A little hope about sibling spacing...

Steph1673

I had a client meeting today where the client mentioned he just had his 4th child last week; I wanted to be immediately jealous, but I asked how old the others were and he said 14, 10, 6 and newborn. (I was expecting 4 under 3 or something equally ridiculous) He said "yeah they are each almost 5 years apart from the next!" and went on to talk about each of their unique relationships with each other. As my DD gets closer to 4, this gave me a little hope and made me feel a little better that people have all kinds of families with all kinds of spacing and it works.

pdxveg

I really get bummed out about my DD being so much older than any potential sibling(s). She is almost 3.5 and I wanted my kids about 2 years apart.  My husband tries to remind me that they will still have a bond.  I think it is always nice to hear about the sibling dynamics of kids spaced farther out.  It seems like all I ever see on Facebook is 1-2 years max.  

Jodee37

Thank you for posting this. I get down when I think about how DS will be 3 almost 4 years old at this point i I'm lucky enough to get KTFU. This made me feel a bit bitter.

BDevereaux

If we are lucky enough to get pregnant, DD will be five years old.  I think that fact bothered my husband, but I pointed out that he and his younger brother are 5 years apart and they are extremely close.

My sister is thirteen years older than me we're the best of friends and have always had a special bond.

So basically, I don't agree with having "ideal" age differences.  I never wanted to have kids really close in age, anyway, although, I do wonder if we would have tried sooner, if we would have dealt with infertility like we are now.

So yes!  It will work!  

Edit:  I don't know why I keep typing DS... I have a daughter... carry on...

BillyMollyEmmy

Also: 

Less daycare expenses

Having more one-on-one time with baby while the older sibling is in school

Having a helper

At least having one sleeping child in the house (being up with two under two? Hell nah!)

There are benefits, even though it sucks in the moment. 

fuzzbumble

Love this post.  Definitely something we think about.  Bumble will be 5 at least, but I know she'll be a great helper!  Also, she'll start kindergarten, so no double daycare!  

Bananappeal145

I get bummed about this all the time. I really really wanted to be all done being pregnant (because I hate it. I f'ing hate it) and done with the baby phase (I know that sounds terrible but the newborn phase, while awesome in many many ways, is not really a big thrill for me. Might have had something to do with the colic.) I look at my daughter and I think I should have two KIDS running around my house by now. I just keep telling myself that she'll be able to help a lot more and understand a lot better the older she is. And there have been times, like when she's been really sick that I've been glad I didn't also have an infant to take care of. Seriously, I could have had two and half pregnancies by now.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

MelissaMaye

This post is just what I needed today! DD will be 3.5 this month - I wanted to have our kiddos 3 years apart.......that didn't work out.

Dannie138

I was worried about that too. My older two are 7 and 6....and they adore their 2 and 1 yr old siblings. I didn't want that big gap in between, but it really has worked out okay!

bumpuser6119831

My kids will be at least 3 years apart and it really hurts sometimes as I wanted my kids close in age. This just comes from being the youngest by 7 years and my brothers and sister are really close in age.

CeCe8579

My DD will be 8 years older or more if she doesn't end up being an only child.

Jodee37

Iloveshanej said:

My DD will be 8 years older or more if she doesn't end up being an only child.

She's not going to be an only child @iloveshanej. [-X

You are well on your way to adopting!

spfclr

The closest I can hope for now is a 5 year gap.  Although I feel a sibling is so important in life, I do think she's doing fine now with friends and family to play with.  My brothers and I are closer in age, but weren't friends until everyone hit their 20's so I feel like any age gap is OK - they hopefully will still be able to count on each other when they are adults.

CeCe8579

Jodee37 said:

Iloveshanej said:

My DD will be 8 years older or more if she doesn't end up being an only child.

She's not going to be an only child @iloveshanej. [-X

You are well on your way to adopting!

@Jodee37‌, thank you my love!

lawmom747

Bananappeal145 said:

I get bummed about this all the time. I really really wanted to be all done being pregnant (because I hate it. I f'ing hate it) and done with the baby phase (I know that sounds terrible but the newborn phase, while awesome in many many ways, is not really a big thrill for me. Might have had something to do with the colic.) I look at my daughter and I think I should have two KIDS running around my house by now. I just keep telling myself that she'll be able to help a lot more and understand a lot better the older she is. And there have been times, like when she's been really sick that I've been glad I didn't also have an infant to take care of. Seriously, I could have had two and half pregnancies by now.

THIS.  And really - I lost all this weight just to go on and gain it back?  Mixed up, right?

I feel like my entire life has been on hold and I just want to have another child and move on - literally.  We are only living in NJ right now to be close to our RE who is one of the best.  I would like a baby to finally stick.  We are ready for a baby, and DD is ready for sibling. 

As PP noted, thank goodness for this board and being able to discuss these things which many would not understand.

sailorgal

I'm now okay with the idea of my kids being at least 5 years apart. I'm not so sure how I will feel about 6 years apart for us (though I know it's great for many others families)...but I'm pretty sure DH will be done before we get to that point anyhow. We talked yesterday a bit about timeframes again. I think we're going to give it up to 6 more cycles (up to 3 more IUIs).