Pregnant after a Loss

an emotional day, thank you for the love, & ultrasound update

First, I want to thank you all for your thoughts of Finn today. Both my husband and I are touched, and feeling the warmth of everybody's words of kindness.

I have felt so many mixed emotions all day - anger (a rare one, surprisingly), hurt and sadness, loneliness, pride, love, fear..., most of all numb. We both feel numb.

Waiting until 4:30 to have an ultrasound - today, of all days - was a feat of patience neither of us had. I was so wound up by the time we got there tears were already dribbling down my face.
So ..you can imagine the meltdown that occurred when they said "oh, we had to cancel your appointment again ..can you come back in a couple weeks?"
I flipped out. Lost it. I dragged my husband out of there and went straight over to my doctor's clinic and cried to her nurse (who is and has always been awesome).
She called the ultrasound place and told them they were doing our ultrasound today end of story.. Magically we were rebooked for 6:00pm.

Bawling, unable to control myself any longer, we went back and got to see our little boy. I'm assuming my favourite nurse did some explaining because the technician was so nice and showed us everything, explaining it all, gently with compassion.
Baby boy is looking great, everything is as it should be. The relief I feel is honestly dizzying.

Though we aren't announcing his name to everyone, I love saying it, and would like to introduce Finn's little brother:
Oliver Heath M ❤️
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Re: an emotional day, thank you for the love, & ultrasound update

  • He's perfect!!!  So sorry you had to go through so much today to get such a precious glimpse of your beautiful little boy!!
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  • Beautiful, and I love the name!!! So sorry your day was so painful, on top of the memories. ((hugs))
    **********************siggy/ticker warning**********************

    ***Losses mentioned.*** TTC #1 since May 2012. Me: 37, OH: 41. Ectopic August 2012 => tubal damage. :'(  Stage 1 endo removed June 2013. IVF #1 Oct/Nov 2013: Long Lupron with Gonal-F. 7R, 7M, 7F. 2 txfer@3d. Nothing frozen.  => M/C @ 8 wks. :'( Selected RPL panel all normal. Very hyper and brittle response to stims. IVF #2 (antagonist protocol) Feb 2014 => Converted to IUI (Perfect conditions). BFN. IVF #2.1 w/ new RE June 2014: Antagonist protocol. 33R, 31M, 30F, 19 blasts to test!!! I made it through without crashing!! :) Hats off to Dr. Fancypants!! ET of one 5AB blast. BFN. 13 10 CCS'ed snowflakes! FET #1 PUPO as of 7/29 Betas: 8/7@24, 8/9@97, 8/11@334 (etc.) Two sacs on 8/15, one seen on 8/18 after a bleed. U/s 8/25 (6+3) "perfect": 5.9 mm + HB@120bpm! U/s 9/4 (7+6): 15.9 mm + HB@172 bpm! Please, PLEASE stick this time!!!!
    http://i955.photobucket.com/albums/ae39/catfreeburg/866da40f5178fed79efe23fc8a4e8a_zps4498a9cc.jpgimageimageimageimage
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  • Thanks ladies :)
    I'm so in love. I can't stop staring at him.
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  • I'm sorry you had a such a tough time with your appt today but so happy you got a great update! Oliver looks adorable, I'm sure Finn loves his little brother already ((hugs))

    Me (30) DH (31) Married 5/13, TTC since 2/13
    BFP #1 Blighted Ovum resulting in D&C on 11/1/13
    BFP #2 Ectopic Pg, lap surgery on 3/12/14, R tube removed

    BFP # 3, EDD 2/21/15 * please be our rainbow*
  • Oliver is just perfect! I know Finn is proud to be called his brother.

    So relieved for you that your day ended with a wonderful scan.
    PCOS & ute crew member
    BFP #1: 10/24/2012  EDD 7/3/13, missed m/c @ 9 weeks, D&E 
    DX: Septate Uterus. Septum resection 6/4/13
    BFP #2: 12/20/2013  EDD 9/1/14, missed m/c @ 7weeks, D&E
    BFP #3: 5/26/2014 EDD 2/7/15, missed m/c @ 9 weeks, D&E- DX Trisomy22
    RPL, Karyotyping, and SHG: All Normal
    BFP #4: 9/6/14 EDD 5/16/15 Praying for our RAINBOW!
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    Baby GIRL on the way!!
    **All AL Welcome**

  • I am so sorry you had such a tough time getting an ultrasound. Sending Big ((Hugs)) your way. Your little boy looks perfect.
    Me- 27 w/PCOS     DH - 28
    TTC since December 2012 
    BFP 6/29/2013 - EDD 3/16/14 - MMC 9/5/2013
    Diagnosed with PCOS and taking metformin 750 mg  twice a day
    April 2014 -  - 1st ICI Cycle - BFP 5/15/14 EDD: 1/20/15
    A/S 8-22-14 - Its a BOY!!
    12/15 Checkup & heard his beautiful heartbeat
    ALL WELCOME -
    imageimage

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  • I've been thinking about you today.  I'm so sorry it was such a mess to get your u/s but Oliver looks perfect!
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    EDD 1- Feb 12, 2013; Ectopic Discovered June 2012; Right Tube Removed July 2, 2012
    EDD 2- Nov 2014; Stopped Growing at 6w; D&C April 2, 2013
    EDD 3- Dec 1, 2014; Fingers Crossed for a Rainbow!
  • I'm sorry you had to deal with that today. So glad that everything is looking good, and I love his name!

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    TTC #1 since January 2013

    BFP #1: April 5, 2013; EDD December 11, 2013; Missed M/C May 15, 2013

    BFP #2: February 17, 2014; EDD October 30, 2014; M/C March 15, 2014

    BFP #3: August 1, 2014; EDD April 14, 2015 - Praying for our RAINBOW!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • He is beautiful! Just perfect!  I heart his name. I would like to give your nurse a ginormous hug. And you and your H, too.

    Married August 2003

    BFP: January 8, 2012
    Due: September 5, 2012
    DS: August 14, 2012

    BFP: November 5, 2013
    Due: July 11, 2014
    MMC Detected d&c: December 29, 2013 12w5d

    BFP: June 10, 2014
    Due: February 16, 2015


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • What a roller coaster of a day! Congrats on the amazing ultrasound and I love his name!
    "As soon as I saw you I knew an adventure was going to happen." ~Winnie the Pooh
  • He is beautiful! Just beautiful. I'm glad they worked it out for you to be able to see him today. Sending love your way.
                          January Siggy Challenge: You had one job
     
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  • What a handsome little man!

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    Pregnancy Ticker

    BFP 5/19/2013. MC 7/2/2013 (9w6d) with est. loss at 8w. Miso 7/3/2013 and emergency D & C 7/6/2013.

    BFP#2 11/6/2013.  CP 11/14/2013.  

    BFP #3 12/13/2013.  Beta #1 @ 15dpo- 239. Progesterone 27.  Beta #2 @17dpo - 90.  CP 12/21/2013

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  -Philippians 4:6-7

    All PgAL and PAL welcome.

  • I'm so glad you were able to get in to the ultrasound, even though it was a frustrating experience. Oliver is perfect!
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN

    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d 
     
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
  • Sorry to hear it was a long,rough day. So many mixed emotions today for you. So happy to hear that baby Oliver is healthy and growing well : )

    Me (28) DH (27)
    Married June 2012
    Started TTC July 2013
         BFP #1          August 2013          EDD 4/29/14            natural MC at 6-7 week
    BFP #2         January 2014         EDD 9/24/14            MC at 8 weeks, D&C
    BFP #3         March 2014            EDD 12/4/14            MC at 8 weeks, D&C
    BFP #4         August 2014            EDD 4/20/15        Hoping for our rainbow
                                                It's a BOY!
     
  • I'm so glad that nurse stood up for you so that you could have your A/S today. I can't believe that they would just cancel in you and not say anything until you showed up. Oliver is so cute! I'm so glad that your scan went well.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)

     

    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

  • I'm so glad you were able to see your beautiful boy today. I'm sorry that they put you through such an ordeal. 
    DH diagnosed with testicular cancer 6/04/10
    Married DH 8/1/11
    7/21/13 SA poor morphology/ low count
    BFP #1 11/18/13, EDD 7/22/14 
    MC Blighted Ovum 12/4/13 @ 7wks
    BFP #2 8/21/14, EDD 5/1/15 
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    All Welcome
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • This brings tears to my eyes. I am glad that they were able to see you. Finn is looking out for you and Oliver.
  • He is beautiful! I absolutely love his name and I am sorry they were such jerks but that nurse sounds amazing. I am so happy you got to see him <3



    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
                                                   TTC Since 2009 
                                        BFP 1: Nov 2010 MMC at 5 Weeks
                  BFP 2: June 2010 First Round of Clomid Blighted Ovum at 7 weeks
         Surprise BFP 3: Feb 2014, Healthy Baby Boy Due October 27th 2014. OB thinks this is it!
  • *hugs*
    Stephanie Lynn 
    *BFP3:7/10/14 EDD: 3/19/15--Renley Alexander born 3/12/15!!*
    11/17/14-adopted a furbaby named Luna (born 9/05/14)
    BFP2: 11/25/11-Aaron Alexander born sleeping at 31 weeks on 05/31/12
    BFP1: 07/28/11-EDD:3/19/12, natural MC 09/12/11 at 12 wks-HB and growth stopped at 6wks
    S&A together since 05/14/11

  • (((Hugs)))) after a such a stressful day. I'm glad Oliver is looking so good!

    BFP #1: 8/17/13     Due Date: 4/26/14      MMC discovered @ 9w 4d       D&C: 10/2/13
    BFP #2: 12/23/13       Due Date: 9/6/14      MMC discovered @ 8w 5d    D&C: 2/6/14
    BFP #3 8/26/14     Due Date: 5/7/15  

    imageimage


  • He is so beautiful :). I'm so sorry for the ultrasound place trying to reschedule but so glad it all worked out and that the u/s tech was very gentle and kind. Congratulations to the whole family!!
    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
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  • Congrats!! I'm sorry it had to be such an anxious and stressful time, but I'm glad your clinic was on the ball and made sure you got the scan. (((Hugs)))

    BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!

    DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart

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  • What a little love bug!!! I love the name. Thank goodness for that nurse. This post made my night. Congratulations!
  • I'm sorry you had such an emotionally confusing day. You must truly be missing your precious Finn. I'm glad that you got to see baby Oliver and that he's doing so well :)

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    Me(24) DH(26)/Married since March 2013
    BFP#1 February 18th 2014/EDD October 27th/MMC discovered at 10w/D&C April 7th 
    BFP#2 July 24th 2014/EDD April 4th 2015/Please be our RAINBOW!
  • Yay for the awesome nurse who helped you! <3 ::hugs::
    -Megan


    Started dating Hubby May 17 2005. Married since Aug 20 2011 
    Me:30   Hubby:31
    TTC since May 2012 
    HSG Dec 2012 Fill no spill on left side, right side normal (most physically painful experience of my life..)
    Metformin Started May 2013
    PG#1: BFP 10-21-13. EDD 6-17-14 mmc 12-9-13 m/c occurred with cytotec on 12-11-13 
    PG#2: BFP 07-25-14.  EDD 4-5-15   *Hoping this is my rainbow*
    Diagnosed with PCOS, Hypothyroid,IBD/UC, (UC in remission as of July 2014)
    *I will always love you Fetey the first.* 
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    ALL WELCOME!



  • That is one handsome baby boy! You deserve those great pictures after your day!
  • Beautiful baby boy and gorgeous name! So glad you got in and had some light at the end of your day!
    ***ticker warning*** DS 3/27/12 born 6 weeks early....my perfect boy !! Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers [url=http://lilypie.com][img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/z5R8p1.png[/img][/url] image<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?
  • Oliver is beautiful and perfect! So many ((hugs)) for you and your husband.  I'm so glad that, despite the initial issues, they were able to get you in for your u/s and the tech was so good to y'all.  
    Anniversary
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    BabyFruit Ticker
      DS #1 born 8/3/06, DS #2 born 10/2/08
    TTC since 8/13 BFP 11/27/13, EDD: 8/3/14
    US 12/9 found 2 Gestational Sacs, MC 12/10/13 6w3d
    BFP #4 5/15/14, EDD: 1/25/14, HB 6/4/14 Movement 8/13/14
    All Welcome

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  • I'm glad that you had someone to advocate for you and get you the care you needed. A lot of times the doctor offices or ultrasound places have no idea how hard it is for women to be rescheduled when really that appointment is the reassurance they have been waiting on for so many days.

    <3 oliver
    BFP #1: It's a GIRL! DD born October, 2012
    BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014
    BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015

    *everyone always welcome*
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  • Oliver is perfect! I'm so glad you got a sweet ending to a rough day.. *HUGS*
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • I am so sorry that they put you through that on top of everything else you were feeling, but I am glad they were able to still do the U/S.

    Lots of (((HUGS))). 

    Love his name, that is one of my favorites!
    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Helen Keller

    MAY '15 DEC. SIGGY CHALLENGE- FAV. CHRISTMAS MOVIE

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    Dating- 3/1/1999 ~ Married- 10/10/2004
    DD#1- Sweet Pea ~ Born on her Due Date 3/1/2007
    DD#2- Pumpkin ~ Due 9/29/2010 Arrived 10/1/2010

    ~ BFP: 6/12/2013 EDD: 2/21/2014 NT Scan: 8/5/2013 (11w3d) MMC D&C: 8/8/2013 ~

    ~BFP: 3/15/2014 EDD: 11/24/2014 CP 4 weeks 4 days ~

    ~BFP: 7/2/2014 EDD: 3/15/2015 CP 4 weeks ~

    ~BFP: 8/31/2014 EDD: 5/10/2015

    BabyFruit Ticker

                    

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersimageimage
    *All are Welcome*

  • Congratulations on a wonderful ultrasound! I'm so sorry you had to go through the emotional stress leading up to that point, but what a blessing he is. ((hugs))

    DS born 10/22/2008
    DD born 12/23/2014

    m/c @10wks 12/2007
    m/c @4wks 3/2014


  • Oh he's beautiful!  I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that but it's wonderful that your nurse was able to get you in - she sounds excellent.
    BFP #1 09/26/2013 EDD 06/04/2013 MMC 11/01/2013
    BFP #2 05/15/2014 EDD 01/24/2015

    Pregnancy Ticker


  • He's just so much sweetness. And I love his name, Oliver! I know that Finn is watching over him.

    I'm sorry you and your H had such a day, compounded by the ultrasound place's mistake. I'm glad that your nurse/doctor were able to make that happen for you.

    And so many ((( hugs ))) for Finn's day. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP: 12/20/13 EDD: 08/23/14 (discovered m/c at 8w5d)
    BFP: 09/22/14 EDD: 06/06/15 (hoping for our rainbow)
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • what a harrowing day.  why do offices cancel appointments and then not tell you until you get there?  ugh.  i'm so glad you got to see little oliver.  i love his name, too...oliver was in contention if this LO turned out to be a boy.  (((big hugs)))
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    photo gum-chewers.gif
    BFP#1 EDD 04.20.2010, SUNSHINE baby boy born 03.31.2010
    BFP#2 EDD 12.07.2014, natural mc 04.09.2014 at 5w3d
    BFP#3 EDD 01.14.15, RAINBOW baby girl born 01.16.2015


    photo quad_zps6309d559.jpg  image   

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers  Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    jan'15 january siggy challenge: baby fails
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  • He's beautiful!! I'm sorry the u/s place jerked you around so much, but I'm so glad you got to see your perfect little boy!
    photo e9455f4d-9751-469e-a19f-460104cd2e5c.jpg photo jan15.jpg
    BFP #1 5/20/10 Natural MC at 5w4d 5/28/10
    BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
    BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
    BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
    "Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience."  Let it Be (blog)My BFP Charts
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    This time I'm not leaving without you.
  • Oh, I am so in love with the name Oliver!! I'm glad you're feeling relieved!

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    Me: 24 
    Him: 28 
    Married: 05/14/2011 
    BFP#1: 08/01/2014; EDD: 04/03/2015; Lost HB: 08/18/2014-08/20/2014; natural m/c 08/23/2014
    BFP#2: 09/25/2014; EDD: 06/07/2015
     

  • Aww! He looks perfect. Looks like he is sucking his thumb in there. Cutie patootie!
    image

    BFP #1 1/1/11 EDD 9/10/11 dx:no hb DNC on 2/2/11
    BFP #2 12/28/11 natural m/c on 2/6/12   BFP#3 2/16/13 dx:ectopic on 2/27 (given methotrexate) HSG 6/13-all clear BFP#4 11/18/13 natural m/c on 11/23  IVF #1 (Natural IVF Cycle) May 2014- Cycle failed (embryo did not make it to blast) BFP#5-7/26/14 GROW BABY GROW    IT'S A BOY DUE 4/5/15!

  • Such a beautiful little boy you've got in there! I adore his name.
    imageimage
    Me: 29 DH:30 married 6/5/10
    DS: 10/12/12 via ECS (blood clot in umbilical cord)
    BFP 1/25/14 mc at 6 1/2 weeks  EDD: 10/4/14
    BFP 4/10/14 mc at 4 1/2 weeks  EDD: 12/15/14
    BFP 5/14/14 mc at 5 1/2 weeks  EDD: 1/20/15
    BFP 8/28/14 *please, please stick*  EDD: 5/10/15
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