You know you're 8 months pregnant when...

mander82 · October 2014

When your back hurts so bad you would rather stand than sit on the couch.

mongre101 · October 2014

You eat an entire cupcake in one bite! It is justified. You look at everyone around you daring them to say something. SAY SOMETHING! And then have another cupcake. SOOOOO DELICIOUS.

luvalways77 · October 2014

brichar31 said:

You drop something on the floor and it becomes unimportant

Stealing this one. Happens all the time!

jac409 · October 2014

Sarahbeth612 said:

You throw up in your mouth a little whenever you have to bend forward

So this! You ladies covered the rest pretty well.

jj0313 · October 2014

You ask your husband to check something on your legs and don't realize you don't have any underwear on because you can't see them. And you realize this only after he gives a horrified look at your bush-which you didn't know was huge because you also can't see that.

MrsC430 · October 2014

Your legs consistently have a half assed shave job.

You avoid sex like the plague.

Sarahbeth612 · October 2014

LOL love this

When putting groceries in fridge, DH says "uh honey, you know you just knocked over all the condiments on the door with the belly.."

Also trying to "suck it in" to squeeze by and just as you can say excuse me, you've practically knocked over the other person

hjenni · October 2014

When you're baking cookies and put the flour away in the fridge. Hello pregnant brain. 8-|

staugustinewedding · October 2014

When you have:
1. So much discharge ....
2. HEARTBURN
3. tummy is suddenly really heavy

Hardwrkr · October 2014

When you really can't remember the last time u saw your vagina without looking in a mirror

fyreandblood · October 2014

When you rage loudly at assholes and they just ignore you, because apparently it's okay to almost bowl a preg lady over but not to respond to her rude comments?

MissN06 · October 2014

You feel you deserve a medal for pooping, doing any housework, or getting socks on by yourself.

jillybean7582 · October 2014

When you seriously consider letting your two year old crap his pants because it would be easier to clean up once than to do the evening ritual of running to the bathroom with him 10-15 times in a 15-20min timespan as he yells go go go then proceeds not to go....

Kid I realize you have only been out of diapers for 3wks but please just sit on the toliet for longer than 2.2 seconds and I promise the poop will come out the first time we run in there and we can eliminate trips 2-20. Your killing mommy here.

goldngirl24 · October 2014

I'm not the only one!!! Yes to so many of these. I just want to add: lightening crotch.

Caraluvs · October 2014

When someone asks how the pregnancy thing is going, you can no longer find it in you to give a cheery smile and answer, "Thanks for asking. I'm doing great!"

Now the first response is the stink eye for forcing you to come up with some lie, and the answer comes out as a kind of strained sigh, "Ooooo.....kay?"

minibean16 · October 2014

When you're walking the aisles to check homework, and you hit 3/4 of your class in the head with your belly.

When you'd rather walk to the front desk to get more pens than grabbing any of the dozen that have fallen under your desk.

fyreandblood · October 2014

goldngirl24 said:
I'm not the only one!!! Yes to so many of these. I just want to add: lightening crotch.

THIS SO HARD. I made my mom a hot chocolate and spilled it because of lightning crotch. She asked me what happened and all i could say through the pain was, "it hurts in my lady place."

Jpinky9 · October 2014

You ladies have nailed them all!!!

Right now it's after 1am and I am sitting up in bed because my back is so sore and the heartburn is so bad... Enough said!

dnetherl · October 2014

When you have to ask your husband what it looks like down there after shaving, as you can't see your vagina and are too scared to look in the mirror.

When you purchase products that you never thought you'd be purchasing until you were in your 70's: depends, tucks, stool softener, epsom salts, sitz bath, etc.

missnacholover · October 2014

When you say "fuck" and "shit" so much that your husband tells you that you are giving baby a potty mouth and his/her first word is going to have 4 letters. (Mama, DUH!)

carmelissa · October 2014

Kllopez1221 said:

Folding laundry while standing cause you to walk like this the remainder of the night..

Except much slower...

OMG THIS!!

silverwings72 · October 2014

@fyreandblood‌ - "it hurts in my lady place." You just won this thread! I was dying laughing!!

)

- When you're not sure whether to kiss or kill your husband on daily a basis.

- When you post a Facebook status in the middle of the night stating how much you love everyone and end up crying hysterically because you just can't believe you're having a BABY. (Me two nights ago)

missnacholover · October 2014

silverwings72 said:

@fyreandblood‌ - "it hurts in my lady place." You just won this thread! I was dying laughing!! ) - When you're not sure whether to kiss or kill your husband on daily a basis. - When you post a Facebook status in the middle of the night stating how much you love everyone and end up crying hysterically because you just can't believe you're having a BABY. (Me two nights ago)

Yup.

Lilwatz · October 2014

mussalynn said:

You stand on your tippy toes to look at something high up and when you come back down, you accidentally place your belly on the counter. Yeesh!
Lol this is how I brush my teeth!! So much more comfortable with belly resting on the counter as opposed to ramming into it...!

I take a wide stance about 8-12" away from the sink then lean forward with my belly between me and the counter. This puts my face directly over the sink and tooth brushing commences. It really works for me.

I also use this time to stretch out my inner thighs!

Lilwatz · October 2014

You really have brilliantly covered a lot of mine. I'd only add:

...when taking a poo after it's been awhile since the last one feels better than you remember sex to feel.

...you no longer make any effort to hold gas in in public because the pain is not worth it.

brichar31 · October 2014

You notice that everyone you walk by is staring at your belly. The people you know and speak too say "hello" and then look down at your belly

NunyaBennis · October 2014

The foil is in the fridge, a cookie sheet is in the dryer (with the door hanging open), and amidst your confusion about why the milk won't fit in the pantry you wonder why you're in the kitchen to begin with since you had just gotten up to pee... if remembering correctly.

fyreandblood · October 2014

Weird question:

Lilwatz said:
You really have brilliantly covered a lot of mine. I'd only add:

...when taking a poo after it's been awhile since the last one feels better than you remember sex to feel.

...you no longer make any effort to hold gas in in public because the pain is not worth it.

THESE. I cannot even hold gas in anymore. THE PRESSUREEE

cindyNmark2010 · October 2014

When you've masetered the art of peeing in a cup without getting any anywhere.

When you kick yourself out of bed at night to go downstairs and sleep in the recliner in the living room...because sitting up is just more better.

When you know enough to know what the feeling of MS coming on is and you're proud that you can strip down and make it to the shower fast enough since you know you're going to pee while you're puking. 2 for 1 cleanup!!

When you remember to wipe your belly button out after an US.....because the first time you found the gel in there was just nasty.

When you've had enough of rude bishes pushing past you and your giant bump to get onto the elevator before you and you call them out on how rude they are.

Lilwatz · October 2014

cindyNmark2010 said:

When you've masetered the art of peeing in a cup without getting any anywhere.
When you kick yourself out of bed at night to go downstairs and sleep in the recliner in the living room...because sitting up is just more better.
When you know enough to know what the feeling of MS coming on is and you're proud that you can strip down and make it to the shower fast enough since you know you're going to pee while you're puking. 2 for 1 cleanup!!
When you remember to wipe your belly button out after an US.....because the first time you found the gel in there was just nasty.
When you've had enough of rude bishes pushing past you and your giant bump to get onto the elevator before you and you call them out on how rude they are.

Wrt to the bolded: I've found the opposite to be true. I had it DOWN, then the last two times ALL OVER MY HAND.

missnacholover · October 2014

Lilwatz said:

cindyNmark2010 said:

When you've masetered the art of peeing in a cup without getting any anywhere.
When you kick yourself out of bed at night to go downstairs and sleep in the recliner in the living room...because sitting up is just more better.
When you know enough to know what the feeling of MS coming on is and you're proud that you can strip down and make it to the shower fast enough since you know you're going to pee while you're puking. 2 for 1 cleanup!!
When you remember to wipe your belly button out after an US.....because the first time you found the gel in there was just nasty.
When you've had enough of rude bishes pushing past you and your giant bump to get onto the elevator before you and you call them out on how rude they are.

Wrt to the bolded: I've found the opposite to be true. I had it DOWN, then the last two times ALL OVER MY HAND.

They should put rubber gloves in the bathrooms for us.

NunyaBennis · October 2014

Lilwatz said:

cindyNmark2010 said:

When you've masetered the art of peeing in a cup without getting any anywhere.
When you kick yourself out of bed at night to go downstairs and sleep in the recliner in the living room...because sitting up is just more better.
When you know enough to know what the feeling of MS coming on is and you're proud that you can strip down and make it to the shower fast enough since you know you're going to pee while you're puking. 2 for 1 cleanup!!
When you remember to wipe your belly button out after an US.....because the first time you found the gel in there was just nasty.
When you've had enough of rude bishes pushing past you and your giant bump to get onto the elevator before you and you call them out on how rude they are.

to the bolded: I've found the opposite to be true. I had it DOWN, then the last two times ALL OVER MY HAND.

Right? Peeing on my thumb is the only way I know (a) pee is actually getting to the cup, and (b) when said cup is full.

uncharted01 · October 2014

missnacholover said:

Lilwatz said:

cindyNmark2010 said:

When you've masetered the art of peeing in a cup without getting any anywhere.
When you kick yourself out of bed at night to go downstairs and sleep in the recliner in the living room...because sitting up is just more better.
When you know enough to know what the feeling of MS coming on is and you're proud that you can strip down and make it to the shower fast enough since you know you're going to pee while you're puking. 2 for 1 cleanup!!
When you remember to wipe your belly button out after an US.....because the first time you found the gel in there was just nasty.
When you've had enough of rude bishes pushing past you and your giant bump to get onto the elevator before you and you call them out on how rude they are.

Wrt to the bolded: I've found the opposite to be true. I had it DOWN, then the last two times ALL OVER MY HAND.

They should put rubber gloves in the bathrooms for us.

My doctor's office has rubber gloves in the bathroom. I'm pretty sure they're for the nurse to pick up the pee cup, but I use them to hold the pee cup.

Curlyfries851 · October 2014

Ripping your belly apart whilst simultaneously tearing down store displays as your belly button catches on one of THESE bloody things!

cindyNmark2010 · October 2014

All the newbie pregos come out of the bathroom with their sample cups wrapped up in paper towels.....like they're ashamed of their pee......wait ladies....just.....wait!!

JFH2010 · October 2014

When you walk by a picture window and notice your reflection and go WHAT THE EFF KIND OF MUTANT IS THAT?? And then realize that that....that is you, my friend.

missnacholover · October 2014

Econosaurus said:

missnacholover said:

Lilwatz said:

cindyNmark2010 said:

When you've masetered the art of peeing in a cup without getting any anywhere.
When you kick yourself out of bed at night to go downstairs and sleep in the recliner in the living room...because sitting up is just more better.
When you know enough to know what the feeling of MS coming on is and you're proud that you can strip down and make it to the shower fast enough since you know you're going to pee while you're puking. 2 for 1 cleanup!!
When you remember to wipe your belly button out after an US.....because the first time you found the gel in there was just nasty.
When you've had enough of rude bishes pushing past you and your giant bump to get onto the elevator before you and you call them out on how rude they are.

Wrt to the bolded: I've found the opposite to be true. I had it DOWN, then the last two times ALL OVER MY HAND.

They should put rubber gloves in the bathrooms for us.

Nope, because when my hands are especially puffy and I can't fit them in the gloves there will be irrational preggo tears.

How about a funnel?

Or a she-wee.

MuchlyGen · October 2014

When you have to worry about gassing your family because you keep accidentally turning on the stove with your belly.

When sometimes it's just easier to roll off the couch and crawl to your children rather than standing up and sitting down again.

When all your smug virtuous standards about healthy diet get thrown out the window and start seriously considering planning your meals around McDonalds, Starbucks, and doughnuts. I am totally buying some Cinnamon Toast Crunch today, dammit.

NunyaBennis · October 2014

MuchlyGen said:
When you have to worry about gassing your family because you keep accidentally turning on the stove with your belly.

When sometimes it's just easier to roll off the couch and crawl to your children rather than standing up and sitting down again.

When all your smug virtuous standards about healthy diet get thrown out the window and start seriously considering planning your meals around McDonalds, Starbucks, and doughnuts. I am totally buying some Cinnamon Toast Crunch today, dammit.

And here I thought knob covers were for toddlers!

fyreandblood · October 2014

When watching any classic romance (Ghost/Dirty Dancing anyone?) or 80s teen movie means loud, ugly sobbing. I just finished Ghost with ugly crying over the Ditto scene and now i'm onto the Breakfast Club and sobbing because IT WILL BE OVER IN TWO HOURS. What.

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