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June 2014 Moms
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Soceraphobia – fear of parents-in-law

SarahS11SarahS11 member
in June 2014 Moms
Apparently the fear of in-laws is a real thing! While I wouldn't say I fear them, I don't always love my time with them.  We used to have a thread about our crazy in-laws before our babies arrived, now we need some good in-law stories now that we have new little ones.  In honor of my in-laws coming to stay with us for the entire weekend (ugh), let's hear your best in-law story now that they are the grandparents of your beautiful new baby!
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Re: Soceraphobia – fear of parents-in-law

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  • FAWKES81FAWKES81 member
    babygabe614    I can totally relate to this.  My niece calls my Mom "MawMaw" but it sounds kinda like mama.  As such, my Mom seems to think that this is what her name should be for all grandkids (my LO is only the 2nd).  My former SIL may be OK with her child calling someone else something that sounds so close to Mamma but I'm NOT.  I spoke with my mom about it and she understands and she is *trying* to decide what she wants to be called (she says she is too young to be called grandma but she is over 60?).  She ends up getting frustrated when she is talking to LO and slips and then she'll say "or Nana or GG or WHATEVER You'll call me".  She is doing it in a passive-aggressive way and it irks me.  But I'm so thankful that she is watching LO for me I do my best to not complain or remind her when she slips up.

     

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  • lest12lest12 member
    My own grandmother also keeps asking about babysitting LO. Never. Ever. That woman is a wench.

     

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  • lest12lest12 member
    My IL's haven't been too bad. My MIL has all the opinions but DH shuts her down so I don't have to bother.

    The worst was SIL not coming to the baby's christening and causing a big ruckus because she doesn't believe in God. Whatever. She and I have never really been bff's anyway but at least now I can stop pretending.

     

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  • curlylocks3curlylocks3 member
    My best IL story? Tough call. Might be the time my MIL tried to hypnotize me.
    Post baby though I'd say for FIL it was him yelling at me for turning off the tv after he left the house- because then when he returned he had to take the time to turn it on and missed a hole in one in some golf tournament.
    For MIL her whole weekend was a shitshow (including saying I "hit them too hard" when I burp them) but probably what capped it off was her sitting down with H while I got a nap to tell him how she was concerned that I wasn't safe with the babies. Still haven't forgiven her for that.
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  • TaymillerTaymiller member
    With me it isn't my inlaws it is my own mother. She stayed for two weeks after LO was born and that was about 1.5 weeks too long. She kept on telling us that he was cold. She was mad because she couldn't help more because we were handling the transition so well. She said we have to many rules in our house and that we were picking on her for reminding her of said rules. Here is an example of our rules...close the garage door, can't recycle plastic grocery bags. How dare we be so mean!
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  • nicolewhelannicolewhelan member
    DH's mom passed away before we got engaged, but DH and I have both said how crazy she would be making us right now, so I am honestly glad I'm not dealing with that, as unfortunate of a situation as it is. FIL is coming over every other weekend to see LO. I know I shouldn't be annoyed with this, but he usually comes to our house like twice a year, maybe 3 times, that's it! Now he's coming over every other weekend. I find it absolutely insulting. You didn't want to make the hour (yeah only an hour) drive to see us before, but now you do. I told DH if he's going to come over how about he help us do stuff around the house. The yard could use tending to, or help DH finish the deck finally, etc. My mom comes over and helps us at least. She picks up, folds laundry, washes dishes, anything I need. He does nothing.

    BIL has been over once which is what I expected out of all of the family, so I'm not complaining there. And he did missed LO's christening...why, I don't know the exact reason, but I would be willing to bet $100, no $1,000, it was because the Falcon's were playing at the same time. 

    The only other thing that is bothering me is that DH's family thinks he only looks like their side of the family. Not me/mine at all. It just hurts a little for some reason. I guess I feel like I helped make this baby and he does have some of my traits. They just don't acknowledge it ever. 
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  • CrysW08CrysW08 member
    My MIL is coming to visit for four days next month & I'm dreading it because I know she's going to want to hold LO all the time but LO won't be having any of that! (She only tolerates people for a few minutes at a time, other than me & DH) If she doesn't willingly hand her over as soon as she starts fussing, shit's gonna hit the fan.

    She visited immediately after baby was born & since I had a c-section & our only bathroom is upstairs, I was basically stuck up there for most of the day but instead of coming up there with me, she stayed downstairs with the baby all day unless I demanded that DH bring her up to me. Then he went back to work & she STILL stayed downstairs forcing me to walk downstairs & getting more sore than I already was in the process in order to see my fucking baby. (I wasn't supposed to carry baby up the stairs either or I would've taken her back up!) I don't think she realized how it bothered me but I still have a lot of pent-up anger about it.
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  • babygabe614babygabe614 member
    edited September 2014
    @CAMag‌ if it happens again, I might say something. I just don't want to come across as ungrateful for everything she does for us. The free childcare is great, and I feel like saying something would seem like I'm micromanaging her.

    @FAWKES81‌ I could not handle "maw maw"! Around here, lots of grandmothers are called "mom mom" which I also wouldn't be a fan of.

    @SarahS11‌ my mom calls LO "Her baby" a lot too and it drives me crazy!

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  • jenlynne0624jenlynne0624 member
    FWIW I have called my grandma "mom mom" for my entire life and there was no confusion. I was with her constantly too. 
    @nicolewhelan my DHs family is like that too. It drives me insane. His mom will text me or tell me every time she she's me "Oh I was looking at D's baby pictures and H looks JUST like him! Same cheeks, and round face, and eyes, oh and the butt chin!" I then point out to her I also have a butt chin and extremely chubby cheeks and show her baby pictures of me that prove he looks more like me. No wonder she doesn't like me a whole lot. 
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  • babygabe614babygabe614 member
    CAMag said:
    @babygabe614‌ - I get it. Maybe you can approach it from a more general angle? Maybe you could say that you are scared that LO will be confused about who her mommy is bc you are gone so long and ask for help really differentiating your roles? It might make her more aware of where you are coming from without having to be so direct.
    That is a great approach. I might try that. Thank you!!

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  • frenchchocolate611frenchchocolate611 member
    nicolewhelan said:
    DH's mom passed away before we got engaged, but DH and I have both said how crazy she would be making us right now, so I am honestly glad I'm not dealing with that, as unfortunate of a situation as it is. FIL is coming over every other weekend to see LO. I know I shouldn't be annoyed with this, but he usually comes to our house like twice a year, maybe 3 times, that's it! Now he's coming over every other weekend. I find it absolutely insulting. You didn't want to make the hour (yeah only an hour) drive to see us before, but now you do. I told DH if he's going to come over how about he help us do stuff around the house. The yard could use tending to, or help DH finish the deck finally, etc. My mom comes over and helps us at least. She picks up, folds laundry, washes dishes, anything I need. He does nothing.

    BIL has been over once which is what I expected out of all of the family, so I'm not complaining there. And he did missed LO's christening...why, I don't know the exact reason, but I would be willing to bet $100, no $1,000, it was because the Falcon's were playing at the same time. 

    The only other thing that is bothering me is that DH's family thinks he only looks like their side of the family. Not me/mine at all. It just hurts a little for some reason. I guess I feel like I helped make this baby and he does have some of my traits. They just don't acknowledge it ever. 
    @nicolewhelan - My in laws are the same about the way DS looks. Since the night he was born they have constantly made comments about how DS is an exact clone of my DH (they do look alike, but he is definitely a mix of both of us and constantly changing) and looks nothing like me. Every time I try to point out something that looks like my side fo the family (eyes, red hair) they say no they don't see it. It really hurts my feelings too!!

     

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  • JmeJoLee83JmeJoLee83 member
    edited September 2014
    My MIL says my son has a lazy eye...wtf no he doesn't and so what if he does? That's your grandson stop being so critical
    First time mommy-to-be
    E.D.D. June 1, 2014

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