work.

mommacandi · October 2014

I'll tell H first, then post on here

I'll immediately tell my parents and in laws and my very close friend. No one else until 12 weeks. No post on FB until after 20 weeks, if at all.

catwine · October 2014

I asked D who he would tell first and he said:

our parents
his best friends
the secretary at his office who is always checking is desk to see if an US picture has been added to our wedding photo frame
Facebook friends

mikeandnat · October 2014

I hate surprises, and I am a terrible liar. It's hard for me not to tell everyone what their Christmas presents are.

Having said that, the plan is:

DH immediately
Family all together (mom can't be negative/judgey in front of everyone) after 12 weeks
Work after that

LifeDizzy · October 2014

I know I'm in the minority, but when I get pregnant, I will tell everyone around week 8ish. Pretty much after my first doctor's appointment. Of course, my husband and then these boards on the internet will know before that haha.

I know most people don't prefer telling people "too early" in case something happens. But I personally believe that it is a life no matter how far it gets, and should something happen to that life, I still want to celebrate it! And we have already chosen to tell many people that we are actively trying. If they get too nosy, I'll just tell them to keep checking facebook and twitter for updates

~Mrs.Wise~ · October 2014

1) DH is always with me when I test.
2) bff immediately
3) within 2-3 days our parents and siblings all together. My MIL would totally be cool with my parents knowing first but because she is always so cool and laid back about my family I feel like I owe her the respect of not doing that.
4) after a confirmed HB my extended family because we're extremely close and I would need them if something happens
5) everyone else at 12 weeks

Who will you tell first (or second, thrid, etc.)?

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