Community› The Bump Month Clubs› May 2015 Moms
May 2015 Moms
New Discussion

Don't touch me!

nurserachel22nurserachel22 member
in May 2015 Moms
Okay, so I remember hearing about the decreased libido, but geesh! I love my fiancé I really do. Here lately though I feel like-- don't touch me, don't look at me, don't mention sex, etc. anybody else feeling this way? I almost feel like the thought of sex is gross.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Don't touch me!

  • marijaa333marijaa333 member
    edited October 2014
    I'm the opposite - fantasies, dreams, extra sensitivity. Makes no sense!

    It's safe to say that the hormones have taken over our bodies. Resistance is futile... 

    By the same token, what is true today, may not be true tomorrow. We could be in exactly reversed situations by next week.

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Ballet80Ballet80 member
    I don't want to have sex until the baby/babies get here. I am so bloated and I feel so gross about myself. After the first epic fail for my husband attempting to have sex he now knows he has to wait until 2 trimester, but he doesn't know I'm not doing the deed the either-unless something changes drastically!!! [-X
    Report Reply
  • sdrhodes12sdrhodes12 member
    Yes I'm not feeling sex right now either! Hopefully thus will change soon! I am just too tired/bloated. >:/

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • mrshall1027mrshall1027 member
    IFinTN said:


    mrshall1027 said:

    Ballet80 said:

    I don't want to have sex until the baby/babies get here. I am so bloated and I feel so gross about myself. After the first epic fail for my husband attempting to have sex he now knows he has to wait until 2 trimester, but he doesn't know I'm not doing the deed the either-unless something changes drastically!!! [-X

    I'm going to try to say this in the least snarky way possible, so I apologize in advance if I come off that way.

    I've read similar responses as yours on other threads and I just can't grasps my head around this thought. I get being scared to have sex or not having the drive, but to say that you don't want to for the entire pregnancy is crazy to me. I obviously don't know about your sex life or marriage, but I know my husband would be very hurt if I kept pushing him away when he wanted to be intimate. That's a huge connection for us and if I said no to him all the time, it would severely impact our relationship in a negative way.

    Trust me, there have been times even I'm just not in the mood, but I still participate to make him happy. Maybe because I've had a failed marriage, my experience from that impacts how I am in this one so I try harder to make sure my husband is always happy with our relationship. But I also know how I'd feel if he was constantly telling me no when i wanted to.

    People are different. We probably won't have sex during our entire pregnancy and DH is fine with it. Our marriage is very strong after going through 4 years of infertility and finally IVF.  Logically we know it won't "hurt" the baby but we choose not to do anything in first tri that could cause bleeding and a freak out.  After that, we'll see but most likely we won't.   

    Now that's a little different from him always asking for it and me saying "no."  But even if that were the case, my DH would understand.  Maybe hers does too.  It does not mean there's marriage problems afoot.


    I wasn't implying there were any marriage problems. I've just seen several similar replies to this topic from different people, and is just surprising to me that this is so common. My husband and I went through a lot of IF treatments and have had other huge stress issues in our marriage, and yes it made us much closer, but I just feel that intimacy is a huge part of a relationship.

    I can see if both people are on the same page, and that's what works for them, then keep on keepin' on. That just wouldn't work for either of us. We need that. My doctor wanted me to hold off on having sex for a week because I spotted once after having sex and they just wanted to make sure I wasn't bleeding for another reason. Yes, it freaked me out, but I knew if I was going to have a miscarriage, it wasn't going to be caused by having sex. And that week long wait really sucked for us.
    Newest blog post 4/23/15
    Anniversary
     
    Report Reply
  • DawnLillyDawnLilly member
    There are other ways to be intimate. DH rubs my feet and I consider that intimacy. If I don't want sex I don't want sex and he doesn't push me. But if I'm even halfway in the mood and could take it or leave it, I have sex. He responds to physical interaction as love and his importance to me. Once we start I usually get in the mood anyway. I respond to verbal affirmation and he responds to physical interaction. So sometimes it's important for me to have sex with him because I love him even if I'm not totally in the mood.
    Report Reply
  • mrshall1027mrshall1027 member
    I completely agree with everything you said @DawnLilly. I think we're the opposite though - I'm big on the physical affection and he's big on the emotional and thankfully we've been able to meet each others needs.
    Newest blog post 4/23/15
    Anniversary
     
    Report Reply
  • MallyJM128MallyJM128 member
    I go back and forth depending on my MS. Sometimes I want it so bad and other days I'm like..if you touch me I may throw up on you. We've also been battling nasty colds since last week too..DH then me now DS. So we've only been able to do it once in the past week or so.

    I have my days where I'm not in the mood, but if I sense DH wants it or if it's been awhile then I will for him. Like PP, he needs more of the physical intimacy than I do so it's important for me to acknowledge that.

    imageimage

    image
    Report Reply
  • chetasuchetasu member
    I understand the feeling of not wanting to be touched and/or being exhausted. But I get myself mentally prepared throughout the day and we end up having sex that night. Not the sexiest thing in the world but the feeling is absolutely amazing now that you're pregnant and it's totally worth it. Even my back pain went away the other night :-)

     image

    BabyFruit Ticker

    Siggy challenge:

     

    image

    Report Reply
  • nurserachel22nurserachel22 member
    @chetasu‌ I get that! Some days I feel different. I just recently switched to the ewwwww sex thing. Maybe I'll continue to bounce back and forth lol
    Report Reply
  • lakingsfan2015lakingsfan2015 member
    I am on pelvic rest so sex isn't even an option but I always make sure we share some sort of intimate moments every day. Most days I just rub his back while we lay and watch TV. I also take care of him if he asks ;) he needs the physical touch.

    -----
    DS1:15 
    DS2: 8
    DS3: 2
    Due May 2015 with twin GIRLS!

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"