Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
AandStilltrying
member
Re: Pregnancy Check-In Sept. 29, 2014
How are you feeling? Uncomfortable pretty much always
Any news or dr. Appointment updates to share? No appointments until next week and at that one she'll check my cervix for dilation
Qotw: what is your relationship like with you inlaws? What do you expect to happen when you have your babies and they come to visit? Do you get along great and have similar ideas or is it going to be a little tense?
I will be 22 weeks tomorrow! I am doing ok although I think I am giving up on getting a full nights rest. I cannot get comfortable and my sciatica pain is getting worse. I am really trying to have a good attitude as I have a long ways to go and I know it is will only get worse.
I see my MFM next week!
QOTW:
I love my In laws but they drive me a bit crazy. They live about 6 hours away so I don't see them super often. They are both overly sensitive and get offended at every little thing which drives me bonkers. They are already upset that I said no to having family over to my house at Thanksgiving. I will be over 30 weeks and the thought of having 15 people come over and take over my kitchen etc stresses me out so I said not this year. They don't understand. I am sure I will equally offend them when I don't want them in my hospital room 24/7 after I have the babies.
Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR, DH: normal
IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
- poor responder
***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
FET 5/20- BFP
1st Beta- 641
2nd beta- 2166
Sono- TWINS!!!!
Two Boys! Born January 2015 @36 weeks. Healthy and no NICU! So blessed!
We just purchased a dresser for baby girl and I can't wait for it to come in so I can start washing clothes and getting them put away.
QOTW: my MIL is amazing. We have a bit of a language barrier and maybe you that makes things easier. But she is a wonderful person and is fabulous with my son. I know she will be a big help when the twins get here. My FIL passed away earlier this year, so one of the twins will have his first name as their middle name.
QOTW: I get along fine with the ILs but they are very elderly so it's more like grandparents to me (mil is 85/ FIL is 91). They won't ever watch the babies etc so the dynamic is just different than with my parents. I'm sure they'll come see the babies in the hospital but thankfully won't try to "help" me with them.
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
The girls still have strong heartbeats and my weight gain is still below the recommended goal (but whatever).
Should have more answers at my appointments on Thursday.
Qotd : I love my in laws! I don't like how MIL is with SIL (treats her more like a girlfriend than a daughter which has totally warped SIL's thinking over the years)but that's none of my business and our relationship is great! And FIL is wonderful too. They've loved me since the beginning and I love how they accepted my daughter from day one!
Bringing them both home...UPDATE...The girls are home!!! 1/7/15 after 20 days in the NICU!
Next Dr appt is 7th, otherwise all is good!
I have a great relationship with Inlaws - 97% of time.
How many weeks are you? 33w5d
How are you feeling? Big, tired & sore. Although I've noticed my swelling has gone done some - especially on my left side . . .I spotted an ankle!
Any news or dr. Appointment updates to share? Growth scan today and it went well. Baby A was measuring 5.18 lbs and Baby B was measuring 4.83 lbs with the +/- 1.5 lb accuracy of the u/s. Next appt on Wed for the NST and follow up with my doctor.
QOTW: I have an OK relationship with my ILs, there is a bit of a cultural difference (they immigrated from China). My FIL is in nursing home and his wife is glued to his side as she doesn't believe the nursing home is doing a proper job caring for him. I don't expect to see her at all, which is fine because I think we would clash over parenting styles (we've clashed about my job, she did this with SIL too). They live 4 hrs from here so they won't see the twins probably until we make the trip to NYC to visit them, which probably won't happen until the spring/summer.
Dx: Endometriosis
TTC May 2012
Jan 2014 IUI#1: BFN
Feb 2014 IUI #2: BFP
Beta #1: 403
First u/s: 3/14 It is TWINS!!
EDD: 11/12/2014 ~ Boys x2
~~ All welcomed ~~
How many weeks are you? 34 weeks
How are you feeling? I'm getting tired really easily. I have swollen ankles and heartburn, but overall I'm doing well.
Any news or dr. Appointment updates to share? I have an ultrasound on Thursday...can't wait! I have weekly NSTs, next one on Thursday as well. The babies have looked great on each of the NSTs I've had, but I always have some problem. Last week, I was having contractions during the test, but couldn't feel them. The doctor was concerned so she did a cervix check, which caused minor bleeding/spotting (and me panicking at first!). The contractions are similar to ones detected on a previous NST, and my cervix was still really high and barely a fingertip dilated so she's not overly concerned. Hopefully, this Thursday's test is less stressful!!
QOTW: I get along really well with my inlaws, but they do make me a little crazy at times. They live nearby, and have offered to help watch the babies once I go back to work along with my parents. They can be a little opinionated at times, but they usually will respect our opinions. I'm a little nervous about it, but I think it will go well.
How are you feeling? Tired, lots of bh, lots of heartburn
Any news or dr. Appointment updates to share? No appointments till Friday, but we are finally making progress in the nursery. DH has 3 days in a row off this week so he thinks he can finish it then.
Qotw: what is your relationship like with you inlaws? What do you expect to happen when you have your babies and they come to visit? Do you get along great and have similar ideas or is it going to be a little tense?
We get along pretty well. MIL is actually a babysitter. At least MIL will be here a lot. We are debating on having SIL move in temporarily , but DH doesnt want to deal with her moodswings. She just doesn't have a job and it will be cheaper having her here helping then paying gas mileage and extra to his mom.
Feeling pretty good, still super tired but other symptoms are gone.
Finally getting to graduate from RE to OB, appointment on Friday AM
I am super upset at my MILs reaction to us announcing that we were expecting and twins at that (her response was "whatever"!!!!!!) the drama fueled by her selfishness and us not taking her behavior any more. I'm sure it will be interesting, because it's gonna take effort on her part for me to even invite her to events anymore. I feel bad because hubby is between it all, wanting a relationship with her but also seeing how she is harming his family.
How are you feeling? Fantastic! H & I took a babymoon last week, which was amazing. And we both got to feel the babies move for the first time, so special!
Any news or dr. Appointment updates to share? We had our A/S yesterday and found out we're team purple!!! I am beyond thrilled and have no come down from cloud nine since yesterday morning
Team Purple!!!!
Good. Definitely slowing down. Heartburn is here for sure!
Tomorrow is my Anatomy US!! Super excited!
My inlaws are amazing! Seriously- they have been there for all major events in our families lives! Cannot wait for them to be here!
Married to Lee since 9/2/2000
Momma to Hais November 2002 and Carter April 2010 (with use of fertility treatments)
Cancer Survivor
How are you feeling? Eerily symptom free - apart from fatigue, headaches & heartburn - but none of it so bad that I can't deal.
Any news or dr. Appointment updates to share? I had a spotting scare yesterday, and I went in for a quick check up with the OB to make sure all was ok - and it seemed to be. I got to get a quick peek on the U/S - I can never really get enough of that.
Qotw: what is your relationship like with you inlaws? What do you expect to happen when you have your babies and they come to visit? Do you get along great and have similar ideas or is it going to be a little tense?
2013 summary: Diagnosed with Hypothyroid; Cervical polyp removed (benign);
2 rounds ovidrel with timed intercourse (no result): 3 rounds IUI with clomid + ovidrel (no result)
2014 summary (to date):
IVF cycle 1 - ER: 4/17 (28 follicles, 3 fertilized, 2 survived to day 3);
ET: 4/20 (3rd day, 2 embryos - 1 @ 6 cells & 1 @ 4 cells); Beta 5/1 - BFP!;
1st scan 5/13 - development behind, no heartbeat detected; D&C 6/2; WTF 6/13
IVF cycle 2 - BCP begun 7/12; stims w/ HGH begun 7/26;
ER: 8/6, 12 follicles, 7 fertilized w/ ICSI; ET: 8/11, 3 blastocysts left, 2 transferred, 3rd arrested 8/12 - none to freeze :'(
1st beta 8/19 - BFP! 294; 2nd beta 8/26 - 4976; 1st u/s 9/2; 2nd u/s 9/9 - two little heartbeats at 140 each!!!
EDD: 29-April-2015
Other Meds: Synthroid 100 mcg/daily