A little hope about sibling spacing...

Steph1673 · October 2014

I had a client meeting today where the client mentioned he just had his 4th child last week; I wanted to be immediately jealous, but I asked how old the others were and he said 14, 10, 6 and newborn. (I was expecting 4 under 3 or something equally ridiculous) He said "yeah they are each almost 5 years apart from the next!" and went on to talk about each of their unique relationships with each other. As my DD gets closer to 4, this gave me a little hope and made me feel a little better that people have all kinds of families with all kinds of spacing and it works.

pdxveg · October 2014

I really get bummed out about my DD being so much older than any potential sibling(s). She is almost 3.5 and I wanted my kids about 2 years apart. My husband tries to remind me that they will still have a bond. I think it is always nice to hear about the sibling dynamics of kids spaced farther out. It seems like all I ever see on Facebook is 1-2 years max.

Jodee37 · October 2014

Thank you for posting this. I get down when I think about how DS will be 3 almost 4 years old at this point i I'm lucky enough to get KTFU. This made me feel a bit bitter.

BDevereaux · October 2014

If we are lucky enough to get pregnant, DD will be five years old. I think that fact bothered my husband, but I pointed out that he and his younger brother are 5 years apart and they are extremely close.

My sister is thirteen years older than me we're the best of friends and have always had a special bond.

So basically, I don't agree with having "ideal" age differences. I never wanted to have kids really close in age, anyway, although, I do wonder if we would have tried sooner, if we would have dealt with infertility like we are now.

So yes! It will work!

Edit: I don't know why I keep typing DS... I have a daughter... carry on...

BillyMollyEmmy · October 2014

Also:

Less daycare expenses

Having more one-on-one time with baby while the older sibling is in school

Having a helper

At least having one sleeping child in the house (being up with two under two? Hell nah!)

There are benefits, even though it sucks in the moment.

fuzzbumble · October 2014

Love this post. Definitely something we think about. Bumble will be 5 at least, but I know she'll be a great helper! Also, she'll start kindergarten, so no double daycare!

Bananappeal145 · October 2014

I get bummed about this all the time. I really really wanted to be all done being pregnant (because I hate it. I f'ing hate it) and done with the baby phase (I know that sounds terrible but the newborn phase, while awesome in many many ways, is not really a big thrill for me. Might have had something to do with the colic.) I look at my daughter and I think I should have two KIDS running around my house by now. I just keep telling myself that she'll be able to help a lot more and understand a lot better the older she is. And there have been times, like when she's been really sick that I've been glad I didn't also have an infant to take care of. Seriously, I could have had two and half pregnancies by now.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

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MelissaMaye · October 2014

This post is just what I needed today! DD will be 3.5 this month - I wanted to have our kiddos 3 years apart.......that didn't work out.

Dannie138 · October 2014

I was worried about that too. My older two are 7 and 6....and they adore their 2 and 1 yr old siblings. I didn't want that big gap in between, but it really has worked out okay!

bumpuser6119831 · October 2014

My kids will be at least 3 years apart and it really hurts sometimes as I wanted my kids close in age. This just comes from being the youngest by 7 years and my brothers and sister are really close in age.

CeCe8579 · October 2014

My DD will be 8 years older or more if she doesn't end up being an only child.

Jodee37 · October 2014

Iloveshanej said:
My DD will be 8 years older or more if she doesn't end up being an only child.

She's not going to be an only child @iloveshanej. [-X

You are well on your way to adopting!

spfclr · October 2014

The closest I can hope for now is a 5 year gap. Although I feel a sibling is so important in life, I do think she's doing fine now with friends and family to play with. My brothers and I are closer in age, but weren't friends until everyone hit their 20's so I feel like any age gap is OK - they hopefully will still be able to count on each other when they are adults.

CeCe8579 · October 2014

Jodee37 said:

Iloveshanej said:
My DD will be 8 years older or more if she doesn't end up being an only child.
She's not going to be an only child @iloveshanej. [-X

You are well on your way to adopting!

@Jodee37‌, thank you my love!

lawmom747 · October 2014

Bananappeal145 said:

I get bummed about this all the time. I really really wanted to be all done being pregnant (because I hate it. I f'ing hate it) and done with the baby phase (I know that sounds terrible but the newborn phase, while awesome in many many ways, is not really a big thrill for me. Might have had something to do with the colic.) I look at my daughter and I think I should have two KIDS running around my house by now. I just keep telling myself that she'll be able to help a lot more and understand a lot better the older she is. And there have been times, like when she's been really sick that I've been glad I didn't also have an infant to take care of. Seriously, I could have had two and half pregnancies by now.

THIS. And really - I lost all this weight just to go on and gain it back? Mixed up, right?

I feel like my entire life has been on hold and I just want to have another child and move on - literally. We are only living in NJ right now to be close to our RE who is one of the best. I would like a baby to finally stick. We are ready for a baby, and DD is ready for sibling.

As PP noted, thank goodness for this board and being able to discuss these things which many would not understand.

sailorgal · October 2014

I'm now okay with the idea of my kids being at least 5 years apart. I'm not so sure how I will feel about 6 years apart for us (though I know it's great for many others families)...but I'm pretty sure DH will be done before we get to that point anyhow. We talked yesterday a bit about timeframes again. I think we're going to give it up to 6 more cycles (up to 3 more IUIs).

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